It took Lisanna a whole year to notice, she couldn't believe it.
Gray's birthday was in the early part of spring when the snow was beginning to melt and she remembered that party well. It was a surprise party she had planned after all and the look on his face was probably the happiest she had ever seen him.
Erza's was postponed from June to July because of the S-class exam but when she came back it was a victory as well as a birthday party, which made it twice as fun.
Levy's party was at the end of summer, there was a lot of books and puzzle games. It had almost made her cry laughter watching her friend excitedly flit about between the tables, arms piled high as she desperately tried to carry them all at once.
Everyone's birthday had passed as the months trickled by, each of them with parties just as colourful, fun and unique as the person they belonged to. Lisanna had made sure of it.
But now that she thought about it, someone was missing and as she racked her brain to figure out who, the realization struck her so hard that she nearly toppled over.
Natsu.
He didn't have a birthday party. All this time and it was only now she noticed. Lisanna frowned, she was a bad friend and she had to fix this, no questions asked.
With new year's only days away there was no way this year would end without her knowing her best friend's birthday and to make up for her lack of knowledge.
"Natsu, when's your birthday?"
He stopped drawing on the table - a recent habit which wouldn't be so bad if he used a pencil instead of his flames to sear the image into the wood- to consider her question before simply replying, "Don't have one," and continuing what he was doing.
"But that's not right!" She argued.
The concept seemed so foreign to her. Not having a birthday? That was like saying Happy didn't like fish. It was just so incredibly wrong.
"Everyone has a birthday Natsu, even you!"
"Well then Igneel never told me about it." He replied nonchalantly, not looking up from his task. He doodled on as Lisanna pondered his words in silent shock.
"And they don't really seem all that great," He continued, "I mean it's just a party right? We have those all the time, so it's no big deal if I don't have one."
He propped his chin on his knuckle to focus on her, his other hand still searing his chosen design on the table (which -no doubt- would cause the master to throw a fit).
"I don't care if I don't have a birthday or not." His words were accompanied by a slight shrug.
Lisanna stood in silence, still trying to comprehend the magnitude of someone not caring about their birthday until she wordlessly stepped around the table and slid in the seat next to him. His confusion was as bright as the flame on his hand.
"You should care Natsu because it's really important." Her words were plain but there was a slight edge to her tone. Her gaze was steely.
"I told you it doesn't matter to me."
"But it should!" She protested, "How can you not care? Birthdays are really great! And you-"
"Tell me then."
"W-what?"
"Tell me what's so great about birthdays."
"Well they're, um, they-" Lisanna was stumbling, she couldn't find just the right words to explain how wonderful a birthday could be. After all, everyone she had ever known already knew of its beauty, they all had that secret knowledge.
So how could she explain such an indescribable feeling to someone who didn't even have an idea what it was like, let alone cared?
"Well at birthdays you um-" She started, trying t find good enough words to string together, "Well there's always lots of good food and fun games to play."
"That's like the Rainbow Sakura Festival." He pointed out.
"And you get lots of presents-"
"That's like Christmas too," He pointed out again, taking back to his task of drawing, his focus slowly departing from the conversation.
"Well um..." She was stumbling over her words again. This was getting nowhere but she still had to try.
Lisanna turned to face him fully and tugged on his arm -away from the flickering flames- to get him to face her the same way. She kept her hand on his arm as the fire died down and took a deep breath before starting to form a decent explanation.
"Listen Natsu, it is like Christmas and it is kinda like the festival but it's not the same, because a birthday is way better. At a birthday everyone celebrates you, how much they appreciate you, how great you are and the fact that you're alive and there."
"I can't really describe it but," She released his arm and clasped both hands to her stomach, "you remember how you said it felt like for you to roar? How there was a really warm feeling in your gut and that it would grow stronger, climbing up your throat and then when it left you you'd feel warm all over even down to your toes?"
Her hands rose with her words until they were stretched over her head, fingers splayed and waggling to get her point across. Natsu nodded wordlessly.
"That's kind of what it feels like but better! You feel so warm that you're almost ready to burst!" Lisanna set her hands on the table and took another breath.
"I know I can't explain this the right way but it's the best feeling in the world and I just want you to feel it too."
She focused on his face, set in a blank mask and something flickered past his gaze so quickly that she almost missed it.
It was loneliness, and in that brief moment she understood why he said he didn't care, why he chose to dismiss the idea. He was lonely at the guild.
