Beca isn't able to sleep. After googling how to plan a funeral, looking up local florists and funeral homes, answering work emails, and trying to work on a new mix, she pulls her headphones out. She can hear something, an unfamiliar sound, down the hallway. She checks to make sure that Chloe is still asleep. She is passed out, after being awake for nearly twenty four hours.

Beca tiptoes down the hall, eyes squinted to make sure she doesn't trip. She peeks into Lucy's room, the next one over, but the bed is empty; it hasn't been slept in at all. Beca's heart beats a little faster. Then she hears a muffled, "No." She looks into Daniel and Sheila's bedroom.

"Lou?"

Her sister is asleep, tossing and turning, in the middle of the bed. Beca moves to the edge of the mattress. when she tries to put her hand on Lucy's shoulder she almost catches a hand to the face.

"Lou, wake up. It's a nightmare."

She shakes her until her eyes blink open. It takes her a minute to realize where she is and that it's Beca sitting with her, not her mom.

"It was just a nightmare. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

She pushes herself off of the bed and walks out of the room. Beca watches her go then looks around the room; it doesn't feel right being in here anymore. She can't say that she ever spent any time in this room before, but it definitely doesn't feel right now. She fixes the bed and turns off the lamp before leaving the room, making sure to close the door behind her.

Lucy's bedroom door is now shut, a gentle glow from her light coming out from underneath it. Beca thinks about going in. She thinks about trying to comfort her, but there's no use. They're stuck in this weird in-between and there's nothing to do except wait.

At some point during the night Beca is able to sleep, because the next thing she knows, she's waking up to the smell of bacon. She can hear music from the top of the stairs, but there's no singing accompanying it like there normally would be. Chloe is standing over the stove, still in her pajamas.

"Morning."

"Hi baby, you got some sleep."

Beca nods, pours herself some coffee and sits at the island.

"Lou come down yet?"

"Haven't seen her."

"Are we sure she's still in her room?" Beca asks, half joking.

"You don't think she would have snuck out do you?"

Beca wants to smirk but can't seem to get her muscles to work.

"No. But I'm not sure we'll see her unless I go up there and drag her out."

"Are you going to?"

"Why should I?"

Chloe puts food on plates and places them on the table. She leans over and kisses Beca's head.

"Because she probably shouldn't be alone right now, and she needs to eat."

There's a long pause before Beca speaks through teary eyes.

"I don't know what to say to her."

"There isn't much to say, but no one should be alone at a time like this. And today is going to be a busy day, there's a lot to figure out."

Beca knows she's right. She just wishes she wasn't the one left behind to deal with it.

She climbs the stairs and knocks gently on Lucy's bedroom door. She doesn't get a reply so she pushes the door open. Lucy is sound asleep in the middle of her bed. Beca takes a minute to actually look at her for the first time in almost half a year.

She's changed a lot since the last time she saw her. She's twelve now, and getting tall, well tall for a Mitchell. She has beautiful honey brown hair, lightened by the sun. Her skin is perfectly tanned, and her freckles are more prominent on her cheeks and arms than they will be come wintertime. Her and Beca look almost nothing alike, she takes after her mom. Beca has seen photos from when her stepmother was young and they are nearly identical.

She's wearing one of their dad's Barden t-shirts and shorts, revealing bruises and scrapes on her legs. She was always adventurous and more daring than Beca ever had been. She's an athlete. She prefers outdoor activities, something Beca never understood.

She moves to the edge of the bed and rests her hand on Lucy's hip. She speaks quietly, she doesn't want to startle her awake.

"Lou, wake up, kid."

Lucy's features scrunch up but she doesn't make any other moves.

"Come on, wake up." Beca says with a gentle tap.

Lucy rolls onto her back and groans. She rubs her eyes and lets out a cough.

"Good morning."

She's met with Lucy's vacant stare.

"Chloe has breakfast downstairs and we have a lot to do today, so you should get moving, okay?"

"I'm not hungry."

"I know what you mean. You still need to eat."

Lucy nods and rolls out of the bed. Beca gives her privacy, going back downstairs to try to force down something to eat. When Lucy appears in the kitchen she is wearing what looks like workout clothes with her hair pulled back into a ponytail. Beca's stomach churns at how little she is. The bags under her eyes and the redness on her cheeks, rubbed raw from wiping tears away, are the unnecessary reminders of how terrified she must have been, how scared she must still be.

