The Babysitting Conspiracy
Chapter 2
On hearing that The Gunmen had brought over some tapes with Star Trek on it, William had promptly decided that there was no way that he was sitting down to watch the adventures of Spock and Captain Kirk without proudly wearing the enterprise costume that his uncle Charlie had bought him for him for Christmas only a few months before. The Gunmen quickly relented after some minor protestations to William's changing after the small boy had looked up at the three of them in a very Scully-like way, foot tapping and eyebrows raised.
William grinned widely at his three uncles, looking around the living room in excitement as the end credits rolled on their second episode of Star Trek for the evening.
Byers moved William (who was seated on his knee) on to the couch beside him as he stood up to change the tape in the VCR and to grab some more popcorn from the adjoining kitchen. William whirled around before wasting no time to scramble into Langly's (who had been sitting next to Byers) lap.
The little boy grinned toothily at his long haired uncle before chanting off the Star Trek into to the best of his four year old abilities. "These are the why-yages of The Enterprise ", William said proudly, before holding up five chubby fingers to illustrate his next point. "It's five year missy-uhn to explore strange new worlds, to see new life...". That was when he trailed off, with a head scratch, forgetting what came next. He looked between the two remaining Gunmen (Langly and Frohike) for help.
Langly chuckled slightly, shaking his head but helped the kid on nonetheless. "And new civilisations, to boldly...".
William cheered, wiggling around on Langly's lap, remembering the rest because it was his favourite part. "To boldly go where no man has gone before", he shouted gleefully, bouncing up and down on his uncle's knee. "We did it, Uncle Langee!", he said, kneeling up and setting both of his chubby arms on either one of Langly's shoulders.
Frohike looked sideways between William and Langly (right next to the couch on a plush armchair) and chuckled at the matching fan-boy grins on their faces.
"Next one is all your choice, Kiddo", Frohike offered kindly, fully prepared to end up watching some kiddies cartoon even though he would grudgingly admit to thinking that Scooby Doo and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles weren't half bad.
William giggled, grinning at Frohike and heading over to the shelf under the TV set. William knelt down on the carpet, running a finger along the spines of all the VCR cases before stopping at the collection Disney movies that his Grandma Scully had gotten him for his birthday the previous and enthusiastically proceeded to pull out 'Alice in Wonderland', the colourful case held tightly in his pudgy little hand.
"Alice in Wonderland", William exclaimed holding up the thick case for his uncles inspection.
Frohike took the case from his nephew, turning it over to check the back. He smirked over at Langly and Byers (who had returned back into the room shortly after William and Langly had finished recounting the Star Wars intro).
"You know, guys", he said, addressing the two of his friends more so than William. "I read some pretty dope conspiracy theories about this book and movie. You know, the whole thing is about drugs", he said. "Crystal Meth, MDMA, Mushrooms, Marijuana, Opium, Speed, Cocaine, Nitros Oxide. The works really".
Byers frowned in amusement, hoping that William didn't pick up too much from the conversation. "Yeah, I heard something like that actually. They say that Lewis Carroll was actually on drugs when he wrote the book".
"And that's why you can only understand it the way it's supposed to be when you're high", Langly chipped in, also familiar with the tales surrounding the children's story.
William remained on the carpet, looking up at his uncles in curiosity with his legs crossed like a Buddha monk. "What's drugs, Uncle Hicky?", the little brown haired boy asked, his bright blue eyes widening at the prospect of learning new things, hungry for knowledge.
Frohike stared at the young boy, once again caught in the headlights by William's inquisitiveness for the second time in one evening. Why did it always have to be him that the kid asked? Why couldn't Langly and Byers get the brunt of it every so often.
"They're like sweets, kiddo", he said gruffly, trying to avoid using any words that could pop more questions into William's little head and get him (Frohike) into further trouble with Scully later in the evening when she and Mulder got home and found out that their kid had learned about recreational drug use. Even after thirteen years the little redheaded woman's fieriness scared the crap out of him.
"Like when you eat too much sweets and chocolate and you go all hyper", Frohike finished, to clarify his point.
William nodded in understanding, looking once again between his uncles and the now blank television screen. "Can we get high?", he asked sweetly with his blue eyes wide and hopeful at the thoughts of sweets, chocolate and soda. They were all things that his mummy only let him eat in moderation when he was good because it was bad for his teeth. She didn't know that he and his daddy often split big bars of chocolate on the way home from day-care in the evenings. (William wasn't going to tell that to The Gunmen though, that was his and his daddy's big-man-secret).
Langly chuckled at the look on the small boy's face and his definition of 'getting high'. "Sure, Kid. Where does your mom and dad keep the good stuff", he said, getting up to head towards the kitchen.
William giggled, quickly getting up from the floor to join Langly over in the kitchen area. "In the high shelf, up in the corner", he said pointing up as high as he could reach while standing on tiptoes. He knew that was where the sweets were kept for when he had been good or when his cousins were coming to stay over and play.
Langly grinned, finding it difficult to deny the kid anything. William really did have all three of the Gunmen wrapped around his little finger.
Langly grabbed the three packets of Reese's Peanut Buttercups, two large bars of Hershley's Cookies n' Cream, a box of Lucky Charms, four cans of Vanilla flavoured Coke and a big tub of Ben and Jerry's Phish Food. "What do you think. Satisfactory, kiddo?".
William cheered excitedly. "That looks great, Uncle Langee", he exclaimed, hurrying back to Frohike's lap to watch the movie and to enjoy the sweets that Langly was gathering up to bring over to the living room area.
Frohike ruffled William's hair as soon as the little boy crawled into his lap. "You need to pace yourself now, Kiddo. Don't go eating it all at once or else your Mom will have our heads, okay?".
William giggled, always finding it funny how Uncle Frohike was afraid of his mommy. "I promise, Uncle Hicky", he said with a little salute and a lopsided grin that made him look like a miniature version of Mulder.
"Alright then, Will", Frohike said, relenting.
Byers frowned, looking between Langly and Frohike, unconvinced. "I don't think this is a good idea guys. We weren't supposed to give him sugary foods after nine or else we won't be able to put him to bed".
Langly shrugged, sitting back down on the couch, seemingly convinced, he patted Byers on the back. "Don't worry man. Will here isn't a light weight. Right, buddy", he asked, nodding to the child.
William shook his head dramatically even though he wasn't sure what a lightweight even was. "No way, Uncle Langee".
Byers sighed relentingly. "Fine but if he doesn't go to sleep afterwards. I told you so".
William cheered, grinning widely between his uncles and the large pile of sweets. "Yaay. I'm gonna get high!".