Sure they all had it rough with their weird backstories and all, but Natsu must've felt like an outcast among them. They all had something they shared, things they could relate to one another.
Except Natsu,raised in a forest by a dragon, away from other people.
And the mention of even having something like a birthday and what it felt like must've reminded him even more that he couldn't share in what the rest of them had.
He got up suddenly- stuffing one hand in his pocket and the other went to his scarf. Natsu averted her gaze, dropping his eyes to the floor.
"You make it sound real nice Lisanna, but a birthday is something I don't got so I won't ever get what it's like." The barely concealed bitterness in his voice almost made her choke.
"Natsu I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"
"I told you already didn't I? I don't have a birthday and it doesn't matter to me, and you can't change that. So just- bye Lisanna, i'll see you around."
He cut off whatever it was that he was going to say with a curt farewell before walking off, hand still clutching his scarf.
She watched him go, the gnawing feeling of guilt growing in the pit of her stomach as he slipped out the doors. This wasn't supposed to turn out like didn't mean to hurt his feelings but that's what happened and Lisanna wished it didn't.
She eyed the still smoking picture on the table and sighed.
It was a dragon, crudely drawn but with enough detail to see the care in its eyes and the brightness of its smile. Igneel. It was the only picture that Natsu ever drew.
The dragon beamed up at her but she couldn't share in its joy, she'd just hurt her best friend after all. And the guilt she was feeling made her want to crawl in a hole.
She couldn't look at the picture anymore.
Lisanna pulled herself off the seat and wandered over to the nearest table, burying her head in her hands, unaware of what was occurring next to her.
A wooden 'clack' broke through her thoughts and Lisanna peeked through her fingers to witness Levy triumphantly dropping her pawn on the board, adding the Master to her list of defeated guildmates at chess.
"That's checkmate Master!" she chirped, "Thanks for such a good game!"
He brushed off her comment, the master could be a bit of a sore loser. "Bah! I let you win this time, next time this old man won't go so easy on you!" He tipped over her King as if to add some strength to his words.
"If you say so..." She gathered the pieces and began stowing them in the case, "But make sure next time I don't take your king with my pawn."
He made a strangled "harrumph" and turned to Lisanna, making up for his lack of a comeback to instead greet her.
" You know that I could surely win the next time right Lisanna?"
She sighed and nodded, her face still buried in her hands. The Master and Levy quickly realized something was wrong.
"Lisanna child," he said, all traces of grumpiness from his loss quickly disappeared. "You're not yourself. What's the matter?"
A moan met his words as she peeked through her fingers once more to look at their concerned faces. "It's not me...it's Natsu..."
Makarov banged his staff on the floor, making both girls jump. "What did he do this time?! Has he been drawing on the tables again?!"
"N-no," She denied quickly," It's just that...I think I made him upset..." She dropped her hands with a frown upon her face as she explained what had happened.
Levy squeezed Lisanna's arm softly when she finished speaking. "You didn't mean to hurt his feelings," she reassured, "You were just trying to do something nice."
"I know but I still feel so horrible about it."
Makarov's expression softened and he did the same as Levy, stretching across the table to squeeze her hand before pulling back with a small, comforting smile.
"Levy is right, mistakes happen and feelings get hurt in the process. You are not at fault here and neither is he. Your friendship is still young so some trials are to be expected. But that boy, to think that even now he still feels alone..."
He trailed off and none of them spoke.
"...This won't do." Lisanna whispered.
The pair shot her curious looks. "This won't do," she repeated, "I have to do something for him, I can't just leave him feeling like this."
"I understand how you feel," Levy said," but that's easier said than done. What are you going to do? And even then will it work?"
She had a point but Lisanna wouldn't back down. Challenging as it might be, she made a mess and it was her responsibility to make it right, for Natsu's sake.
She beckoned to Levy and muttered a few words in her ear. The Master watched as Levy's eyes widened slightly. "Are you sure about that? It could make everything worse!"
"It could but I need to try. And i'm going to need a lot of help for it. Can I count on you?" Levey nodded.
"Master?"
"Of course, just tell me what to do."
She took a deep breath. "Alright. We'll need everyone's help for this, here's what we'll do."
Natsu messed up.
He didn't mean to but he'd snapped at Lisanna and he felt horrible about it. She was just trying to do something nice for him-as always- and he brushed her off. She probably hated him.
