HELL IS LIKE THIS, Part I

Chapter 2: The Exam

Sergeant Fallon stared in shock at his Commander when he arrived as ordered. The big tom could barely stand and was leaning against the frame of his apartment door he'd opened to answer the sergeant's knock.

"Sir, what happened?"

"I'll tell you later, just help me to your car," Feral growled, shivering a little.

Swallowing hard, Fallon went to his Commander's side and hooked an arm around the rocky tom's waist. When they stepped away from the door, he let Feral pull the door closed then the two of them slowly walked to the elevator.

He could feel the dark tom shaking and breathing hard which told him how badly hurt Feral was on top of what his nose told him was sweat, blood and...sex? That last scent confused him.

What the heck had happened to his leader? he wondered as he helped the big tom into the passenger seat of his enforcer sedan then hurried around to the driver's seat. He desperately wanted to take Feral to the hospital but had a suspicion that wouldn't be where they were going.

"Sir, what's our destination?"

"Enforcer Headquarters."

Nodding, Fallon quickly drove off, turning on the heat to help offset the shock he could tell Feral was suffering. He thought breaking the speed limit was warranted as well, seriously concerned about the Commander's condition.

Feral reached for the radio mike on the dash and spoke into it, "This is Feral...transfer me to the medical section."

Dispatched obeyed without question and the next voice he heard said, "Medical Section!"

"Feral here, I need Dr. Mewser to report for duty."

"Not necessary, sir. He came in for an injury an hour ago and is still here."

"Then insure he doesn't leave. Tell him I need to see him immediately and I want no one else to take care of me when I arrive."

"Sir, you require medical assistance?" the voice asked, concerned.

Feral was about to snap no then changed his mind as he realized walking would be difficult, the stairs to the door...impossible. "I'll require a wheelchair...side door, as few people seeing me as possible," he finally bit out.

"Yes sir. Your ETA?"

"Five minutes."

"See you then, sir." The connection broke off.

Feral sighed, put the mike back then slumped in his seat. Just being wheeled in was going to cause a stir among those that saw him. Still, he hoped he could keep this under wraps. No way did he want anyone to know what happened to him that didn't need to know.

The Sergeant eyed his Commander, his concern rising as they arrived at Enforcer Headquarters. He drove his car around to a side entrance not used very much. Inside the door, waiting for them, was Dr. Mewser and an attendant. They came out to the car when it halted by the door. Dr. Mewser opened the passenger door and peered in at his patient.

"Can I be of assistance, sir?" He asked, quietly, not liking what he was seeing.

Feral grunted a response and levered himself upward, nearly swaying forward into the doctor's arms. With the attendant's assistance, Mewser helped Feral be seated securely in the chair.

"Sir, you wish me to stay with you?" Sgt Fallon asked from inside the car.

"Yes, please. I'll need you to take my statement and do a few things for me. The first of which, is keep those that know about my present condition to a minimum."

"Of course sir," Fallon acknowledged, quietly. "I'll be there as soon as I park the car."

Feral just nodded then he was wheeled inside. No one was in the hall as the attendant rolled him to a nearby elevator. A car arrived moments later and he was rolled inside. The trip was made in strained silence. When they reached the medical floor, the morning shift was in full swing and, except for a few concerned glances, everyone continued about their business.

Mewser escorted Feral to a treatment room and shut the door. He and the attendant helped the big tom onto the exam bed. Ordering the attendant to wait outside, the tom nodded and rolled the wheelchair from the room, closing the door firmly behind him.

"What happened?" Dr. Mewser asked as he put on a pair of examination gloves, his eyes scanning Feral in deep concern.

"I was raped." His patient said thickly unable to meet the doctor's eyes as he sat on the bed staring at the floor.

Mewser froze in mid-motion for a second then recovered before Feral noticed. "I'll need a rape kit, a photographer, and an assistant," he quietly told his Commander.

"As long as strict security and privacy over my case is adhered to do what you have to," Feral agreed, his voice tight with pain and exhaustion.

"Understood, sir!" Dr. Mewser said quietly, stepping outside the room a moment.

Feral continued to stare at the floor noting it was very clean. Strange what thoughts pass through ones mind at a time like this, he mused, feeling sick emotionally and physically, his emotions numb at the moment which was a mercy.

He tried to chastize himself that he should be focusing on what he would put in his report of this incident so Fallon could get started on the investigation but it felt like his mind was slogging through mud and through it occasional flashes of the rape insisted on making a reappearance.

His body added to his misery by tormenting him with shivers caused by beginning shock, throbbing pain below his waist from his abused nether regions, a burning feeling in both his injured wrists, and bile threatening to rise to his throat.

