En Su Bolsillo
If she didn't have a thing for her, then why Eli had the heart attack on her over everyone else?
Never in her life had Eli dated a client of hers. To correct the term, had she ever had a fling? Yeah, multiple times actually… but those had never been with any of her own clients. Professionalism was her prime regimen, and she was the most proficient attorney anyone could ever ask for—clever, competent, domineering, driven; the ultimate alpha wolf in her field and among serial one-night stand-ers across the territory. That is, until this particular client—who had trespassed on this sacred mountain on her hiking trip—turned her world upside down.
Umi… that was it. Sonoda Umi.
A young woman with tough looks and cinnamon eyes. A young, innocent foreigner who ended up as her client because the trespassing she did was purely unintentional. The hiking program she took was a fraud and she was too trusting to spot that. She didn't even know that Vottovaara was a strict ancestral mountain in Russia and was mature enough to know language barrier could be really scary sometimes.
Eli had no idea that a simple 'Can I join you?' from her, during her personal coffee time one afternoon on a tumultuous workday, could be so… endearing. Only on the very first day, Eli was starting to lose the frontier as Umi's attorney. Her client was only two years younger than her, yet she looked like a stuffed toy. Why were her eyes so intense?
The tips of her ears flushed adorably at Eli's sugary words, lips stretching up disarmingly and Eli thought that Umi really had such a pretty smile—one she kind of wanted to see more.
Apparently, Umi didn't care about how well-known and wealthy Eli was. Umi demonstrated her metier and knowledge while Eli nodded correspondingly to her rambling about boots, backpacks, and whatever other hiking gears Eli wasn't interested with. It was duly noted that the first rule of flirting was lie. Lie all the time.
But Sonoda Umi... a giant, mountain dork at heart—that made her heart race like this—was completely unaware of it, and with who she was talking to, and of who Eli actually was. To say it in a cliché sense, Umi was one of a kind, like nobody else she ever knew. Passionate russet eyes moved something within her, something nonexistent before, and with that, Eli… Eli had wanted her since.
Months had passed by and one thing led to another until Umi ended up going on a romantic stroll with her for the umpteenth time near her beach house. When she turned around to now face her ex-client, Umi came into an abrupt stop.
"Now you have to pick. Right or left?"
"Playing a magic show, aren't we?"
Golden hair danced with the rhythm of the breeze, it was scintillating under the sunlight—and so was Eli's broad smile, with her both hands buried inside her pocket, she said,
"Just pick one."
Umi tilted her head, her features became skeptical and she gripped her own right wrist resolutely, feet fiddling with the beach sand as the prominence of her agitation. Umi got nervous easily, she had always been like that. Her Umi was always like that—at least Eli loved to think of her that way.
Drumming her hidden fingers in the business coat's pocket, Eli tried to keep a steady smile despite feeling the impatience slowly crawling up into her nerves. Not necessarily that it meant something bothersome, but because Eli was excited beyond measure of which Umi would pick. Eli had the tricks, of course, and Umi was going to be the first person to ever obtain something heartfelt from her.
"Come on, no more time to contemplate. It doesn't cost your life if you get the bad selection. Spoiler alert: both are attractive prizes."
Umi drew one of her brows up, it was incredibly cute. Eli sure loved playing games with her.
"I don't know. Right, maybe?"
"So, something in my left pocket?"
Umi just nodded and Eli wondered if she was beginning to regret her choice, just poking her own mind for fun.
"Okay, close your eyes."
And Umi did, as Eli snuck a white lily on her right ear, Umi's eyes opened up again when her fingers lingered gracefully over the strand of navy hair—God, she was so captivating, if only Eli could lose herself into those translucent, brown eyes… but she had gotten something to say.
"You're lily-white, Umi. You've changed my life with your purity and modesty. You've been so many things to me—exceptional is one of them." Eli poetized, lips ghosting above her lover's, and a chaste kiss unified them, Eli exhaled weakly when Umi looked at her with that perpetual, profound gaze. "I'm glad that you didn't mind trespassing that mountain to bring yourself to me."
The younger woman blushed and Eli couldn't figure out whether it was from embarrassment or shame, or probably both, but it was adorable regardless, and Eli never grew tired of it.
"Don't you wanna know what's on the right side?"
Eli asked softly and Umi only nodded for the second time. She pulled up a bunch of keys from her right pocket and hung it in front of the younger woman, Umi stared at it without any further reaction, completely stupefied.
"Eli…"
"Move in with me, please." Eli said, there was a sheer of desperation in her breathless voice, hoping Umi didn't notice that—didn't notice how badly she wanted her. "Let's build a home together."
Umi interweaved their hands with the keys burrowed in between, coddling her with a tender kiss and a 'Yes, let's make it happen.' in a way Eli wouldn't forget for a lifetime.