Natsu even tried to apologize the day after but it didn't seem to work.
She'd accepted his apology no problem, which made his worry. Lisanna wasn't the type to take an apology like that. When he'd messed up with other stuff she would take days, maybe even weeks, cheekily teasing him before finally accepting his words.
But now it wasn't like that and it scared him more than he liked. He tried to ask some of the other guild members about it but they'd dodge his question, if he could catch them that is.
Since the day after the incident almost everyone had been avoiding him and the few people he'd grabbed had his conversation reduced to a few sentences before they made some lame excuse and ran off.
It wasn't that bad on the first day, but on the second day it got worse. They didn't even try to hide that they were avoiding him. They'd skirt around him whispering about some stuff that he could never hear because they were always out of his range.
Even Happy was in on it.
He'd flit about Natsu's head with a smug little grin like he knew something important and when he attempted to fish the information out of him (literally, Natsu tried to bribe him with a salmon) Jet had appeared out of nowhere and whisked him away before he could let anything slip.
It was annoying yeah, and it kinda hurt, but the whole situation with Lisanna hurt more so he had to focus all his attention on fixing that no matter what.
Natsu pushed open the doors to the guild hall and darkness flooded his vision. He stepped forward regardless, his finger tightly gripping what he held in his pocket.
Even without his sight he could tell who was there.
It was everyone, all crammed so close together their scents were mixed up like a gigantic ball.
And there were some other stuff too, food- lots of it- beer, juice, something really sugary and...wax? He wasn't quite sure about that one.
He heard lots of shuffling and breathing. There was even a hushed "be quiet!" from the table he walked past. What were his guildmates up to?
If this was the New Year's celebration then they sure did it a weird way.
Natsu stopped in the middle of the hall. All shuffling stopped the instant he shouted out, "I know you guys are there! I don't know what you're doing but you better come out right now!"
There was silence (save for the breathing of course) then Gray's voice met his words with a drawl. "Well we might as well give him what he asked for. I told you guys it would've been dumb to hide."
The lights flickered on with a snap.
In an instant everyone was on their feet, jumping out from underneath tables and behind the bar, all with similar grins upon their faces and the same twinkle in their eyes as they hollered the message written in bright and bold letters on the banner strung up over their heads for all to see.
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY NATSU!"
Obviously, he was stunned, eyes blown wide and frozen on the spot as some of his friends rushed over to greet him, crowding him in the process.
"W-what's going on here?"
"It's a birthday party for you!" Levy stated, bouncing excitedly on the balls of her feet.
"But I don't...have a birthday..." he replied dumbly
"Well you do now!" Cana shoved a tankard of orange juice into his hands. It's contents sloshed around, a bit falling to the floor getting on most person's toes.
"Sorry." she muttered
"I still don't..." Levy looped her arm through his and tugged him over to the Master, sitting comfortably on a table. "You don't have to understand right now, just go with it."
The Master greeted him with much gusto, raising his staff high and beaming.
"Happy birthday my boy! May it be a blessed day for you!"
"But Master," Natsu repeated, "I don't have a birthday. None of this makes any sense."
He waved him off. "Things don't have to make sense for you to enjoy them do they? I heard from a little bird that you were lacking in something special and as your master I didn't have it in me to let something like that go unfixed."
"Now nevermind how or why this is all happening. Just understand that all of this," he gestured to everything that surrounded them, "Is for you and all our members pitched in to help. So go! Enjoy the festivities! They are in your honour after all. Let not one bit of it go to waste!"
And with those parting words Natsu was whisked away to indulge in whatever his guildmates had in store for him with no answer to his question and a little bit more confusion than before.
It was fun no doubt, actually the most fun he'd ever had since Igneel left. It made him feel a lot better than anything he'd ever experience.
After Levy tugged him from the Master, she pulled him over to where everyone gathered, around probably the biggest cake he'd ever seen.
Each tier was covered in sugary goodness complete with flickering goodness. It rested on a table to itself while some other tables were pushed together presenting all the food in one mouthwatering line.
Natsu was passed from Levy to Mirajane who proudly stated that almost everything there was made by her and Elfman who shyly stepped to his side with a 'happy birthday'.
A hearty, well meaning push made him stumble before the cake and a cheer erupted for him to blow out the candles, which he did (well sort of, he ate the flames but they went out and that's all that mattered) and sealed the deal with a wish that he was told had to stay secret for it to come true.
