Disclaimer: The characters of Oh My Goddess! are owned and copyrighted by Kosuke Fujishima, Kondansha Ltd, and Dark Horse Comics, Inc. I make no claim to them, no matter how much I'd like to. :)
Chapter 2: How do you talk to an angel?
Urd paced back and forth across her room, careful to dodge the stacks of beakers and bottles containing ingredients for her potions lab. You can do this she kept telling herself. You've been trying to push them together for more than a year. But it would be so much easier just to mix up a potion, dose the both of them and lock them in a room together for 24 hours. There isn't anything wrong with them that a intense night of passion wouldn't cure. I'm sure they would figure it out on their own with just a little nudge from me or maybe a swift kick knowing those two.
I'm may be the big sister of the three of us, but Belldandy has always been the mature, responsible one Urd grumbled. Why do I have to be the one to go talk to Bell and try to make her see that things can't go on this way indefinitely? Try to make her understand that their relationship must either grow or it will wither away and die. Nothing remains static, everything changes.
Stalking back and forth across like a caged tiger, the debate over whether to have a talk with Belldandy about her relationship continued to rage in her head. She's never been in any kind of relationship before Urd thought. I doubt she has any more clue than Keiichi does what they're doing. She's seems so innocent and sheltered it's hard to remember some times that she is a Goddess First Class. I'll bet she is still a virgin after all these millennia. Urd's thoughts jarred to a sudden stop as the realization sank in, Belldandy probably was still that innocent. Almighty One Urd swore, the idea of this conversation just keeps getting better and better.
"Ok, let's do this" she thought. Urd managed to take two steps toward the door of her room before spinning around in agitation and resuming her pacing. Almighty One, I don't know if I can do this. Belldandy is so sweet and innocent, should I do anything that might take that from her. She could go on caring for Keiichi the way things are. Eventually, he'll die of something even if only old age. She'll be sad that he is gone but will recover. If they actually have an intimate relationship, she'll be heartbroken when he's gone. Of course, not saying anything probably condemns Keiichi to a miserable life of wondering "what if".
I'm going to have to tell her Urd finally decided. She had come to like Keiichi during the time she had spent on Earth, and didn't want to see him spend the rest of his life miserable because the thing he most desired was always just out of reach.
Ok, enough stalling Urd told herself. Keiichi and Skuld are both out at the moment and won't be back for at least a couple of more hours. I won't get a better chance than this. I've got to talk to Belldandy now. Gathering her courage once more, she again headed for the door to her room. Besides Urd told herself, it's Belldandy, what's the worst that could happen. Anything but tears she prayed as she went to locate Belldandy.
Following the sound of humming, Urd found Belldandy back in the kitchen cleaning up and putting away the breakfast dishes. Watching her quietly as Belldandy went through the familiar routine, it was obvious her mind was a million miles away. The melody that Belldandy was humming sounded familiar to Urd. After a moment of listening, she recognized the chorus to a popular love song that had been getting a lot of play time recently. Two guess what she's thinking about and the first doesn't count.
Taking a deep breath, Urd announced "Belldandy do you have a few minutes. I need to talk to you about something."
"Certainly Urd. You know you I'll always be there for you if you need something. Would you like some tea?"
"No thanks. I think I'll have some sake. I may need it" Urd replied reaching for a bottle in the cabinet.
Belldandy observed this gravely while preparing a cup of tea to give her a moment to collect her thoughts. She had been intently focused on Keiichi's behavior this morning trying to determine what was bothering him. She was his Goddess; if he was unhappy then she was seriously failing in her duties as the granter of his wish.
I'll have to give it more thought later Belldandy told herself. Maybe once Keiichi returns I can learn more about what's bothering him or perhaps I can speak to his sister Megumi. He might have told her something about his problems. She has known him far longer which might give her more insight into what he was hiding.
Stirring the tea slowly to dissolve the sugar, Belldandy seated herself across from Urd at the table. "What do you need to talk to me about Urd? Is there a problem I might be able to help you with? Have you gotten into trouble and had your license suspended again?"
"No, it's nothing like that. Actually Bell, what I need to talk to you about is Keiichi."
"Keiichi. Is there something wrong?" Belldandy asked with concern.
