AN: This is a really long chap bcz I can't really split it up. The song is Stay by Sugarland and it is five years after the last chapter. I am trying to italicize the song lyrics, but if it doesn't work just know that the short lines are songs. (the first sentence is the song then its a paragraph then song again and it stays to that pattern so hopefully you can tell)!!!
5 years later
I have been sitting here staring at the clock on the wall
You were here, lying next to me. Our breathing was ragged. We had just finished, for what the fifth time? We were happy. Well, I though we were. We were together. I thought that would fix everything. Us being together.
And I've been laying here praying, praying she won't call
I remember begging that she wouldn't call. You would be on top of me and all I could think about was that I hope she wouldn't call
It's just another call from home
Home. It should be here in this penthouse apartment; with me. Instead it's a nice house in the suburbs. It's filled with your three kids, a golden retriever, and your wife.
And you'll get it and be gone
You'd tell her that it was another late night in the studio. You'd tell her that Darius is breathing down our necks. The album needed to be finished. That you'd be home soon. You'd tell her you loved her as you pulled on your boxers and you'd tell her goodbye right before you kissed me on my forehead.
And I'll be crying
I'd be a mess. My hair sticking to my skin and a blanket covering my naked flesh. Tears drenching my face and my mouth opened to fight. Like always.
And I'll be begging you, baby Beg you not to
leave [i/]I'll start to yell, but you will pull me in
for a kiss and say "I'll tell her. I promise. Then, it will be
just you and me! Together forever!" I would believe you and kiss
you back. And I think I'm dying What do I have
to do to make you see Why don't you stay I'm
down on my knees
But I'll be left here waitingBut,
then you would get off of me right before things would heat up. You'd
leave with a peck on my cheek and an "I love you." I
believed you and said that I loved you too.
With my Heart
on my sleeve
Oh, for the next time we'll be here
Seems like a
million years
It's never enough. I craved you. I needed
you. Well, I thought I did.
She can't love you like me?
I'm so tired of being lonely
I didn't realize I was alone. I didn't realize I had no one. Everyone left. I thought I could survive with you. I thought I could be happy and the luckiest girl in the world. All I needed was you.
Don't I give you what you need
I'd go back to questioning myself as I walked into Gmajor. I would wonder what she gives you as I saw you and her walk in together from my seat in the studio. I would wonder what she does for you that I can't.
When she
calls you to go
There is one thing you should know
We don't
have to live this way
You would come up to me in the studio and we would whisper. We would talk about our future. You would tell me how many kids we would have and what our house would look like. I would eat it all up. I would try and hide the passion I felt for each thing you said. For each promise made.
Baby, why don't you stay
In the studio I would think that you were gonna stay with me forever. I thought that you would leave her. You would do it that night. And we would be together forever.
You
keep telling me, baby
There will come a time
When you will
leave her arms
And forever be in mine
I thought you would never have to leave me again. You would be with me until the end. We would be happy and create a perfect little family in the perfect house. Together.
But I don't think that's the truth
I never thought you were lying. I always believed you. I never doubted you.
And I don't like being used and I'm tired of waiting
Look where it got me. I was 22 years
old. And I was alone. I was waiting for you. For you to leave your
wife and your family and possibly your job for me. I was waiting.
It's too much pain to have to bear
I would hurt so bad. But,
then when I was with you I felt perfect. The hole was gone with
you.
To love a man you have to share
I believed that I had to share you for now. I believed that I would be rewarded for tolerating our affair. For allowing you to have both of us.
Why
don't you stay
I'm down on my knees
I'm so tired of being
lonely
Don't I give you what you need
When she calls you to
go
There is one thing you should know
We don't have to live
this way
Before you would leave I would remind you. I would remind you of our future.
Baby, why don't you stay
I would remind you that you could have it all. We could
have our future... if you just stayed. You would laugh and say that
day would come soon. "Don't rush it," you'd say as you left
me on my bed naked. As soon as the door to my apartment would shut
the tears would began
to fall.
I can't take it any longer
I thought I could handle it. I was at your wedding. I was at the kids' baptisms. But, I continued to sleep with you. I thought I could handle seeing you two kiss and cuddle at Gmajor. I thought I could handle baby-sitting your kids. I thought I could handle being known as the single 22 year old who had nothing better to do than babysit her nephews.
But my will is getting stronger
And
I think I know just what I have to do
Today, I figured it
out. I was drinking coffee and watching you two through the window
and it hit me, what I needed to do. For me. Not for
anyone else.
Not for you, for me.
I can't waste another minute
Did you even see me sprint out of Gmajor? Or were you two busy kissing your wife?
After all that I've put in it
I've given
you my best
Why does she get the best of you
I
realized I didn't do anything wrong to you. The worst thing I did was
have an affair. I gave you all of me. You were my first. What
did
I get?
So next time you find you wanna leave her bed for
mine
Why don't you stay
I'm up off my knees
The
only thing I prayed for today was to get the strength I need to talk
to your wife.
I'm so tired of being lonely
Maybe she will forgive me. Maybe she will leave you and I will have a sister again.
You can't give me what I need
When she
begs you not to go
Then again, maybe she will allow you to stay with her. As long as you feed her more lies maybe she will let you stay with her.
There is one thing you should know
It doesn't matter though.
I don't have to live this way
Because "I'm done" is the last thing I will ever tell you. As soon as I hit the send button we are done. As soon as you see the text on your phone you'll come over and beg me to forgive you. You will try and fill my head with broken promises. Not anymore. I am done. Never again will I be the one that sleeps with you. From this moment on you will only have Sadie.
Baby, why don't you stay, yeah
Until I talk to her. Then, maybe
you won't have anyone. But, it doesn't matter.
Because I am done.
