If you've figured out where they are, congratulations. If you haven't, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? In the mean time, Naruto is still not mine despite repeated attempts to buy it. Apparently five dollars isn't enough for them. However, I have managed to purchase a knockoff Naroodoh while in New York. The fine people there also sold me several totally genuine Rolex watches for only a fraction of the price! And people say they aren't nice there.

"Oh. No." said Neji, staring around him.

"This can not possibly be happening." said Sasuke.

"Sweet mother of all chakra!" yelled Sakura.

"My god, it's full of smiley faces." said Mika in awe. For lo, they had found themselves in a place they had sworn never to even speak of again, so horrible was it. Camp Yay Happy Fun Extra Smiley Land, also known as the Valley of the Smiley Faces, Camp of Doom, That Place With the Weird Really Long Name, and For the Love of God Help Me There's A Counselor Gnawing On My Leg. As if to accentuate the horror, a familiar face appeared. A peppy blond camp counselor with a scarily cheerful smile and perky voice.

"Hi new friends! I just know we'll all have loads of fun together!"

"Nooo! I thought we already vanquished her! I like my internal organs, please don't eat me!" yelled Kankuro.

"Hee hee! You're so silly!" she giggled. "The old counselor with, ummmm, a few silly little quirks was Deb. I'm Debbie!" she said giggling. Everyone moved back with a convulsive shudder.

"Oh yeah? Well that doesn't explain why we're here!" snapped Kiba, mustering enough courage to take a step forward.

"Why, I just made myself a summoning scroll for all of you of course!" said the counselor unrolling a long scroll with all their names, her name, some generically mystical symbols, and whatever the heck else goes on a summoning scroll. They all stared.

"Hang on a sec, I'm supposed to be the smart one, and I say you can't summon people!" said Sakura. "You can only summon giant sentient snakes, and, um, frogs, and slugs...and...yeah...You know what just go on."

"Well anyway, like I said,. I have this super fun summoning scroll, so you guys get to stay here all summer long! Won't that be fun?"

"Ah ha ha, yes, fun." said Temari stepping away.

"But. Umm. You know what? We haven't been here in a while. So. We need to. Um. Go reorient ourselves! Yeah. So we're just gonna all go way over there. Way way over there." said Sasuke pointing.

"Okay! I hope you all remember where your cabins are!" said the counselor. They all forced grins onto their faces (Gaara looked like he was about to rip someone's throat out, Sasuke and Neji appeared to have just had painful root canals, and Kabuto looked slightly unhinged) then ran for it as soon as the counselor turned.

"Okay everyone, we need a plan of action here!" said Mika. "Sure the counselor is able to summon us at any time, but other than that, what are our advantages here? Surely our respective teachers will notice we're missing and come rescue us right?" There was a collective "ummm..." from the group. Mika slapped a hand over her forehead. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Yeah, well, technically, no." said Sasuke. "Kakashi got tired of us interrupting him from reading his "special" novels and ran off, and told Tsunade to send us of on some wild goose chase."

"Yeah, to go help some guy from, the coffee country? Something like that, with some stupid race."

"The Tea country. Believe it!"

"Yeah, that."

Meanwhile

"Hello? I'm being menaced by a guy with an umbrella and a few morons in straitjackets with breather masks! Shouldn't there be some ninjas here to reunite me with my long lost brother and help me win the race and stuff? Hello?"

"Dude, we're filler. Nobody cares about us,"

"What? Filler! Dammit they promised me a place on the main plot!"

"Hey, don't look at me. I wanted a part in Inuyasha. But nooooo. Be in Naruto they said. It's so popular! You'll be a star in no time! And now looks at me, playing second fiddle to a girly boy with an umbrella."

"Hey! I heard that! Don't insult the umbrella. My mom says it's cool..."

(This will probably make more sense if you've seen episodes 102-however long that pansy race filler arc goes on. Filler episodes, grrrr. But anyway, back to the plot!)

"Oooookay, so no help from Kakshi. Will anyone be looking for any of the other groups from Leaf?"

"Sorry, Asuma sent us off on a troublesome survival trip in the wilderness to "hone our ninja skills. He'll expect us to be gone for days." said Shikamaru with a shrug.

"Kurenai sent us off on a vacation, she won't expect us back for maybe weeks." explained Kiba.

"Gai will probably think we're just off on "youthful exploits." muttered Neji.

"Okay, so no help from Konoha. Okay, how about you guys from Sand? Won't anyone come looking for you?"

"Do I really have to answer that question?" asked Temari.

"Yeah, thought so. Um. Kabuto? Any help from your side?"

