Chapter 2

Dorian glanced among his companions. Iron Bull and Sera were nearly throwing themselves at him they were so excited, while Cullen had made himself smaller than Dorian had thought possible. It seemed best to start with an enthusiastic participant; show the others just how fun and relaxed the game could be.

"Sera," he said, his eyes locking on the elf.

She squealed with delight. Iron Bull clenched his fist tighter on his mug. "Careful there, Bull," Dorian warned. "It would be good if you could wait your turn without breaking the tableware."

Bull just snorted, and Dorian found himself smiling at the Quinari's frustration. It was nice to rile him up for once, rather than always having it the other way around. The man looked particularly cute when he was frustrated…not that he was cute otherwise. Doiran forced his attention to Sera and considered different potential groups of three. Start positive and simple. Let them get the hang of it.

"Our Inquisitor, our Ambassador, and our Spymaster."

Murmurs and laughter spread around the table as Sera's eyes widened. "Oh! This'll be easy, yeah? Marry Josie, shag Leliana, kill…wait, no. I don't like this. Can I just shag all three of them?"

Dorian and the others laughed. "I'm afraid not, my dear. Rules are rules."

"Right. Bugger." Sera put her elbows on the table and lay her head in her hands in an unnecessarily exaggerated thinking pose. He intensely creased forehead, however, gave away her sincerity. "Right well I've always figured Leliana is a good shag, but she's kinda creepy, right? So I don't think I'd want to be stuck with her. Josie's a good'un, but she's so flippin' serious all the time. Lavellan, I mean, elves aren't my thing—too tiny and all that—but you said we didn't have to do it a whole bunch if we married 'em, yeah? And she's down with a good prank and all that, so…marry her, shag Leliana, and kill Josie. Sorry, Josie."

The reactions of the group were generally ones of laughter and approval. Only Blackwall seemed unimpressed, his arms crossed as he let out a disgusted, "Hmm." This response, though not loud, contrasted enough with the other commentary to attract attention.

Sera shot him a glare. "What's up your arse?"

"I just think you'd have to be insane to choose Lady Josephine to kill."

"Oh really? Look, I like Josie, but this ain't as easy as it looks. You wanna give it a try?"

Blackwall shrugged.

"Alright," Sera started, taking his noncommittal response as a challenge. "Your turn then, Mr. Grumpypants. Josie, Vivienne, and Cassandra."

The group reacted appropriately amused and surprised. Blackwall didn't flinch.

"Marry Josephine."

Dorian chuckled. "My, that was fast." He wasn't the only one at the table raising an eyebrow. There had been talk of a mysterious admirer leaving flowers on Josephine's desk, and it seems they may have discovered the perpetrator.

"She's the perfect woman," Blackwall explained. "Beautiful, intelligent, kind, and graceful."

Varric smirked. "Someone's thought a lot about this."

Blackwall ignored the comment, though his cheeks possibly reddened slightly; it was hard to tell under all that hair.

"Vivienne and Cassandra…" Blackwall mused. "Alright, Sera, I'll admit. This isn't easy."

Sera smiled. "I know, right? They're both so scary."

This comment sparked chuckles around the table. Though Varric laughed along with the others, Dorian noticed that his eyes remained strangely serious. Unusual for the good-natured dwarf. Dorian suspected he knew why.

"Bed Cassandra, kill Vivienne," Blackwall finally said. "I don't know what sort of fade stuff mages get up to in the bedroom, and I have no intention of finding out."

Dorian laughed the loudest at this. It wasn't the first time he had heard such comments. "I'd be happy to show you, Blackwall. There's nothing to fear. Just spells, demons, spirits, fire…the usual."

Blackwall's eyes widened for half a second before crinkling with mirth as he caught on to the joke. "Oh yes, fire in bed. Sounds safe."

"Everyone wants you to think that Kirkwall's chantry was blown up by a….misguided mage," Varric said, a hint of sadness in his voice despite the joke. "But really, these two mages just got a little too enthusiastic…"

Varric elaborated on the story, setting off the group again. By the end Iron Bull was banging his fist on the table, and Dorian found he had tears in his eyes. When they finally settled down, Blackwall was already scanning his eyes over the crowd.

"Krem," he finally decided. "You're attracted to women, right? Or…well, I don't want to assume anything…I'm not really sure how it all works. Sorry."

