Sweet Insanity

A/N: I know some of you had some questions about the first chapter. I promise things will be explained with every new chapter.

There will be mentions of past Dean/Cas, and torture in later chapters including some noncon.

I do not own Supernatural... if i did well...

Sam jolted awake. He glanced around to make sure that he did in fact break free from the cage. So far no sign of Lucifer, but the day has only just begun. With a sigh, Sam got out of bed. He paced a few steps mentally debating if he wanted to go for a run. His ears picked up soft groans from the other room. It was not Bobby. The old hunter slept like a dead man. Worried, Sam walked out into the other room.

He found his brother tossing and turning on the couch. The older Winchester was muttering though Sam could not make out what. Dean's eyes snapped open, and the glassy green eyes were watery from unshed tears.

"Dean," the younger Winchester muttered.

The older sibling took a deep breath and willed the tears away. Sam sat down on the edge of thecouch and placed a hand on his brother's shoulder. The taller male knew something was up. His brother just did not cry for anything. Dean's usual guarded expression hid the emotions that could have been found on his face only moments ago.

"Sleep okay Sammy?" the older Winchester asked in a slightly worried tone.

Sam sighed. His brother was always more concerned with Sam's wellbeing than his own.

"I'm fine Dean," Sam immediately responded. And it was true; he wasn't any better or worse. "It's you I'm worried about," the younger Winchester added.

Dean stood from the couch with a huff. He went to his duffel to put on a pair of pants and a t-shirt on.

"You got nothing to worry about little brother," he spoke.

Sam crossed his arms. He watched as Dean reached for his flask and took a large gulp.

"Oh yeah, then why are you drinking first thing if you are so ok?" questioned the younger sibling.

Sam could not see the haunted look in Dean's usual vibrant emerald orbs. He did not want to Sam to know; did not want his brother to know that every time he closed his eyes he saw him. Dean was already hiding enough from his brother already.

"Well what can I say, it's happy hour somewhere," Dean weakly responded.

The taller of the two moved closer to the other male. "You can tell me Dean," Sam spoke in a comforting voice.

The older Winchester knew if he turned around he would get the full power of Sam's irresistible puppy dog eyes. It was the one thing Dean could not say no to.

"Maybe he just doesn't think his basket case of a brother can handle his problems," Lucifer put his two cents in.

With reluctance, Sam glanced around to pinpoint where the voice came from. Sitting at the old rectangle, wooden table the devil sat. The younger Winchester told himself over and over again that Lucifer was not really there, rather just a figment of his imagination. Satan was still stuck in the cage, while the hunter escaped.

A frown formed on Nick's lips. "You know ignoring me won't make me go away Sammy," Lucifer taunted.

Sam closed his eyes and bit his bottom lip while clutching his hands so tight that his nails broke skin. Dean turned around when he noticed his brother's unusual quietness. The sight of his younger sibling got an immediate reaction from the elder Winchester. He immediately put a comforting hand on Sam's broad shoulder.

"Hey, this is reality. He is not real," Dean comforted.

Sam opened his eyes and offered a weak half smile.

He replied, "I know Dean."

Dean nodded his head and squeezed his brother shoulder. Sammy was really making progress in all honesty. The green-eyed hunter knew in time, Sam would increasingly get better.

Bobby watched the scene with pride shining in his grey eyes. The bond between the Winchester brothers was stronger than ever. He knew neither of them could get past the hardships they are facing without the support of the other. The aging hunter cleared his throat. The Winchester brothers' heads snapped to Singer's direction.

"Are we going to stand around and braid each other's hair, or are we going to get some work done?" Bobby sarcastically commented.

Both young men were grateful for the interruption. Dean needed an escape from his suffocating thought while Sam was appreciative for the distraction. If he could focus on something else, it was much easier to ignore Lucifer's imaginary presence. Both Bobby and Sam moved to sit at the table where a large pile of thick and dusty heavy tomes rested. The dirty blond male grabbed a couple of the books and sat down on the couch. He preferred his own space to do the tedious task of research. This is how they spent most of their days now when they were not working on a case. There had to be a way to stop the damn Leviathans. They could not be invincible.