Sadly though, he didn't get to enjoy the feast yet. Right as he was about to move in for the kill Levy again pulled him away for something else, presents.
Now of course he'd gotten presents from Christmas just the week before so he expected only a few. What he got instead was a gift from everyone there, and he loved all of them.
Some of his personal favorites were two drawings; one from Reedus in shocking detail and the other from Happ, lovingly drawn with wax crayons.
Both were of Igneel, similar to his own drawing that dotted many tables and - though he tried to hide it- had made him tear up a little. He'd keep them forever.
Oh, and of course he couldn't leave out Erza's gift.
She'd thrown open the doors to the hall after he'd received most of his gifts and apologies for avoiding him (Gray explained that everyone was insistent on it being a surprise even though he told them it would be pointless given his sense of smell and all) panting heavily with sweat streaming down her face.
She'd rushed over to him, apologizing furiously for being late and forced out in a jumbled mess of eager words that she had spent nearly the entire day searching for the perfect gift.
Erza took a step back and closed her eyes. A flash of light overtook her body which he quickly recognized as her requip. When it faded, Erza stood in an armour completely unfamiliar to him.
It was red and orange and black. Her hair parted in two with the twin tails held in place with horned clips. Upon her back rested wings- folded- their tips brushing the floor and the covering for her arms and legs were scaled, trailing down to pointed tips.
She proudly stated that it was her flame empress armour and extended the offer that anytime he felt the need for a fight, she would gladly don the armour and face him.
Natsu almost accepted the offer right then and there were it not for Droy who hurriedly told him that he shouldn't fight on a birthday.
The rest of the day passed by in a blur. A happy, loud, indulgent blur that had him giddier than the first time he pulled off a proper roar.
Even so, Lisanna was still on his mind and as day shifted to night the most he'd seen of her were just glimpses in the sea of heads.
No matter what he just couldn't get close enough to apologize properly.
It wasn't until late in the night when he'd just inhaled his fifth slice of cake and was reaching for the sixth that she had materialized next to him, beaming widely.
"Lisanna!" He froze in his cake assault. "Where've you been? I've been trying to get a hold of you since-"
"Are you enjoying your party?"
"Well yeah but there's something I need to talk to you about." His tone was more serious than he intended but this was serious, wasn't it?
Her eyes dropped slightly and her smile seemed a little less brighter than before.
"I figured you would," she murmured, "but could you hold onto it for a bit longer? There's something else for you before the party really ends."
Natsu opened his mouth to ask 'what' when she pointed to the doors where people were slowly but surely filing out.
"It's almost midnight, which means fireworks. Normally we'd set them off for the New Year but this year they're for you too."
Her eyes were still held low when she offered her hand for him to take, which he did. Curiosity gnawed him as to why Lisanna was being so down but chose not to say anything yet, following dutifully behind her out the doors like everyone else.
The crisp night air was a welcome change from the stuffy (albeit delicious smelling) air of the hall which he inhaled gratefully.
Lisanna was silent as they followed the small crowd to the clearing in Magnolia and remained silent when they took a seat in the grass alongside the others. Some of them chose to simply stand.
If he remembered correctly it was about thirty minutes to midnight and everyone was patiently waiting for the fireworks show.
Well, almost everyone.
A few eager magnolians who couldn't wait until it was time let loose their own personal ones. The sky was lit up every few minutes with brilliant pops of colour.
"Those look awesome." he said, awestruck.
"They are. I can tell you though that ours will be more awesome."
A ripple of excitement went through the crowd of guild members and magnolians alike when Wakaba and Macao showed up, each grunting under the weight of a wooden crate.
They wasted no time in preparing, pulling off the covers in one go and took out colourfully patterned rockets, each one slightly larger than the last.
Set out on the soil far from everyone else, all that was left for them to do was wait. A shout from someone made the time known; ten minutes to go.
Natsu eyed Lisanna next to him, she went back to silence after that comment on the fireworks and it was growing more uncomfortable the longer it stayed that way.
If he was going to apologize now was probably the best time to do it.
"Lisanna," he began," I, I-"
"I'm sorry."
His voice died in his throat when she uttered that soft apology. He found it again moments after.
"Why're you apologizing?"
"You're mad at me aren't you? You didn't want any of this and yet I still went through with it. I just wanted-" her voice cracked, "I just wanted you to not feel different from the rest of us. I even saw how upset you were but I ignored that hoping that maybe all of this...would help with something."
