A/N: Here's it. Thanks for the followers and favourites. :) Admittedly this is 100x faster than my pace for Change, but I am feeling stressed recently so. Lol.
I am well aware the first chapter was rushed, but if you read it carefully and slowly I guess it wouldn't sound that rushed? That's what I did anyway...orz The first chapter was an unofficial prologue, but I'll still call this chapter chapter 2.
–
Sawada Nana tried to keep up her strong front even as the doctor broke the news to her.
Yume. Tsunayume, her daughter. Her only, precious daughter had lost all her memories due to a car accident. Her hands curled into fists, as she tried to hold in her tears to no avail. A flash of hatred strike her heart like a poisoned dagger, and Nana instantly wrenched it away. She didn't need hatred. Not now. Not when her daughter is lost and confused and in need of her.
Nana tried to focus on the positive side. She always did. It makes her days brighter, and she took the phrase 'ignorance is bliss' very seriously. Laughter is the best medicine. At least her daughter is now awake, and out of the ICU. Her heart jolted when she remembered the time she received a call from the hospital dead in the night, telling her that her daughter's heart had stopped beating...
She mustered up a tearful smile.
"Thank you, Doctor."
And that's the only thing she can think of, because the doctor in front of her had saved her daughter from (not even the brink of) death itself, and she is thankful.
She stood up with as much grace as she could muster after breaking down in front of a stranger, and wiped her tears with her handkerchief. The doctor watched with cautious wariness, probably all too used to seeing patients' family break down after being the bearer of bad news.
"Would you like to see her?" He offered.
Nana nodded, and the duo proceeded out of the office. Stay strong, Nana commanded herself.
The walk to the hospital room was far too short, and the next moment, they were in the bland hospital room Nana had gotten familiarised with two months ago. Ever since the car accident.
"I'll leave you two alone," the man clad in white coat left the room, sliding the door shut behind him.
The muted thump of the door closing sounded finalised, as if reminding Nana that yes, she is facing her daughter – someone who does not remember her any more – a stranger.
The girl in question is on the bed, her head turned towards the window directly opposite the door. Through the misted glass from the rain, she could see caramel brown eyes reflected from it. The girl turned to look at her visitor, her face blank but mildly questioning.
She could still remember the times when those eyes were bright and twinkling, when the lips were always ready to stretch into a winning smile, when those hands were ready to stretch out and feel the wind -
(Until Nana realised, they were all fake. All of them.
She was hurting, all the while, on the inside. Hurting, hurting, and hurting... Hurting so much, so so much – that she had to cut herself – to let out the bleeding – to make the inner hurting stop -)
((And she, as a mother, never realised.))
Nana gave her best smile.
"Hello, Yume."
It was obvious that the older woman was told of the younger girl's memory loss.
Her eyes scrutinised Nana with a scary sort of non-recognition. Tsunayume averted eye contact.
"Hello," she mumbled.
Stay optimistic, Nana chanted in her mind, as much as she was breaking down inside.
It is a start. A new start, at least. At least...at least... Nana took in the frail form of the girl, who is still too interested on a spot on the floor.
At least she talked. It's...
Nana's heart crumbled.
It's a start.
–
Truthfully, I have absolutely no idea how the fuck I ended up as Sawada Tsunayume in the small town of Namimori, Japan.
But because I hate being in the dark, I need some information. At least some theory. Who is Sherré Langlois? That's me. I mean, I have her memories, I am her. I felt what she went through. I am her. I am Sherré Langlois.
((Are you really? Or are you just a Sawada Tsunayume who lost her memories, and got Sherré Langlois' memories?))
(Shut. Up.)
And somehow I ended up as Sawada Tsunayume.
The last thing I remember is being in a tunnel, and...there was a rope. A rope extending down to me from the opening of the hole. I wanted to get out, so I grabbed onto the rope.
...Then I let go.
And in the end I decided I actually really want to get out after all so I jumped to grab the rope.
