I was in the 4th grade the first time I tried to send a letter back to my father. For our English class, we were supposed to write a letter to one of our parents. I chose him. I'd received my annual birthday card a few weeks prior, so he was still fresh on my mind. When I got home from school that day, I asked mom if we could send it to him and see if he'd respond. I thought that he'd be happy to get a letter back from me, because then he'd know that I was thinking about him.

Mom didn't like the idea too much (I didn't understand why until I was much older), but she finally said yes. I had her address the envelope and put a stamp on it before running it to the local post office. I must have waited for at least a week, looking out the window for the mail truck.

Then it arrived.

I was ecstatic when I saw the mail truck stop and deposit a white envelope in the mailbox. I ran to it and pulled it out, but it wasn't a reply. It was the same letter, with a yellow notice on it. "RETURN TO SENDER - NOT DELIVERABLE AS ADDRESSED - UNABLE TO FORWARD."

The day that I got that letter back, I had checked and rechecked the address, compared it to all of the cards I'd received, and I remember feeling a sense of confusion and frustration and something else I couldn't name. Now I felt it again, creeping up my spine when I saw the enormous building looming in the distance. The car hit another bump, causing me to hit my head on the glass window. Ms Pauling was driving, and she didn't seem to have any reservations when it came to speed. Then again, with her job, you probably couldn't afford to be late.

I put a hand up to shield my eyes from the sun. "Is that it?"

"Mhm! RED base. Now, before we get there, do you know what you're supposed to do?"

"Yes ma'am," I lied. Ms Pauling had tried to explain everything to me, but it was so much to take in at once, and I still didn't have any idea what I was doing. Maybe it would come to me later.

"Good!" She seemed relieved. "Your stuff should have arrived earlier today, someone will show you to your room. If no one offers, ask for Spy, he'll take you."

I nodded, and everything was quiet again. All I could do was watch as the building got closer and closer. Within a few minutes, we were there. It was even more intimidating up close, and I began to wonder if I made the right decision.

Ms Pauling turned off the car a few yards from the gated entrance. "This is where I let you off. The gate should be unlocked. Do you have any questions?"

I did, but none of them seemed important enough to mention, so I said no. She opened the driver's side door, and I followed suit, standing at the back of the car while she opened the trunk and handed me my bag. Once I had it situated, she shook my hand. "Good luck. I'm not going to tell you it'll be easy, but I'm sure you'll do fine." She rummaged around in her pockets, pulling out a slip of paper. "If you need anything, call this number, I'll try to help you out."

Smiling a bit, I folded up the paper and put it in my pocket. "Thank you Ms Pauling."

"No problem. Just don't give that number out to anyone else, I just had it changed, I don't want 9 people trying to call me at the same time."

"I understand."

Ms Pauling waited to pull off until I was in the fenced in area. I spared a few moments to watch her leave before walking up to the entrance of the base. I tried to look around and get a feel for the area, but I was too nervous to really take it in.

I didn't really know what to expect. My father had briefly described his teammates in his journals, and he had mentioned that the opposing team was startlingly similar to his own, but he never really said much about RED. Every now and then he'd write down something he found out about them, some little idiosyncrasy he found interesting, but that knowledge wouldn't really help me out in this situation. As I walked through the entranceway, I paused, peeking my head back outside. I could have sworn I saw something out of the corner of my eye. I shook my head.

Probably nerves.