3 ½ Years Earlier…

Remus' head swam as he attempted to stand and he quickly dropped back down on the corner of his unmade bed. His haggard face held a vacant expression as hot tears seeped from unblinking eyes and trailed salty tracks across his sunken cheeks, catching for a moment and glittering against the pale scars marring his unshaven jaw before gathering in the damp, stretched neckline of his ratty old t-shirt.

Wearily he pulled his knees toward his chest, hugging them as close as his slightly rounded stomach would allow. Remus bit his dry, cracked, lower lip hard enough to draw blood as he broke down into sobs once more.

Buried under a mound of wet, used tissues and discarded paper backs the muggle alarm clock ticked endlessly in the quiet of the darkened flat. Time never stood still.

Five months; it had been five months since his three best friends had died- murdered by the dark lord. Five long, empty months since his lover had been arrested, sentenced to life in Azkaban without so much as a trial. For five months Remus hadn't transformed on nights of the full, and his body had betrayed him a different way; he was pregnant.

Pregnant with his lovers child, a murderers child- no, he mustn't think like that. He had to believe that Sirius was innocent; that he wouldn't, no he couldn't do that to their friends, to their baby, and to him. Every day since that horrible night in October Remus cried himself to a fitful sleep and when the first full since his friends' deaths and Sirius' imprisonment arrived he honestly hadn't expected to live to see sunrise.

The wolf had lost its pack, Moony had lost his mate and nothing could ever be right again. But something amazing and terrifying and wonderful but terrible happened; he didn't transform. He could remember sitting naked on the floor of the Shrieking Shack, starring at the rising moon with shockingly human eyes.

Tears of anger and joy, disbelief and awe had spilled down his pale cheeks as he stood on two shaky legs to gaze at the full moon. It was beautiful; this impossible thing, he was pregnant. And the timing was terrible, how could he ever do this alone? And it was wonderful, he had something to fight for, something of his lover to hold onto; a reminder of his life before this bloody awful war.

Though rumors of the Dark Lord's defeat at the hands of Harry Potter- James would be so proud, insufferably so- had spread quickly, without their leader the Death Eaters had become unpredictable; attacking randomly and in the open. The war was far from over, and Remus knew his battles had only just begun.

Wizard or not, a pregnant man couldn't exactly walk down the street unnoticed, especially a pregnant man without a partner. An unmated pregnant werewolf was unheard of. When they had first made the decision to start trying to get pregnant they had imagined being together for the duration, facing the scornful stares and awkward questions together.

Now, five months later, he was definitely still pregnant and still painfully alone, but the fight had begun to go out of him. He was just so tired.

The Healers told him it was normal to feel fatigued at this stage of pregnancy; it would pass just like the nausea and morning-but really all day sickness -of his first trimester. The Healers didn't understand. He wasn't fatigued, he was downright exhausted. The state of his tiny flat bore testament to the fact that most days he couldn't even drag himself out of bed anymore, only making an effort when he knew someone was coming round. It wasn't until someone decided to pop by unannounced that he was caught out.

Molly Weasely pecked her husband on the cheek, admonished her children to behave, checked Ronald's nappy and set her shoulders before stepping determinately into the floo. Stepping out moments later into Remus Lupin's unkempt living room she frowned, and resting a comforting hand on her baby bump attempted to sooth her daughter from the shock of travelling through the floo network, went in search of the flat's owner.

She found him quite easily, curled up in a little ball on the corner of his bed, tear tracks staining his face where it wasn't hidden by a mess of blankets and crumpled sheets.

"Remus?"

The form on the bed ignored her, curling more tightly around itself and pulling a discarded pillow over its face.

This just wouldn't do. Taking a firm stance, hands on hips and feet set comfortably shoulder width apart Molly was an imposing figure, red hair framing her face with indignant tendrils of flame where it escaped her hairpins, mouth drawn into a thin line, and blue eyes creased with worry for her young friend.

"Remus Lupin, I know you can hear me! Now sit up this instant and march yourself to the bath. We are going to clean this flat top to bottom, starting with you."

Her tone booked no argument so Remus slid slowly from the bed, using the wall to keep his balance when his equilibrium threatened to give out. Absently thinking that he must get Molly to teach him that trick, he ignored the pain in his chest that accompanied the automatic thought that it would have worked so well on Padfoot, and drug himself through the washroom to take a shower.

When they were all finished, sitting comfortably on Remus' newly rediscovered couch, feet up on the coffee table enjoying a hot cuppa, he was glad they'd done it. While it had been a bit embarrassing when the older woman had unearthed a mountain of filthy socks and truly mortifying when she found a pink lacey thong and neon green dildo buried under the couch cushions it was nice to be able to see his flat again. Furthermore he had no doubts that he would be able to sleep that night, he was utterly exhausted.

The conversation between them had lulled to a comfortable silence that was broken suddenly when Remus let out a surprised gasp followed by his teacup clattering to the floor. Molly watched with a smile as he brought his hands to rest on his belly and a rare smile lit up his face.

"Merlin! She kicked!"

The older woman grinned happily, no matter how many times you got to feel your baby's first kick it never stopped being magical.Quickly banishing the spilt tea and repairing the broken teacup with practiced ease-she had six sons after all- Molly winked teasingly at Remus.

"Better watch out Remus, I'll wager you've got a beater growing in there!"

Remus chuckled, a welcome sound in the small, but thanks to Molly, tidy flat.

"No I think this one's a chaser just like Si-"

The smile dropped from his face as he abruptly cut himself off.

Molly smiled sadly, it couldn't be easy for Remus, losing his three best friends to his lover, finding himself alone and pregnant in a society that wished to be rid of him. And he still hoped for Sirius' innocence. Despite herself Molly found that she was hoping for Sirius' innocence as well, if only to spare Remus the heartache.

He was such a caring young man, if not for his unfortunate 'accident' during his youth he would have made an excellent professor. While she would like to say that Remus' being a werewolf didn't bother her at all- and why should it? He was a decent, intelligent young man- Molly wasn't entirely sure she'd be comfortable with her children near him come full moon. It wasn't Remus she was worried about, it was the wolf.

"Come to dinner tonight love, the kids have been asking about you, and good meal will do the both of you good."