A/N: For this one you really have to have seen and heard this if you haven't already: since is a bitch about links, try searching "dramatic reading, breakup letter" it's a YTMND

I HATE YOU

"What's this?" asked Xiahou Dun when Cao Cao handed him a slip of paper.

"I just noticed you and Guan Yu didn't seem to be getting along so well, so I thought maybe you'd be able to work things out better through letters," explained Cao Cao that tone of voice which indicated his statement was more of an order than a request.

Xiahou Dun would never disobey his kinsman and commander, but he made sure his displeasure over the idea was known by snatching the letter out of Cao Cao's hand with a grunt. His cousin just smiled and left Xiahou Dun to read the letter on his own.

Dear Xiahou Dun

I feel like we got off on the wrong foot. You're a pretty tough guy and I really enjoy our sparring sessions. I think we could be friends. Why not give it a try?

Guan Yu

Xiahou Dun scowled and scrunched up the letter in his hand. He knew that warrior would always be loyal to Liu Bei, and therefore always a threat, even if Cao Cao couldn't see it. Stomping off to his quarters, Xiahou Dun immediately whipped out a piece of paper and sat down to write a scathing reply.

Dear Loser, [Guan Yu]~~~~~!

You might say we can be friends but you know how much i hate you i know what your game is you may swear you'll serve Cao Cao now and he thinks he can persuade you to stay, but even when you will fight for him you're really only loyal to Liu Bei. I hate you, and guess what, so does my brother Yuan, and even Zhang He hates you even though he's such a fruit. I know as soon as you see Liu Bei again you'll run straight back to him. You say we could be friends we're not, we're enemies, and when we spar i want to kill you and i don't care what Cao Cao says you make me touch your hand for stupid reasons and get up in my face I HATE YOU I HATE YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THIS DAMN WORLDDDDDDD id rather be friends with Dong Zhuo your so damn IMBA! Then saying you and to be friends! back stabbing son of a whore! I HATE YOOOOOOOOOU

Bye shit face i have better things to do than write you stupid lettters