disclaimer: I don't own anything
Anything for you -Evanesance
Clary enjoyed the ride back to the Institute. She got out of the cab when they reached the towering Gothic church. She was glad that the glamour was easier to see through, for her everything seemed to be easier for her now. Even fighting which she never would have thought she could ever even come to terms with. Just a few hours ago she slashed and killed a demon without a thought. Her world was changing so much.
She had an idea of why that was. She was pretty sure Jace was behind it. When he was around she felt so unsettled and self- conscious, but also so much more grounded. The world always seemed clearer in comparison to the murky mess of disguise and lies about her feelings for Jace.
She wanted him to know how badly she wished she could be with him. Sometimes she wanted him to just kidnap her and take them away. Anything so they could be together. She wished they would just accept the challenge that their relationship presented them. And yet she was sure she would never let him do that.
Every time they were together the feeling inside of her, the want, the need grew stronger. She tried not to think about it. She never let herself look at him for too long. Never let imagine herself trying to draw him. She knew he didn't feel the same way. He had made that much clear at Taki's.
"Clary, Clary!" Jace said snapping Clary out of her reverie, "We should go find Isabelle and Alec."
"Why?" asked Clary still not quite sure what they were talking about.
"We should tell their parents, and we should tell them. It's important that they know there is increased demon activity on the lower East side."
"OK we could check the kitchen, people generally congregate there." Clary suggested
"Sure," Jace started, "wait, first there's something I need to talk to you about." he added when she turned to walk away from him down the dark hallway to the kitchen.
Clary turned and followed him, without really knowing how they got there she and Jace were standing outside his bedroom.
He opened the door and waited for her to walk inside. She did so. As she walked in she was again struck by the spartan nature of his room. And yet the emptiness spoke volumes. She turned to find Jace standing a few feet behind her looking at her.
"Jace I-" Clary started
"No, wait just listen, what I said at Taki's, Clary it wasn-"
"Jace, don't please. I... I should go." she said her stomach clenching uncomfortably at his words and she turned toward the door and took a step though it felt impossible.
"Clary" Jace whispered he had quickly crossed the room and was holding her arm.
Clary felt as though everywhere his hand was touching her bare arm was on fire. She glanced up at his face not sure what to expect. She saw anguish and some other emotion in his eyes. They seemed darker in the dim light from the window.
"Clary I have to say this, I lied, it was wrong, but everything seems wrong now." Jace said quietly, almost as though he were confessing, "I know you feel the same way deep inside. It doesn't matter if you won't believe it yourself. This, us, that's what matters. It's all that matters to me right now. "
"Jace, it's not that I don't want to, I lied too. But it's so much more complicated."
"But it doesn't have to be Clary, don't you see?"
"Don't you? What would we do? What could we do? Keep it a secret? How long do you think that would last?" Clary asked exasperated.
"I just can't lose you. You are the only thing that makes sense anymore." Jace said staring at the floor."Just let yourself feel what you feel for once."
Then he bent his head down to hers, resting his forehead against hers. She felt her eyes flutter shut as she gave in to the intoxication of his closeness. He pulled back just an inch and moved his face to her neck.
"Clary, just let go, let this happen" he whispered as he rubbed his nose along her neck.
Clary kept her eyes closed as he worked his way back up to her jaw, her breath coming in gasps.
"Jace-"
"Clary I would do anything to get you to understand how much I need you." he whispered into her ear.
Clary couldn't feel anything, she was sure she had melted. And yet she was acutely aware of Jace's had on her back, and on her shoulder. They were warm and seemed to pull her deeper into the ecstasy.
"Jace-" she started again
His hands cupped her face and he cut her off with his lips upon hers. It was as she remembered kissing him. The pure exhilaration. She kissed him back as his arms circled tighter around her holding them together.
Finally he pulled away. When she opened her eyes she found his golden eyes watching her.
"See, I knew you felt the same way," he said before kissing her again.
Not sure I like this chapter... the next two are way better
please review!
