Dear Serena,
Tell him this, maybe I will believe it once you do.
Tell him I removed him from my heart , my mind , my thoughts , my world
Even in my imagination he is not
Why suffer? Why lose myself for him? Dream that is okay
Why lie to myself?
Tell him to stay away,
To leave me be alone, he is better off
Maybe if he is away I'll miss him
His love killed me, I thought love fits him
He cheapened all that ever mattered
Don't let him know I am waiting for him with open doors
Or spotting him in windows
Let him know the girl that told him she loved him once
Was a liar
Tell him I don't miss him at all
And nothing for him is done
Or said.
Don't tell him that I spent my nights haunted by the new version of him
That would easily cut through me
Tell him to stop looking at me like that
Those aren't his eyes, those aren't his touches , not my love
Not his hands, something is lost
I feel that he a stranger
Lost to me, lost
Lost he is
Next to me he was but I was looking for him
I beg of you Serena , tell me
Help me understand
What changed him?
Where is the child in him?
Where is he? What drained him?
Who is the reason? Where is our invincible love
As grand as this world
He took me from myself
When he took me like that
When he took me into his lap
I colored his eyes
I drew his lips
So that he can tell me love is still there
He is still who he is
He can lie to himself maybe
But on my heart he won't be able to, no
I know him
This is not him
Nor the only one that satisfied my thirst
Nor the love that took my heart as its home
He is looking like someone
Someone I hate , someone he hates
His voice is an echo
He is not able to resemble himself
But he is my love.
Tell me Serena how is he doing after me?
Is he able to put up with my distance?
And to live alone a new life
Tell him not to fool himself
My love is still on his mind
He is dreaming of us again for sure
Is he Serena?
The stoic way he carries himself around, the girls
I don't believe he doesn't miss me
I can't
Don't let me believe that he did
I know himself more than him
Even if he didn't speak
How many times when I was away
Did his tears flow like a baby's?
Or did they?
I remember when I said good bye
He was talking but I wouldn't listen
I wanted him to leave quickly
I couldn't, I can't
See him in font of eyes
Standing there
Stealing my soul from me
Let him go
Serena, please help me make him disappear
Too much hurt, too much affection is in my heart
My soul is away, away
I'm in some new strange world
How do I go on alone?
I believed every word he said
I fell in love with the love he had for me
Every single thing about him , about me
Even his lowest whispers
He makes me hurt
Myself is melted within him
I saw my world in his eyes
Tell me Serena how do I get my world back?
A/n: I hope you liked it. Please review and tell me what you like/hated, I would really love to know your opinions. If you are interested let me know cause im thinking of continuing the story in letters mode (next chapter is from chuck to Blair directly) and show the progression and memories by letters. Or I will leave it as it is and end it here. Let me know what you think! Chair ftw