Chapter Two: Not Now
Second Semester
No one ever wanted to fight against their friends. But when Weiss's honor needed defending, Ruby rallied the troops. When Nora proclaimed herself queen, Team RWBY joined together to fight for the ideals of liberty, while JNPR manned the battlements in defense of their beloved monarch.
"Justice will be swift!" Ruby promised, pointing forward to show the strength of her proclamation. "Justice will be painful! It will be delicious!"
"YEAH!" Weiss, Blake, and Yang cheered in unison, primed for battle.
"Off with their heads!" Nora commanded. Ren was the first into the breach, letting loose the watermelon bombardment, followed soon after by the rest of his team. Ruby ordered Yang into the fray, and with the aid of makeshift poultry gauntlets the blonde bruiser set to work intercepting the volleys. Ren was the swiftest member of his team, and prepared to intervene and put a stop to Yang's turkey-powered counterattack…
…until Blake leapt in to assist her partner. Ren could do nothing but watch as she cut the watermelons aside with loaves of bread, tearing physics asunder through sheer determination. Ren could've intervened then, but he couldn't summon the willpower. All he could do was watch Blake as she rushed into the heat of battle.
Pyrrha moved in instead, meeting Blake in single combat. Ren refocused his attention to Yang. It wasn't an ideal matchup for him, but Ren could hold her off, and fight her without being distracted.
That was, until Weiss sprayed the floor with ketchup, causing Ren to trip over his own feet, quite uncharacteristically crashing through seats and tables. He recovered quickly and moved into battle, though he imagined the sight of him tumbling through furniture did not endear him to her.
To her…?
Then Yang hit him with a turkey and things kind of went downhill from there.
Ren was out of it for most of what followed, but the fighting continued until Ruby activated her Semblance and caught Team JNPR in a big tornado of soda cans and Professor Goodwitch came in looking quite cross and then Yang fell through the ceiling; apparently Nora had knocked her up so far Yang had hit terminal velocity on the way down. Even covered in ketchup and soda, Ren caught the infectious good mood of his friends, as everyone shared a laugh at their antics. Ren cast a glance over at Team RWBY as Yang gave Professor Goodwitch an enthusiastic thumbs-up, and briefly met Blake's amber eyes.
She looked away from him. After waiting a few seconds and realizing she was quite determinedly avoiding his gaze, Ren stopped trying to catch her eye. It seemed this good mood everyone was in hadn't suddenly prompted her to return to her favorable opinion of him.
He suspected it was over between them when she stopped joining him for tea. Now he was certain of it.
When he saw Sun Wukong -the Faunus boy Blake had bonded with last semester- greet her and saw Blake's spirits noticeably lift in his presence, it only reinforced that belief.
He and Blake had never had to share many words, and what little communication she offered made her perspective clear. Whatever they had was in the past for her. Ren should've made the same assessment, and simply tried to be happy that his friend was happy with someone else.
That was all she was. That was all he was to her. In the grand scheme of things, it wouldn't be so bad if that was all they considered each other to be.
Eventually, when he looked at her smiling at Sun Wukong, it wouldn't hurt.
That day didn't come quickly, however. RWBY and JNPR still spent a great deal of time together, and though Ren tried not to let it bother him, he found himself becoming even more quiet and reserved and distracted himself with studies. Nobody ever expected him to have much to say anyway, but Blake had spent enough time with him to recognize the subtle differences in his demeanor. Unfortunately, she didn't offer any words to counteract him. She didn't even acknowledge the difference, pretending to be as oblivious to him as the rest of her teammates.
But she wasn't the only one who'd been around Ren long enough to notice a difference in his behavior, subtle though it was. Nora began eyeing him suspiciously, noting that even with Lie Ren it was possible for him to be too quiet. On their way to a study session in the library, Nora pulled Ren aside and quite bluntly inquired: "Okay, what is it?"
"What's what?" Ren asked, before he'd inferred her motivation.
"You've been acting weird lately," Nora didn't offer any more explanation than that. For her thought process, that was sufficient.
