Chapter Two: Alone with Her Own Thoughts

Arriving back at the hotel, they stepped into absolute chaos. Check out time was nearing and the atrium of the hotel was completely and utterly packed. Those at the front desk were busy retrieving keys and signing off the customers who were leaving. The cleaning crew was running around trying to get the recently vacated rooms ready. The newly arrived customers were lounging around in the waiting room, reading newspapers and drinking coffee. The bellboys, heavily loaded down with luggage, were popping in and out of the elevators.

"Well..." Ruka trailed off as she looked around. "This is just great."

A frown settled between her eyebrows and her mood nosedived. She had never been fond of hanging around humans but she had put up with it for the last couple of days because... well, she mostly stayed in her room. Whenever they did come out at night, the corridors were mostly empty. What was the point of staying in a five-star resort if it was packed to the rafters like a cheap motel at Grand Central?

"Here," Akatsuki nudged her towards one of the empty sofas. "You take a seat while I go and see if the cleaning crew is done with our rooms."

Dependable as ever, Akatsuki strode into the mayhem without a backward glance. Sighing, Ruka lowered herself into the seat. The queue at the front desk was quite long so it may be awhile before they could go up to their rooms. As she sat there, watching people rushing around, she struggled not to yawn. Exhaustion was slowly setting in. Unable to sleep, she had spent the last couple of days tossing and turning in her bed. So now, despite all the noise, Ruka couldn't stop her eyes from slowly drifting shut.

"He looks so wicked!"

Ruka's ears pricked up. Lifting her head, she found a group of girls standing a couple of metres away from where she was sitting. They were pretty, she supposed, for humans. Every single one of them was wearing miniskirts coupled with camisole tops. Despite the lack of variety, Ruka had to admit that their taste in fashion was impeccable.

"Do you think he's famous or something?" The tallest of the group asked the others.

"He could be a celebrity," the brunette standing beside her suggested. "Or a model."

"He does look familiar..."

"All that wild hair," one of the girls fanned herself with one hand. "May, I'd love to run my hands through it."

Wild... Ruka's forehead creased. She knew who they were talking about now. It was a label that became stuck ever since they started going to Cross Academy. Even now, it was used by those who failed to see beyond his looks. They just automatically assumed they knew who he was on the inside.

Idiots... Ruka mentally sneered as she glowered at the girls. Out of all the humans, she hated fan girls the most. They were all empty-minded, constantly squealing and were willing to do anything to get close to their idols. Don't they have any sense of dignity and self-respect?

Aren't you just like them?

As that errant thought entered her mind, Ruka suddenly felt disquieted. Born into an aristocratic family, she was raised up too well to ever reduce herself into a screaming fanatic fan girl. Her adoration for Kaname-sama was much more dignified. She always tried to be useful. Unlike those Day Class girls who only knew how to scream and cheer. She never got in the way, whereas the other girls always seemed to swarm in packs. She would do anything to make him happy, whereas the human girls wanted him to make them happy.

It was not the same.

No. But isn't it much worse?

As a pureblood, Kaname-sama was way out of her league. She knew right from the start, he could never be hers. Moreover, she knew he would never return her feelings. But despite all that, she had spent a good part of her life chasing after him with her heart on her sleeve. Even now, she was at his every beck and call.

What has your life been reduced down to, Ruka?

Suddenly afraid to be alone with her own thoughts, Ruka scanned the crowd for that familiar flash of messy red hair. Perhaps it stemmed back to their shared childhood, but she had always found Akatsuki's presence soothing and unobtrusive. He was as solid and dependable as a rock, anchoring her to safety whenever her irrationality went one step too far. Having always lived like this, she wasn't sure what her life without him would be like.

"Let's go up to him." Those annoying girls were still talking about him. "Maybe we can convince him to take us out for a cup of coffee."

With her mood already sour, those annoying words merely added fuel to the fire. Knowing she was probably going to lose her temper at any moment now, Ruka choked back a moan of relief when she finally spotted his tall figure. If she stayed next to them for a second longer, she would probably end up doing something she regret – like storming up and slapping one of them in the face.

