"Holy fuck!" I cried as we appeared in the wildness near where I'd died. I stumbled and fell onto my knees, gasping for breath. Kakarot stood there, looking at me in concern. I couldn't believe how fast we'd moved – almost at the speed of light – and I was now shocked beyond belief. No person could have possibly moved that fast unless they knew the Yardrat technique or Instantaneous Movement… "What the fuck was that?" I demanded of my little brother. He smiled at me (which was kind of creepy).
"I used Instant Transmission!" he said. I remembered that that was the name of the Yardrat technique, and I wondered when he'd ever gone to Yardrat. The Ginyu Force, last I'd known, had been going to destroy Yardrat while Frieza had been heading to Planet Namek for whatever reason. I didn't try to delve into their affairs; it'd probably be far too confusing for me.
"Okay then…" I said. I stood shakily, and Kakarot tried to help me. However, something in me snapped. "DON'T TOUCH ME!" I screamed, and Kakarot jumped backwards in shock. I took in a few ragged breaths, and he took a few steps forwards, his hands outstretched. "Don't come any closer… please," I pleaded. He stopped and looked at me with a confused expression.
"Raditz, I'm not going to hurt you," he said, trying to calm me. I believed him, but I wasn't worried about that. I knew he wouldn't hurt me; he was a kind and gentle Saiyan, something that could only emerge from severe head trauma or from a very rare birth oddity.
"I'm not worried about that, believe me," I said carefully. He seemed to understand.
"Then why are you worried?" he asked carefully.
"I'm not worried. That's the thing. I hurt you pretty badly – almost killed you – and tried to capture my nephew… I've done bad things – horrible things – that I can't forget. I can't redeem myself for them, either. I don't want to be a part of your life, Kakarot; I'll cause you nothing but pain," I said without taking a breath. Kakarot was silent for a few minutes. Then he took a few steps towards me, seemingly not caring that I didn't want him to approach me. He placed his hand on my shoulder – a gesture so similar to Dad's back at the Check-In Station – and looked me dead in the eyes.
"That's not true, Raditz," he said. I frowned.
"What's not true? What I've said?" I asked. A tear escaped from the corner of my eye and trailed down my cheek, and I wiped it off with my thumb. "It is, Kakarot. I shouldn't have done that to you and Gohan," I quietly said, turning away. His hand fell to his side.
"Raditz, we've given you a second chance at life. Please don't hurt yourself this way. Please," Kakarot said, and I turned my head so that I could just see his face. He looked miserable, and I felt horrible just looking at his face. Everything I'd done to him – the guilt I felt from all those years ago – was fresh in my mind. I didn't understand how he'd managed to forgive me, either; that made it about thirty billion times worse.
"I can't help it," I said simply.
"What do you mean?" he asked, confused at my statement. I shrugged.
"Saiyans tend to repress their emotions. We keep everything locked away inside. Although, as you've probably realised while living on this little planet, that's kind of bad," I explained, hoping that I could make him understand without actually telling him. No dice. Kakarot didn't appear to understand the explanation I'd given him. Shit. "I'm keeping all my pain inside. I'm not trying to burn off steam."
"Don't do that!" Kakarot exclaimed, and I flinched backwards. "Please don't do that!" he cried, grabbing my arm (in the exact same spot that Dad and King Vegeta had grabbed really tightly), causing me to yelp. He immediately let go. "Are you hurt?!" he asked, concerned. I rubbed my arm.
"No, not really. It's just a bit sore," I said nonchalantly. Kakarot frowned at me, but before he could say anything he flinched and looked towards the sky. I followed his gaze, but was unable to see anything, so I looked back at my little brother with a worried expression. Suddenly a ki blast hit the ground near me, and I barely dodged in time. I heard Kakarot call out with worry, trying to stop the attack… and then I heard the voice of the young man who, when he'd been just a young boy, had severely injured me due to the release of a hidden power.
A hidden power that had now been unlocked, I realised.
"Gohan, stop, please! You don't understand!" my brother yelled as his son landed. Gohan had definitely grown up. He looked much different, and he was now missing his tail. Was it Earth custom to remove the Saiyans' tails or something?
"Don't understand what, Dad? That my homicidal uncle – who, I might add, tried to kill you and kidnap me – is back from the dead?!" the half-Saiyan yelled. His words stung, for they were painfully true, and I quickly suppressed the guilt that surged through me, knowing that it would come back to haunt me later.
"No! He's not that way anymore!" Kakarot exclaimed, and I wondered what he meant. If he meant that I was no longer evil, then he was actually correct. I was more guilt-ridden than evil now; I didn't want to kill my brother. That had been a stupid move anyway. "Please, listen to me!"
Gohan looked like he was about to fire another ki blast, but at the last minute I saw the ki blast disappear. Gohan's hand fell, and he looked at me with his dark Saiyan eyes. I flinched. Gohan's eyes had an intensity that even elite Saiyans would be frightened of. They were the eyes of a warrior who'd seen his comrades die in battle many times. To be honest, they were the eyes that many Saiyans came back with after missions, when they were the only survivors of their squadrons or teams.
"Dad… I think we need to tell everyone else," Gohan said then. I wondered what he meant by 'everyone else' but Kakarot seemed to understand. He didn't react too well. He actually stood in front of me, and Gohan's eyes widened. "I'm not threatening him, Dad. What's wrong?" he asked. I realised.
"Vegeta's here on Earth, isn't he?" I asked. Kakarot nodded. Great. Fucking wonderful.
"Dad… he's probably already sensed us. C'mon, we'll take Uncle to Capsule Corporation and see what happens then. I'll fetch everyone while I'm at it; I think all the Z-Fighters should know," Gohan said. He sounded quite a lot smarter than Kakarot, but that was probably due to the fact that he'd actually had some semblance of schooling, whereas Kakarot hadn't.
After a brief hesitation, all three of us flew off. I trailed behind Kakarot, a bit concerned about the fact that Vegeta was living on the planet. I was terrified of him; he was way stronger than I could ever hope to be! But, like I'd always been taught, I suppressed the emotion again. This was definitely going to come back and bite me on the ass later. I was building a catalyst inside of me, I could tell. Back when I'd been dead, I was fairly certain Dad was able to tell too. That probably explained why he'd been so careful when he spoke around me; Saiyans were deadly when they were set off.
While we were flying, I realised that Kakarot and Gohan were taking me directly to a human city, so I stopped, shocking them both. Saiyan instinct welled up inside of me, but I didn't want it to take over. I fought against it. The instinct to kill fought against my will to allow the humans to live. I didn't want to kill them; that would make me seem like a monster again.
"Fight it, Raditz," Kakarot said carefully. He knew I was fighting it, but I was beginning to lose. It was an instinct that had been born from generations of murder and bloodshed; Saiyans had killed entire civilisations for as long as any of us could remember. It was in our genetic coding to kill. "Don't let that monster consume you," my little brother urged. I struggled silently, and finally I repressed the instinct. It had taken a lot of my energy, but I was relieved that I'd managed to put the beast in its place… for now, anyway. We began to fly again, but due to the lack of energy I started losing my ability to fly.
Shit, this wasn't good.