Riley and Maya walked down the street from Topanga's bakery, trying to figure out what they wanted to do for the rest of the day. The two of them wandered around Greenwich Village aimlessly as they bounced ideas off of each other, but none of suggested ideas sounded very appealing to either one of them. Soon, they came across a part of town they had visited nearly two months ago, and a familiar person was walking towards its gates.
"Hi, Sister Mary Beth!" Riley called out.
The nun stopped and smiled as she saw the two girls approaching her. "Hello Riley, Maya. How are you today on this fine day? More sure of themselves, I hope," she said, referencing the last time the two girls had been there.
Maya bobbed her head from side to side. "This one is, me on the other hand… things are a changin'."
"For the best, I hope."
"I'd like to hope so, and they seem to be so far," Maya replied.
Riley's face beamed as she listened to her best friend. "She started praying!" Riley announced with glee.
Sister Mary Beth smiled. "So, is He answering your prayers so far?"
Both Riley and Maya looked at each other and gave the other a smile. "He seems to be so far."
"That's wonderful to hear. Always remember that God is there to help you through whatever is in front of you."
The smile on Maya's face slowly disappeared as she listened to her. "Wait a second. Sister, what are you saying? I'm not sure I'm following."
"God is always listening to your prayers, no matter who they are for. They could be for you family, your friends, people who are suffering elsewhere, or for yourself," she explained.
Maya bit her lip. "But why would I bother God about me?" she asked. "And aren't you supposed to pray for others, Sister?"
Riley nodded in agreement. "Yeah… couldn't it be considered selfish to pray for yourself?" Riley added, thinking of the conversation she and Maya had in the bay window last week.
The nun lightly shook her head and smiled. "Have a seat, girls," she said as she gestured to the bench behind them. They all sat down with Riley and Maya on each end and Sister Mary Beth in between them. "Prayer is a wonderful thing. It alone has the power to bring us and the world closer to God. Now, why would you think that praying for yourself would be selfish? Or why would you think you would be bothering God by praying for yourself?"
Maya and Riley inwardly slumped. The tone that Sister Mary Beth was using was all too familiar – one that Mr. Matthews used all the time in his history class. Needless to say, neither of them spoke.
Mary Beth laughed gently. "It's alright if you don't know. There are many things to learn about faith in general; some questions we may not receive the answers to until we journey over to the next life. Anyway, one might think that you would be selfless in not praying for yourself, right?" Both Riley and Maya nodded. "Okay. On the surface it may seem like that, but in reality you're saying that you don't need help. We always need help getting through obstacles as simple as taking a test. Granted, praying for yourself is not always the easiest, especially when you've been told to put other's needs before your own. But trust me, that type of prayer is necessary."
"But surely God doesn't have time to listen to all of our prayers, right?" Maya asked. "I mean, I know some prayers don't always get answered."
"Quite the contrary, Maya," the nun explained. "You may think that God wouldn't have time to listen to every single prayer because, as humans, we cannot understand anything beyond our understanding of the Universe."
Both Riley's and Maya's eyes widened at this lone statement. "Whoa," they whispered in unison as they realized that no one can understand anything outside our own physical world.
"God is always present," she continued. "In regards to prayers not getting answered, that can be a bit interesting. He could answer in several different variations of yes if He does not tell you no. The first variation is the direct one; you know when it happens and it happened the way you expected it to. The next may be a yes, but it may not happen the way you were hoping. Why is this? Because God knows what is best for us at this present moment. That answer could help set up something later on in life. The final one is when He says yes, but tells you to wait because now is not the time for that to happen."
The two teens were silent for a while before Riley decided to ask, "What if we don't know what we want to say?"
Sister Mary Beth mulled over her answer before she responded. "Ask him to listen to your heart, for you can't find the words. He's the best listener; He can make out the quietest prayer, even if it's one that you can't hear."
Maya bit her lip. "Looks like we still got a lot to learn."
"Everyone does," the nun explained. "That's part of having faith. We're not going to have all the answers."
Riley stood up and faced Sister Mary Beth. "Thank you, Sister for what you've told us."
"Yeah," Maya agreed. "Thanks."
"It was no trouble at all," she smiled. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go to chapel. Have a good day, and God bless you both."
"You, too," the two teens said as they watched Sister Mary Beth stand and head into the gates of the convent.
OoOoO
Maya sat on her bed and thought about the conversation that she and Riley had with Sister Mary Beth as she gazed at the moon outside her window. It was mind boggling to think about what she had said about praying for yourself. A part of Maya's mind still thought it was a bit selfish or greedy to do so, but then again why shouldn't she pray for herself? She was the only one on this earth that knew what was going on in her life. Not even Riley knew all the struggles she faced.
She shifted her focus to inside her room and let out a sigh. Maya knew what she had to do, and she wanted to do it, but she was still scared to do it. I wonder if many people feel the same way, she pondered briefly.
Finally, she let out her breath and looked towards a cluster of stars that poked through the dark nighttime sky.
God – I'm sorry if I'm not the greatest at this, and I'm sorry for not coming to You earlier. But… can you help me throughout the day? Help me to realize that You're there for me? Make sure Riley keeps me in line?
She bit her lip as she tried to think of what else to say, but no words came to her, except what Sister Mary Beth told her.
God, please listen to my heart, I cannot find the words.
A/N: Let me know what you guys thought of it! Good luck on the rest of the semester, and I shall see you guys soon. ~cowgirlangel95