Lilly

Chapter 2

I want to go now. I want to start my life again. Maybe I can make things the way they were.

However, the teen knew this was impossible, being that her Hannah persona could never be out of the public eye. The teen closed her eyes. It all seemed so hopeless. Everything was shattered.

I can't give up. Hannah pulled her tired, weak body up, her mind scattered in an ocean of clouds. I can't give up. The teen dragged herself forward, inch by inch.

Lilly walked to school on a Friday morning, her face stained with blush, heavy red lipstick, eye liner, false eye lashes, and anything else she could use to hide herself. As always, the teen was wearing a provocative outfit, which today consisted of a pink long-sleeved top, a black leather skirt over her pink leggings, and black boots which went up just past her ankles. The days were getting longer, and feeling good about herself was getting more difficult.

"Hey, Lills," Amber greeted Lilly, running over to her.

"Hey," Lilly greeted back, her voice a little down.

"Wanna get bombed tonight?" Amber asked, her joking side showing.

"I don't think so," replied Lilly. "I'm kinda down. And you know how drinking gets me."

"Well, what's up?" asked Amber, showing a trace of concern.

"I don't know," answered Lilly. "I've just been getting down lately. Hey, I'll catch up with you later." The blond departed from her friend.

Amber stopped, and watched her friend leave. The two always used to walk to school together. Something was definitely wrong.

The blond girl walked on, her mind wandering aimlessly. What's wrong with me? she wondered. When did my life go over the deep end?

Lilly's entire life had been fairly superficial. Her only concerns were what she would wear, whether she'd quit smoking or not, or some other stupid problem she created for herself. Something was missing. That's why she started drugs and drinking: to fill a void she felt deep in her stomach. But they never worked, and the void always came back. Sometimes it drove her crazy, but since she didn't know to do, Lilly tried to accept this about her life. Romance was never something the teen longed for, since she couldn't be bothered with other people most of the time.

Finally, Lilly stopped walking, looked at her school, thought for a minute, then turned around and walked the other way. It just worth it today. She couldn't deal anymore.

Let me out! The teen charged towards no where, trying so hard to escape her prison. Breaths became harder to take in. Lilly! Daddy! The teen's anger and energy began to fade. The limbo grew cold. Hannah felt her body grow numb as an icy wind chilled her to her bones. The teen breathed heavy, trembling breaths and held her shoulders tight, trying so hard to shield her body from the merciless cold that threatened to end her. It can't end like this. Hannah fell onto her knees, trembling even more than before. It burned so badly. Breath turned to steam writhing out of Hannah's cracked and numbed lips. Tears formed in the blond's eyes, but froze when they hit her cheeks, causing them to sting her face. Lilly...I'm sorry. I've ruined everything. The teen's vision grew blurry, but she managed to see her friend. Everything was wrong. The teen closed her eyes, and let her body frost over, powerless to fight it anymore.

Lilly ran through town, catching the eyes of confused and offended men and women on the sidewalks. Tears burned in her eyes, seeping out of her closed, pink-painted eye lids. I hate my life, she thought, the reality of her sentence like a knife piercing her stomach.

Hannah opened her eyes, and found herself curled up atop her bed: not the bed she knew as Miley, but a red fabric bed with heavy blankets with the initials "H.M." in large yellow and blue letters. The room was large, and covered with warm orange colors. Trophies lined large shelves along the walls, as did gold and platinum records, and other superficial reminders of Hannah's fame. It all felt wrong. This wasn't the life she used to live...Miley was dead now...she had to accept that. Dad?

"Yes, angel?" replied Robbie Ray, gently sliding the door open.

Uh, what time is it? This all felt wrong.

" About 10 a.m." Robbie answered. "Ready for your concert tonight?"

...Always ready, Daddy.

"I just hope we don't get any stoners or drunks tonight," added Robbie. "I'll make sure you're safe, though. Love you, hun."

Uh, Dad, wait...Where's Jackson?

"Jackson left, Hannah," answered Robbie, his voice growing sad. "Remember?"

Oh yeah... This is a nightmare. Not Jackson. It's all my fault. Sorry. I just...I've been feeling kinda out of it.

"That's alright," replied Robbie, his voice comforting, but not as comforting as it used to be. "Rest up." The man closed the door.

Hannah dropped back on her bed, threw a pillow over her face, and cried. She was out of limbo, but this place was worse.

Soon, the memories appeared in her mind: not real memories, but fickle illusions put there in her new life. Jackson had left when Hannah turned 13 and reached the peak of her fame, feeling he was just people's way of getting to her. The reality hurt.

I didn't mean this. Jackson, I'm sorry. Hannah pressed the picture of Jackson she dug out of her closet to her heart, and laid down on her bed. The two had a terrible parting, or so the memories told her, and she had all but forgotten her brother. I don't want this life anymore. Tears began to stream from the girl's eyes.

"I'm a whore," Lilly declared, gravely as she stared at herself in the mirror. "A slut. Nothing but a piece of eye candy for a bunch of guys who don't even know me." The girl went into the corner of her dark room, folded her legs so her knees were to her chest, put her arms atop her legs, and buried her face in her arms.

Heather opened the door. "Lilly," she said. "Why aren't you at school?"

"I don't feel good," replied Lilly, her voice grim.

"...Okay," Heather replied, not wanting a confrontation to arise, since Lilly didn't seem like she needed more drama. "Feel better, hun." The woman closed the door gently, and walked into the hallway.

Lilly buried her face again, and cried. This isn't my life, she thought. I hate this.