See? Didn't I say I'd get this up soon? Enjoy!
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Chapter Two
A Crime!
Peter continued walking all the way to work, since it was in the city that meant that this journey would take MUCH longer. What made him feel worse was that nobody wanted to help him.
"My family doesn't even love me! This must be how George Bush felt during Obama's inauguration..."
---
Crowds were everywhere, cheering at all the members of Congress. They stopped abruptly as their familiar ex-president came along.
"Heeeey everybody!"
They frowned at him.
"Aw come on, ya know your gonna miss me, right?"
"YOU SUCK!"
"Aw, come on now! Is that really any way to act to a person who cared for you over four years?"
A glass bottle was thrown at Bush, knocking him onto the streets.
---
Peter stopped walking and looked down to find a kunai lying on the ground.
"OMG OMFG! I remember seeing this in those cool ninja weapon shows!"
He bent down to pick it up but as soon as he did so, it slid away a few feet. He didn't seem to notice it had a string attached at the handle.
"Oh my god, it must have magical powers! EVEN BETTER!" He continued to follow it as the weapon raced down a hill and by the nearest Bank of America. It had finally stopped!
"AH-HAH! Gotcha, ya little kunai!" Some distance away from him, he did not notice a figure with glasses and gray hair in a low ponytail running towards him and carrying sacks full of money.
"Robbing a bank to get a fat guy in trouble, unbelievable!" He stopped immediately, noticing Peter. "You...! The Kunai Luring Technique worked!"
"Do you wanna walk with me to work?"
In response, the boy threw the money in Peter's hands and ran off. Joe and another policeman appeared from nowhere.
"Look, he has the money! Get him!"
"Oh god, not another Scooby-Doo chasing scene!" Peter said worriedly. The James Bond theme could be heard in the background. "Much better!"
And he was off, running as fast as he could! Joe was rolling past him as fast as he could roll. Her reached out his hands, and managed to grab onto the money while rolling along side. "A CRIME OF LIFE NEVER PAYS, PETER!!"
"I just wanted a kunai, Joe! Like when Hades wanted Persephone to go out with him!"
---
Persephone was sitting on a rock reading, it was a Greek-like scene with her in robes Then Hades came to her on his dark possessed horse.
"Yo, chick! You-me-right now!"
"...What?"
"I mean right now, you and I-"
"Ugh, no!"
"Come on, you can have a horse! Look, I named this one Mickey. Say hi, Mickey!"
"ALL WILL PERISH AND DIE IN THEIR OWN BLOOD. BURNING YOUNGLINGS AND EATING CHURROS!!"
Persephone stared.
----
"Your cutaways won't get you out of this mess, Peter!" Joe said.
"No, BUT THIS WILL!" Peter gave a kick at the wheel chair which toppled over sending Joe on the ground.
"CURSE YOU, GRIFFINNN!!!"
"Mwee-hee-hee!" Peter laughed as he turned a corner. He had been so busy laughing that he didn't realize that he had run right through the wall of Quagmire's, who happened to be reading the usual porn. He stopped and turned to him.
"QUAGMIRE, YOU GOTTA HELP ME!"
"Hey, Peter! Walked in on Louis when she was PMS-ing? OH! Giggity giggity goo!"
"Um...no, but Joe thinks I robbed some blank and he's gonna kill me or anyone who tries to help me! You gotta hide me!"
"Sure Peter, I'll help!"
"Really?"
Thirty-seven minutes later....
Peter was sitting in a jail cell. He looked in the corner where sat somebody who looked like Elmo from Sesame Street.
"Um...so...you Elmo-?"
"NO! I...am Emo Elmo! EMO ELMO!"
"Um, hi there!"
"WHERE'S THE DARN SWIFT-BLADE?"
"Uh-I don't have a swift-blade. I was thrown in here 'cause the police think I robbed a bank. What about you?"
"I was....cutting myself again....and was in pain...Ernie saw me....tried to stop me...but I DIDN'T LIKE IT AT ALL. I DID NOTTTT LIKE IT!!!!! WHY, ERNIE!????? YOU JUST HAD TO MAKE ME GO PAST THE LINE, DIDN'T YA!!??? WHYYYY!!???"
"......Officer, can I make my phone call now?"
---
"Really disappointed in you, Peter." Joe said sadly as he took off Peter's handcuffs at the door of his house.
"Joe, I swear, I didn't rob that bank!"
"Then what were you doing there at the time, hmmm!!?"
"For your information, I happened to find a magical kunai that led me to some guy who looked like Harry Potter!" Peter crossed his arms and smile, as if his story had sounded convincing.
"See you in court," Joe replied rolling away, "Oh, and tell Louis she's a SKANK!!
"OH YEAH!? Well, at least my wife hasn't been pregnant for eight years! THAT POOR BABY COULD BE DEAD BY NOW!"
But Joe was already gone, and Peter was angry. Plus, he began talking to himself again.
"This is unbelievable! Now I apparently robbed a bank? Even had to ask my own Mom to get me outta there 'cause I couldn't face Louis...What could get worse!?"
A thud came as a rock suddenly hit the back of his head and he fell down face flat. A certain 'Harry Potter' looking ninja came running from behind, holding a bucket of water and a brochure. He threw the brochure on top of the body, splashed some water at him then vanished! Peter got up, rubbing his head before picking up the brochure and reading it.
Konoha: THE HIDDEN LEAF VILLAGE!
Where everyone starts there training as a shinobi genin, the chunin, THE JOUNIN!
See the faces of the past five Hokages, including our current one, and apply your children at the Academy to enroll as a great shinobi!
Written to the side in sloppy marker said A GrEaT nEw PlAcE tO sTaRt A nEw LiFe.
Despite not knowing what a shinobi was, a grin appeared on his face-because he new what that last part meant! He hurried inside excitedly to tell the rest of the family...
---
The figure appeared in the room seeing his master, panting in exhaustion.
"Has the deed been done?" asked the master.
"Yes...and I nearly got beaten for it!
"Mwahaha...excellent!"
"NO, THAT IS NOT EXCELLENT. SOME HOOKER TRIED TO HAVE HER WAY WITH ME! AND DO I REALLY LOOK LIKE HARRY POTTER?"
"...Well..."
"...Well, at least I don't look like Michael Jackson AND Lord Voldemort at the same time-"
The servant gave a scream as a tongue shot out of the master's mouth, choking and strangling the thief.
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And there's chapter two for you! Let me explain about those two cutaways. The one with Bush idea, I had when watching that inauguration and noticing how he was trying to look cool. The second, is based on a story we read in LA of Demeter and Persephone and how Hades wanted Persephone to wed him. Next chapter, you'll start seeing more Naruto characters!