Disclaimer: I own nothing.
The Questionnaire
What is your name and age?
Harry Potter, fifteen.
Describe yourself.
Well, I have jet-black messy hair, and green eyes (they say their my mother's). I also have a lightning bolt scar. Currently, I'm in mourning.
Where are you?
At the ministry. I was just possessed by Voldemort. I'm not any more, but I just learned that I have to kill him. Joy.
What are your likes?
Uh… Quidditch, I s'pose. And my friends, Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley, my godfather, Sirius Black, and Cho Chang. Though, I'm not really sure I like her. She's was cheating on me, wasn't she? And she's a horrible kisser. I guess she's off my like list. So forget I ever said her. So, I guess I like Ginny, now.
What are your dislikes?
Voldemort, obviously. And Malfoy (both of them), Bellatrix Lestrange, and Cho Chang. I think I also don't like how Sirius just died. Yeah, I don't like that.
What are you thinking about right now?
How I have to kill Voldemort. I'm in serious mourning about it. I mean, if he kills me first, what will become of this fabulous body? That's right! It'll decompose, and then what heartthrob will the girls have to stare at? And don't mention Ron, Dean, Seamus, Malfoy, Wood, a picture of Diggory, Neville, Luna, Dumbledore, Snape, Flitwick, Crabbe, Goyle, Terry Boot, Ernie Macmillan, my dead father, any of the Dursleys, Mad-eye Moody, or Filch. THEY ARE NOT HOTTER THAN ME, NO MATTER WHAT EVERYONE ELSE SAYS!
What's your favorite saying?
Er- I really don't have a favorite saying. Er, I'll just say 'er'.
Who is the ugliest person you have ever met?
Definitely Umbridge. I really don't know how Fudge can stand having an affair with her. Ew.
How ugly do you think you are?
Not at all. I mean, all those girls asked me to the Yule Ball! I have to be the hottest man on earth!
Would you rather be ugly, or stuck in a standard sized broom closet with seven Slytherins for the rest of your life?
NOT THE UGLY! NOT THE UGLY! NOOOOOOOOOOO! I mean; I chose the Slytherins.
What if you were ugly?
I would jump off the Astronomy tower into a large pool of acid, with mutant sharks with laser beams attached to their foreheads, and the pool is shallow, with lots of jagged rocks at the bottom. Except more painful.
What do you do in the mornings, to keep yourself from looking ugly?
Moi? Ugly? Psh, in your dreams!
What do you wish you could change about yourself?
Nothing! I mean, even though the scar hurts like hell, it's a total chick magnet!
Have you ever been ugly?
WHAT IS WITH ALL THE UGLY QUESTIONS? NO MORE UGLY! IT MAKES ME BECOME FEARFUL, THINKING ABOUT ME BEING UGLY! I ALMOST- NEVERMIND, I ALREADY PEED MY PANTS THINKING ABOUT IT!
AKF or Death Eaters?
AKF? Isn't that the Australian Koala Foundation? They save koalas. WHY IS THERE AN ORGANIZATION SAVING KOALAS? THEY SHOULD BE SAVING ME! DIE AKF, DIEEEEEEEEEE! Take that as death eaters. I would sooner join their ranks than the ranks of those who chose not to save me!
-&-
AN: Like it? Is Harry a bit over the top? Yeah, no insults to those who actually like Harry as a character. I was doing this in the name of humor.