Author's Note: This is set between seasons 4 & 5 and does not include anything which happens during the final season (as I've not seen it yet). I am aware of things that happened during season 5 but this story will not be going that far ahead... yet...

Please let me know thoughts as to whether I should continue...

Peter "Buffer" Tomaszewski cried out as he woke from another nightmare, to find he had wrapped his sheet around his arm, effectively trapping himself and temporarily cutting off the blood supply to his left hand. A groggy glance at the neon green numbers on the bedside clock told him that he had been asleep for 3 hours, and that it was time to get up and start getting ready to go out. Untangling his arm from the damp sheet, he dragged his tired body out of bed and stumbled down the hall towards the bathroom, where he proceeded to run himself a nice hot shower. Hands pressed flat against the cold tiles, he let the hot water cascade over him and closed his eyes, the heat helping to soothe his aches and work out the kinks and knots in his muscles. He remained there, relaxing and revelling in the caress of the water, for several minutes before taking a deep breath and pushing himself away from the wall. He washed quickly, making sure he shaved off the day old stubble, and grabbed a bite to eat as he got dressed. He knew he'd probably end up having something at Jester later, something fatty that he'd have to spend the rest of his shore leave working off, but he needed a base for his planned heavy drinking session. He brushed his teeth and rinsed with a new mouth wash he had picked up earlier in the day, deciding he liked the strong minty taste, then grabbed his wallet and keys. Shoving bits and pieces into the pockets of his shorts, he drew in several deep breaths and allowed the mask of "Buffer" to envelope him, tucking the damaged psyche of 'Pete' safely away and becoming the confident and slightly brash sailor his friends knew and loved. With a quick look in the mirror, his lips quirked into a lopsided grin and he headed out the door towards the pub, whistling a jaunty but off key tune.

As soon as he entered the bar "Jester", Buffer heard rather than saw his crew mates; in particular he could clearly make out Spider and 2Dads having a friendly argument about women, much to the obvious amusement of the women sat at the table. He rounded a corner and saw them all gathered at the large corner table/booth that they tended to occupy whenever they visited this pub, which was on a very regular basis. Although not currently serving on the Hammersely crew, Nikki "Nav" Caetano, Rebecca "Bomber" Brown and Billy "Spider" Webb were all in town and had jumped at the chance to join them for a catch up. The only faces missing were the new bosun "Dutchy" and Josh "ET" Holiday; the former was injured, his injury being the reason Buffer had been temporarily reassigned to Hammersely, and the latter had lost his life over two years before, shortly after proposing to Nikki and telling her he was leaving the Navy to be with her. A lump formed in his throat as Buffer thought of ET, the strong words they had had regarding Nikki, whom both men had been in love with at the time. In some ways, he could never forgive ET for the pain that Nikki had gone through after his death, and the pain she had carried with her each and every day since. But in other ways, he knew that ET had loved Nikki with all his heart and would have done anything for her, and she for him. It was a feeling that Buffer had yet to experience to the same extent that the young lovers had, and it made him feel angry again that their time together had been cut tragically short. Shaking his head to dispel sad thoughts, he smiled his usual lopsided grin and headed to the table, sliding into an empty seat beside Nikki and Kate McGreggor, his former (and temporarily current) XO. As he greeted his friends, he noticed how close together RO and Bomber were, their fingertips practically touching on the seat between them. He also knew that 2Dads would already have noticed, and it perhaps explained why he was having such a heated argument with Spider. Swain sat between Kate and RO and was chatting away to Nikki about what she had been missing on their old ship during the months since she had been assigned a shore posting. To Buffer, it seemed as though nothing had changed since he left, that they were all one big happy family again.

Two hours passed swiftly, taken up with some interesting games of pool and a lot of both drinking and talking as the crew caught up on everything that had happened to each other during the time they had been apart. Jokes were made, and a few wolf-whistles sounded, when a group of women passed by their table on their way out onto the terrace and RO went as white as a sheet. Buffer recalled the look on the younger man's face as he stared at the women as they passed, looking for all the world as if he'd seen a ghost. When Nikki had made a comment about it, all RO had said was that one of the group looked like someone he had once known and refused to elaborate, no matter how hard the others pressed. Pete looked out at the empty chairs placed around the small bar at the end of the terrace outside with something akin to longing, the strain of keeping up the "happy-go-lucky Buffer" appearance beginning to get a little too much for him.

"If you guys don't mind, I'm gonna head out onto the terrace for a bit," he told the group, knowing they'd be ok with him leaving them for a while.
"Going to try your luck Buffer?" Swain asked, raising an eyebrow and leering drunkenly at his friend.
"Yeah, why not?" Pete replied, seeing the look on Kate's face as he did so. He was well aware of the fact that she knew the reason he was absenting himself for a while, to get himself under control and be able to keep up the pretence that he was totally ok.
"Go get 'em Buff," Bomber joined in, her eyes telling him she too had some understanding of his situation.
"Find a tasty one mate," Charge joked, while the younger men at the table made several comments that were heavily laced with sexual innuendo. Pete smiled at them, grabbing his half empty pint glass and walking out onto the terrace. He breathed deeply several times, calming his frayed nerves as he slipped into a seat at one end of the small bar and nodding his thanks to the barman who silently refilled his glass once he'd emptied it. He allowed the gentle breeze to carry away his demons for the moment, glad to be alive, and enjoyed the quieter atmosphere which now surrounded him.