So the next day Umi had assigned everything she needed into Eli's architectural house, palpably unlike the hiker's previous place that nestled in the wild, with a calming river and a rocky mountain. In here, Eli would introduce Umi to the bright blue sky, to the bay, and to the ocean. They swayed by the night, Eli could see the starlights harmonized with Umi in the background when the dark blue haired woman was on top of her, straddling her with the ferocity to touch and feel her… for that Eli had made love to her the first time.
And that was two summers ago.
Eli smiled vaguely at the memory, thumb brushing on something inside the pocket of her black denim jacket. Umi and her would usually laugh at how uncomfortable it was actually their first time had kindled on the beach, with the crude sand stuck on their skin, and the chilling wind made them shiver—or did that come from their fierce battle of intimacy? Really they couldn't tell. It had become something to cherish on to for the most part.
She put her hands on the steering wheel, stepping on the accelerator, drove her way to her mission.
Nothing lasts forever.
Eli thought, on the day Umi decided to move out from her beach house they had shared for a year.
I'm unhappy here, Eli. You have to—
"—let me go." Eli cursed the rest of the sentence with broody voice. She was sick and tired with the 'All good things must come to an end.' words of wisdom, wishing she could exterminate that nonsense from this universe, so that she could possess the happily-ever-after ending with the woman who owned her heart.
Ayase Eli, twenty nine years old, with a successful job and an insane amount of prestige—in as long as she lives until today never imagined having a commitment—is finally ready to settle in for a domestic life, write up the peak of romance into a fairytale, and maybe adopt kids. But reality has shattered that dream like a brick being crushed into fire clay.
The golden haired woman let out a chuckle, a pathetic one, she had almost forgotten that she and Umi had a lot in common, for the most obvious part that both of them were extremely ambitious on something they were passionate about.
Eli would do anything to win even the most foul of a case for the sake of triumph. She was highly professional, moral dilemma was out of the question—and so would Umi for nature, even if it meant to sacrifice herself.
Fuck reality.
She respected Umi's final decision to walk out from her grand-filthy rich house, to a place where she could reunite with Mother Nature once again, to abide its breath and pulse while practicing Kyudo and Kendo, as she would. It is not until Umi showed her determination and announced her stance on being on the top of the world; the Mount Everest summit.
Eli remembered clearly Umi promised everyone—promised her—that she would come back with that glory a world adventurer could dream—would come back to her and regard her as the end of her journey.
—but she never did.
It was Eli's third bottle of liquor that morning, she couldn't even comprehend herself she was that miserable. One month sleeping without Umi by her side after she left, and another three with her thinking Umi might had already been dead. Eli couldn't do anything right. Her fundamental job, her basic needs to eat, wash herself, and sleep—she simply had stopped living normally after the news of Umi's sudden disappearance reached her ears, and she thought she might kept doing that for the next few years. Or until the day she stopped breathing, even. Because Ayase Eli had died along with her Umi.
Eli ignored the furious speech Nozomi had been giving her in the last few minutes, clearly forgetting the presence of her friend, a friend she and Umi had met through. The busty woman's voice was fuzzed down with the excessive alcohol that was working in her systems.
"Elicchi, are you even listening?!"
Eli snapped back into reality as Nozomi used a harsher tone. The whole office room was spinning but she still could see Nozomi's deep turquoise eyes looked at her with pity, sorrow, and revulsion mixed in as one. If anybody else saw Eli being a big incompetent mess like this, she was sure she would be a laughing stock by now.
"I said the court approved the petition to have her legally declared as deceased. We—"
"No! S-She can't be dead." Eli choked, her throat stinging with affliction, fighting off the tears. "It's only been three months since she went missing. Neither the judge nor the petition are eligible to—"
"Elicchi."
"—and time has nothing to do with it. They haven't gone thoroughly with her legal records. How could the national database and autho—"
"Eli! Stop!"
Nozomi barked, Eli thought she must be acting nuts if Nozomi didn't call with her usual pet name but God, it was hard… it was so hard to function like a capable human being with the thought of someone she wanted to see the most leaving her for the rest of her life.
"I'm sorry Elicchi, I'm so sorry. In such extreme altitude, where she was last seen, it's not called the death zone for nothing. Normally people that are above 26,000 feet will die in about twenty four to forty eight hours from greater risks possible. You know it, I— we've discussed this before. It is the deadliest mountain she's gone to, Elicchi, and I-I'm sorry, I truly am sorry—" Nozomi broke down at her own words, Eli didn't know if she cried for Umi, or for her, or for herself—that she couldn't bring Umi with her as they tried to escape from the frozen colossal. "I-I just don't want to see you like this anymore. Everybody has talked about having a funeral at this point."
Nozomi's clogged sobs looping in her buzzing head, Eli didn't give up hope on Umi.
She never did. She would never.
And that monumental span of grief still haunted her to this day.