"I'm… not sure what you mean," Ren replied.
She knew his tells. She alone recognized when he was deliberately withholding information. Nora's expression soured. "Why are you lying to me?"
"I-"
"You never lie to me," Nora noted. "Whatever this is, it's serious." Nora glanced at Jaune and Pyrrha, the distance separating them becoming noticeable. She pointed a finger in Ren's face. "We're not done talking about this." She then took hold of his wrist and dragged him after their teammates, skipping along in her bubbly, upbeat way.
Though with how firmly she held onto him, Ren suspected he wouldn't get to escape her eye now. She wanted to comprehend, to understand what was going on in his life. That Nora didn't know every little detail about his life after coming to Beacon was probably driving her mad, because it was completely counter to how she'd always interacted with him; without secrets, without doubts.
It was a touching display from a dear friend. And Ren couldn't respond to it.
He didn't worry about what she'd think. He just didn't want her to abruptly turn on Blake once she learned how things ended.
Fortunately, Nora's watchful eye was only as vigilant as the mouth below it, and a lack of pancakes led to Nora dozing off in the library, sleeping so soundly Ren easily piled pages of his textbook on her head while Team RWBY played a board game while making many loud and dramatic proclamations. Despite sitting only a few feet away from Blake, Ren had a suitable distraction, burying himself in his studies… and indulging in a bit of amusement watching Jaune completely fail to woo Weiss with his confident assertions he could win on her behalf, despite Weiss's dire position after she fell into an obvious trap.
Until he slipped up and mentioned how Weiss had blabbed to him about Blake's Faunus nature, souring Blake's already grim mood. Ren didn't look over, keeping his head buried in the book, trying to appear aloof and detached; trying not to meet Blake's eye.
Then Sun Wukong entered the fray, dispelling the awkward silence and catching everyone's attention. "'Sup, losers?"
"Hey, Sun," Ruby greeted fondly. Blake said nothing, but her mood had noticeably improved upon his arrival, with her grim expression turning more neutral, and out of the corner of his eye Ren saw her suppress a smile.
"Ruby, Yang, Blake… ice queen," Sun waved. Ren clenched his fist, but no one seemed bothered by the way he crumpled the parchment.
"Why does everyone keep calling me that?!"
Sun ignored Weiss's protest, playing things off. "I never got a chance to formally introduce you to my old friend." He turned his head towards a blue-haired boy at his right, who seemed to catch the attention of the other three girls… but not Blake. Her eyes were still on Sun.
"Uh, aren't libraries for reading?" the blue-haired boy inquired.
It gave Ren a chance to express his festering emotion. "THANK YOU!"
Everyone glanced briefly his way, only to immediately return focus to Sun and his friend, who introduced himself as Neptune. If they were surprised by his outburst, they didn't stay so for long. The only noteworthy event that followed him throwing up his arms and shouting was Nora awakening from her slumber, muttering about pancakes.
Neptune immediately seemed enamored with Weiss, who didn't seem to mind the attention. Sun attempted to engage Blake in conversation, while Blake narrowed her eyes across the table, briefly meeting Ren's gaze. Apparently he hadn't gone as unnoticed by her as he'd been by the others.
Blake excused herself, perhaps a little too abruptly. Sun watched her depart, perplexed, and Ren turned to glance back at Nora as she roused from her slumber, catching only the tail end of things. As Ren's attention was focused on her rather than Blake, Nora seemed to miss the subtle looks she'd cast his way.
"Women," Nora mused, throwing up her hands.
Ren checked out the books and offered to haul them back to the dorm room while Jaune and Pyrrha continued to study, as they'd spent a bit too much time reading comic books. Team RWBY invited Sun to play their board game with them, and Nora, while not keen to let Ren leave her side for long, was distracted by seeing a frustrated Yang suffer defeat and he was able to slip through her fingers.
As he returned to his dorm and fumbled to unlock the door while managing a heavy load of books, he glanced across the hall to the RWBY dorm, its door ajar, where Blake lay on her bed, looking up at the ceiling. For a moment Ren paused to look at her, standing outside his door with a heavy load of books.
