It's going better then I've planned…I don't even feel sad because I've got fired… I found something better to do…only bad news is I lost my dear dictionary…and this is fun… more character bashings coming up after these messages…
Skip if you know the class A members already
(For those who don't know these characters from class A. Kuniko is the newest member of class A. the shy girl from the episodes where Ryuu and Meg goes undercover at a university. Shishido is the 20yr old homicide detective. Hayato: you will know him from my other fic… the magician dude, youngest from the boys. And finally Gouda: the mathematician… you'll know him from the jack the ripper episodes…)
remember them coz they'll be in this fic... yeah all of them…and brace yourselves this is quite long and has some swears words…but I suck at swearing so I improvised a little… hope you enjoy this…R & R…
Disclaimer: I don't own DSQ, if I did, I'd be rich, but as you can see I'm not so it's no use suing me…
Thanks to the reviewers:
Chapter 1: Triggering of events…
Ryuu was the first to arrive that day… heck he is always early. But today his super powerful 'detective-sense' was tingling even before he walked in through the gates… something was terribly wrong… he stopped and waited outside till Meg and Yuki came together with Kuniko…
"Good morning Ryuu" Meg gave him a bright smile
"Humph…" Yuki 'humphed' and crossed her arms looking cool…
"G-good m- mo-rning" Kuniko said her face turning in to five different shades of red.
"How was the sleepover girls?" Ryuu asks politely
Kuniko turned another fifteen shades of red
"Great…" Meg almost yelled, and went on about the things they did at her sleepover/birthday party. She had made it so that Kyu couldn't come to the party and mess it up by presenting her with nice underwear like he did last year… but let's not go into that…
"Humph" Yuki walked away from them and entered the gates of the world famous detective school…
"Come back here" Ryuu yelled dramatically, rushing in after her.
Both Meg and Kuniko simultaneously clutched their chests, heartbroken… 'how could it happen, Ryu lik-'
"Defcon 4 has been activated, anyone who actually values their lives, please exit the building now…" a computer animated voice echoed from the building… half a dozen security shooter thingys rose from the ground, all around them…
"Defcon- what?" Yuki exclaimed, before Ryuu pushed her onto the ground quite roughly.
Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap!
Ryuu stopped immobile as six Kunais (small sharp ninja knives) shot straight at him from all directions…
"Noooooooooooooooooooooooo" Meg yelled covering her eyes.
"Noooooooooooooooooooooooo" Kuniko yelled covering her eyes.
'Bastard, I am going to kill you one of these days…' Yuki thought furiously.
Ryuu closed his eyes in perfect concentration, and within a millisecond he'd twirled around 360° and fell to his feet lightly… the six kunais were hanging limp from his fingers, three in each hand…
"Ryuuuu is soooo cool" cooed Meg with heart shaped eyes.
"Ryuuuu is soooo cool" cooed Kuniko with heart shaped eyes
'Damn it Ryuu, you'll die for making me look bad today' Yuki mentally shook her right fist at him, since it was kinda broken and rendered useless because she'd landed on it…
"Don't move" Ryuu told Yuki, who gave him a very very cold look…"these things activate if you move"
Yuki let out a sarcastic 'hah…' in agreement? FYI, she'd twisted her ankle and broken her right wrist because of him, she couldn't move even if she had to.
"So what do we do now?" Ryuu asked Yuki.
"I DON'T KNOW, WHY NOT PUSH MEG AND KUNIKO LIKE YOU PUSHED ME, THEY MIGHT BE THINKING THAT I'M GETTING SPEACIAL THREATMENT FROM YOUUU…!" Yuki yelled into his ear.
Ryuu (sweatdrops) she must be PMSing…
'Grrr… I'll kill you for yelling at Ryuu like that' surprisingly Meg and Kuniko thought the same thing simultaneously.