Mewser was back in the room less than minutes later, though it had felt like an hour, and noted immediately Feral's pale and green parlor. "Nausea?"

The dark tom could only nod, swallowing repeatedly to try to keep his stomach from ejecting his dinner. Mewser quickly reached for an emesis basin and shoved it beneath Feral's mouth just as the tom lost the battle. When he stopped heaving moments later, he nearly toppled off the table as his head now roared with pain. As his patient moaned, eyes closed against the pain, a light knock was heard on the door notifying Mewser his helpers had arrived.

"Come in!"

A serious faced young male carrying a camera and an older female with a rape kit and warmed blankets in her paws, hurried into the room.

"Agatha, let's get him stripped quickly then start some ringers, he's in shock. I want you to take the rape panel samples to the lab personally, wait for them, no name attached which is why you're not taking your eyes off them, tell them its immediate priority then get the results to me and Fletcher ASAP," he rattled off orders in a low voice as he took Feral's vitals.

"Yes sir," she murmured softly, quickly setting about following his orders.

She muttered a soft apology for causing Feral pain as she cut his clothes off and bagged them, handing them off to Fletcher. As soon as he was nude, she eased him into a laying position and quickly wrapped the warmed blankets around him before hooking up an IV and taking a blood sample. For the urine test, she raised the blanket a little and inserted a catheter then pressed gently on Feral's bladder to obtain a sample causing him to hiss in pain. She murmured an apology and finished as quickly as she could. Removing the catheter, she pulled the blanket back in place then put the samples into a carrier, setting it on a nearby counter out of the way for the time being. Next, she turned back to aid the doctor in performing the rape kit.

Young Fletcher took photographs each step of the way, keeping a flat, professional expression on his face as he worked.

Mewser examined Feral's male and female genitals, taking samples on special swabs that the nurse placed in envelopes meant for them. "There's been some tearing to the rectum but none to the vagina except for the hymen being torn. Nothing that needs stitches, thankfully," he murmured, softly, the nurse annotating the information on the patient report form. "I'll clean it up and apply some pain killing cream."

During the whole process, Feral kept his eyes closed, moved as he was told, and allowed them to do what they needed to without speaking. He was photographed from many different angles, especially his genitals which made him feel dirty and sick. His genitals were also combed for foreign fur and swabs were taken to collect other fluids that might identify the attackers.

He tried to keep his mind blank so he could get through this without dissolving into angry tears of humiliation or going into a berserker rage over what had been done to him. At the moment, he was still too numb to decide which emotion would win when he finally allowed himself to feel again.

It took more than an hour to get everything done but finally it was over and all the evidence except for the lab tests were handed over to young Fletcher. He would be taking the rape kit, bag of clothes and the photos to the lab and doing this part of the investigation himself.

Mewser had chosen him because he was a meticulous and closed-mouth CSI scientist. He had a reputation for discretion in delicate situations such as this. Nurse Agatha picked up the carrier of samples requiring the medical lab to process and went out the door with Fletcher on her heels, heading for his own lab.

Checking Feral's vitals again, Mewser was relieved they were moving closer to normal than when the tom had arrived. Still, the Commander was far from well both mentally and physically. In truth, he should be kept in the hospital at least overnight but Mewser knew that wouldn't happen.

"Though it's against my better judgement, since what you went through wasn't a simple attack, I won't try to keep you overnight as is indicated by your condition. Arguing with you when your head isn't in the right place is a waste of breath and would only stress you further, so I'm going to compromise with you and insist you remain here for four hours." He sighed mentally when he saw the mulish look come into the Commander's eyes. At least his spirit hasn't been crushed by this, he thought, relieved.

"This is not negotiable, Commander. Staying will ease my conscious of allowing you to walk out of here. You'll be monitored for any complications and it will give your body time to recover from shock. I'm also going to give you a mild pain injection so you can rest. When you're released, I'm sending you home with more pain meds, nothing too strong but enough to dull the ache. You will use them...no arguments or I will be forced to use my medical prerogative to pull you from duty," Mewser warned his stubborn patient bluntly, knowing Feral only too well.

Feral snapped his mouth shut at the threat, knowing Mewser wasn't bluffing.

When the big tom stayed silent, Mewser nodded. "Good, at least we understand each other. Now, the creams I'm going to leave for you...use...they will help ease your discomfort and prevent any nasty diseases from taking root. And don't stint on taking the pain meds. Going all macho will only slow the healing process, keep you exhausted, and prevent you from sitting at all when you go back to work."