Eventually Blake became aware she was being watched and leaned upwards, looking across the hall at him. For several moments they just stared at each other.
Blake stood up and walked to the door, still holding his gaze. Again they just stared at one another, frozen in time.
Until Blake wordlessly shut the door, disappearing from view. Whatever thoughts she'd had Ren was not privy to. Whatever she might've said she'd preferred to keep to herself.
They'd never needed to exchange many words. And Ren understood her point.
Nora hadn't bothered him for a few days with any serious talk. Ren wondered if perhaps she was waiting for him to explain things to her rather than try to force his hand, and his silence was only delaying an inevitable, painful confrontation. The only problem was he had nothing new to tell her; nothing had really changed.
Team RWBY was planning something for the weekend; some misadventure for just their team to share. Without Yang and Ruby to distract Nora with hijinx and shenanigans, Ren suspected she'd broach the subject of his detachment sooner rather than later.
Jaune and Pyrrha went off to train, leaving just Ren and Nora in the dorm. Though she pretended to study, keeping her nose buried in a book, her eyes kept moving off the page as she glanced over at Ren, again and again, unable to remove him from her line of sight.
Ren sighed and steeled himself. "What is it, Nora?"
"You know what it is," Nora reminded him.
Ren was silent for several seconds as he thought about what to say. "I'm not sure what you want to hear."
"The truth," Nora flatly replied.
"That's the thing," Ren argued. "It's… complicated."
It really wasn't. It was very simple. He liked a girl. They had a thing once. She'd moved on. He hadn't, though he'd tried to. If he told Nora any of that she'd do whatever she could if she thought it'd make Ren feel better, and the last thing he wanted was to drag anyone else into this mess. Nora wasn't one for subtlety, and if she got involved, all of RWBY and JNPR would get involved. They'd have to choose sides and discuss some uncomfortable details.
At the moment no one knew but Ren and Blake. And there was harmony. Harmony for everyone but him.
"Well, come on, spill," Nora insisted. "It's a girl, right? It's gotta be a girl."
She was always asking for Ren's opinion on the other girls, even though Ren never expressed much interest to her. He'd praised Pyrrha and Team RWBY at every turn, and been careful not to praise Blake more than any of her teammates.
"Is it one of those girls from Haven that Ruby bumped into? They were both pretty," Nora suggested. She was searching for a reaction, trying to get him to reveal the truth without him needing to speak it aloud. She was searching for his tell.
The visitors from Haven… Ren hadn't even realized. He was normally very observant, but now he was distracted. Now he was caught unaware, because the only person on his mind had been Blake. And Sun, when he was around, to focus his anger upon.
He was so angry. The beast within him had been repressed for so long, forced down again and again without release, growing louder and more frustrated. Blake had found her outlet, and she no longer needed him to provide for her. His rage had no outlet.
"Nora…" Ren began, drawing her attention and cutting through her chatter. He tried to explain everything, to confide in her, to help alleviate her anguish and his own by letting her in on the secret.
But it was Blake's secret. Not his to share. Not even with his best friend in the world. Just as he hadn't been the one to reveal Blake's true nature, he would not be the one to reveal what other side of herself she'd hidden away.
"I don't want to talk about this," Ren finally said.
"Aw, come on!" Nora protested. "This is clearly bothering you; I just want to hel-"
Too much noise. It exacerbated the anger.
"Not now," Ren said, trying to remain calm.
"But Ren, I just think you need to-"
"NOT NOW!" Ren snapped. It was not in him to even raise his voice. Nora was stunned by his outburst, raising a hand over her mouth.
Ren gathered up his books and headed for the door. "I'm… I'm sorry, I just- I… I need to go."
At least it wasn't another lie. At least that jumbled mess was the truth. He did need to be away from her, before he said something unkind. Before this beast within him forced itself further out and tainted her perception of him further.