They sat there for the next few hours researching. Dean could not help himself to let his mind wander. He kept seeing Cas everywhere. In his dreams and every time he closed his eyes. Neither Bobby nor Sam knew how close the angel and his charge got. They decided it was their secret to keep. Dean thought back to the first time things changed between himself and his angel.

~Flashback~

The first time Dean and Castiel kissed was after the meeting Raphael. The hunter had gotten drunk after trapping the teenage mutant ninja archangel. Cas had decided to stick around to keep the human company. After the Winchester brothers decided to split up, Dean found himself so lonely. It was nice having someone else around even though he would not admit he missed his brother's presence. Dean had asked if the angel had kissed the hooker he had been with. Dean remembered the embarrassed look on the angel's face. Cas admitted they did not even get that far.

Things took a shocking turn when Cas admitted he would not be so intimate with someone like her. It got the green-eyed male wondering. What kind of person would Castiel kiss? So with drunken confidence, the Winchester asked the other male what was on his mind. That made the angel blush. Cas asked Dean if he really wanted to know. Not really getting the hidden undertone, the hunter had answered yes. In a blink of an eye, Castiel's lips were on Dean's in a soft but powerful kiss. The hunter was completely shocked. He wondered what was more shocking, the fact that Cas was kissing him, or that he was kissing the angel back with just as much passion.

~End Flashback~

Dean inwardly laughed. He and Cas had acted like two virgins who barely knew anything about sex. It was funny considering the hunter had never been nervous with anyone else. Hell, he wasn't even that nervous when he first had sex. But then again, it was never as special as it had been when he was with Cas the first time.

~Flashback~

Dean put his phone back in his pocket. He was going to meet Sam tomorrow. The very thought was both exciting and nerve wracking to the hunter. It was the right thing to do patching things up with Sammy. The elder Winchester turned back to the dark-haired angel who stood beside him. Still seeing the oblivious (or not so much) angel made the hunter blush. He did not regret kissing the other man, but it was a whole new territory Dean thought he would never explore.

"I'm meeting Sam tomorrow," he informed the other man.

Castiel took another step closer to the human. Dean closed his eyes and enjoyed feeling everything Cas made him feel.

"That is good," the angel replied as he placed a hand on the hunter's cheek.

Dean opened his eyes and gazed into those soul piercing ocean depths the angel had for eyes. Slowly their lips met in a soft and loving kiss. But Dean wanted more, no he needed more. Seeing what Cas could be like in the future put things into perspective. They were barely even speaking to one another in that monstrosity of a timeline. Dean could not let that happened.

"Cas," the human muttered as their kiss broke apart.

They had agreed to take things slow. For them, there was no need to rush things. But Dean needed his angel. Castiel had this questioning look in his eyes. He wasn't sure if his lover was ready.

"Please Cas," the Winchester muttered before pulling the other man into a desperate and needy kiss.

They stayed like that for a while. The two men gravitated toward one another leaving no space between them. After a long moment, they broke apart for some much needed air. Cas transported them to another room. Dean glanced around and noticed there was only one king sized bed.

Dean could not help but gulp. This was it. He slowly pushed the trench coat off of his lover's shoulders before removing his own jacket and shirts. The two lovers took a moment to admire the other. The Winchester was surprised to find the hidden body underneath the suit he always saw kiss in. Once when all the clothes were removed, Castiel slowly lowered Dean and himself on to the bed. Dean stared into his lover's eyes all the while. He knew he was never going to have any regrets with Cas.

~End Flashback~

Dean closed his eyes to hide away from the emotions he felt. That was the best time with Cas. Before the Winchester was stupid to consider saying yes to Michael, before Sammy willingly jumped into the cage, before Castiel returned to Heaven, and before Dean decided to try to start something with Lisa. It was a time the hunter wished he could go back to. A time where everything seemed so easy and right.

A/N: Well what did you think? More will be revealed in the next couple of chapters.

Is Cas really dead, or is he looked away in Jimmy's body somewhere while the Levaithans run the show? What is happening in Dean's dreams?

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