Hehe… NOW I'm ready...
(Intro Story)
Three mechs walk to the edge of a cliff.
One of the mechs looks downward.
#1: There's the town.
#2: Hard to believe that an Esper's been down there for the last 1000 years, eh Biggs?
#1: What did you call me?
#2: Um…
#1: Did you call me "Biggs?" That is definently NOT my name.
#2: Really? I called you that yesterday. Heck, that was your birthday. All of the cards read "Happy HB, Viggs!" Hey, wait a second-
#1 (apparently Viggs): What? What the heck are you talking about? The cards did NOT say "Viggs." At least I remember your name, Wedge.
Wedge (formerly #2): Yeah, Wedge is right. But your name, I thought it was Bicks…
Viggs (apparently Bicks): No, that's not my name, either.
Wedge: But, I thought it was Biggs and Wedge. You know, it was supposed to be a reference from that sci-fi thingie… Star Quest, Space Wars… What was it...
Millions of hardcore Star Wars ™ (please don't sue me!) fans rush in from behind.
Hardcore crowd: STAR WARS ™ (god, please don't sue) you bastards! You know, Wedge Antilles and Biggs Darklighter, god damn it! Biggs died in the Death Star run just after a speech with Luke in the rereleased Special Edition version of Episode IV: A New Hope! And Wedge is GOD!!!
Wedge: So, is he Biggs, or what?
Hardcore crowd: Um… Uh… Well…
While the crowd is absolutely nuts about Star Wars, not all of them are video game aficionados. A smaller portion of the group steps forward.
Smaller, but still as hardcore crowd: Um, which version are you playing?
Viggs (well, we're not really sure about the name, but please bear with me): Uh... "Version?"
Small Hardcore Crowd: Is this Final Fantasy 3 on the Super Nintendo or the rereleased Playstation Final Fantasy 6?
Viggs: Well, Wedge?
Wedge: I have no idea on what they're talking about.
Finally, the third rider speaks up. She is a young woman with green hair.
?????: You people are fucking idiots. Wedge, read the first line of the script.
Wedge: Oh, well… "Final Fantasy 3-"
?????: There. (pause) Oh right, I'm supposed to be under your control from this "slave crown" that robs me of all conscious thought.
The notion of "Slave Crown" upsets the audience. They stare at "Viggs" and Wedge. Whispers of "pervert" and "ecchi" are heard.
Wedge: Um… I don't do that stuff to our sexslaves – I mean, mysterious magic using "witches." Don't know about Vicks here.
Vicks (formerly Viggs): Hey, that sounds right. That's my name! Vicks!
Small Hardcore Crowd: Finally. OK, our job is done here. Back to the primary mission: Try to fix episode 2!
The crowd of Star Wars ™ fans (holy crap LucasArts ltd., PLEASE don't hurt me. I'm just a college student making extremely obscure references. Don't sue me.) leave and the three mech riders are left alone.
Vicks: Why are we here again?
Wedge: *sigh * Because we need the Esper down there. And (pointing to third rider) "nameless, mind controlled woman" is going to help us blow the crap out of everything down there.
Vicks: Oh.
Wedge: We'll approach from the east. Move out!
The Super NES gets into high gear and displays some kickass Mode 7 with some whompass music from good ol' Nobuo Uematsu. Credits roll, Magitek Armor marches on, Narshe rises from the background, and all the people who played the game back in the day get nostalgic.
(Intro Story)
Three mechs walk to the edge of a cliff.
One of the mechs looks downward.
#1: There's the town.
#2: Hard to believe that an Esper's been down there for the last 1000 years, eh Biggs?
#1: What did you call me?
#2: Um…
#1: Did you call me "Biggs?" That is definently NOT my name.
#2: Really? I called you that yesterday. Heck, that was your birthday. All of the cards read "Happy HB, Viggs!" Hey, wait a second-
#1 (apparently Viggs): What? What the heck are you talking about? The cards did NOT say "Viggs." At least I remember your name, Wedge.
Wedge (formerly #2): Yeah, Wedge is right. But your name, I thought it was Bicks…
Viggs (apparently Bicks): No, that's not my name, either.
Wedge: But, I thought it was Biggs and Wedge. You know, it was supposed to be a reference from that sci-fi thingie… Star Quest, Space Wars… What was it...
Millions of hardcore Star Wars ™ (please don't sue me!) fans rush in from behind.
Hardcore crowd: STAR WARS ™ (god, please don't sue) you bastards! You know, Wedge Antilles and Biggs Darklighter, god damn it! Biggs died in the Death Star run just after a speech with Luke in the rereleased Special Edition version of Episode IV: A New Hope! And Wedge is GOD!!!
Wedge: So, is he Biggs, or what?
Hardcore crowd: Um… Uh… Well…
While the crowd is absolutely nuts about Star Wars, not all of them are video game aficionados. A smaller portion of the group steps forward.
Smaller, but still as hardcore crowd: Um, which version are you playing?
Viggs (well, we're not really sure about the name, but please bear with me): Uh... "Version?"
Small Hardcore Crowd: Is this Final Fantasy 3 on the Super Nintendo or the rereleased Playstation Final Fantasy 6?
Viggs: Well, Wedge?
Wedge: I have no idea on what they're talking about.
Finally, the third rider speaks up. She is a young woman with green hair.
?????: You people are fucking idiots. Wedge, read the first line of the script.
Wedge: Oh, well… "Final Fantasy 3-"
?????: There. (pause) Oh right, I'm supposed to be under your control from this "slave crown" that robs me of all conscious thought.
The notion of "Slave Crown" upsets the audience. They stare at "Viggs" and Wedge. Whispers of "pervert" and "ecchi" are heard.
Wedge: Um… I don't do that stuff to our sexslaves – I mean, mysterious magic using "witches." Don't know about Vicks here.
Vicks (formerly Viggs): Hey, that sounds right. That's my name! Vicks!
Small Hardcore Crowd: Finally. OK, our job is done here. Back to the primary mission: Try to fix episode 2!
The crowd of Star Wars ™ fans (holy crap LucasArts ltd., PLEASE don't hurt me. I'm just a college student making extremely obscure references. Don't sue me.) leave and the three mech riders are left alone.
Vicks: Why are we here again?
Wedge: *sigh * Because we need the Esper down there. And (pointing to third rider) "nameless, mind controlled woman" is going to help us blow the crap out of everything down there.
Vicks: Oh.
Wedge: We'll approach from the east. Move out!
The Super NES gets into high gear and displays some kickass Mode 7 with some whompass music from good ol' Nobuo Uematsu. Credits roll, Magitek Armor marches on, Narshe rises from the background, and all the people who played the game back in the day get nostalgic.