As he stormed down the hall, Ren cursed the day he'd ever invited Blake to tea. He cursed himself for ever letting loose the seal on this monster dwelling within. He cursed Blake for finding someone else.
He tried to remind himself that she was his friend, and he was wrong to behave this way. He tried to rationalize this as a personal failing, as an inability to accept change, even when that change had been to Blake's benefit.
All that did was remind him that for Blake to move forward she had to leave him behind.
Team RWBY had quite a misadventure that through a strange series of coincidences led them to doing battle against the White Fang, allied with the criminal Roman Torchwick. Ren hadn't been privy to the events, but hearing them secondhand he'd learned how they, together with Sun and Neptune, had rooted out some major conspiracy going on in Vale.
And when he saw Blake again, in class and sitting across the table with her team, he saw her looking increasingly haggard, just as she'd been at the end of the last semester. Her teammates closed ranks around her, and Ren suspected they knew more about what ailed her than they let on.
He'd have offered his help had they requested it. Jaune and Pyrrha felt similarly, but they didn't take it as a slight. Nora kept up the appearance of being upbeat, though eventually the others began to notice slightly less spring in her step. Nora played it off, never betraying her concerns for Ren. Team RWBY's attention quickly shifted from this massive criminal conspiracy to the forthcoming dance, as Weiss and Yang took over responsibility for organizing the extracurricular event while Team CFVY were stuck on an away mission. Ren briefly mused how different life would be if it had only ever been he and Fox sharing tea.
Ren's guilt over having lashed out at Nora may not have made for a pleasant thought, but at least it distracted him from what had been left behind by Blake dominating his mind. He needed to make amends with her; to try and mend whatever pain he'd personally caused. That he was taking so long just to speak to her again was only making things worse.
He needed to clear his head of these troublesome thoughts. He went to the gym to get a long workout in, to keep in shape for the upcoming tournament, then went in search of a long shower.
He didn't need to be tied to a few days from the prior semester. Blake had found a way to live peacefully with her other side, and all he needed to do was find a balance, to keep himself calm and directed. Getting back in sync with his oldest friend and sharpening his battle skills seemed an ideal way to find that balance.
Blake thought Sun understood her. A dance? Who could possibly think about a dance at a time like this? Why did anyone think it was important when the kingdom of Vale was being threatened? They may have just been students, but they knew who their enemies were. They could've intervened, maybe prevented whatever schemes Roman Torchwick had in the works. And then her friends tried to persuade her to attend too. What was with everyone's skewed priorities?
As was so often the case, she struck out on her own. She didn't want to be around Ruby or Yang and their infuriatingly upbeat natures. She didn't want to hear Weiss scold her about school or social expectations. She didn't want to indulge Sun's childish antics or his obvious crush. She just wanted to be alone.
And being alone while she was angry and frustrated… that only intensified her bad mood. That only roused the beast that had slumbered for so long, seeking an outlet for all that wrath she'd managed to keep subdued.
There was an easy solution to that. She just hadn't thought it'd ever be necessary again.
But the monster dwelling within was awake now, and the more she thought of how her friends had irked her, the more violent became its motions under her skin. She knew how to alleviate these tremors. She knew how to soothe the savage beast.
Only two others had ever seen it. She hadn't intended to show either of them ever again.
But then, Blake had done a lot of things she never intended to do.
He was distracted by conflicting emotions, but driven to clear his head and focused on simple and basic tasks. That made him easy prey. She was motivated by raw emotion, but steady in her pursuit and clear on her objective. That made her an efficient hunter.
Ren did as he'd intended, making his way to the showers after an intense regimen. Blake carefully scouted the location, and once she was sure she would not be interrupted, stepped in and waited for her opportunity to seize him.
She was not feeling patient. Were his wits about him, Ren would've easily heard her coming. But somewhere between his tortured thoughts and the steady sound of running water, he missed hearing her soft footstep.
When he turned through the cascade of water and saw her amber eyes, his first thought was that he beheld some delusion; some manifestation of his lust and guilt emerging from the steam in the shower room.
