DISCLAIMER: I, waffles, do, waffles, not, waffles, own, waffles, the, waffles, fellowship, waffles.

Me: PIPPIN! Get away from my laptop!

WAFFLES!

Chapter too: WAFFLES and WOOFS!

Aragorn opened his eyes slowly…. And snapped them closed again when he heard pippin talking. He fought to lose himself in sweet, pippin-les sleep but he could not. He looked around the dungeon to see that the other members of the fellowship were suffering the same fate. Merry was singing crazily, Legolas looked like he was having, rather evil, thoughts about torturing hobbits and Gandalf, Frodo and Sam looked like they were going to burst into tears. It didn't help that Boromir, being a parrot, kept repeating EVERYTHING that pippin said.

Aragorn was straining at the ropes that tied him to the chair, hoping to get his hands over his ears or at least knock himself unconscious, when their fluffy-haired captor, Ashabi, walked in. The minute she walked in everyone was begging her to make Pippin shut up. She gave them a malicious grin, "I will continue to torture you with this until one of you surrenders to be my eternal servant." Legolas looked at her and decided to use every fangirl's and fanfiction's worst enemy, logic. "How could all of us become your eternal servants when not all of us are immortal?" Ashabi glared at him, "Because I'm awesome, and I have waffles." Suddenly Pippin stopped babbling and a crazed look came into his eyes. "Uh oh!" said Boromir. "Waffles?" whispered the demented midget," WAFFLES!" he shrieked. He began screaming and laughing manically, straining at his bonds.

Gandalf looked at the, very frightened, girl and said, "I will be your servant if you take me away from this demon," He indicated the now frantic Pippin, "What do you wish me to do?" Ashabi became as excited as a teenage girl could get when finding out that the most awesome ninja wizard that ever existed was under her control, "I was going to let you become my private magic teacher and come up with new spells but I had an assistant in mind for you to try new spells on and he has not agreed to my terms yet," she eyed Legolas evilly, "So instead you will be sent to… *insert dramatic music here* The unicorn farm!"

"Ok!"

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2 Hours l8r…

"THIS IS WHAT MY JOB IS!" screeched a very angry Gandalf, as he looked into the pit of evil, fire-breathing, razor-sharp fanged, pink, fluffy creatures. To make things worse, they were all singing "pink fluffy unicorns feasting on the souls of all things good and just" Ashabi smiled at him," Yep! Have fun!" she shoved him into the pit. Soon all that could be heard were the terrified screams of a person in terrible pain and the vicious roars, growls and giggles coming from the only creatures that even Morgoth feared, unicorns. There was also a good deal of bones cracking, claws ripping and agonised moans. *~#*~#*~#*~#*~#*~#*~#*~#*~#*~#*~#*~#*~#*~#*~#*~#*~#*~#*~#*~#*~#*~#*~#*~#*~#*~#*~#*

Back in the basement…

Somehow the fellowship had untied themselves, Gimli by using his horrible stench to scare the rope away, Merry by eating it and Legolas and Aragorn by using the power of swag 'cause they're awesome like that, and they had gagged a, still waffle obsessed, Pippin and were untying the others. Pippin was starting to get sick off being gagged. The fellowship looked up when they heard the door open. The girl skipped down the stairs happily… until she was ambushed by seven very annoyed men of various races. "Stop!" she shouted. They stopped, and then they saw Gandalf's staff. They had enough time to see the evil smile on her face before everything went black.

When they came to, they were clamped to the chairs with strange metal helmets on. Ashabi smiled when she saw the frightened looks that they were giving her, "The next stage of your torture is to watch this," she held up a Dora box set, "and you must answer every question or you will be given a mild electric shock." They all looked at each other, even in another universe Dora was known to be the most brain meltingly annoying person to ever exist.

4 hours l8r

"Swiper, no swiping! Yeah! He's gone. Now, can you find the mountain? Where is it?"

"Behind you." Chorused the exhausted fellowship, this was horrible! The only person who seemed to enjoy this was Boromir, who kept shouting out the answers very enthusiastically. Pippin was unconscious from the electric shocks, Sam was crying and Frodo was starting to wish that he had jumped into mount doom when he'd had the chance. Then the TV went blank. They heaved a sigh of relief, or in the parrot's case of regret, and waited for their captor. Suddenly Pippin regained consciousness, but instead of babbling like he normally did, he started barking. Ashabi walked down the stairs and untied him, saying things like "good boy! Come here!" which he did. She grinned at the remaining men, "Torture is concluded for today! And thank you for the new puppy!" then she left with Pippin crawling along beside her.

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REVIEW AND GANDALF WILL SURVIVE!

Tnx to the people who have already reviewed! And to one certain reviewer, thank you for your criticism, although it was not worded very kindly. If anyone wants to give advice, I would be grateful.

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