Teto's Blog Rant Chapter 2: Back and Badder Than Ever, a vocaloid fanfic

A/N: Teto is back. And she's got more hilarious tales to tell. There's many more mishaps to come, people. Beware. Just so you know, I actually am planning to continue "Project: VOCALOID" and the new chapter should be up in a couple of days. BTW, if you want to check out my MMD trailer for PV, it's on my profile. Just follow the link.

It's great to be back.

~ Warning - This page contains swearing, crude humor, and Teto.

Teto's Blog Rant

Back and Badder Than Ever

Login: Teto Kasane

Password: stupidLUKA

Welcome, Teto Kasane!

8:20 PM

Hey, guys! It's been a while, right? Freaking long like, I dunno… two weeks? It felt like an eternity for me. So, yeah. I know you guys might be an teensy, weensy bit angry at me. But before you take out your sharp knives and life-hazardous chainsaws at me, please… hear me out!

My absolute darling cousin Luka-chan~ (in other words, that BITCH) tattled on me and my sweetest, dearest mother grounded me yet again. This time, from doing anything, including going within six feet of anything electronically useful.

Damn.

If there's anyone you want to blame, it's that stupid Luka.

…

Yeah, that's right! Ha! In your face, Luka-chan! You know my saying; you can take the Teto out of the internet, but you can never take the internet out of Teto! Computer addict here! I'm back and I've risen from the dust, loyal fans!

VICTORY!

XDXDXD XDXD XD XD XD

… Ha.

XD.

If you managed to read every single 'ha', then congrats, you have just earned my love. However, if you've spent more than five minutes reading the entire thing… then, you've just moved down a rank.

Just kidding.

Anyway, it feels damn good to be back. Today is such a great day! I won an epic verbal battle against my mommy, I saw Akita trip down a flight of stairs (I swear it wasn't me), and all my yaoi friends from Guam and I have decided to come together and launch worldwide yaoi spam for everyone in Asia!

Ah. Life is great.

But you know the best part of today was?

Okay, okay, okay! So… I have to tell you guys this amazing, super-fun, happy, wonderful thing today~! Eeek! Guess what?

Ted's ass… touched my notebook!

KYAAAAH~!

I mean, so in third hour, right? I was just leaning back and listening to one of Yuki Kaai's latest hits (hottest child singer right now!) and yawning away. Until suddenly!

Ted walks by.

And just as he squeezes between the desks of mine and nerdy Piko's, his hot and perfectly plaid jean-covered baby bottom brushes my favorite Hello-Kitty notebook. After he left, I practically screamed before snatching it up and breathing it in (and Piko next to me was just staring 'wtf' at me and I was like, RAAAR TED'S ASS SCENT IS MIIINE).

Yeah, I've been inhaling Ted-seasoned notebook this entire time, even now.

Aaaaaaaaah~…. smells like margarine.

Okay, but so now~ I'm finally ungrounded! Now, I can give you the latest gossip and tales about my amazing teenage life of drama and stupidity.

So here is another tale to share.

It was Wednesday (which was yesterday). The girls' locker-room was quiet and everyone was changing. Rin-tan, Luka, and I walked in (though, I made a dramatic entrance by announcing 'I'M HOOOOME'!) before decided to change.

Remember Rin? The cutest loli in the world who I would go lesbian for it weren't for Ted?

Yeeeeah.

So, anyway, here's how it happened; The un-awesome, uncool, bitchy Akita decided it would be funny to trip Teto on her way to the toilet. So, she did just that and starting laughing like the ugly phone-addict bitch she is. (Luka was like, 'oh my' and Rin was like, 'duh?')

Teto was not happy.

Teto was not happy at all.

Luckily, Teto had something in her pocket which every single girl in the entire world feared.

… A rubber chicken.

However, it was modified to look like a man-eating vampire-spider chicken with black wings (oh yeah). Using Rin's naïve exterior, I ordered her to go up to her and at throw it at her face (which she did without complain, fabulously I might add).

Too bad she had to do it when Akita was walking down stairs at the time.

And then, it happened.