"Blake," Ren whispered, trying to convince himself what he was seeing was real. His doubt was assuaged when she took hold of his wrist, pulling him towards her with a fervor, dragging his sopping wet form out into the tiled hall.
Blake reached up, placing her hands on either of his cheeks before leaning in to kiss him.
At first Ren had no idea how to react. He knew how he wanted to respond, but he'd never expected this to happen again. And while this might calm the beast for a moment, reminding it of this would only make its hunger grow in the future.
Ren tried not to surrender to impulse. He tried to be rational, tried to escape from what assailed him from within. Ren pulled back from her kiss. "Why are you doing this? Why now?"
Blake looked at him longingly. Her eyes were pained. Her lips were quivering. Her hands were shaking. "Ren," she whispered.
She wasn't in a good place. He should've tried to dissuade her, tried to find out what had led her to this moment rather than give in to such base urges.
Then she reached up to unclasp her bow, setting loose her ears. She reached to unbutton her vest, then to her white undershirt. Just as she saw all of him, he again saw all of her.
"No words," Blake requested.
Ren complied.
Ren watched as Blake adjusted her coattails and zipped up her shorts. He didn't respond to her motions until she moved to tie the ribbon of her bow, to seal away her ears again. Only then did he intervene, standing up and reaching to her wrist, only for Blake to pull her arm away and continue her work.
Once again she was hiding. For a brief moment she'd been herself, but once again she put up the mask. Ren sighed as he withdrew his hand from her. "Should I assume nothing has changed then?"
The words hurt more than he'd thought. He hadn't expected her to suddenly turn around and take him back, but vocalizing his thoughts made them all the more real.
And then, of course, Blake confirmed his suspicion. "Nothing's changed."
Before she'd been lost in his eyes. Now she didn't even look at him. Even standing feet away from him, she was separated by a great and impenetrable distance.
"I understand," Ren tried to assure her. Blake finished adjusting her attire and stood with her back to him, no doubt searching for the words to excuse her departure. For several long and awkward seconds they stood there, not speaking.
The beast in Ren may have been pacified, but he was still frustrated by her. He wanted to say so many things, to vent, to explain, to just ask why things had to be as they were. His emotions were welling up again, and any hope of achieving that calm, balanced emotional state was lost.
He reached over to tap her shoulder, to draw her attention. He reined in all that he wanted to say, trying instead to compose a message of friendship, or encouragement, or at least assurance he had never betrayed her trust.
When he tapped her shoulder his hand passed right through her flesh. When he reached with a second hand 'Blake' crumpled to dust and dissipated, her shadow clone vanishing at his touch. He wasn't sure how long she'd remained to indulge him, but once again she'd decided to move on before Ren realized she was done with him.
He was very far off his game. He was so distracted he couldn't see what had literally been right in front of him.
He needed another shower. With colder water.
Ren was on his way back to the dorm, clad in only a towel, when Jaune took hold of his wrist and firmly declared: "We need to talk!"
Ren briefly wondered if he'd been found out. If Jaune had noticed why he'd been gone so long or seen Blake head to the boy's showers. When Jaune told Nora to cover her ears with headphones so they could talk man-to-man, Ren was certain he'd been found out.
"Ren… I'm just gonna come out and say it," Jaune began.
Ren sensed danger. If Jaune knew the truth, soon everyone else would.
"You… are one of my best friends," Jaune continued. "These past few months I feel like we've really bonded. Even though… you don't say much. I mean you're really quiet. To be perfectly honest, I don't know that much about you personally, but darn it, I consider you the brother I never had!"
Ren wasn't quite sure where this was going, but he could return the kind sentiment. "And I you."
But then Jaune sought advice about his own girl troubles, rather than broach the topic of where Ren had been. Ren was actually pleased Jaune's attention was elsewhere, and so Ren tried to reach for his clothes while his team leader prattled on about his own inadequacy when he asked: "How did you and Nora…?"
