Okay, so here is chapter 2, and I'm working on chapter 3. Thank you for all the reviews on the first chapter! I know you've heard this dozens of times but... It really means a lot to me.
Enjoy! :)
Hint: Things get intense as we discover the past.
Another hint: The title.
Breakdown
2 DAYS AGO.
Sam was searching the Internet for any information of where the whereaouts of Freddie might be. She felt like she was going insane. It's almost as if he dropped of the face of the earth.
Her face paled. What if he's dead? She thought.
No, it's impossible. It can't be. If he died she surely would've been invited to the funeral... Unless he killed himself.
Because of her.
Sam began to panic. He hasn't updated his splash face page in 5 years. Sam wasn't able to focus on her job anymore. She had this... Obsession. She had to see him, or at least hear his voice again.
She knows what she did to him. She knows that she made him go crazy for that summer. And she was sorry. She really didn't know that she was capable of making him delirious for a couple of the thing was that she wanted to leave. And she was glad she did. She gained a new best friend. Not that she ditched her first one. Carly was the one who told her about Freddie.
5 YEARS EARLIER.
Sam has just began her new business with Cat. What surprised her was that she liked it. A lot. There was something aout innocent kids that she liked. Their naive personality... The fact that they could play without a care in the world... Their faith, kids always had faith in Sam. They looked up to her, the same way she used to look up to her mother... Before things went sour.
And then there are the kids who don't fit into that category. She has to admit sometimes she can't stand being with them, but they really wern't that bad to control. Misbehaved kids acted out for a reason. She knew, she was one of them.
Just when Sam was going to hit the sack, her new cell phone ringed.
She took it out and gave out a long sigh. Unknown number. It was a client.
She liked the kids, but she never said she liked anything about the parents.
She pressed the speak button as she reminded herself the way she was suppose to pitched her voice higher to make herself sound perky.
"Hello this is Sam from Sam and Cat's how may I help you?"
The person on the other side if the phone let out an ear peircing shriek.
"Oh my god Sam! I can't believe I found you! It's Carly."
"How did you get my number? I demanded, surprised.
"Pure luck actually. I dialled the wrong number! But who cares about that. My gosh Sam. Where are you?"
Sam paused. Should she tell her? It's not like she's going to drop whatever she's doing in Italy and come rushing to find her. She was just concerned. Right?
"California. Look Carls, I'm sorry but I had to start over. It was hard being in Seattle without you around."
"I don't care what you thought was best for you. I can't believe how inconsiderate you are!" She said angrily.
"Hun?" I asked.
"You broke him Sam!"
"What are you talking about?" I lied.
I knew exactly who she was talking about.
"Don't act clueless with me Sam! You left him all alone. I visited last week ... And I find out that you left?! Freddie is a complete mess.
My heart ached. He is?
I remained silent.
"He's not sleeping, he won't respond to me, he never looked at me in the eyes. I Don't even really know if he registered that I was there! He just stared out the window, as if he was waiting for you to come back. I'm worried about him Sam."
"He's a big boy, he can handle himself."
"I don't think you understand the severity of this. Sam?"
"Yes?" I mumbled weakly.
"We had to take him to the hospital. He's been diagnosed clinically depressed."
I felt like I was punched in th gut. What? No. NO! This can't be happening... I-I-I...Sam you monster!.
I couldn't think straight.
"Carls, I'm sorry I have to go."
"No Sam wait, you have to liste-" I hung up.
I stayed there stunned for five minutes.
I picked up my phone again, and pressed redial, realizing that I cut her off purposly, even though I wanted to know more.
"Hello? Carly? Look I'm sorry. I love him okay? He has to know that I'm okay."
"Then go over there and go tell him that."
"I can't!" I wailed.
"Why not?"
"Because it's too hard. It hurts Carly."
It's not my fault that it's difficult to believe the one you love's claim of affection, when he's been ignoring and discriminating me for the past few months.
"He's treated me like shit, Carly. He acts as if I'm not even there! It's not my problem that he goes insane and realizes he loves me just becuase I leave him... I can't just skip over and tell him 'I love you' and expect everything to be bolivian bacon and glazed ham! What do you think we're in? Full House? I wanted to go!"
"Look," Carly sighed, "I don't care if you don't go out, or become a couple. Just go over there and tell him that you care. And that you're okay."
"Why can't you tell him that?" I whined.
"Because he won't listen to me. I tried!"
"Well then try again!" I argued.
"Sam I'm scared for his life. I'd be in Seattle in a heartbeat if I had the money for another plane ticket."
"Carly I have to stay here, but I'll buy you the plane ticket. I have money at the moment. Tell him I love him. Tell him I'm okay."
Carly groans in fustration.
"No."
"Carly...Please, for me." I pleaded.
"Okay, okay... I'll do it."
"Thank you, Carly."
I glanced at my watch.
"I actually really have to go. It's really late here."
"Oops! I forgot about the time difference." Carly giggled, "I'm sorry if I kept you from sleeping."
"You better be." I muttered. "Bye Carly... We'll stay in touch."
"Bye Sam. I miss you."
"Wait! I just have one request. Don't tell him where I am. Please."
