Hey, everyone, all of these quotes below are from a story my friend found, so, I actually don't know who wrote it, but… I DO NOT OWN THESE QUOTES, so any recognition of HOW it's written, goes to the author that wrote it, and if she/he reads this, please tell me, and I'll update the story to copy write it to you.
On a happier note, ENJOY!
"Alvin, are you alright?" Simon asked.
"You know something, that's the fourth time I've been asked that in 24 hours. Once form you, once from Britney, and twice from Dave before he went to bed last night." He replied sarcastically, although he never did answer the question.
Theodore got the impression that Alvin had never gone to bed the night before. His hunch was verified as they got closer and saw the purple circles under his eyes, "Oh my god Alvin, did you even sleep when you came home?"
"Nope, been up all night trying to get myself to dial this damn number." He replied, glaring angrily at his forearm.
"Uh, do we want to know?" Simon questioned, not wanting to get pulled into another one of Alvin's schemes or pranks.
"Do either of you remember a girl from eighth grade, named Susan?" Alvin asked, ignoring Simon's sarcastic question.
"Yes, she was the first majorly psycho girl you dated for a week right?" Theo guessed, remembering all too well just how mean she had been to him and his weight four years ago.
"Well, as it turns out, she remembered me, a little too well in fact. She is currently trying to blackmail me and Brit into breaking up. I'm going to call her and try and resolve this, but first I have to get my fingers to HIT the F**KING BUTTONS!" he said, screaming the last few words in a frustrated and sleep deprived state his brothers had never seen him in before.
000
"Alvin, you are an ass hole you know that?" Eleanor said as soon as she was close enough to blitz him out without getting in trouble.
"Yeah, but I'm the ass hole. You can't have a group without one you know." He retorted grinning wickedly.
000
She didn't hate Britney; she just had to be destroyed for Susan and Alvin to be happy.
000
(Yeah. I'll get right on that. And then pigs. Will sprout wings. And fly. Whatever.)
000
("Like a date," a little voice added in my head. But that little voice was quickly silenced by the other little voices probably throwing bricks at it.)
000
Just then, Eleanor came down the stairs, rubbing the back of her neck and yawning. "Hey, Jeanette," she said in a tired voice. "Good morning."
"More like afternoon," I replied, motioning to the clock and stacking up the cards to put them up. "Why did you sleep so late?"
Eleanor walked into the living room, and looked at the clock. "Hm?" Then she saw the time. Her eyes grew wide, and she jumped and knocked over my stack of cards. "OH MY GOD."
"Gosh," I corrected. "What's wrong?"
"Theodore! Oh my god!"
"Gosh. What about him?"
"I'm late!" she yelled, "Oh my god! He's been waiting there for an hour!" With that, she ran up the stairs, cursing under her breath, "Shit, shit, shit! Oh my GOD..."
"Gosh," I corrected in a loud voice.
"SHUT UP, JEANETTE!" she yelled upstairs.
000
"Can I come in?" he asked.
"No."
"Please."
"No."
"Please?"
"No."
"Please?"
"Ugh. Fine."
000
"Please don't curse at me." Brittany asked.
"Okay, I wasn't cursing AT you, I was cursing AROUND you." Alvin said mischievously
000
"Alvin, quit it!" Brittany squealed, scooting away. He kept tickling her, she tried to crawl away and was almost across to where Jeanette was when he grabbed her around the waist and pulled her back onto his lap.
"Quit what?" he asked, tickling her again.
"AHH QUIT IT!" She screamed, laughing and squirming and trying to get away.
"Quit what?" he asked a second time, tickling her again.
"OHMIGAWD STOPPPPP!"
"Honestly, Alvin, will you just leave her alone?" Jeanette asked, looking annoyed.
Alvin let Brit go, and gave Jeanette a look, "Jesus, who put the Edward Cullen in your Harry Potter book, Jeanette?"
000
Brittney sighed. "You were big. Admit it."
Eleanor shook her head. "I wasn't big. And even if I was big, it doesn't matter because guess who is wearing your jeans."
Brittney gasped. "Oh my gosh! Stand up, El! Let me see!"
Eleanor stood up, holding up her shirt a little so we could see the jeans. She spun around.
"I'm so proud of you!" Brittany squealed, pulling Eleanor into a hug.
"You see, Theodore," I said, leaning toward him, "If you lose a buttload of weight and wear my jeans to the mall, I'll squeal loudly and hug you too."
Simon and Theodore laughed.
000
This one's a little rude… IF you get what it means… unlike one of my friends… so… WARNING:
He was wearing a red t-shirt with a picture of a bike over the words "MY OTHER RIDE IS YOUR MOM".
000
I shook my head. "Theodore, don't even try to lie to me. You suck at lying. Every time you try to lie, god kills a kitten, just remember that."
000
(I just love the picture you get in your mind while reading this :)
I was on my way to the door when Alvin ran in, skidding on the hardwood floor in his socks, and shouted, "Everybody freeze!"
Obeying, Theodore and I froze immediately. Eleanor lazily sipped her coffee and took a bite of the piece of bacon in her hand. She sighed and asked, "What do you want, Alvin?"