"Good morning, Lucy." Chloe greets her.

Chloe and Lucy have spent a good amount of time together. When Beca and Chloe started dating they used to go to dinner at Daniel and Sheila's once a week. They would take Lucy out for dinner, or to a movie, or mini golfing. Beca was always a good big sister but Chloe made sure that she treated her sister with patience and understanding. The fifteen years between them leaves a lot of room for distance. Not to mention, Beca's mom's hatred for Sheila; and in turn Lucy. It always made Beca staying in Georgia for holidays a nightmare.

"Morning."

Lucy sits in the chair across from Chloe and takes a piece of toast, dry, with some water. It's all her stomach can handle right now. She feels like at any moment she could vomit. She sips the water and rips the piece of toast up to make it look like she's eaten at least some of it.

"We'll be meeting with the funeral director today. We need to figure out the arrangements for the wake and the funeral, as well as a reception or something after." Chloe starts.

Beca gives a pointed look to Lucy, who once again has her eyes shut tightly. She is picking at the skin around her fingernails until Beca takes her hand in her own and rubs her thumb over the knuckles.

"Lucy, do you want me to see if you can stay with Mrs. Reed today?" Chloe asks.

"No, I wanna go with you guys."

Beca looks like she's about to protest but thinks better of it. She knows that Lucy is already waist deep in the situation. She's dealt with more of it than Beca has at this point. So she decides that letting her tag along to the meetings and listen in on the phone calls couldn't do more damage than what's already been done.

"Your parents have decided to be cremated."

Greg is the funeral director at the funeral home down the street from Barden. Beca had attended a funeral there a few years ago, one of the professors from the school. She hadn't had him as a teacher but Chloe did. They went out of respect for him and his family; Chloe's idea of course. Beca doesn't remember it feeling so menacing. It smells musty and the maroon carpet feels thick under her sneakers. She is sitting across from him in his office. Chloe has her hand tightly grasped in both of hers. Lucy is sitting slightly behind them. Beca can't see her face but she can picture perfectly the confused expression on her face when she meekly asks,

"What does that mean?"

Greg looks taken aback, he looks to the girls, hoping they don't leave him to answer the question. Beca thinks about it but Chloe jumps in before the silence can go on for too long.

"Cremated means they don't want their bodies buried." Chloe says.

"So what do they do with them?"

"They burn them, Lou."

Beca turns and the look of devastation on her sister's face is a kick to the gut.

"We'll get their ashes. It says they want them spread on Walker's Ledge, wherever that is."

"We used to go hiking there. That's where Dad proposed."

Beca nods and turns back around. They talk about the arrangements, pick times for the wake and funeral. Daniel had almost everything in order, pre-arranged so it makes it easier on the girls, but Beca still feels exhausted by the end of the day. When they return home there are flower arrangements, cards, and meals left scattered across the porch.

"We won't have to worry about what we'll eat for a while."

Chloe tries to fill the silence. She pushes a casserole into the oven before pouring two glasses of wine and joining Beca on the window seat in the corner.

"Should I go check on her?" Beca asks, chewing on her bottom lip.

"Give her a little time. I'm sure she's fine."

"You're the one who said she shouldn't be alone." Beca snaps.

"I meant like all the time. She may need a little while to process everything that happened today."

"We all do."

Chloe runs her fingers through Beca's hair, she gently scratches at her scalp. Beca rests her forehead against Chloe's shoulder and takes a few deep breaths. She feels like a rubber band about to snap. She's being pulled in all of these new directions and she feels completely and utterly lost.

"I got a call from my dad's lawyer today." She says, muffled into Chloe's shirt, "He said we have to discuss the estate and their wills. I'm meeting with him Thursday morning."

"The day after the funeral, that soon?"

"He said the sooner the better. Besides, we're going to have to get back to New York."

"Baby, don't rush yourself. Theo said to take all the time you need."

"I know, but I don't really want to spend any more time here than I need to. Being in this house, surrounded by their things, it makes me feel," She shakes her head, "I don't know. It makes me feel itchy."