Then I woke up as Sawada Tsunayume.
So... my brain ran for possibilities.
What if the tunnel was actually death?
What if Sherré Langlois did die? I died, and I had a choice whether to stay dead or be alive. Again. Then the rope...the rope was the deciding factor. When I grabbed the rope, I remembered the adversities I was going through in life. I didn't want to go back and live again after getting reminded that I will be returning to such troubles. So the rope... the rope is testing my will to live. My determination to go back into the living?
Obviously my will wasn't that strong.
But... Calliope. Calliope's words rang through then. I did want to live after all? ...In a way, I would hate getting pushed around just because of some social and domestic and...argh whatever problems I had.
And I decided I wanted to live with that fickle-mindedness of mine, and jumped to grab that rope to escape.
Then I ended up as Sawada Tsunayume.
Why?
Did Sherré Langlois' – my body die? That's why another chance in life is to be Sawada Tsunayume? Then did I kick Tsunayume's soul somewhere? Or was she dying too, and we swapped souls? Or she died or gave up or didn't grab that fucking rope, and my body died and hers didn't so I ended up in her body?
I gripped my hair in frustration, still feeling a little surprised when I see brown hair instead of black.
Whatever. If this is the second life I get...
Then I am just going to have to live it. Live it well, and keep to myself. Utilise this chance well and do what I want to do but never got to do as Sherré Langlois. And this time...this time, I will not get tricked. I will not be so gullible to let those kind of people trick me.
Friendship.
An excuse for others to make use of the weaker ones.
–
"Tristabel, I made the posters. Do you want to see them?"
"Ah! So pretty! Thank you! Thank you so much, Sherré! No one has ever helped me this much..."
"It's nothing... Besides, it's also for the class." She giggled.
"You are a nice girl, Sherré."
–
"Hi, Evelyn, Tristy!" I greeted zealously, grabbing books from my locker as fast as I put other books in. Tristabel smiled.
"How was your TLEP?" I wrinkled my nose, and shrugged. "It was fine, except the only thing I remember is when the teacher told us the origin of the language of Japanese."
"Oh, what was it?" Evelyn asked, interested. Tristabel closed her locker, and we began walking towards the cafeteria.
"Ah, it's – hi Grace!" I bounced up to her and gave her a hug. Grace patted me non-too gently on my back as a greeting. "Can you join us for lunch today? Or are you with Matthew again?" Tristy teased, hooking her arm with Grace's. Grace flushed.
"He has classes. I am with you guys today." We all grinned.
"So as I was saying," I started, "my teacher said that the origin of Japanese was actually formed by prisoners of China. Apparently the Chinese didn't have enough space for all the prisoners, so they shipped them off to Korea, Japan et cetera. Then the prisoners communicated by changing the sound and appearance of Chinese characters..."
We made our merry way to the cafeteria. It was as usual.
A normal day, when I still thought it was a good dream.
–
I stepped into the bedroom, feeling much like a stranger in it. Sighing, I closed the door behind me. After staying in the hospital for another week of observation, they had finally let me out. My...Tsunayume's mother – my mother brought me home, and left me upstairs to acquaint myself with my own room...again. It was awhile before I could bring myself to step into this room...that was not my room.
A kotatsu lies in the middle of the room, with a medium-sized bed in the corner. I carefully sat on it, observing the cupboard placed at the furthest corner in the room. A study table is settled right at the window, with a chair on wheels. Unfinished homework and books littered the table. I wrinkled my nose – letting a sign of displeasure pass my indifferent mask.
There's no bookshelf, and the walls are light pink.
I sighed again, moving to the table and opening one of the desk drawer. Papers were hurriedly stuffed in it, and I picked one out only to twitch at the big red '5' in the upmost right corner of the paper.
So apparently, this girl Tsunayume, isn't really that smart. Or tidy. She's girlish, unkempt, and distracted. Having a study table right by the window is almost like placing an unmovable excuse to be distracted by birds and bees outside.