000
As he got up and dusted himself off from his temporary meeting with the floor -
000
Alvin shook his head as he hung up the phone and muttered to himself, "Girls, one minute they're weepy, the next they're acting stranger than Simon after a messed up experiment."
000
"I call first!" he yelled, bolting out of bed and peeling upstairs.
"Okay dude, don't have a stroke."
000
"Why just the next few months?" Jeanette asked, "Is there something wrong with her?"
"Well, it's not so much something's wrong as she just needs some close friends to help her deal with an issue that came up." Britney explained.
"Is she pregnant or something?" Theo asked around the piece of pizza hanging out of his mouth. He had meant it sarcastically, but the silence from Simon, Britney and Alvin told the real story.
"Oh my god, are you serious?" Eleanor questioned anxiously, "Was it an accident or what?"
"Actually, I'm not sure that we should tell you the whole story." Alvin said cagily, "Let's just say that it was not planned and she had no control over anything but she's keeping the baby at least until it's born."
"That's all I need to know." Theo said, his appetite suddenly gone.
000
"I don't think he meant for you to go out and get a dye job though." Alvin pointed out, "Though I do appreciate the company."
"What company? Did you and Brit have a fight last night?" Simon asked, a little bit concerned. He might get annoyed by Alvin on a daily basis, but he was still his brother and they both knew that the other was always there for them.
"Nah, nothing like that, it's just nice not to be the only troublemaker in the family now." Alvin said, quickly dodging a bar of hand soap that Simon had just sent flying at his head. He then took off down the hall laughing to himself.
"It's way too early for him to be unleashed on the rest of society…" Simon remarked to himself.
000
Simon considered it for a second and realized that his older, if less intelligent, brother was right for once.
"Thanks for the tip Alvin." Simon said gratefully, "Where did you find this out from anyway?"
"I was in the principal's office for talking back to my math teacher." Alvin replied, smiling wickedly, his moment of maturity gone to the pages of memory.
000
"I don't hate anyone, but you are acting like the type of person that I wish someone would just crate up and ship away to a deserted island in the dead center of the ocean." She answered,
000
"Dave said for us to take the same car this morning, I can't help it if Simon's new hair style takes forever to get right." Alvin remarked, much to his brother's ire.
"Actually, we're late because after eleven years of school, someone still hasn't learned that their alarm going off means you get out of bed." Simon retorted, looking accusingly at Alvin.
000
I walked in the door, holding Brittney's hand (which, by the way, is extremely soft...) and walked in on Simon, Jeanette, Theodore, and Eleanor playing Mario Kart on the Wii. I didn't have to look at the screen. I just knew. Maybe it was because their conversation was going something like this:
Simon: SHIT. I'm in last again- I always lose at this game!
Jeanette: Please don't curse, Si, here, you can pass me.
Simon: You don't have to do that, Jen...Really, you don't.
Eleanor: EAT MY DUST, SUCKAAAAAAAS! Ha! I just lapped you, Simon!
Simon: Shitttttt...
Jeanette: Simon...!
Simon: Sorry.
Theodore: Awwwh... I got ran over again...
Eleanor: Oops. Sorry, Teddy Bear.
Theodore: Love you too.
Written By: ChipetteGirl10
Story: Our Greatest Escape
"ICE WATER? REALLY?" Brittany yelled.
"You passed out!" Jeanette said, holding her hands up for defense.
"IT WAS ICE WATER!" Brittany continued ranting.
"Ian's back! Oh no! Oh no this can't end well! IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT!" Eleanor shouted.
"Shut up! Relax!" Jeanette said. "This is bad! Well, we have two options. One, take this seriously and stand up for ourselves –"
"-Two, move to a foreign country," Brittany said.
"A FOREIGN COUNTRY?" Eleanor shouted.
"It worked for Leslie," Brittany said.
"Who's Leslie?" Jeanette asked.
"Exactly!" Brittany cried.
Claire came out of the kitchen. "WE'RE NOT MOVING TO RUSSIA!"
Brittany groaned and flopped on the couch.
000
Brittany's phone rang. She bolted up. "Alvin? What could he possibly want AT SIX A.M.?" Brittany picked up anyway. "WHAT DO YOU WANT, BUSTER? I WAS SLEEPING!"
000
"I hope Simon is okay, right Theo?" Scott said, not looking up. Nothing.
"Theo?"
Silence.
Eleanor turned around to see that his chubby companion was gone. And that a tomato was squashed. "FIRST SIMON, THEN THEODORE, THEN THE TOMATO? NOOOOO!" Ellie shouted.
"One of Ian's evil little helpers must have taken him," Eleanor said. "AND THEY SQUASHED A TOMATO! IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD!" Eleanor said.
Jeanette slapped her forehead. "FORGET THE TOMATO!"
Written by: Catherine Writes
Story: It's Nothing, Just a Little Terminal Illness
"All right," began Simon. "Remember how earlier today we all thought I was dying of an incurable disease?"
Thanks to ChipetteGirl10 for claiming her quote :D