"Hey Ryuu, Yuki, what ya doing there?" Kyu rushed in…
'No stop Kyu…'
"…hey Yuki, you're weari-" Kyu started…
The security thing started up…Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Same thing again, but this time it's Kyu who's being targeted…
'Kyu…' Ryuu jumps in front of the clueless idiot and pushes him to the ground, then ducks all the kunais… except one (which directly aimed for the part he was stabbed in the 'Maestro from hell' episode) 'Damnit not again…' he thought before fainting onto Yuki… (Imagine that…)
"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo" two heartbroken girls yelled at the same time.
"Gerroff me" Yuki was yelling viciously, trying to claw him but as luck would have it, Ryuu was on top of her left arm and her right arm was pinned to the ground…
Ku was out cold, lying right next to her…
"What's going on here?" a familiar voice said from behind the girls. Both of them turned to see Kinta, Saburamarou, Hayato, Gouda and Shishido come up to them together.
"What the…?" Kuniko blurted out… all of them had pink confetti in their hair… and they all looked if they had a rough night…
"Oh… we had a birthday party at…" Shishido said nervously "… at Hayato's place last night"
"Who's party?" Meg asked forgetting about Ryuu, Yuki and Kyu for a moment.
"Er… a friend's party… you don't know him..." Gouda offered hesitantly, while Hayato turned into a nasty shade of pink…
"But my birth –"
"HOLY GREEN COWS…" Hayato exclaims (very loudly) spotting Ryuu on top of Yuki "…WHAT THE CENSORED CENSORED IS HE DOING TO MY YU–"
"I knew it…" Saburamarou interrupts him in a low voice, (his eyes glitter freakishly…)
"Looks like they've had a threesome…" Kinta said matter-of-factly (impressive) without turning into any shade of crimson.
(Everyone falls anime-style except Hayato)
'Nooooooooooooooooooooooo' Hayato yelled mentally, agonizing, but he couldn't show it because of his unrequited love and because he was a sissy…
"Er guys it's not–" Kuniko started but got interrupted by Saburamarou.
"No wonder she writes like she's experienced it all…"
Everyone (sweatdrops)
"What are you talking about?" Meg demanded.
"Her novels…" Saburamarou said brightly like it was the best thing since sliced bread...
"She writes mystery novels!" Hayato told him defensively.
"What are you talking about? Everyone knows that Yukinira Sakrakowrites about–"
"Her name is Yukihira Sakurako, you numbskull!" Hayato yelled yet again.
Meg gave Kuniko a 'are you thinking what I'm thinking?' look. Both then smirked at Hayato, who turned maroon….
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" Yuki yelled finally snapping, "WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE GET THIS CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED OFF MY CENSORED CENSORED"
"Whoa" Shishido whistled impressed, he didn't know that Yuki had such a colorful vocabulary. Then again she was a famous writer and he'd once caught her sleeping with an embarrassingly large dictionary called 'The Words of Today and Yesterday'
"…." Hayato was deadpanned; his mouth was hanging open…
Meg started giggling and Kuniko joined in…
Kinta and Gouda were too busy glaring at Saburamarou for some reason.
"WHAT THE CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED ARE YOU WAITING FOR, YOU CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED?"Yuki screeched fiercely…
"Hold on" Hayato told her, running towards her.
"S-stop Hayato, d-don-'t go t-there…" Meg tried to tell him, gasping because she was still laughing...
It was no use, two seconds after that Hayato was unconscious on the ground with all the kunais stuck to him…
'Stupid sissy' Yuki thought sighing, 'well at least he tried to save her'
"Ah an impressive security system" a tiny irritating voice said, everyone, still remaining on their feet, looked back and saw the cute little twelve year old, pushing up his specs and looking mighty important.
"What are you doing here?" Kinta thought he was asking an intelligent question.
Kazuma (at usual) ignored his coughwisecough comment and turned to the important thing "this is a highly evolved type of security system, there's only one other place that I know of that has this type of security system, but why is it shooting such a primitive weapon as a kunai?"
"Hmmmmm…" (Everyone thinks scratching their heads.)
You: yeah what's with that?