I placed the test back into the drawer, not bothering to close it. Moving to the cupboard next, I prepared myself before opening one of the drawers.
Dresses in any and all shades of pink and red and pastel met my eyes, and I held in my reflex to gag. Too. Much. Pink.
Trying another drawer, I found (thankfully) shirts that are white in colour. Unfortunately, that comprised of 3% of all the shirts. The rest of the shirts are in too-bright colours. I picked up a neon pink shirt in disgust. Uh. No.
Before I could go on to rip off the posters of bands I have never heard of pasted all over the room, a voice sounded.
"Yume! Time for dinner!" I left the posters alone (I will come back for you, you little shits) and went downstairs to where I remember the kitchen is.
I hesitantly sat down when the bright cheerful woman waved me over. I uttered a soft 'thank you' as she settled a plate of dish down in front of me. After a few moments of bustling around, she settled down in front of me with her own plate too.
She smiled.
"Eat up!" She said cheerily. I took a bite of the Salisbury steak, feeling a little too conscious of how she's looking at me eat.
"It's nice," I commented absent-mindedly. It really is nice.
"It was your favourite," I paused, then continued in the motion of delivering the piece of steak into my mouth. Cut, stab, bring it to mouth, chew, swallow, repeat.
"Y-You should eat too," I cursed my stutter to the ends of hell, "I don't feel comfortable eating alone..."
"Ah, right. Sorry, Yume," she smiled, her voice thick, almost like she was about to start crying. I kept my head low and focused on the food. I don't know her. But she's my mother now. She's trying to get close to me again. It's hard – it's hard for a mother to lose their child in this way. It's probably even worst than having Tsunayume die in the car accident.
Guilt stabbed my heart.
If only I didn't become Sawada Tsunayume.
"Mama will eat now," she started on her steak, and both of us pretended to not notice the salty tears of – mother's – falling.
"I am so glad you are okay, Yume." She said quietly after awhile.
I cast my eyes downwards, feeling a little too guilty for the good-hearted woman in front of me. The next mouthful of steak was slightly harder to swallow than before.
"I am sorry...kaa-san." She looked up, surprised. I forced myself to look her in her eye. No more running away. I decided to live this well, after all.
"I...can never be the Yume you once knew," I nervously varied the strength of the grasp I have on the knife and fork in my hands.
"Even still, I wish to be able to become someone you can recognise as your daughter again." She looked as if she was going to start crying again, and I panicked.
"Uh...don't cry," I mumbled. Don't cry, like the time that little boy was crying for Sherré.
"I'll really try hard, so... a-actually! I feel more refreshed, like I can start anew and stuff..." I quickly added, regarding the steak with panic. Oh damn...crying woman alert...
A warm laughter made me raise my head to see the sight of the relieved woman. Kaa-san smiled, tears in her eyes but no longer crying.
"I am so glad, Yume, really." She got up, moved over and hugged me. I stiffened, but relaxed soon enough and wrapped a careful arm around her.
"It's okay, it's okay if you can't be the Yume as before. It's okay...it's okay. You are still my daughter. You will always be my daughter. Always. Thank you for telling me how you feel, Yume." She hugged me tightly.
I quieten down, letting her sniffles override the silence of the house.
"K-Kaa-san. The steak's going cold."
She laughed airily. I decided I like her laughter.
"Oh yes, of course, Yume."
–
"And...Kaa-san?"
"Hmm?"
"I think my favourite food is Salisbury steak, after all."
–
A/N: This chapter ended on a more light-hearted note. Well, I don't know. Please tell me what you think of this.
Don't expect fast updates lol.
This is such an exception it can be called once in a blue moon in a blue moon in a blue moon. Because it is so rare it deserves three blue moons.
Tell me your questions and thoughts of this chapter please! Is there too much of _? Is there too less of _?
Dolce x.
EDITED: 171115
HAHAHAHAHA I WANT TO BECOME A DIGIMON TAMER