hey guys, i'm back again! to the guest who commented, just because it doesn't take place in the hp universe doesn't mean it's not an hp story, it's an au. also, i'm pretty much playing this by ear, chapter to chapter so here's to hoping it turns out alright in the end. and sorry that it's painfully american, my knowledge of british vocabulary is very limited. enjoy!
Sirius almost didn't show up. He wanted to call the Dean on her bluff - he hoped it was a bluff, he thought it was, but he couldn't be sure. And besides, though Sirius was reluctant to admit it, there was something about book boy - Remus - that intrigued him. It had been so, so long since Sirius had been unsettled, challenged, pulled out of his boredom.
And the most infuriating, exciting bit was that Remus seemed to know this too. He didn't flaunt it like Sirius tended to. But he had taunted Sirius in the Dean's office the night before. This boy was something new. So, on a Wednesday night, Sirius found himself in the library, pulling out a chair and sitting down.
"Wasn't sure you'd show. You're late," Remus said, without even looking up from his book. A new one from the party just two nights earlier. "It's fine," he said, closing the book and slipping it into his backpack, "we'll just go ten minutes after." Sirius wanted to protest, but lost his resolve when Remus had already started to move on. "So, you're failing U.S. History, Anatomy, Philosophy and American Lit. Since we're meeting every day, I figure we'll use each week day for a review of each class, and Friday through Sunday can be review."
Sirius shrugged. "Whatever you say, boss."
"So, today is Philosophy. You bring your book with you?" Sirius just laughed and shook his head. Truth was, Philosophy was the only class he actually had thought he might enjoy taking. He'd read Aristotle's Poetics for class in high school and liked it a great deal more than his friends had. And he thought that maybe he could get one worthwhile experience from this hellhole that accepted him only because his parents had donated.
It wasn't long after when he decided it was going to be all or nothing, so he gave up on all his classes, and that meant all his classes. So, Philosophy had to be sacrificed. Remus laid the book down on the table. After listening for two minutes of him reading from it, Sirius stopped him.
"How much did she pay you?"
"What?"
"I can double it. Say we did what she wanted and we can all call it day. How does that sound?"
"What? No."
"No?"
"Sirius, I take this seriously. You're not the only person I tutor, okay? If I mess up with you I won't be allowed to tutor anymore."
"So?" Sirius asked. Remus' face was turning red, now, and Sirius felt his pulse rushing with excitement.
"Some people actually need the money, Sirius, unlike you!" He stared at Sirius a moment longer, then looked down and away at his book. There was a tense moment of silence as Sirius collected his thoughts.
"I didn't know, sorry."
"It's fine. I didn't tell. Let's just… get back to studying, alright?" Sirius nodded, confused for a moment by his sudden burst of guilt. "What do you know about Socrates?" Sirius shrugged again, already bored.
"I don't know. Isn't he the one who was ordered to be executed?" There was a pause as Remus studied him, so Sirius continued. "And then the executioner left the door intentionally open so he'd leave and never come back, but he took the poison anyway."
"Yes. Based on your marks, I'm surprised you remembered that," Remus said, running a hand through his hair. Sirius made a noncommittal hum, and tore his eyes away from him. "Well, anyway, Socrates said that self-knowledge can only come about through examining yourself in the mirror of self-consciousness."
Sirius tilted his head, scooting his chair closer to Remus so he could see the book better. He stared at the words for a bit, considering them, swallowing them, mouthing them to see how they would feel on his tongue. And when he looked back at Remus, he thought he saw the ghost of a smile. He pushed his chair away, further than it was before the session.
"Remus! Sirius! How goes it?" Behind him, Sirius could hear the unmistakable voice of James. He saw James flinch, mouthing an apology as the red-haired librarian shushed him. "Hitting the books, are we?" He turned to Sirius. "You're lucky. This one pulled me through trig last semester."
Remus spun around in his chair, facing James. "We're a bit busy, you know," he said, annoyed. Except he wasn't, really. This was a look Sirius hadn't seen on Remus yet. A certain type of fondness, amusement. He really did smile, then, a reluctant, close-lipped one, but a smile all the same.
"Right. Yes, of course. I just had to see it. My roommate and my best mate. Together at last. I've always thought you two would be good together!"
"James…"
"Oi! Potter. What about libraries don't you understand?"
"Sorry, Evans, I'll be out of your hair," James laughed. She pointed a warning finger at him, and then smiled, seemingly losing her resolve.
"Remus, keep better control of him for me?"
"Sure thing, boss," Remus replied. Sirius studied them. He'd been friends with James since the first day, but he'd never really gotten close with anyone else. These three seemed like a proper friend group. Sirius hadn't seen that in ages. Really, the closest he got was his parents' monthly dinner parties, but there was always some layer of tension Sirius could never quite figure out.
Remus' voice jolted Sirius back into the present. "Sirius, let's get back to work, yeah? We've barely gotten anything done yet."
"Alright, then, I get when I'm not wanted," James said, faking a hurt expression while walking out. Sirius smiled. He was fond of James too.
"We should move on to your written assignments. I want you to read the third chapter for Friday, that way we can get more done," Remus instructed him.
"Hang on, you're my tutor? Shouldn't you be guiding me through this?"
"Maybe." Remus set his pencil down. "Maybe. But I think I've figured you out. Well, at least a little. Because you're smart, Sirius. Really smart, maybe. Your problem is that you just don't care. I can get you caught up, I can spell it out for you if I must, but I don't think it'll be of any use. The task, Sirius, isn't teaching you the material. It's making you want to learn."