Me: I just LIKE Naruto okay, besides no ones going to die, if they're hit by these babies plays with a kunai lovingly except if they're really sissy…
Random Hayato fan girl: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
"Enough of that lets just save them" Shishido said, tired of thinking…
"Yeah" Saburamarou put in, depressed that everyone had been too busy to take any notice of him ranting on about his perfect 180 IQ level, for the last few minutes.
"Lets see…" Kazuma typed the data in his computer, "hmmmm… Saburumaru's amazing (sarcastically) IQ will not help in this situation; so he's useless, also Gouda is too big, so is Shishido and Kinta is… um… " he paused…
"Just give it to me straight" Kinta yelled as he shook the little genius like he was possessed…
"…is too idiotic to react in a situation like that…" Kazuma said through his chattering teeth "that only leaves Kuniko and Meg…"
"Cowards" Meg said stepping up to punch out the little twerp…
"Since Meg has an irreplaceable memory and is too soft, that only leaves Kuniko…"
'Yes' Meg thought, pretending to be sad for Kuniko…
"But... but…" Kuniko stammered as Kinta and Saburamarou gave her a 'good luck' pat on her back and tried to push her in…
"Sacrifices are an inevitable part of missions…" Gouda told her wisely.
"But… but…"
"Isn't there another way…?" Shishido said quietly.
Kuniko breathed in; in relief 'at least one person didn't want her dead'
"I mean with her confidence, she really can't do anything anyway"
Kuniko's mouth dropped open…
"When you say it like that, I think there's another way…" Kazuma said sheepishly "but it's gonna be risky"
"Okay" everyone except Kuniko edges closer to Kazuma…
The narrator dude from Spongebob Squarepants: five minutes later…
"Okay now" Kazuma yelled giving the order, Gouda and Saburamarou runs into the school grounds (yelling 'over here, I'm over here')
Yuki (Sweatdrops, wishes she was knocked out like Ryuu and Kyu then to witness this incredibly stupid rescue attempt with high probability of failure)
As usual the inevitable happened… except this time, its senbon needles… Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Unfortunately the numbers were increased to a lot more then a normal person could dodge…
"AAAAAAAAAAAAhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" Saburamarou screamed like a little girl…
Everyone except Kuniko (Sweatdrops)
'Oh what the heck' Kuniko thought going to his rescue… and within half the time Ryuu used, she managed to repel all the weapons that came their way…
"Ohhhh Kuniko is sooo Coool…" Kazuma, Meg and Kinta said simultaneously…
"Kuniko, I didn't know you liked Saburamarou" Shishido thought out loud…
"I DON"T, HE JUST OWES ME FIFTY BUCKS… THAT'S ALL…" Kuniko yelled in an uncharacteristically loud voice that echoed twice…
"O-kay"
Kuniko glared at him…
"Hey what happened to Gouda?" Meg asked nervously…They all turn to see him on the ground, looking remarkably like a porcupine…
"Save meeeeeeeeeee…" Saburamarou finally came to his senses and glomps Kuniko…
Kuniko yells "Hey…." As the security system is tripped again… Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap!