"Yes. No. Maybe. It's kind of complicated Belldandy" Urd floundered as she tried to explain.
"I'm sorry, but I don't understand what you mean Urd."
Urd looked away for a moment to gather her thoughts. "Look in the time I've been here I've actually grown to like Keiichi. I would never have believed it would happen if someone had told me that when I first came down here. I was just here to get away for a while and to help you get out of the contract that some mortal had trapped you in. Now that I've gotten to know him better, I want him to be happy. And truthfully, I don't think he has been very happy lately."
Glancing up to see how Belldandy was taking this, Urd was startled to see that Belldandy's eyes had gone hard and her lips were compressed into a thin line. None of what I said should make her angry Urd thought. Hurt her feelings maybe by suggesting that she wasn't performing her duties well enough, but I didn't think it would make her angry. Focusing her attention closer on her younger sister, Urd suddenly realized that her skin was starting to prickle as if all the hairs were trying to stand on end. She felt as if she had been shuffling her feet across carpet on a cold winter day and was just waiting for the inevitable zap that must follow. What did I say that set her off that much? Quickly running her words back through her mind, Urd suddenly realized how it must have sounded to Belldandy. She's not angry, she jealous Urd realized.
Attempting to diffuse the situation before Belldandy's emotions got the better of her, Urd blurted out "I don't mean I care for him that way, I meant I think of him as a little brother. I just wanted to help him be happy."
Belldandy's face instantly transformed itself back into its usual cheerful smile. "Oh, that's wonderful Urd. I'm so glad that you're fond of him also. I can't understand how anyone could not like Mr. Keiichi."
After a moment, her smile faded away again. I've noticed that he has seemed somewhat melancholy recently. "What do you think he's been so unhappy about Urd? Have you heard something? Did he say he was unhappy with me?" By the time she got the last question out, Belldandy had developed an almost panicked look.
"No Bell, Keiichi hasn't said anything to me about whatever is bothering him. I've just been watching the two of you closely lately and have a feeling I know what the problem is."
"What Urd? If you know what's hurting my Keiichi, please tell me. I have to know before I can try to help him" Belldandy pleaded.
"You" Urd stated softly. "I think you are what's bothering him."
"Me! I'd never do anything to hurt Keiichi. I care for him a great deal."
"I know Bell, I don't think it's something you've done deliberately. "
"Then tell me what I've done so I can try to make it to him. I hope Keiichi can forgive me."
"Calm down Belldandy. Just listen and I'll try to explain." Urd paused to consider Belldandy for a moment. "Bell, how do feel about Keiichi?"
"I care about him a great deal. What does that have to do with how you think I've hurt him?"
"Do you love him? Do you love him as a woman loves a man?" Urd pressed.
Belldandy paused to consider the question carefully while giving Urd a searching look. "Yes" she answered shyly, "Yes I do. I think I have nearly from the beginning of my time with him."
"And how do you think Keiichi feels about you?"
"I know he cares for me. He wished for me to stay with him always. He must care about me. He just has to." she answered hesitantly.
Urd stared at her incredulously for a couple of seconds. "Belldandy, are you completely blind to the way he behaves around you? Keiichi loves you more than anything. Everyone but you apparently can see that. He practically worships you." And I thought the problem was just Keiichi lacking the confidence to make a move on Belldandy. Their problems go deeper than I had feared. "Every other woman on the planet dreams of their boyfriend treating them like a Goddess. Sayoko nearly turns green with envy every time she is around the two of you. For you however, Keiichi treating you as a Goddess is the heart of the problem."
Belldandy's expression flickered between happiness and uncertainty before settling on uncertainty with a just a hint of pain. "I'm not sure I believe he feels that strongly about me no matter how I wish it were so, but how can Keiichi loving me be a problem? Do you disapprove of us being together Urd?"
"No, I don't disapprove. I think the two of you are great together. I've done everything but lock you in a room together to try to push the two of you closer over the past year. The problem isn't that Keiichi loves you. The problem is that Keiichi worships the ground you walk on. He believes that he is unworthy of you. He can't forget that you're a Goddess and he's a mortal."
"My Keiichi is a great man. He is kind, intelligent and has a good heart" Belldandy returned vehemently, horrified that Urd would belittle Keiichi.
