Disclaimer: I don't own the Hunger Games. Suzanne Collins does!

I felt her kick for the first time when I was in the Meadow. It was a tiny kick, but I remember the fear and terror that started to kick in.

It was a few weeks after I got married when I felt her stirring inside of me.

As the small thud hit the walls of my womb I remember stopping dead in my tracks, my hand to my stomach. I exchanged looks with Peeta and he knew too.

This wasn't like the fake pregnancy I played in the arena. This was real.

"I'm going to be a father. Real or not real?" Peeta asked me.

I gave his hand a squeeze. "Real."

It took forever to decide on a name. I thought about naming her Primrose or Rue. I don't know why I didn't. Maybe I didn't want my child to carry the burden I did, by dreaming of their deaths every night.

Peeta, as usual, came to my aid. He said that our children should have a fresh start. They should be given the honor to make their own name glorious, and not feel the urge to live up to the Victor Parent standards. So she was given a simple, yet beautiful name. Rina Lavinia Mellark.

I had to name her after Lavinia. After watching her be abducted in the woods, after hearing her make her final scream and sound, after learning she died because of me, it was the least I could do. Peeta couldn't agree more.

We were sitting by the fire that evening. Peeta was poking at the embers with a stick while Jayden was dosing off in my arms. Rina is eating strawberries that she had harvested in the woods earlier today, and fiddling with a piece of rope that she's practicing with to make snares. Then question comes then.

"The Hunger Games came in your favor because you were both brought together. Real or not real?" Rina asks.

Peeta stops what he's doing, and I stop rocking my chair. Jayden's asleep anyways. Rina turns her head, looking at Peeta, then me. "Real or not real?" she asks again, biting her knuckles.

Peeta smiles and leans over to kiss her forehead. "Real."

Rina smiles and nods her approval before she looks at me. "Mum?"

"Katniss it's just hunting. You're the best hunter I know. You know how to kill."

"Not people."

"How different can it really be?" he had said grimly.

Then the Peacekeeper came to tell us our time was up. He asked for more time but they were already dragging him away. I remember the fear beginning to sink in as they began to pull me away from my best friend.

"DON'T LET THEM STARVE!" I scream.

"I won't! You know I won't! And Katniss remember I—"

The door slammed shut. I was alone. And until this day, I still do not know what he wanted me to remember.

Were the odds really ever in my favor? I lost about all of the people I loved to the Games and to the Capitol. Cinna. Prim. Boggs. Rue. Finnick. Madge.

The Games took Gale away from me too. The woods have that feeling of emptiness now, when I don't have my hunting partner at my side. It gets harder for me to hunt as these years go by.

But I don't need fire. I need a dandelion. Something beautiful, something hopeful, and something that will always be there every spring. Peeta gives that to me.

I smile at Rina, and smooth Jayden's hair as he sleeps. "Real."

Rina's blue gray eyes flicker at me and she nods, going back to the snare, her careful fingers setting the trap. I watch her as she retrieves on of her arrows. She pokes the arrow into the snare and is shuts. She smiles in approval. That's when the tears begin to come.

"Um… I'm going to put Jayden to bed. I'll see you upstairs," I say to Peeta, in barely a whisper.

He gives me a look of worry. He knows that voice, but he doesn't say anything because Rina is in the room. He just stands and gives Jayden a quick kiss on the forehead and then he touches my cheek, kissing me softly. "I'll be up soon."

I nod and look at Rina. "Go wash up dear. It's getting late."

I ascend up the flight of stairs and lay Jayden on his mattress, tucking the blanket up to his neck, before I kiss him good night. Then, I enter my room, and I burst into tears.

I hate crying. Why am I crying now?

It was a Sunday in October. The cool forest air and fog lingered all around me, and I was going home. That's when I saw it. A dead rabbit hanging from its neck in a wire that. Nearby there was another.

I stepped closer to examine the switch up snares. I remember my father giving me a brief lesson on how they worked. I reached out to the snare to get a closer look when the voice came.

"That's dangerous."

I spun around and saw him come out from behind a tree. He had been watching me. I recognized him from school, and he wandered the Seam a lot. But this was also the boy who I had saw in the Justice Building just a few years ago, receiving a medal of valor for being the eldest child. His father died in the same mine explosion as mine.

"What's your name?" Gale asked me.

"Katniss…"

"Well Catnip, stealing is punishable by death if you hadn't heard."

"Katniss. And I wasn't stealing it. I wanted to see your snare. Mine never catch anything."

I found myself sitting at the window, looking out at the woods. I could hear the laughter of the two kids who met in the woods. They were inseparable. Best friends. Sometimes I wonder if I would of married him, if things hadn't gone the way they did at the reaping.

But in the midst of my tears I realize how much I missed him.

I really hope you're not getting bored. I've got so much more coming! Just stay with me.

Katniss Everdeena