Carly sighed once more.
"Alright Sam. Goodnight."
By the end of the summer, apparently Freddie's health improved remarkably . But then she lost contact. Carly wasn't sure where he went. He disappeared. And we havn't heard from him since.
NORMAL POV. SAME DAY. (2 DAYS AGO)
Sam was stumped.
Every time she typed his name on the search engine she either found that abandoned slap face page, or the old link to iCarly's homepage. She was stuck.
She studied the photo. As If it would give her any clues as to where he is now.
It was a casual picture. Just the two of them smiling at each other on the couch in his mom's apartment. Wait a minute...His mom's apartment! She figured out how to find him. She quickly dialled the memorized phone number.
"Hello?"
"Hi, mrs. Benson it's me, Sam."
"Oh, hello Sam. What's the reason for your unexpected call." She says bluntly while being able to remain polite.
She rambled off some odd unbelievable story. Perfect for mrs. Benson.
"... So then I had to give the guy my phone in order to keep him from harassing me."
Which, If you knew Sam, would be highly impossible. But she took the bait without any suspicion. Marissa was a sucker for sad stories.
"Oh you poor thing. I couldn't imagine what I'd do if I were in that situa-"
She cut her off.
"So um, I got a new phone, but the thing is that all my contact information from Freddie was on there. So I was wondering if you could give me his address and phone number?"She asked hopefully.
She held her breath. It sounded like she was about to cry.
Oh no. He's dead. She immediately thought.
"Um, Mrs. Benson are you okay?"
There was a horribly long pause.
"Yes, it's just that I miss him."
Sam squeezed my eyes shut. This couldn't be happening.
"I only hear from him 3 times a week."
...Wait what?
"Oh. That's uh, is, um... Too bad." She sputtered out.
"Yes, Samantha of course I'll give you his information. Hold on a sec."
Sam could hear her rummaging through some papers.
So Freddie was Alive. She was so happy, that she didn't even care that Mrs. Benson called her by her full name.
She gave her his phone number and address. But she still had one last question to ask her.
"Aren't you mad at me?" I asked hesitantly.
"Why would I be?" She said surprised.
"Because Freddie became depressed when I left." I explained.
"Oh, he wasn't upset about you," She said rather calmly,"he was still upset over carly. So, of course it went away when she came to visit.
Yeah... Sure. Obviously his mother didn't realize the condition of Freddie's mental state that summer. Which was odd, usually you'd expect nurses to find out about those things.
"I also think he was just having some second thoughts on his post secondary education choice," she continued,"he wanted to go to Seattle community, but I thought that was such a silly idea when he was offered a scholarship at M.I.T. His mood swings went away by the time he moved though."
M.I.T! M.I.T? That wasn't that far away!
She thanked Mrs. Benson, left a note for Cat and quickly packed a suitcase.
Sam was going to Massachusetts.
NORMAL POV. PRESENT DAY.
Eventually, the rain let out and Freddie had returned back to his dorm room.
The party was in full swing... So he quickly left again.
He found himself wondering around campus until he ended up at his favourite professor's classroom.
To his surprise, the door was open, and professor Nichols was there. He looked up from his computer and smiled.
"Ah, Mr. Benson, how nice to see you at this hour on a Friday night." He teased.
"Um, Mr. Nichols, I need some advice." He admitted timidly.
"I'm guessing its not about your computer science finals next week?"
"No, not really," He smiled sheepishly, "but your the one I trust the most at this school. Do you mind if I sit down? It's kind of a long story..."
45 MINUTES LATER.
"...And so then, when she left I went insane."
"How so?" He asked, intrigued, with his favoirte pupils' past.
"I was diagnosed clinically depressed, along with temporary insanity for a couple months, But my friend helped me take my medication and I quickly regained my mental health."
"Do you remember how you acted?"
"I don't remember that summer at all to be honest. The funny thing is... I don't think I even applied here..."
2 DAYS AFTER SAM'S DEPARTURE
"...And make sure you vacuum Freddie's' ears every other day, give him lots of fruits and veggies, keep his pillows at a temperature 5 degrees colder than his normal body temperature, oh and remember to give him hi-"
Spencer turned his head from his sculpture. A chair made of stools.
"Mrs Benson, don't you have a train to catch?"
"Oh, yes. Yes I do. Well thank you Spencer again, for letting him stay here. I figured it might as well be a good idea to repaint the apartment when I was out of town for the summer... If only Freddie could come to the Mothers of teenage sons retreat..."
"You're welcome... And I'm positive Freddie would've had a horrible time if he went with you. Now go away. Err.. I mean, better get going. Bye." Spencer said rudely.
Freddie walked into Spencer's apartment shortly after she left.
Giving no greeting, he sat on the couch and stared at the black tv screen.
"Hey Freddie, do you want to help me with my new project?"
No reply.
"Okay, I never said you had to."
No reply.
"Freddie?" He turned around and glanced at Freddie. His hair was messy, and his eyes looked empty.
It was very Creepy. He barely even blinked.
"Why is the tv muted... Oh. Um Freddie? The tv is off. You're kind of staring at the tv, and it's creeping me out." Spencer complained.
