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Harry Potter and the Posr Prepz Stone
Rating:
T for the raping of English language and plot abuse.
Pairings: None for now.
Summary: Harry Ja'mes Potter is goffik. There, I said it. Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, My Immortal style! Contains Mary Sues, Goffiks, plot twists, and Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way.

Author's Note:
Well, chapter 2, eh? I feel like I having been raping the English language after writing the first chapter. Please forgive me, I am but a poor posr prep. That's my catchphrase now. Instead of saying, 'I'm sorry.' I say 'Please forgive me. I am but a poor poser prep.'

Let the insanity continue!

"OMGWTFLOL who r u?" Harry scremed, leaping bac as a figur stepped in2 da livin rum.

"I am Hargard, keper of keys at Howarts n grunds keper. Also imma goffick," da man named Hargrad replyed. "Mah fav bandz r MCR, God Charlotte and any other goffick bandz. i luv- oops i men hat- hilary duff 'cus shes a prep."

harry smild wif delite. "Finaly a goffick!"

Den Vernin n Peanut walked in da rum!

"Oh btw harry ur parants didnt dye in da kar krash lyke we said," Peanut casualy mentioned. "Meh," harry said.

"however… dey weren't goffick!1!11111!"

"GASP!" harry gasped.

"Dat's outrages!" Hargarid roared. "JA'MES AND LILY POTTAH WERE DA BEST GOFFICKS IN DA WURLD! APART FRUM EBONY DARK'NESS DEMENTIA TARA RAVEN WAY!"

(Me:... WTF…)

"oh few i waz worried der 4 a sec," harry sihed wif relif. "Fangz."

harry grined at hargrad. "Geddit, 'cos im goffick?"

" LOL ROFL LOL ROFLCOPTER UHFYEUBFG74UYRBFGT654UBUVGFT!111!2!" (I love writing in My Immortal. You just hit random keys, and that should be counted as English haha. (I'm insane!)) hargrad lafed.

"Oh wat horgots, dat's da posr prep plac dat keepz on sendin me leterz. der stalkers." hary protested.

"oh no der cool, itz da prepz u gotta look out 4."

"Ah," Harry said looking down to his foot. "So… shall we go?"

Hagrid nodded. "Unless they object to it," he said, pointing at the Dursleys.

"I GIVE YOU NO RIGHT TO-"

"Let's go!" Harry laughed sexily and skipped outside in a gothic manner, with Hagrid (Or was it HARGRAD?) following behind, leaving the three Dursley's behind.

Peanut and Vernon glanced at each other. Dudley scratched his butt, but to his surprise he felt a tail there.

"OMFG WTF IZ GONG ON!" Dudley screamed, holding his buttocks while jumping around (That, my friends, is how the dementor show that they want to mate.)

Den a deminta cum in!11111!1!2!#36537856

"Oh. You're not Harry Potter. And this is the wrong book," the Dementor said before hovering out.

Vernon shook his head and turned to the camera.

"This is the end of the chapter."

Peanut frowned at her husband. "What?"

"I don't know what just came over me."

Chapter 2, peeps!

I gave up the My Immortal talk for a while there.

Why? Because I lost brain cells! I might be getting dumer wifout relizin it nd ild haf 2 blam tara (Not u taras u rox gurlz!) 4 dat.

That ending was random. It didn't make sense.

Oh!

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