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" everyone remaining screams covering their eyes…
"Let me gooooooooo" Kuniko screams but then passes out and falls to the ground because of the intensity of the hug… Saburamaru is all alone… and seconds from being a porcupine…
Some where in the school grounds a man lifted his head groggily, 'damn kids screaming like schoolgirls at this hour' he looked at his worn out watch – it read 10:45… oh well time for class, he thought getting up from the bench where he had spent the night… then he stared blankly as a rain of needles struck Saburamarou… he fell to the ground…
"Okay next two sacrifices" a tiny voice screeched… then there was the sound of bickering…
"What's going on?" the man stood up and walked towards the gates… Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! Fwap! The man sighed, and then repelled all the weapons using his beat up watch… then he yawned…
"Coool Mr. Hongou" Meg yelled waving her hands, in a fan girl-like voice…
"Who started up the training sequence?" Hongou said (with a mad look on his face), nobody answered… then he karate chopped the emergency box and threw the axe at a power box. At once the security system shut down…
"Impressive…" Kazuma said staring at the power box which was a couple of feet from where he was standing…
Hongou ignored him and went up to the front doors, then he pulled out a key and inserted into the electric lock on the door… there was a faint fizzing noise as the electricity was coming on… the security system turned on again… the shooter thingys menacingly lifted their heads… at Hongou who clearly didn't see them…
"Mr. Hongou, look out!" Kinta bellowed dramatically then pulled out the axe and chopped down the power box next to the other one… at once the power went down…
"Dumbass! You destroyed the school power source; now we can't get in" Hongou roared at Kinta, who shrunk back. The rest reluctantly went to help their fallen classmates…
There was a silence as the worked…. it was sort of never ending then suddenly strange voices rang out…
"Helllllllllllllllppppppppppppppp" they all said…countless voices were moaning in unison….
"THE SCHOOL HAS BEEN INFECTED WITH THE T- VIRUS! WHAT ARE WE TO DO NOW…?" Shishido suddenly ranted like a lunatic "IT MAKES SENSE… THE SECURITY SYSTEM AND THE LOCKED SCHOOL… IT HAS BEGUN…"
"Please just knock out this ludicrous idiot before we all go crazy…" Yuki said to Meg, who was somewhat thinking among the same lines… but was too busy trying to get the unconscious Ryuu off Yuki…
"What is that?" Kazuma shivered.
"It's that damn Umbrella Company…" Shishido whispered to Kazuma after seeing Yuki's death-glare aimed at him "they're conspiring to take over the DDS now…"
"I've found it…" a little voice yelled gleeful amidst the zombie voices…there was the sound of deliberate coughing "ahem… HELLO? IS ANYONE THERE?" the voice continued in a magnified voice.
Shishido turned white "Now they have evolved the flesh-eating zombies into super intelligent zombies…Damn you Umbrella…" he shook his fist at an imaginary Umbrella company…
"HELP US –" the voice boomed, "WE'RE TRAPPED INSIDE THE SCHOOL BUILDING… SOMEONE HAS LOCKED US IN…"
"Flesh eating zombies huh?" Kazuma said sarcastically.
Half an hour later… the police and an ambulance was called to DDS…
"Dad…" Kinta whined using his whiny voice that he only uses when he's extra annoyed or embarrassed "Why do you assume that I'm always the one who messes up…"
His dad chuckled merrily "Well lets see last night while you were 'sneaking out' you tripped my security alarm, broke your mother's favorite vase, fell out of the second floor window and landed on the neighbor's cat…"
"What?" Kinta exclaimed…
"Its okay, Tufty is alright… he had minor surgery but he's ok-"
"N-no, I mean… you knew? Why didn't you stop me or something?"
"My dear lad…" the police commissioner put an arm around his son's shoulders "there comes a time when every father knows that it's time to let go of his little tyke" Kinta shivered…
On the other side of the compound, a paramedic was aiding Yuki…
"Does that hurt?" he said poking her wrist lightly. Yuki let out a piercing yell…"Er…should I take that as a yes?" he looked at her reluctantly "Now do you hurt here?" he started to touch her hand again.
"It all hurts okay, please just do what you guys do best and like cure me already" Yuki exclaimed impatiently as the paramedic sighed…
In front of the school, Hongou was standing there watching the police cutting into the school front door "Have there been any news of Morihiko Dan?" he asked the young officer who walked up behind him.
"No, there has been no news… Mr. Nanami is also missing…" the policeman said shaking his head.
"Forget him…" Hongou said to the officer, and then closed his eyes wearily 'where the hell are you idiot?'