No answer.
"Freddie! What's wrong? Are you deaf?" Spencer screamed.
Freddie flinched at his shrieking.
Spencer felt a little relieved. Okay, so he's not deaf... But he's not responsive either.
Then tears ran down his face.
Something was terribly has never seen that boy cry in his life.
"Freddie what's wrong?" He sat down beside him, and put a hand on his knee.
The boy lost it. He started sobbing.
"I lost her." He whispered.
"What? You lost who?"
"Sam. She's gone."
"What are you talking about?" He asked confused.
"She... left."
"Freddie you're going to have to talk to me in sentences." Spencer responded gently.
Life flashed back into his eyes.
"Sam left Seattle, and I don't know where, and she said that she didn't want me to find her. She left her phone, she left her laptop...she's gone. Forever. and I still love her, but she doesn't care!"Freddie screamed.
Freddie, not thinking clearly, forcefully knocked down Spencer's large sculpture, grabbed a couple stools, and chucked them at the wall.
They snapped in half.
Spencer stared at Freddie with alarm, cautiously thinking about what he should say next.
"I think you should sit down..." he said briefly touching his shoulder.
That set him off in a frenzy again.
"Don't touch me! I want Sam!" He shrieked, before his body shook and collapsed on the floor, bawling again.
It was seriously the most disturbing thing Spencer has ever seen in his whole life.
He sprints to his room to and retrieves his phone, takes out his international calling card, and punched the extension number before his little sisters'.
"Hello? Carly, it's me, Spencer." He rushed.
"Oh hi Spence! What's up?"
"Get the next plane home quick."
"Um... That might've been already done... Surprise! I'm at the airport."
"Oh thank god!" Spencer exclaimed.
"Spence... What's wrong?"
"It's Sam ...and Freddie."
"Oh good lord! Please don't tell me Sam's in prison."
"She's not." Carly sighed in relief.
"She's gone."
"What do you mean that Sams gone?" Carly panicked.
"She ran off... To who knows where. And Freddie... "
Carly held her breath. she knew how much he loved her.
"What about him?"
"Carly, Freddie's gone mental."
Carly let out a muffled cry.
"Get into a cab and come to the apartment. If nobody's home... We 're at Trouble Waters. He suddenly heard a loud crash. Carly winced on the other side of the line. Carly... When you see him. Be careful... he's violent."
Spencer unlocked his bedroom door and slowly approached Freddie.
He was breathing heavily. Sitting on the floor, his back pressed against their cooking counter.
The whole kitchen was a mess. There were pots and pans on the floor, broken plates and shattered glasses everywhere. The garbage can was knocked over, with their trash littered across the room.
When his eyes travelled back to Freddie. He freezed. The 18 year old looked dead again.
His lifeless eyes stared at the object in his hands.
His arms where covered in old chicken grease, used tissues and spaghetti pieces from his spaghetti tacos he ate last night. There was gum, broken taco shells, and chards of glass in his hair.
Now Spencer was no doctor. But he knew that Freddie had some sort of psychiatric problem, because he was holding the empty wrapper of the last fat cake Sam has eaten in his house.
Spencer dialled the three digit number and pressed the phone to his ear. He heard the operator's nauseating fake voice.
"911 what's your emergency?"
"Um, we need an ambulance at Bushwell plaza. My friend is experiencing an anxiety/ panic attack..."
PRESENT DAY
"...I don't really know what happened, except for that fact that I started taking anti-depressants, and I improved miraculously when Carly came to talk to me about Sam a week before I came here.
"How come the depression hasn't returned here?"
Freddie shifted uncomfortably.
"Most likely because I was busy here and was doing something new, something that I liked. Eventually graduating college became my mind set and I subconsciously pushed Sam farther back into my mind."
"Well, I've never heard of that before..."
"I was a special case I guess."
"Well Freddie, I'm touched that you opened up about your past to me, but you said you wanted my advice..."
Freddie quickly showed his proffesor th text he recieved that afternoon.
Mr. Nichols nodded, understanding the delimma.
"So what should I do now? I'm so confused!" Freddie hollored.
"Do you want to see her again? Especially after what she caused?"
"Yes." Freddie responded immediately.
"Well then you should text her back!"
Well I guess that would be logical, he mused.
Freddie automatically pulled out his cracked phone replied to the text.
'Okay. Let's meet tomorrow morning 10 o'clock. Skybucks. It's 10 minutes away from campus.'
Send.
Beep.
He gasped, she answered back within seconds.
'Perfect, see you then.'
He smiled to himself, taking a sip of peppy cola, he couldn't believe he was communicating with Sam again.
And then he realized what he was doing.
He choked on his soft drink. And coughed violently, sputtering out the soda.
When he was able to breath again he freaked out.
"Oh my god. I'm seeing Sam tomorrow!" Freddie ran out of the classroom and headed back to his dorm, his teacher chuckling as he sprinted away.
He couldn't belive it.
There was so much more Freddie needed to figure out before 10:00 AM.
Wasn't expecting Freddie to react like that hun? Me either :)
Please review, and share your thoughts!
~Katie