Instead, she settled for an icy "excuse me" as she walked past them.

A true lady never makes a scene in public.

As she weaved her way through the crowd, she realized she wasn't happy. And she hasn't been happy for a very long time. Lately, she was always getting annoyed at little things that were beyond her control. Though she realized in needed to change, she just wasn't sure how she should go about it.

"Ruka?" Akatsuki blinked in surprise when she popped up next to him.

"It was too noisy by the couch," she sniffed as she stood by his side. "I could barely hear myself think."

Akatsuki looked around at the people chatting in the queue around them. "And this is better?" He gave her a crooked smile.

Ruka refused to lower herself into giving a response. Seriously, if she wasn't around, he would probably have been overrun by those idiot girls already. Although Akatsuki was intelligent and strong, in so many areas, he was as clueless as a headless sheep. When she thought about it that way, he probably needed her as much as she needed him.

"Ruka?" Akatsuki nudged her forward as the queue moved forward by a couple of steps. "Did something happen back there?" He glanced back to where Ruka had been sitting.

"No, no," Ruka denied as she also looked back over her shoulders. She didn't know why but she was pleased to see the girls now looked visibly deflated. "I guess I wanted to see what was taking so long."

"Well," Akatsuki looked at her with a scrutinizing gaze. When he does that, Ruka always felt like he could see right inside her head. It was ... an unnerving feeling. But before she got too nervous, he blinked and his amber eyes turned back to the front desk. "There must be an upcoming festival or something..."

"I thought the whole reason we're in this town was to keep a low profile," Ruka grumbled, wrapping her arms around herself. "How are we supposed to do that with so many humans milling around?"

Her companion hummed in agreement as he continued to scan the crowd around them. "As long as we keep to ourselves, I don't think there's too much for us to worry about."

"Sure," she sighed as they moved forward another couple of steps.

"You're not getting irritated," Akatsuki commented as he studied her. "I keep expecting you to throw a temper tantrum."

Her right eye twitched. "If you keep saying things like that, I'll show you a temper tantrum."

Akatsuki visibly hesitated but he didn't say a word. Awkward silence fell between the two of them like a bag of heavy lead. All around them, humans carried on as if there was nothing wrong.

She seemed to have done something wrong again. It seemed old habits were hard to get rid of. Even now, she still played the role of a spoilt noble girl to a T.

She needed to learn how to change.

"I'm sorry," Ruka murmured after awhile. In the past eighteen years of her life, she had perhaps apologized a handful of times. Yet this was the second time she apologized that day. She was beginning to sound like a broken record.

Akatsuki didn't say a word. Instead, he placed a hand at the small of her back and guided her up to the front desk.

"Good morning, ah..." The serviceman at the front desk looked up and was stunned into a dazed silence.

"Hi," Akatsuki's deep voice rang out. "We were wondering if our rooms are ready yet."

"Ah, o-of course, just let me check," the man quickly turned his attention to the computer screen in front of him. His fingers flew across the keyboards as he scanned for the information he needed. "Ah yes, 5.14. The cleaners are done for the day."

The man turned around to the shelf behind him and started searching for their room key.

While waiting, Akatsuki spoke to Ruka. "There's nothing to be sorry about."

They were the exact same words as the ones he spoke in the cafe shop. And same as last time, Ruka wasn't sure how to respond to it.

"Here you go." Having found the key, the serviceman turned and deposited it in Akatsuki's hand.

"Thanks," Akatsuki smiled in response. Leaning over the counter, he added, "I was wondering if, in the future, our rooms could be taken care of a bit earlier in the morning?"

"Uh, sure," the serviceman blinked in surprise, still slightly dazed by the stunning couple in front of him. It was a rather unusual request. Most customers preferred to sleep in. He quickly jotted down a note: couple in 5.14 prefer early clean-up.

"We're not –" Ruka began to say but she stopped herself. Before, she would have vehemently denied any insinuations that she had feelings for anyone else except Kaname-sama, but now...

What was the point?

"Never mind," she said instead as she walked away. "Thank you."