"I agree with you Bell. I wasn't trying to insult him. I was trying to explain how he sees you and himself." "By the way the way, when did he become my Keiichi?" Urd asked with a knowing smile.
Belldandy could only return her gaze and smile. She didn't know exactly when he had transitioned from Mr. Keiichi to My Keiichi in her innermost thoughts. They had shared so many significant moments during their time together it was impossible to point to just one and say "That's it. That's when I fell in love." Perhaps it was their very first night together spent talking after being thrown out of Keiichi's dorm due to the no girls allowed policy. Maybe it was after winning their first race, when she saw the excitement shining from his eyes and his exuberant expression and knowing that they had achieved victory together. It could even have been when Sayoko tried to take Keiichi from me. How dare she look that way at my Keiichi? Truthfully, Sayoko's attempt to take him from me likely had more to do with it than I want to admit, she thought with an inward smile. Maybe I do owe Sayoko a bit of gratitude for assistance after all. She better be patient if she's waiting to receive it Belldandy added with just a touch of spite.
Judging by the soft expression playing across Belldandy's face, Urd figured it didn't take the Goddess of Love to figure out what or at least who she was thinking about. "Answer a couple of more questions for me and then we'll try to figure out how to make your Keiichi happy."
"I'll do whatever it takes to make him happy." No matter what or how long it takes Belldandy added with fierce determination.
"Where do think Keiichi will be five years from now? What will his life be like?"
"I'm not sure what you mean Urd. Keiichi will still be same good person that he is now." Belldandy replied.
"Keiichi will finish school in another year and a half. He will probably begin a career building cars or motorcycles or some such after that." Urd could see that Belldandy had a thoughtful look as if she had never given a lot of thought to the changes that the future will inevitable bring. She really is the Goddess of the present I guess. Now for biggie, Urd thought with amusement. "By five years from now, Keiichi will likely either be married or at least thinking of it seriously. He could even have a son or daughter of his own by then. "
Belldandy couldn't prevent the smile from appearing at the vision of Keiichi with his child, a beautiful little girl giggling on his lap or perhaps a son with the same serious look and his father's unruly dark hair. "Keiichi will be a wonderful father someday. His heart is full of love and he should have a family to share it with. I think that would make him very happy."
"I agree" Urd told her. "My last question for you is who do you see with Keiichi in that future as his wife and mother of his children? Are you going to be the one beside him or will someone else claim the primary place in his heart?"
Belldandy's hand flew up to cover her mouth as it dropped open in surprise. "Oh my" she gasped.
"Because if you aren't the one who will be with him" Urd continued before she had a chance to respond, "you are being extremely cruel to Keiichi. He needs to find the woman who will fill that role and I don't see how he can do it with you here. In five years, Keiichi will be in his mid twenties, that's a quarter of a mortal's natural life span. He can't afford to wait forever for you to decide. And, if you're not going to be the one for him do you love him enough to let him go so he can try and move on?"
Belldandy's thoughts were thrown into turmoil as she tried to absorb what Urd was saying. It was obvious that if Keiichi was going to be a child's father, there would have to be a mother involved. It was less obvious to her whom the mother might be.
While she had idly contemplated the future with Keiichi, it was vague and little different than the present. Just thinking about someday having a child that was the fusion of the two of them was enough to bring a warm feeling to her chest. As her mind suddenly darted to what would be required to actually create the hypothetical child, the warm feeling in her chest climbed her neck and into her face.
On the other hand, dare she create a child that would be such a hostage to fortune? Neither Hild nor Marller would have to search far to locate her vulnerable point. Thinking of either of the demons harming the child caused her to clench her teeth in anger.
I don't know if I'm strong enough to stand by and let him go to someone else Belldandy worried. No one would take care of him as like I do. And the mere thought of someone else in his arms and the smile in his eyes directed at them was enough to rend her heart. This would be so much easier if I were a mortal woman, my choice would be clear and I would not hesitate to leap into his arms so we could hold each other forever. But, Urd is right, I'm not a mortal woman.
Suppressing a sob, she leapt to her feet and fled from the temple.
That went well Urd thought sarcastically as she watched her younger sister flee her presence.