Ren would normally have answered that with ease and corrected Jaune's misconception. But he'd been so distracted trying to reach for his clothes he only managed a few noncommittal grunts. Fortunately, Nora chose to intervene. "Ahem." She laughed nervously and went on to explain: "We're not actually together together."
"Nora. I said headphones on!" Jaune snapped. Nora squeaked and complied, leaving Ren to witness their antics.
Once again, Nora had come to his aid. She sensed things were amiss, and unlike Jaune, seemed to have no problems of her own clouding her vision.
He still needed to make amends with her… so after Pyrrha joined the conversation and encouraged Jaune to earnestly pursue his romantic interest, Ren found the time to clothe and turn his attention to his oldest friend.
"There are a lot of things I'd like to tell you," Ren explained, out of Pyrrha's earshot, "but the important thing to note is how you've been there for me throughout."
She'd need more than that eventually. For now, he hoped a sincere showing would be enough. "I'm sorry for how I acted before. I just… I'd never dealt with this problem before, and I didn't want to drag you down with me when I was in such a bad place."
He needed to demonstrate not only remorse, but contrition. He needed to raise her spirits too, to put her mind at ease, even if his own remained muddled. "Were you planning on going to the dance this weekend?"
Nora may not have had all the details she'd been craving about Ren's mysterious ailment, but she had something much better to occupy her thoughts now. When she broke into a broad smile, Ren knew he'd made some progress in his atonement.
He only wished his step forward hadn't been immediately preceded by so many steps back.
Yang had dragged Blake away from the library to an empty classroom, and the two had a long conversation. Yang opened up to Blake about her past, about secrets Blake honestly suspected even Ruby didn't know, about Yang's real mother, about her search, about anguish she had buried and hidden from them.
When Blake had initially lashed out at her, Yang had turned angry, her eyes burning red as she pushed Blake back, reminding her of her weakness, of how out of her depth she'd be in chasing after Roman Torchwick in her current state.
Then Yang stopped shoving her and pulled Blake into a tight hug, and whispered: "I'm not asking you to stop. Just please… get some rest."
Yang pulled back, her eyes returning to their beautiful lilac. "Not just for you. But for the people you care about. And if you feel like coming out tomorrow, I'll save you a dance."
Yang left Blake to think on that, leaning up against the professor's desk in the empty lecture hall.
Whom did she care about?
Her friends. Yang, Weiss, Ruby, Nora, Pyrrha, Jaune, and Sun. She'd been so distant from them, so frustrated by their desire to enjoy their youth because Blake had spent so much time trying to be the adult fighting the harshness and inequality of the world.
She was pushing them all away. And for what? Because they wanted her to share in these simple pleasures with them and fight the bad guys after they had a fun weekend for a change? Because they didn't want to be focused on fighting against evil all the time?
They were only trying to help. Even if she didn't want to acknowledge it, even if she didn't completely share their perspectives, Blake understood that.
And Sun… he'd been so kind to her, and she wouldn't mind dancing with him. Or dancing with Yang.
Or with…
Blake shook her head. What happened earlier… what happened last semester… that wasn't who she was. That was some remainder of her old self, something darker and more monstrous than her friends believed she could be.
And once more, the beast within was subsumed, and she wished only to be beside her friends. Torchwick may have been up to something, but she didn't think he'd be able to conquer Vale in a weekend. The White Fang may have lost their way, but her friends didn't begrudge her for having fought under their banner before.
Life was good. She was where she wished to be, and set for a fun outing with her friends.
And that other side of her… well, it had seen its last day outside its cage. If she'd been less impulsive, she may well have been able to forget it completely after today.
Just another memory of her past life now. Just another thing to put behind her.
Ren… he understood that, didn't he? He understood that she'd just… used him. He kept her secrets, even when it caused him pain. Those looks he'd sent her way had stopped before today. He knew that he was her past.
Today was the last gasp of her old self. Ren may or may not have known it then, but he'd been the last witness to the beast within her.
Blake promised herself it was the last time. She promised herself she'd find time to thank Ren for all he'd done for her, and assure him he was still her dear friend.
Promises, promises.