Chloe opens her mouth to speak but before she can say anything the doorbell rings. Chloe hops up to open it. On the other side, Emily is standing, shifting her weight from foot to foot.

"Em, what are you doing here?"

"I'm sorry, I know I should have called first, but I heard about Dr. Mitchell and I-"

She's cut off by Chloe pulling her into a hug.

"I'm so glad you're here. Thank you for coming."

"Of course, how's Beca? And Lucy, how is she?"

Chloe pulls her gently inside. She closes the door and before she can turn around she hears Beca's sobs. Emily pulls her into a hug and they stay, wrapped up together, for a long while. The rest of the house is silent except for Beca's desperate inhales and sniffles.

"I'm sorry, Beca. I'm so so sorry."

"Thank you."

They finally pull apart.

"How's Lucy doing?"

"Honestly, I don't really know. I think she's alright."

Emily nods and accepts the glass of wine from Chloe when they go back into the kitchen. She sips it politely but honestly she feels like she could be sick. The entire time that she's known Beca she has always been the composed one. A little awkward at times maybe, but always too cool to show any semblance of emotion. She feels like she's intruding but when Beca grips her hand in her own she knows that she did the right thing by showing up. She sits with them for a while, idle chatter filling the air but it feels forced.

The oven beeps, Chloe pulls out the casserole.

"Do you want to stay for dinner?" She asks, standing on her tiptoes to reach the plates from the cabinet.

"I can't, I have class, but thanks." She looks at her watch, "I should probably get going actually."

She gives Beca one more hug and leaves.

Chloe goes up the stairs to find Lucy. She has her door closed, the same light as before pouring out from the bottom. There's a sound that Chloe can't quite make out until she gets closer. It's Daniel's voice. He's talking excitedly about the works of Mark Twain. Chloe knocks on the door and hears a quiet, 'Come in' before she pushes it open.

Lucy is laying, curled up in a ball, with her laptop open. She has one of Daniel's lectures playing. She quickly pauses it when she realizes that it's Chloe, not Beca.

"Sorry."

Chloe swears there's a slight blush on her cheeks. She waves a hand before she sits on the edge of the mattress.

"Don't ever apologize for remembering them, any way you can."

"I had to break into his account to access these, since I'm not a student."

Chloe smirks. This is the kind of behavior she's always associated with Lucy; sly and intelligent. Normally it would be accompanied by her beaming smile, but tonight she has a look Chloe can definitively say she's never seen on her face; a look she knows she's going to be seeing a lot of.

"Lucy, I can't even imagine what you're going through. But there is someone who can. You're not alone in this."

"I know. I just don't really wanna talk about it. Not right now."

Chloe notices her picking at her fingers again. The cuts are moving further down her fingers, leaving her skin an angry red color.

"Well, you don't need to talk right now, but you do need to eat something."

She reluctantly follows Chloe downstairs. She sits next to Beca at the table and pushes the food around on her plate. She scrunches up her face but when Chloe or Beca look at her she hides it. She doesn't want them to force her to eat it.

The rest of the night is quiet. Beca and Chloe sit in the living room. The television is on but neither of them are paying any attention to it. Beca is zoning off, into her thoughts. Chloe doesn't take her eyes off of her. She's afraid that if she does, she'll disappear altogether.

Lucy has gone back up to her bedroom. She tries to fall asleep but every time she closes her eyes she sees her parents' faces. Every time it gets too quiet she hears their voices. It's enough to drive her crazy so she puts her headphones in and turns the music up until it hurts. She curls up under her blanket and evens her breathing.

Beca wakes up to Lucy having another nightmare. This time she's screaming, sobbing, she's thrashing around in her bed. Beca sits on the edge of the mattress and grips her hands so she doesn't hurt herself.

"Lucy, wake up. Lou, wake up."

She doesn't calm down, she doesn't wake up, so Beca does the next thing she can think of. She climbs into the bed, under the blankets and pulls her tightly into her chest. She settles eventually and falls back into a fitful sleep. Beca looks to Chloe who has been standing, stuck in the doorway, unaware of what she should be doing. Beca nods and Chloe walks out of the room. Once she hears the door down the hall close she allows her own tears to fall. She isn't doing this alone, she knows that, but it is still going to be the hardest thing she's ever done.