Mewser paused. He really didn't like the haunted look on the tom's face nor the rising anger and humiliation he could see in Feral's eyes. The next thing he had to insist upon, he knew Feral would flat out refuse to do but... "you also must see the psychiatrist...no choice...your security clearance and position demand it..." he reached out a paw and rested it on Feral's shoulder gently. "...and because this isn't something you can just get over by working yourself to death. You've been violated and it will affect your thinking whether you think so or not. Please, don't fight me on this. Now, would you like me to send Sgt Fallon in to take your statement?" he asked quietly.

"Yes, thank you." Feral said, his voice rough and thick with exhaustion. Mewser nodded, leaving the room a moment then ushering the Sergeant in before leaving and closing the door behind him.

Fallon walked up to the bed hesitantly. He thought the Commander looked worse than when he first brought him in. The tom looked pale and exhaustion made him appear much older than he truly was. His eyes was closed when Fallon asked, softly, "I'm here sir, what can I do for you?"

Feral blinked sleepy eyes open then focused on the Sergeant. "I need you to take my statement and do the investigation yourself. Fletcher in CSI is handling the evidence and Dr. Mewser will have the other parts of that delivered to CSI later today. Keep the Enforcers that need to know to a bare minimum and, no, do not tell Felina nor Steele what's happened to me. Understood?"

"Yes sir." Fallon felt his stomach tighten as he waited to be told something he was sure he didn't want to know. He took out his notebook and waited.

In a flat monotone, Feral bluntly told his assistant he had been gang raped.

Fallon immediately felt horror and shock thrum through him but shoved it aside as his superior needed him to listen right now, later would be soon enough for him to rail at the injustice of someone so strong and in charge to be abused and humiliated this way.

He grit his teeth and wrote down all the information Feral had been able to glean from his terrible ordeal. It was more than most rape victims could remember and fairly extensive but that was expected of someone of his level of training. Fallon felt he might get lucky and find these bastards quickly with this amount of information.

Though Fallon felt truly bad doing this, he knew his Commander would be pissed if thought Fallon was trying to be sensitive to his plight and ended up missing some crucial bit of information simply because he felt sorry for the tom. So with a sick feeling inside, Fallon began grilling his superior on all aspects of the attack and the tom's personal life that might have bearing on this case. When he thought he'd gotten what he needed, he thanked his boss and closed his notebook, putting it away in an inside pocket of his uniform.

"I'll take care of this as soon as I return to my office, sir. Is there anything else I can do for you?" he asked, preparing to leave.

Feral felt like a hollowed out shell when Fallon finished his questioning and even more humiliated than before but shoved that feeling aside to give the tom an answer, "I'll be released in four hours. Please bring me my spare uniform and hang it here then I'll need a lift home."

"Certainly, sir. Get some rest and I'll be back later," Fallon promised, then quietly left the room.

Outside the room, Fallon took a deep breath then let it out slowly as he walked down the corridor for the elevator, his eyes like flint. Riding it up to his floor, his mind went over what he needed to do with cold precision. He was in a fine fury when he reached his office, sat down, and snatched up the phone.

He quickly summoned a small team to aid him in this investigation. All were experienced and trustworthy. He told them to come to his office ASAP then collected his notes and began making other calls, collecting information. By the time his team of five arrived, he had gotten a lead on the club...which wasn't that hard, it being the only one in the area in question.

"Close the door," he told the last one in, his voice flat and cold. "What I'm about to tell you doesn't leave this room. No discussing the case within hearing range of anyone not in this room whatsoever, so pay attention to who is around when you must speak of it to one another. Tight security procedures are to be adhered to at all times."

The other officers eyed him in consternation. Fallon was not normally so formal though he was rigid about rules on matters of security. What could have gotten him this uptight? Was the general thought the team shared.

"Commander Feral was kidnapped last night..." gasps and angry exclamations greeted that announcement. Fallon held up his paw for silence so he could continue, "...he was released this morning after he'd spent hours being gang raped." Silence suddenly fell and horror filled the eyes gaping at him.

"Per his request, I am in charge of the investigation. I've already located the possible site of the club he may have been taken to...here are the other facts I have..." he briefed them on what he'd found out then they separated to dig even deeper about the club's owners, clientele, business associates, etc. plus obtaining a warrant to search the premise for any sign of Feral's incarceration there.

Noting the time, Fallon got up from his desk, stepped out and locked his door before going to the Commander's office to retrieve the uniform Feral had requested and delivering it to the medical floor. Quietly opening the door to Feral's room, he found the Commander asleep, much to his relief. He hung the uniform on the back of the door and slipped away again.

Feral had heard the door open then close moments later. 'Someone checking on me,' he thought blearily. He was still numb but his pain was more bearable due to the drugs, however, sleep was elusive as the memory of the voices of his rapists kept intruding. He guessed at some point he must have slept because he was rather groggy when the opening of the door again, woke him. It took a lot of effort to drag his eyes open. It was Dr. Mewser and his expression wasn't too happy.

