As her first dance of the night came to an end, Kathryn looked up at Tom and smiled. It was a simple gesture of thanks for helping to ease her tension. The room echoed with applause for the holographic band and the next song began. Before she and Tom could pick up the tempo, she felt a tap on her shoulder.
"Mind if I cut in?" B'Elanna asked with a smirk.
"Not at all," Kathryn replied.
The couple came together and danced closely, they had never looked happier or more in love. Kathryn was making her way off the dance floor when she was approached by Harry. He simply smiled and held out a hand. She smiled back and took it.
Tom hadn't been lying about the number of people who desired a dance with their captain. She had danced with Ayala, Icheb, the Doctor, and various other members of the crew. In between changing dancing partners, she would be approached by other crew members who wished to express their gratitude and discuss plans of their futures once they reached earth. Kathryn realized that other than seeing her mother and sister, she hadn't thought about what she wanted her life to look like. She no longer had her fiancé, her house was probably sold, and Molly had likely forgotten her. Everything that comprised her life; gone. All that was left was Starfleet. She assumed that with getting her crew home, would come admiralty. But what would happen after that? Some crew members talked about how they would go on to find their true calling, some said how they would want to pursue a long lost dream, others expressed an interest in starting a family and putting down roots. She had no idea. Finally, they had found their way home, and yet here she was, more lost than ever.
By the time the party had wound down, only five people had remained: Kathryn, Tom, B'Elanna, Harry, and the Doctor. Everyone else had gone back to their quarters. The holographic band had gone and all that was left was an empty dance floor and tables cluttered with dirty dishes. About ten minutes prior, Kathryn's heart had shattered slightly at the sight of Chakotay and Seven leaving hand in hand. She could tell that Harry, Tom, and B'Elanna were all staying because they didn't want to leave her alone. She loved how much they cared, but it wasn't fair to keep them up, especially since Tom and B'Elanna were already lacking sleep with a newborn at home.
"Why don't you all go back to your quarters, you look absolutely exhausted. I'll only stay for a little while longer. Don't worry about the program I'll shut it off myself," she said, directing the three of them towards the door.
"Are you sure captain? It's no trouble..." Harry said.
"I'm positive. Thank you for the offer," She patted his arm and he nodded and walked off.
"Good night captain," Tom said on his way out the door.
"Good night," she waved.
As the doors closed, she could hear the soft, familiar melody. The same one she had danced to with the hologram of Chakotay.
"One last dance?" asked the doctor.
"How could I refuse," she said sarcastically.
He lead her to the middle of the empty dance floor and they moved along to the tune.
Looking up, she saw a familiar look in his eyes. It was the same look she had in hers.
She sighed.
"You love her, don't you?" she asked.
There was no need for her to specify. He knew that she was referring to Seven.
"Yes," he stated simply.
There was a pause.
"And you love him," he said matter-of-factly.
"Yes," she whispered.
"My, aren't we a pair," he scoffed.
"I'd say so," she said, holding back tears.
There was no longer a need for either to speak. The two likened souls depended on each other for solace. Neither needed to state that they were pretending to dance with other people, they both knew, they both understood. As the song came to an end, the doctor separated from her and laid a gentle kiss on her cheek.
"Goodnight captain," he said with a sad smile.
"Goodnight Doctor," she replied.
She closed her eyes as a few tears escaped. Hearing the door open and close to release the doctor, now her surroundings matched how she felt inside; alone.
She walked over to the nearest table, pulled out a chair and took a seat. She laid her head in her hands as the tears began to flow freely. She was so immersed in her sadness, she hadn't been able to hear the sound of the door open.
"I was hoping I'd find you here," Chakotay said, making his way to her.
He sped up his pace out of concern when he noticed that she was crying.
"Kathryn?" he placed a hand on her shoulder and waited for her to respond, but she didn't. She wasn't even sure that her body was still capable of movement. She was frozen with mortification. 'Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse,' she thought.
She tried her best to wipe her tears before looking up.
"Sorry, I don't know what came over me. I'm just feeling a little overwhelmed," she lied.
"That's understandable considering what you've been through. Do you want to talk about it?" he asked.
"No, no really I'm fine," she lied again.
"Shouldn't you be with Seven?" she tried to conceal the bitterness in her tone but failed. Her gaze avoided his and aimed itself at the floor.
"She's regenerating right now," he pulled out a chair and sat opposite her.
"Actually, we had a bit of a talk," he started.
"We decided to end things," her head shot up as soon as he spoke the words.
"I'm sorry. That must have been difficult," this time it was hope that she failed to conceal.
"Not really. I realized tonight... that I could never truly give her my heart, and she couldn't give me hers. She actually ended up confessing to me that her feelings have grown quite complicated...especially her feelings for the Doctor. She believes he would be a better match for her personality. She's going to talk to him about it tomorrow,"
"I don't know what to say," she knew what she wanted to say. She wanted to say that it would be ok. That it would be more than ok, because she loved him, she was his match, and she had been waiting for him. Instead, she looked into his eyes and remained silent.
"Say...yes," he said with a smile.
"Say yes to what?" she laughed.
He then turned the music back on and played a gorgeous love song. He held out his hand.
"May I have this dance?" he asked, flashing his dimples.
"Yes," she smiled and shook her head.
They danced close to one another, her head rested against his shoulder. He kissed the crown of her head lightly, hoping she wouldn't notice it, but she did. The contact sent shivers down her spine.
She slowly lifted her head up and looked into his eyes.
"You said that you couldn't give your heart to Seven," she paused.
"Why?" the hesitation in her voice lingered.
He didn't answer for what felt like the longest time, but finally he found the right words.
"You can't give someone something that you've already given away, and I gave my heart to someone else a long time ago," he replied.
She smiled.
"If she doesn't have your heart, and you no longer have it...who does?" she asked.
"I think you know the answer to that," he smiled, and she could've sworn that she saw him blush.
"Maybe. But I want to hear it from you," she replied.
He took a deep breath.
"Kathryn Janeway, you have held my heart for seven years, and no matter how hard I try to get it back, it belongs to you... There, happy?" he teased.
She didn't say a word. She stopped moving, maybe even stopped breathing. All she was capable of was looking at him in awe. Before another word was said, she leaned in close to capture his lips with her own. It was true, his hologram had been an empty promise, a poor imitation of the real thing. This was real, and in every way that mattered, it was perfect.
The kiss had deepened, but Chakotay pulled back with a sigh.
"Kathryn... If we're going to do this, it's got to be the real thing. I won't settle for some fling or something unstable or unsure. If you want to be with me it's got to be permanent," he said seriously.
She smiled and laughed under her breath.
"Was that a proposal?" She said sarcastically.
He smirked.
"Not formally, but in a way. I just want to be clear about what it is I want," he said.
"And what would that be exactly?" she asked.
"You. I want you by my side. I want a life with you," he spoke slowly.
He continued.
"If that isn't what you want..." he didn't get to finish his statement. She cut him off by kissing him, with more passion than before. She pulled away smiling.
"That's exactly what I want," she smiled so hard that it made her face hurt.
"I love you, Kathryn," he whispered.
"I love you too," she replied.
He bent down for another kiss, but she held up her hand and stopped him.
"One more thing," she took a deep breath and closed her eyes.
"Computer end program," as she commanded, everything shimmered out of sight until it was just him and her. Upon opening her eyes, she let out a sigh of relief.
"Just making sure," she said, as she pulled him back into another kiss.