Eli closed her teary eyes tightly, sitting silently in the driver's seat, hands trembling with unforgotten past. She jolted when her cell phone rang all of a sudden, she could see a droplet of her sadness ponded on the screen.
Incoming call, Umi. Answer. Decline.
Eli picked up her phone.
"—Eli. Why don't you come in? How long have you been outside?"
"U-Umi. I've... I—" Her throat scratched, voice clearly hoarse and she swore she could feel Umi frown on the other side, on the second floor, as she tried keeping herself together. She was glad the window film was eluding Umi from seeing her cry. "Sorry I was just on the line with someone. Work call."
"Oh, I see..." The younger woman sounded disappointed but immediately was brushed away. "I'll be down in a minute."
The call was over and Eli wiped her tears with the back of her hand. She waited for Umi to enter the car with looming anguish.
Eli was so astounded that she might get cardiac arrest the second she heard the report that Sonoda Umi had been found.
Alive.
She instantly fled to Nepal, to Umi, to see her again, touch her, and kiss her, and sway with her by the ocean, under the brilliant moonlight—and never let her go.
Her adrenaline was thundering deafeningly as she opened the patient room and came across with Umi, lying motionless on the hospital bed, tubes and needles were all planted in her pale body.
"Umi!"
Eli shrieked, dashing to her side. Umi didn't reciprocate or acknowledge her right away and for a brief moment Eli thought she was probably unconscious.
"Eli..." She looked at her with dimmed eyes, her voice so weak Eli had to scoot closer to her, the smell of drug and medicinal odor was more potent in that distance. "You're here."
The older woman carefully wrapped her in an embrace, clutched her back—urging her feeble body into hers to make sure if Umi was real and radiating warmth, and that she was still breathing. She hoped Umi didn't mind the gesture. "No, it's you. You're here." Eli retorted with quivering sobs while in a shaky state. "I-I thought you were— n-no. I was convinced that you could have been dead, oh God, Umi…" her teardrops flowed down her cheeks, Eli allowed herself to confide all her pain, "I never gave up on you. I told them all you couldn't be dead. I think they forget how strong you are."
Umi was panting against the crook of her neck, blubbering harder than ever—it almost seemed like Umi was struck by a sudden realization in spite of her semi-conscious condition. When Eli retracted herself to face the other woman, the white thermal blanket slid down to reveal Umi's amputated left arm, under the elbow which her forearm and her hand were gone.
A loud sob hitched and Eli looked back at the source, at Umi who was crying profusely with despondent expression and guilty eyes. "E-Eli— I-I'm sorry..." Umi clenched the remaining fist she had. "I'm very sor—"
"No, no! Please, no! Don't say anything, please..." Eli engulfed the younger woman into her arms again and Eli resented herself. Resentful at how could Umi be at fault when it was her who was powerless on this depressing bed with a missing limb. "It's okay, Umi. I'm here, you're here. That's all that matters. Please don't die on me, p-please, promise me you won't leave me ever again."
Eli cooed in a garbled manner that made Umi feel as if the older woman was begging for her life. Umi secured her arm around Eli's shoulder, nuzzling against the blonde's lukewarm cheek so she could murmur the minstrelsy heart to heart.
"I promise."
They stayed like that for a while, sealing each other's presence with faith of what the future holds. Eli breathed in the midnight blue hair she had missed, its scent smelled like a revelation, like a dream come true, like home.
It was so nice to be back home again.
And she wanted to preserve that in this mortal life despite the unlikelihood.
Now Eli was out on a leisurely walk with her long returned soulmate side by side, who was wearing a white beach dress and staring at her with a concerned look, like she could sense her iron grip through her flesh-made, transradial prosthesis. Somehow Eli wished she couldn't… because clarification was the next part that could be expected from her.
"Eli, you've been acting very... weird. You want to tell me why?"
Eli was already used to those scrutinizing light brown eyes so she wasn't apprehensive to shake her head. "No, it's nothing."
This time Umi shifted her expression into a tiny scowl. "What? Did you get a murderer away from their crime last time?"
Nice execution, the blonde chuckled, supposingly Eli's sarcasm had grown on Umi after all. It was good to watch Umi nudging her with that from time to time.
"Eli," the smile had slightly subsided with a small tuck on the corner of Umi's mouth, automatically holding them down from their saunter, "talk to me."
Eli slowly turned her vision toward the sea, the same soothing waves and night panorama she and Umi waltzed to every summer, her loose striking blonde hair swayed with the wind. She had subscribed all her philosophy to actions speaking louder than words when it came to Umi, unlike in the court where all she did was make a long list of speeches, confrontation, and debate—she didn't want to be that person when she was with Umi. However, the irony was present now as she was being requested to open up her mouth.
"To be honest, I'm not sure if I can bear seeing you leave for Elbrus tomorrow."
