AUTHOR'S NOTE: In a way, there's a Cereza in all of us. This character is like a teenage version of myself, but a lot more in-your-face and louder. Like her mother, I suppose. Feel free to leave a review! Rating has been changed to M for language!

Write on,

Cranberry Knight-XIII

.:THE WITCHING HOUR:.

II – Umbran Appetizer

My maroon Vans slapped against the cold pavement as my earbuds continued to dangle out of my ear, warranting an annoyed curse each time it happened. In one arm was my navy Hollister jacket draped over a precariously-balanced binder and my soccer bag in the other. Thirty seconds ago I was clucking my tongue to Nico Vega's "Beast" song (damn good song, let me tell you that) before a certain blonde-haired, blue-eyed boy trotted up next to me, his genuine smile made me want to slap him yet give him a brofist at the same time. He eyed my bundle and for a second I thought he was going to help me out.

Instead, he yanked the bud out of my right ear and lifted it close to his ear, listening closely. I rolled my eyes.

"Thanks, Ken. Really appreciate the help, buddy," I said sarcastically, pretending to narrow my eyes at him.

Ken – or Kenny as I liked to call him – looked over in surprise.

"The hell are you listening to?" he asked, throwing the bud back over. We were approaching the east wing stairs that led to the second floor of our high school. Our destination?

Hell.

In other words, English, but the words were synonymous at that point.

"'Beast, by Nico Vega...you know, BioShock Infinite trailer?"

"Screw that. Get Assassin's Creed II out," he demanded, laughing. I knew he loved the band and BioShock, so I wasn't inclined to kick him in the, er...chicken tenders, if you know what I mean.

Yup. We were both nerds. I was an otaku and he's…well…just a video game nerd, expert in the field of Assassin's Creed. Me? I specialized in anything nerdy and more interesting than the real world. Video games, anime, manga, whatever.

"Do you not see the mound of crap I have in my arms? You get it," I snapped back as we entered.

"Fine." I tipped the phone into his hands, waiting for a new song to start up. Immediately, the melancholy opening strings of "Ezio's Theme" started, and my mood dipped just a bit into somberness. It really was a beautiful song. Ken knew it, too.

"Seriously, Jesper Kyd is a freaking beast! Best video game OST out there," Ken proclaimed.

I snorted. "Yeah, if you forget that one series' themes that puts every other single track to shame: Final fucking Fantasy. 1-800-Take it, bitch!" I laughed, whipping my Lightning pendant in his face. The accessory hit the bridge of his nose and he recoiled, rubbing the red mark off.

"Goddamnit, Cereza," he muttered, annoyed, but unable to stop laughing at my tagline. "You know I can't do anything."

"Yeah, 'cause I'll kick your skinny white ass into next week," I crowed.

"Yeah, and I don't want your nasty dragon pet eating me alive, thanks!"

So there you have it. Kenny knew my secret, what I was. What I could do.

I'm a motherfuckin' Umbran Witch. Got a problem? Well, you can phone into my lovely mother. I'm sure she'll be happy to...how do us Americans put it? Oh, yes…

Bust a cap in yo' ass.

What did I say? 1-800-Take-It-Bitch!

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I freakin' love Cereza. She's like the teenage firecracker of her mother. So, in this AU story, Bayonetta is still in Europe, but shipped Cereza off to live with her father, Luka, in America. Specifically, Phoenix, Arizona. Now, she has to keep the city safe from pesky Angels with the help of one certain nerdy boy. And things just keep elevatin' from there!

Also, a reference to YouTuber "theRadBrad" is in here. Just 'cause.

I'm going to have so much fun writing this, I can already tell. Let me know if you want to continue it. As for the language, come on, they're teenagers. Let's not sugarcoat things, shall we? After all, Cereza's a "fucking celebrity in this town." So the rating has been cranked up to M to be on the safe side.

-Cranberry Knight-XIII