"I started off wanting to do something nice for you and I ended up messing that up too."
She buried her face in her palms, something she did when she was particularly upset, mumbling out another apology.
Natsu's hand hovered uncertainly over her shoulder, a little bit confused at the situation's sudden turn. It stayed there for a couple seconds -Lisanna unmoving- until he let it drop heavy, shaking her slightly.
"What are you rambling about? I'm not mad at you. I though you were mad a me!"
She peeked through her finger. "Me? Mad at you? Why would you even think that?"
"Well the last time I saw you was after I stormed out of the guild," he admitted sheepishly, "I thought you were mad at me because of how I snapped at you."
"But I'd accepted your apology then."
"Yeah! You don't normally do that, you usually tease me before that happens. I thought you were still mad!"
Lisanna perked up now. "I was never mad. I was busy getting everything together for the party," she explained, "As my apology for making you mad. And it took longer than I thought too, even tonight I still had stuff to work through."
They both stared- wide eyed and slightly dumbfounded- at each other.
The call went out again, two minutes to go.
"Sooo," she began, "you were never mad at me?"
He shook his head. "And you were never mad at me?" She shook her head.
The two let out matching sighs. Natsu dropped his hand from her shoulder to the grass, pulling up a few blades.
"This was all a really big misunderstanding." he muttered, amazed. "We're dumb."
"Yup."
" I even went through all the trouble of making you a present." He mused, absently listening to the growing murmur of anticipation as the second ticked away.
Lisanna blinked. "You made me a present?"
"Well yeah, it was supposed to be my last ditch effort for you to forgive me." he said, rummaging through his pocket.
After a short while he produced something. It was crude in its design and hastily made but she could easily see what it was.
"You made a bracelet for me?" She asked surprised as he handed it over.
Turning it over in her palms she took in the little details like the rough cut of the stones and how they scraped against her skin, how some of them glimmered with soft blue light while other simply shone and how a simple black cord looped through melted openings, holding the pieces together with a sturdy knot.
"You remember that time we got lost in the forest? And we found that really big rock with the crystals in in?" He watched curiously as she carefully observed his present. "I remembered how much you liked it so I broke off a couple pieces and made that for you."
"Do you...like it?"
Lisanna grinned, quickly pulling it onto her wrist with a twirl so that it clacked and sparkled in the light.
"Of course I like it Natsu!' She exclaimed. "But i'll admit, if this was your apology present i'd only half forgive you."
She shot him a mischievous look and chuckled at the disbelief that crossed his face.
"But this actually worked out good for us you know. Really weird, but good."
Natsu cocked a brow. "Now we know that if we ever mess up bad in the future we'll both try to make it right."
A similar grin blossomed on his face- broad and dimpled- as he happily nodded in agreement.
The whispers that were passed around with bated breath disappeared quickly, replaced with exhilarated cheers when Macao finally brought his hand alight. The purple flames were held close to the fuse, making them crackle to life.
Most of those who sat rse to their feet, joining in the chant of the year's final seconds. All voices- young and old- melded in the air with each growing shout.
"10, 9,8,7,6-"
"Hey Lisanna"
"5″
"Yeah?"
"4″
"I think I know that feeling you were talking about now."
"3″
"I'm glad." She leaned against Natsu, shoulder pressing into his. "And Natsu,"
"2″
"Yeah?"
She fiddled with the bracelet, her eyes found the stars.
"1″
"Happy birthday."
"Hey birthday boy!"
Natsu's head whipped around to see Macao beckoning to him. "Come on over here and light the rest of these!"
He jumped to his feet in an instant, eyes twinkling.
"Don't do anything stupid." she warned
"I won't."
One round (well actually a lot more than that) of explosions lit up the sky. When each flare of colour died down another flew in to take its place until there were none left. That was when Natsu made his way back over to her, and it was more than his eyes that were twinkling.
He was trembling, violently. He could barely hold his hands steady. His pupils were blown wider than they should on any person and his hair - thoroughly singed- had sparks dancing through the thick locks.
"What did you do?!" she groaned.
"I a-ate the last firework." He stuttered out, a toothy grin plastered on his face.
"I said not to do anything stupid!"
Natsu coughed out a puff of black smoke, breaking his grin. He swallowed thickly and it returned bigger and brighter than before. "W-worth it."