In the garden shed located in the DDS compound… Nanami was on the ground – obviously drunk…
"Mmmmmm Ms Katagiri…" Nanami mumbled in his drunken state "why?" he asked hugging her tightly – or at least what he thought was her… (Thank god the rest of us think twice before touching alcohol…)
"Why did you do it? Why marry that fool when you can have me… 'hic' think of what you'd be getting… 'hic' I might not be as pretty as that jerk 'hic but my eyes are good 'hic' ask Mr. Dan he thinks my eyes are great…my ears are even better… " he snuggled into what could only be described as a disgusting old bag of smelly compost…
"And I'm hotter then that scar-faced moron… 'hic' that man 'hic' has absolutely no sense of style 'hic' and he's always 'hic' wearing the same clothes… 'hic' you'd think 'hic' it'd kill him to pay for dry cleaning… 'hic'" he tried to laugh and then started coughing convulsively.
"What the…?" he heard a muffled voice saying from outside; there was a burst of light when the door was broken down…
"Sir…" the man outside said into his two-way radio "we have found Mr. Nanami…"
Back to where Hongou was standing… everyone was gathered there except sissy Hayato, who still hasn't regained consciousness and the two other people… (Namely Saburamarou and Gouda because I don't like them)
"What happened?" He asked a very smelly but now sober (after a dozen cups of coffee) Nanami…
"What's happening?" Nanami asked (shifty eyes)
"What were you doing in the gardening shed sir?" Meg asked respectfully.
"Well… I –um- got back- er – terrbly l- late and then- I kn- found out that I c-couldn't get back in-to the school… I was lon– er- cold, that's right… so I went in to... the shed and the… uh, dunno what happened next…" Nanami said cunningly lying, the truth was that he'd purposely gotten drunk in the shed so that no one would see him drunk, but he couldn't say that now can he?
"So no one knows what happened to Mr. Dan?"
"No kidding? Dan is missing?" Nanami laughed out loud causing everyone to glare at him… "Seriously? Dan is missing?" Nanami cocked his eyebrow…
"Yes…" Hongou said on the edge of his patience… "He's missing…"
"Hey what's that?" Nanami said pointing to a piece of white poking from under the welcome mat in front of the school entrance…
"Whoa, you're eyes are good…" Kuniko commented, picking up a letter "Everybody it's a letter from Principal Dan…"
"Finally some leads…" Hongou said taking the letter from Kuniko.
Everybody except Hongou and Kinta congratulated Nanami for his 'good eyes' (Hongou because he didn't like Nanami. Kinta because his specialty was also 'good eyes' and he was feeling threatened because of Nanami's better eyes…)
Everyone edged closer to Mr. Hongou, eager to know what happened to Mr. Dan…
Hongou tore open the envelope and unfolded the letter written in Mr. Dan's neat little handwriting…
TO BE CONTINIUED…
More Disclaimers:
I don't own Naruto or any of their Kunai and Senbon needle weapons they use…
Defcon4 is from X-men evolution, I don't own them either…
I don't own Spongbob Squarepants so no dibs on the narrator…
I don't own the T- virus and Umbrella; they belong to whoever created Resident Evil…
Yukinira Sakrako is an OC but I'm never using her again (ewww I can't believe my 2nd OC in this fic is a …urk…author gags unable to say it)
A/N: Like? This one is a bit disturbing but it has no pairings yet… so you guys can't kill me for Ryuu fainting onto Yuki, there is no bad thing happening there (yes they are my favorite two characters… but I wouldn't dream of pairing them up)
And stay tuned everything that happened before this will be explained in the later chapters… If there are any Hayato fans out there I'm happy to say he's not dead… oh and incase you haven't yet figured out the Yuki novel joke… Saburamarou reads porn… and Yukinira Sakrako is an evil porn writer… yes its evil… so all the underage ones promise not to read evil stuff like that. I am not encouraging it… I'm a prude so stop it teasing already…
Sorry, I suck at swearing: must be because every time I try my sister slaps me…
Anyway REVIEW PLEASE… flames acceptable if this wasn't what you expected.
Note: plz don't be angry… I tend to bash everyone…so no offence…Arghh… don't kill me…
Ja na… until next week…