Krem gave him a friendly smile. "No need to apologize. I know how it works for me, but I've never met anyone else like me, so maybe it's different for others. All I know is that—"

"—He's into the V, not the D," Bull interrupted loudly.

Krem grimaced. "Thanks for that, Boss."

The moment could have been awkward, but Blackwall moved on with a surprising amount of tact. "Right, so just like me, then. In that case…"

As Blackwall considered possible trios, Dorian felt his respect for the man grow a little. He'd done unspeakable things in his past, and as soon as the Inquisition was over he'd be devoting his life to a losing cause, but he was surprisingly accepting of new things. When Dorian had finally shared his sexuality with him and the rest of the Inquisition, Blackwall had merely thanked him for his trust. Just like many others of his generation, he was often confused by more "modern" (despite them, in reality, having been around for centuries) identities such as men who preferred the company of men or women who were born with male anatomy, etc. But unlike the judgment his peers, such as Mother Giselle, put on the things they did not understand, Blackwall simply asked questions and then whole-heartedly accepted the new information. He had such a checkered (stained, really) past himself that it made sense he accepted others' differences so readily.

"Scout Harding, Arcanist Dagna, and…" Blackwall glanced around to assure himself that the tavern was empty. "…that bard…what's her name? Mary?"

"Maryden," Sera corrected. "She's a right good bird, she is. Her song 'bout me's the best."

"Yeah, Maryden," Blackwall continued. "Harding, Dagna, and Maryden."

"An interesting group," Bull said, his eyes twinkling. "I wonder what all three would be like at once…"

Blackwall cleared his throat. "I…uh…doubt they'd be up for that."

"I was joking," Bull said with a frown. "Just because I actually sleep with people instead of hiding behind presents and letters, doesn't mean I don't respect them."

Blackwall lowered his head, though Dorian couldn't tell whether it was out of embarrassment from Bull's mention of his crush, or from shame of his quick judgment. Perhaps both. After a moment, he raised his eyes again to meet Bull's. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have presumed."

Bull's face instantly softened. "It's alright. I shouldn't judge your…methods either. How about you compliment the ladies next time you see them, and I give Jo…I mean, whichever mysterious woman you're pining for, some inside tips on Quinari politics?"

Blackwall smiled and nodded, and this time Dorian was sure he was blushing.

"So uh…I'm still up, right?" Krem asked.

Attention immediately moved back to Krem and his decision as everyone assured him it was still his turn. Krem leaned back in his chair, smiling as he considered his choices. "Two dwarven redheads and a singer, huh?"

Blackwall shrugged. "I was just trying to throw out some new names."

"No, it's fine. They're all good options…you're right that this is tough. I know Lace the best, having been with her out in the field. She's nice, cute, an impressive scout…but Maryden's voice…" Krem whistled, words evidently not enough to express his opinion. "Wouldn't mind falling asleep to the sound of that every night."

The group nodded and murmured in approval. Krem thought for another moment, and then shook his head. "That voice is nice, but Harding's about everything you could ask for in a woman. Marry her, sleep with Maryden, and kill Danga."

The crowd reacted as usual, though this time Varric let out some disappointed clicks of his tongue. "Kill the dwarf…what a surprise."

Krem sat up straight, "Hey, I said I'd marry Lace! The problem's magic, not dwarves. Growing up in Tevinter…magic's not really my favorite thing, and that's Dagna's passion, right? She's cute, but I don't think we'd have much to talk about."

Varric laughed. "You don't have to justify your answer to me, kid. I'm just teasing. Besides, as far as I can tell, Dagna's basically knowledge-sexual. Never seen her take any romantic interest in anybody, but when she's studying magical artifacts, I always feel like I need to give her and the glowing thing a minute alone."

"Exactly!" Dorian exclaimed. "That's been my impression, too! She's the first woman I've ever met who gazed at enchanted armor with the adoration she should be giving me."

Bull grinned. "You know, if she's into studying stuff that's rare and unusual…maybe Krem's her perfect match. She could study you all night."

Krem groaned and playfully threw a napkin at Bull. It missed, instead hitting Varric straight in the face.

"Oh, now you're attacking dwarves, too? When will the racism end?"

They all laughed, all except Dorian. He was distracted, already knowing exactly who Krem would choose to go next and smiling at the thought. They had played it safe so far, but that wasn't the point of the game. He had a strong feeling things were about to get…interesting.