Hey, dears. I'm only updating because I have some of it pre-written. It's not going to be an everyday thing - unfortunately. However, thank you for the reviews!

Aria, it's going to be short. It's a musical performance. I can only do so much. Why can't you be happy with that? :P

TMW, I'm glad I made you laugh! :D That was the objective.

And to my anonymous reviewer, Donut will be coming along later on in the first round. After I finish Tex and Wash's performances, I promise Donut will visit us. :)

I still own nothing. I'm just a poor white kid. _

"Welcome back to Blood Gulch Idol! The show tonight has started off rather explosively," Simmons said as a replay of Caboose dodging Sheila's cannon fire flashed across the screen, receiving a hearty laugh from the audience. "And now I'd like to welcome Sarge."

Sarge ambled onto the stage, much to the delight of some of the audience. They clapped and cheered and so forth. "Afternoon," he said into a microphone. "Let the record show that I am going to win, 'cause no one is renaming my Warthog."

Simmons chuckled. "You bet, sir," he said, sounding like even more of a kiss-ass than usual. "I'm sure you will take the title for yourself!"

"¡Dios mío, alguien dispara Simmons," Lopez groaned. [Good Lord, someone shoot Simmons.]

"I am going to sing a personal favorite of mine," Sarge stated. "It's by a good ol' country boy by the name of Toby Keith."

"Toby Keith is amazing, sir," Simmons said.

"Simmons, get off my stage," Sarge said gruffly. "I can't sing with you standing on my stage."

"Right away, sir," Simmons said sheepishly as he shuffled off stage. Sarge combed his fingers through his gray hair and stood in front of a microphone. He opened his mouth and a southern drawl filled the studio...

"American Girls and American Guys
We'll always stand up and salute
We'll always recognize
When we see Old Glory Flying
There's a lot of men dead
So we can sleep in peace at night
When we lay down our head..."

He took the microphone off the stand and started to walk toward the left end of the stage. The in-studio band started to play a little louder, building the excitement of the song...

"My daddy served in the army
Where he lost his right eye
But he flew a flag out in our yard
Until the day that he died
He wanted my mother, my brother, my sister and me
To grow up and live happy
In the land of the free."

He paced back across the stage.

"Now this nation that I love
Has fallen under attack
A mighty sucker punch came flyin' in
From somewhere in the back
Soon as we could see clearly
Through our big black eye
Man, we lit up your world
Like the 4th of July..."

He took back to center stage as the screen behind him was filled with footage from various wars and the American flag...

"Hey Uncle Sam
Put your name at the top of his list
And the Statue of Liberty
Started shakin' her fist
And the eagle will fly
Man, it's gonna be hell
When you hear Mother Freedom
Start ringin' her bell
And it feels like the whole wide world is raining down on you
Brought to you Courtesy of the Red White and Blue!"

He took a moment to add, "But mostly the Reds."

"Justice will be served
And the battle will rage
This big dog will fight
When you rattle his cage
And you'll be sorry that you messed with
The U.S. of A.
'Cause we'll put a boot in your ass
It's the American way..."

He put the microphone back on the stand as he sang the last chorus.

'Hey Uncle Sam
Put your name at the top of his list
And the Statue of Liberty
Started shakin' her fist
And the eagle will fly
Man, it's gonna be hell
When you hear Mother Freedom
Start ringin' her bell
And it feels like the whole wide world is raining down on you
Brought to you Courtesy of the Red White and Blue."

Fireworks erupted behind him as he finished. "Just r'member," he stated as the audience applauded. "Mostly the Reds."

Simmons was applauding from the side of the stage. He crossed it, exclaiming his astonishment at the Sarge's talent. "Sir, you never told us how good you are," he said.

Sarge shrugged. "I'd like to say that you-" he pointed to the audience, "JUST GOT SARGE'D."

A laugh was received from Simmons before he turned the attention to the judges' panel. "What did you think?"

Sister shrugged. "It was better than the first one," she stated.

Doc was enthusiastically applauding. "Bravo! Bravo!"

"Creo que el rendimiento era débil y la falta prescencia etapa," Lopez said. "Pero, ya que no se chupan casi tanto como furgón de cola, vamos a dejar de pasar a la siguiente ronda." [I feel that the performance was weak and you lack stage prescience. But, since you didn't suck near as much as Caboose, we'll let you continue to the next round.]

"You're damn right I didn't suck near as much as that blue!" Sarge spat as he shuffled off stage. "I ought to rip your circuits out just for saying that my performance was weak. Someone, get me my shotgun!" He ran off stage, looking for anything to beat Lopez with.

Simmons looked nervous as he faced the camera. "Now is a perfect time for a break."

Aria picked out the song: Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue ~ Toby Keith.

Next performer: Our beloved Agent Texas.

-The Narwhal Ninja