The sigh coming from the shorter woman was audible, Eli was sure of Umi ending up getting angry at that, but she didn't. "Eli... how many times should I remind you I'm merely there to supervise the visitors?"
"I know, I know." Eli replied facing her lover, holding both of her hands firmly. "What if, somehow, you are obligated to climb while you are there?"
"Can't you look at yourself? You're getting irrational." Umi landed her gaze on her synthetic arm. "I cannot do that anymore in this… condition."
Great, you're a dumbass, Ayase. You shouldn't have made her say that. "O-Oh Umi— I didn't mean that, I'm sor—"
"Don't apologize, Eli. I understand." Her arms were guided around Umi's waist as she got pulled along into pressing their bodies close, Umi's breath was hot on her neck and a gentle kiss touched her skin, Umi was too good for her own good Eli didn't deserve her kindness. "I'll be back in a week, okay? I'll come back to the beach house and we can go stargazing on the rooftop again, like we did earlier." Umi traced a lone finger along her sharp jawbone. "Stop acting like a child and trust me."
Eli was certain Umi must be thinking she was cute when she got worried sick while on the other hand it was maddening for her how embarrassing her insecurity was—how absolutely she hated it.
"I didn't want to waste any time. When you were gone, I thought about what I would do if I had a second chance."
Umi repositioned herself to look at her anxious cerulean eyes. "What would you do?"
The older woman slowly distanced herself only far enough with both hands inside her pocket, that seemed causing Umi to realize this repeated specific scene.
"You have to find out."
"Playing with the old trick again?" Umi recalled with a smile. "I'm gonna have to choose left this time."
Eli dropped on her knee and withdrew her right hand from the pocket, gracefully raising Umi's left hand with it until the skin was in contact with her lips, imagining Umi could feel it through her prosthetic hand that she was wholehearted with the action, then she heard Umi's subtle giggle.
"So, this is like… nothing? What are you trying to show me?"
"Trying to impress you by being a gentlewoman?"
"Gentlewoman? You're so silly." Umi averted her look onto the other unrevealed mystery Eli had. "Should I be curious what's within the other pocket?"
"The best is yet to come." Eli smirked a little and kissed Umi's hand one more time. "Brace yourself."
Eli drew out the item from her left pocket, an indigo-colored jewelry box, and with a fluent flick of her thumb the box exposed its treasure—a silver ring with a pave set diamonds on the halo and along each side of the shank, highlighting the round cut center diamond, a deep blue sea diamond.
And Umi was speechless while looking at her, but Eli was quick to ease the shock. "Umi… I thought… oh gosh, if you had died and I didn't get to say 'goodbye' or 'I'm sorry', leaving everything so distant between us… it would have been worse than death."
The younger woman only stood there with rigid posture and an unreadable expression, Eli proceeded with what she had to say.
"Sonoda Umi... will you marry me?"
A pregnant pause passed and Umi unexpectedly yielded a single tear trailing down her cheek. Eli arose from her position as Umi swept the wetness off of her face.
"Umi… I want you to be mine..."
Eli muttered faintly and almost inaudibly, with so much intensity of wanting to claim her breath—which gradually became unstable until Umi moved at her words. A step or two toward her and Eli didn't know how to keep herself sane when Umi finally reached her—she was that in love with her.
In a swift motion Umi placed an eager hand behind her neck and pulled her to a kiss. Their noses bumped and with that Umi just angled her head farther, inviting Eli to open her mouth and brush her tongue most delicately. The hand on Eli's neck slipping to her smooth golden hair and Eli pulled the other woman even closer by the waist, they hummed under their breaths as they caressed each other passionately.
"Yes..." Umi purred against the kiss. "Yes, I will marry you, Eli."
Eli slid the ring on Umi's finger after a moment of cooling down, they stared for a few heartbeats at the ring—racing and pounding—and laughed along giddily when they did, going through the motions of two people so caught up in each other... so in love, so perfect together.
The feeling of two hands sneaking inside her pockets made Eli scrunch her forehead, looking at Umi with a puzzled face. "Umi, what are you doing?"
Umi let out a half-suppressed laugh, she was so beautiful like that Eli totally wanted to kiss those sweet lips again. "Just checking if you have something more in your pockets."
"I've given all my dedication to you." Eli stroked Umi's fringe with affection. "I have nothing left to give." And pecked Umi's bangs. "But I will again, from this day and forth, of what life would bring me."
While her logic was telling her that this peak of happiness would be temporary, Eli didn't mind it. Especially not when Umi decided to capture her lips again with their hands interlaced impeccably inside her pockets—the pockets which she hid her true love. She would not have it any other way. At least, at the back of her mind, she knew that her love for Sonoda Umi was eternal.
Notes:
"En Su Bolsillo" is a Spanish phrase meaning, 'Inside her pocket'.