"How are you feeling now, Commander?"

"Tired...a bit sore but not in as much pain now," he muttered thickly. "Can I leave now?"

Mewser eyed him a moment, looking as if he would refuse the request but sighed instead. "If you can get up on your own, you can go home."

Feral gave him an angry look but pushed upward with his paws until he was sitting. The world swayed a moment but when it steadied, he shoved the blanket off himself then carefully turned his body, working hard to keep from wincing as he put his feet on the floor and stood up. His paws kept a firm hold on the edge of the bed until he was certain he wouldn't take a header to the floor.

Kat's alive! Despite the pain meds everything hurts, he thought miserably, but I won't stay here. With an extreme effort of will, he forced himself to let go of the bed and stand, he swayed a bit but he didn't fall.

Mewser shook his head, not really convinced this was the right thing to do but in a battle of wits with the Commander, he was usually the loser. "You are the most impossible patient but what else is new. Alright, so you're on your feet and as promised, you can go home. However, you will keep your psych exam on Thursday or I will pull you from duty. I'll give the time to your secretary."

Feral felt his shoulders tighten. He didn't like psych exams under normal conditions but knew he wouldn't be allowed to avoid this one. Swallowing hard and trying to calm himself, he realized just how much fury and sorrow were rapidly trying to overtake him despite the drugs dulling his senses...the numbness picked a wrong time to retreat but he fought to keep his face and eyes flat and unemotional...no way did he want to give Mewser a reason to keep him.

"I understand."

Still eyeing the big tom critically, the doctor unbent enough to ask, "Do you wish help dressing?"

"No, I can manage. Thank you," Feral said tightly, only wanting the doctor to leave now. "Would you please summon Sgt Fallon and have him report to me?"

"Certainly. Oh, here's the creams and pain meds I promised," Mewser pulled tubes and bottles from his doctor's jacket and went over and dumped them into Feral's great coat hanging behind his uniform.

"Please use them and take the sleep aid. You desperately need rest and the trauma is too fresh to allow it. I'll leave you now to dress but I want to see you for a follow up in a week." When Feral nodded, he turned and left the Commander alone.

When Fallon arrived, he found the Commander struggling to dress himself. Without a word, he gently came to the big tom's aid. Feral gave him a grateful look and soon was redressed and leaving the building on his own two feet, though walking was a serious trial, his steps heavy and careful so he wouldn't topple to the ground.

He was ever so grateful to be sitting again when he reached the car and climbed in then was driven home. A heavy silence blanketed the car, but Fallon took no offense. He could tell the Commander was still exhausted.

Pulling up to Feral's apartment building, Fallon parked in front and without appearing to do so, he helped the Commander out of the car, into the building, up in the elevator and to his door. He wished he could help the tom undress and get into bed too but could tell Feral wanted to be alone.

"Thank you for your assistance. I won't be in tomorrow. You know to pass the important stuff to Felina and the minor to Steele. Of course, tell the pompous ass he's in charge for the day," Feral grunted, grimacing mentally at the thought of leaving that idiot in charge but he knew he just wasn't up to trying to working at all.

"Certainly sir. Call me if you need me. Would you like me to pick you up the day after?" Fallon asked, cautiously.

Feral shook his head. "No, I'll be fine, thank you."

"Alright sir, rest the best you can." Fallon reluctantly turned away and went back down the elevator. He had work to do finding those cruds even if he had to work the next forty-eight hours straight to do it.

Inside his apartment, Feral carefully locked his door then made his way to his bedroom where he slowly and painfully stripped his clothes off again. Going to the bathroom, he turned on the shower and sat on the toilet to wait for it to heat up.

Once steam was filling the room, he slipped inside and allowed the hot water to wash over him. Alone at last, he let the tears of humiliation, anguish and sorrow flow down his face...the fury would come later he was sure. He didn't stop himself from sliding to the floor of the shower as he huddled in abject misery.

When the water began to cool, he dragged himself to his feet and staggered to stand under the dryers. The shower had only help a little but at least it loosened him up so he could move enough to crawl into bed. It was well after lunch but he had no appetite despite not having had breakfast either. The thought of food made him queasy.

Going to his great coat he'd hung on the back of his bedroom door, he withdrew the tubes and bottles and walked back to his bed. Setting the bottles on his night stand, he mechanically applied the vaginal and rectal creams to ease his soreness, tossing the tubes in a drawer of the night stand when he was through then reached for the pain pill bottle, downing one and ignoring the sleeping pill bottle. Drinking about half the glass of water, he set the glass down and crawled under his covers, curling into a fetal ball as fresh tears chased him into exhausted slumber.