Once away from the hectic atrium, their trip up the stairs and into their room was blessedly short and quiet. Neither of them spoke a word in the elevator. As she walked down the ornately-decorated corridor of the fifth floor, Ruka believed she was beginning to accept that there were some things in life that she couldn't change. Maybe it was time for her to let go of the illusion of control and just let things be. Other people will have their thoughts and beliefs. What rights did she have to jump down their throats and clear things up? They were only humans. Their opinions didn't even matter to her anyway.

When Akatsuki slid the key into the door of suite 5.14, it opened up to a large spacious living room. A three-seater leather couch sat in the centre, facing an open fireplace. On its left, up against the wall, was a well-stocked bar and a small though functional kitchenette. On the other side of the couch, two adjacent doors led to their separate bedrooms, each with its own ensuite. The whole suite was large, luxurious and befitting of their standing. But to Ruka, it felt like they were staying in a temporary holding cell, waiting to find out what happens next.

"Do you want to eat anything?" Akatsuki asked as he walked into the room. He shrugged off his coat, and threw it over the back of the couch. Without a backward glance, he ducked into the kitchenette.

"No," she sighed and took off her jacket too. She turned and hung it up on the hook behind the front door.

"A drink?" Akatsuki asked as he popped his head back through the doorway. "I know you didn't have a tablet yesterday."

"Uh," she blinked, surprised he'd noticed. She didn't even remember she'd skipped a day until he brought it up. "Yeah, I guess."

While she waited for him to prepare the drinks, she walked over to the couch and picked up his dark coat. Men... She mentally chuckled as she hung it up as well. In all their time at the academy, she had only stepped into Akatsuki and Hanabusa's room a handful of times. Books, clothes, and random bits of memorabilia that Hanabusa collected were strewn all over the room. Even now, she shuddered at the memory.

"Here you go," Akatsuki spoke out from behind her.

Startled out of her thoughts, she found herself facing the door, still clutching Akatsuki's coat. Letting go, she turned around and accepted the drink Akatsuki offered her. She took a sip, grimacing slightly at the taste. Although the tablets kept the thirst at bay, it was still a poor replacement of real blood. Bracing herself, she tilted the glass back and gulped it down in one go.

"Thanks," she said as she handed the empty glass back to Akatsuki.

"No problem," he murmured over the rim of his own glass. "You've been really quiet. What's been on your mind?"

She lifted her head and found him gazing down at her with that intense yet warm look on his face. "I... uh," she shrugged helplessly, unable to think of an appropriate reply. How was she meant to tell him something she couldn't even figure out herself? "I don't know. I just have a lot on my mind lately, I guess."

Had it been anybody else here – Hanabusa, Rima, even her parents – they would have pressed the issue. Akatsuki, on the other hand, just nodded his head. Without another word, he headed back into the kitchenette with the empty glasses.

"I'm heading to bed," she announced as she headed for the bedrooms.

"Okay," Akatsuki called out from the other room. "Sleep well."

"Sure," Ruka murmured as she pushed open the door on the left. Stepping inside, she kicked the door close behind her. "I'll try, at least."

Even now, tired to the bones, her mind was still swirling with thoughts. Everything she believed in and strived for has all crumbled down like a poorly constructed deck of cards. Metaphorically, she felt like she was standing at a crossroad, not sure which of the numerous paths ahead she should take. As she stared at the large canopy bed at the centre of the room, with her thoughts as her only companion, there was only one thing she knew for certain.

It was going to be another long and sleepless day for Ruka Souen.

Author's Note: I feel like Ruka is going to make this story difficult for me. Even though I hate her pining after Kaname, I feel like her emotions are too deep to simply wipe away in one line (one day, she wakes up and realizes she's no longer in love with him). She's too complex for that...

This story is going to be alternating between Ruka and Akatsuki. Hence why this chapter feels a lot different from the previous one. Akatsuki's POV is a lot more poetic and observant, cause he's the thinking kind of guy. Whereas, I feel like Ruka's POV is going to be more irrational and messy – she tends to come across with a lot of emotions, leaving room for very little else. So I've really struggled with this chapter and I hope it came across as realistic.

Witless Fool