"No, Orochimaru told me he was doing something very important and sent me off for a few days so I wouldn't disturb him. I don't know what he's up to but its probably something very intricate and time consuming." said Kabuto.

Meanwhile, back at Orochimaru's hideout...

Orochimaru looked around cautiously. Yes. Everyone was gone. He went over to his bookshelf and cautiously pulled out something that had been hidden behind the bookshelf and slipped it out of it's case. Then, he slipped the video into the TV.

"Allright everyone!" said a cheerful voice as a happy looking woman in a leotard and sweatbands appeared on the screen. "Welcome to Tighter Buns in Thirty Days! Are you ready! We're gonna start with some leg lifts! And left two three, right two three left two three now come on! High kick! Good, keep going! Right two three" Distracted by the loud bouncy exercise music Orochiamru never heard the door open.

"Hello? Orochimaru? It's Kisame. I'm returning that cupcake pan Itachi borrowed from you last sleepover. Hello?" He turned towards the source of the music. "Oh, he must be in there. Hey OrochiOHMYGOD! It burns! It burrrrrrns! The pain!" The cupkcake pan clattered to the floor as Kisame fell over trying to claw his eyes out from the sight of Orochimaru doing high kicks in spandex. Orochimaru turned around.

"Hey, what's wrong with my outfit? I like spandex. I got it from a nice guy with a bowl cut and huge eyebrows! Actually, he said he'd be along later if you want to meet him. But really! I like it so much, I think I'll make it my official uniform! And maybe with some purple bows..."

Meanwhile, back at camp, Sasuke suddenly shuddered.

"What's wrong Sasuke?" asked Sakura.

"I just had this horrible feeling that someone was going to make me wear a really fruity outfit!" he cried in horror.

"Oh Sasuke, that's just silly! It's not like you would ever wear anything like a man skirt, or a big purple bow or anything!"

"Yeah, you're right Sakura. That would just be ridiculous."

"Okay people, enough talking about Sasuke's wardrobe, let's talk tactics here!" snapped Temari. "And there's nothing wrong with purple..."

"Well, lets see. We're stranded here at camp demonspawn, nobody is going to know we're gone for at least several days by which time the trail will be cold, and the counselor is able to summon us from anywhere at anytime." Anything else?" asked Gaara sarcastically.

"Aww, is someone being a mister grumpypants?" asked Mika, pinching him on the cheek.

"Are you trying to get yourself killed?!" snapped Kabuto.

"Nah, he's so angry he can't decide what to kill first." said Mika, pointing to a twitchy Gaara, who had an angry gleam in his eyes. "By the time he snaps out of it he'll have forgotten the whole thing."

"Funny, because there's a ton of sand heading your way." said Kabuto nonchalantly.

"What? Agh!" she manged to leap out of the way into his arms, and instead the huge pile of sand landed on Lee with a whump. Underneath was heard a muffled "Noo! Why did the power of youth not protect me?"

"Would you let go of my neck now? It's making it rather hard to breathe." said Kabuto.

"I'm considering it." said Mika. "But barring that, the thing we need to do is get that summoning scroll and destroy it. She won't be able to make another, so we'll just run off and there won't be anything she can do."

"That seems reasonable." said Neji reluctantly. "But how do we do that?"

"In the morning." interrupted Ino. "It's getting dark outside and I'm cold, and I need my beauty sleep. Besides, everyone knows you can't think as well when you're tired."

"Wait woman, are you seriously proposing that we go to sleep leaving ourselves vulnerable in a unexplored territory known to be hostile?" snapped Kankuro.

"Yep."

"Oh. Well then. Um. I guess that sounds allright then."

"Actually I am kind of tired. Which way were the cabins again?"

"That way. I really hope they remodeled the boy's cabin."

"Me too. Preferably with more beds so I don't have to sleep under one of them again."

"Oh stop whining."

"I was kidnapped by dust bunnies and forced to slave in their dust mines until I could escape."

"Oh that's nothing. This one time I"

"Hey guys, do you think we're forgetting something?"

"Well normally with a stereotypical question like that I would go back and look, because that would naturally mean that we ironically enough left something important behind and won't discover it until we need it and the situation bites us in the back in a comical fashion. However, I'm too tired for that. There's nothing that can't be left until morning or another person doesn't have twenty of, considering the only thing we had when we left were our weapons."

"Dude, you only carry twenty weapons?"

Meanwhile, back behind them, ironically and totally unexpectedly, Lee had been left trapped under the pile of sand.

"Nooo! Why is my youth not enough to move this pile of sand! Youth, why have you betrayed me? I would shake my fist at you were it not buried under ten feet of the object I would be shaking it at!"

Heh. Lee ended his sentence with a preposition. Shame on him!