With Rin's mighty accurate strength, the vampire-spider chicken flung across the hall… and landed -SPLAT- on Akita's face. Naturally, she screamed bloody murder not knowing what the hell just happened and tumbled down the stairs in front of all the students, including Ted-kun and his posse.

…

…. She didn't die, of course.

But still.

Luckily, no one likes Akita (including Ted-kun) so no one had the motivation to tell on us. Plus, her lackeys were in the bathroom at the time, so yeah. Luka and Meiko (yes, I'm pointing you out, Mei-chan) didn't fail to give me a long, expectant lecture of 'responsibility' or 'using innocent people like Rin' or even crap like, 'someone could've gotten hurt'.

What am I, like, six-years-old?

C'mon.

Kagamine-kun (Rin's brother) suffered a near heart-attack at seeing something so deadly and vicious wrangle with Rin. Apparently, in his view, he thought the chicken happened to be a rat that bit Rin's hand before she escaped. I was like, it's a rubber chicken for crying out loud! Afterwards, he practically glared at me as he dragged Rin to class.

One shout-out to Meiko~;

CONFESS YOUR LOVE ALREADY DAMMIT! EVERYONE'S GETTING TIRED OF YOUR DENIALS SO SUCK IT UP AND MAKE BABIES WITH HIM ALREADY.

Yup.

The Teto/Akita-bitch war continues! So stay tuned!

Crap, it's time for me to leave… but one last thing!

Nami Kagamine, I want to thank you for being a faithful fan of mine, reading and commenting on my blog updates. I really appreciate the loyalty. Oh, and by the way~ thanks for the new collection of Kagamine-kun's naked baby photos~ his fans will love the new addition! I'll be sure to give you the fair profit~ ;)

Loyal viewers, are you interested to own the originated form of one of the world's most adorable shotas? Baby-blue eyes, ladylike features but with a boy's body? Hell yeah! Come by the Seija academy school and ask for me, Kasane Teto-chan!

Unless you live too far away, then just e-mail me at sexytedflower15rocketmail for more details. ;D.

Thank you.

Teto-God (that's me) has signed off!

(Six hours later)

Comment ~ Favorite

432 new comments have been added!

5 new comment(s) from your friends have been added!

…

Meiko: I would appreciate if you would stop invading on my love life, thank you very much. :/

…

Nami Kagamine: Yaay~! Thank you, Teto-chan! But I have to request if you can raise it to 5300 yen/an album instead? Baby Len-kun's cuteness is a rare, extravagant cost indeed oh no he's here! O_O EEEEEE-adkjadl;sjfadkfjal;djl;jdf

…

Nami Kagamine: Um, this is Len here, Kasane-san. I'm using mom's account right now. But I have to ask if you can please discontinue selling my (naked) baby pictures to the girls at school? Besides, I really don't want them to see the one with the embarrassing fallen diaper train… (Also, please stop calling me a shota -_-…)

…

Luka Megurine: Why did I have to be stuck with the most embarrassing, obscene, and obnoxious cousin on the planet?

…

Kyoko Kasane: Really, Teto. Your father and I raised you better than this. We're going to have a long talk after dinner.

...

Teto Kasane: XD. Oh, well. It was totally worth it.

1 new message(s) received!

From: Meiko

To: Teto Kasane

Subject: Stupid Otaku

Can you stop sending me all these weird pictures of vampire boys making out? It's really getting annoying.

From: Teto Kasane

To: Meiko

Subject: re: Stupid Otaku

What if I sent you this glittery wallpaper showing a hot, steamy yaoi couple? It'll look great on your desktop.

From: Meiko

To: Teto Kasane

Subject: re: Stupid Otaku

No.

From: Teto Kasane

To: Meiko

Subject: re: Stupid Otaku

One of them has blue hair~ ;)

From: Meiko

To: Teto Kasane

Subject: re: Stupid Otaku

… Does the other one at least look a little bit like me?

From: Teto Kasane

To: Meiko

Subject: re: Stupid Otaku

From: Meiko

To: Teto Kasane

Subject: re: Stupid Otaku

Shut up. And don't you tell anyone about this.

From: Teto Kasane

To: Meiko

Subject: re: Stupid Otaku