hello faithful readers. this chapter you'll find out why Fang wrote in blood. Love the song Once by Diana Vickers. It's amazing.
I can't believe I had left because of Dylan. I left Max once before and that had been like dying. And now I felt like I was dying again after I really had died.
Here we are, a careful distance
Here's my heart, what's left of it
In this town, I used to listen
Once, Once, Yeah
I had hope, blind faith
Had as much as you can take
I had written that first letter in my blood because I had a scrap piece of paper on me plus I had a gash on my leg so it was easy just to write with a feather of mine. I had decided to replace the letter early. I honestly felt like killing myself. But I had to be live as long as Max was alive.
I'm only gonna let you kill me once
I'm only gonna let you kill me then some
I'm only gonna let you kill me
Once, Once, Once, yeah
Once, Once, Once, yeah
Once, Once, Once, yeah
Once, Once...
Without Max I was useless though. Virginia was as rubbish as ever. I wanted to see Max. I wanted to see Angel and Gazzy. I wanted to see Nudge and Iggy. Even if I saw Total I'd be happy. But they were dead all of them. Iggy died in a fire maybe if I was there he may have lived. Maybe if I was there Nudge may have lived to get married and be a mum like she'd always wanted. But no Because I wasn't there they died. And without Max I was slowly dying.
Ashes burn the morning after
Only know I'm here to stay
I was so, I let you see me
That was dumb, but that's OK
Tripping down to your place
What is love anyway
I was flying fast. I felt a tear fall down my cheek. I'd never see Max. Nor would I see Angel or Gazzy. Or the rest of the flock. I was stupid and selfish. I promised Max I'd never leave her after the first time, when she killed my heart after choosing Ari over me. Now look. I'd left over plain stupidity.
I'm only gonna let you kill me once
I'm only gonna let you kill me then some
I'm only gonna let you kill me
Once, Once, Once, yeah
Once, Once, Once, yeah
Once, Once, Once, yeah
I'm only gonna let you kill me
I was nearing the cave. A flash of a smile flew over my face. In fifteen years Max will get the letter. Maybe she'll get it sooner than you think Fang. A young voice floated through my mind. Sounding like a older Angel but that was impossible. Plus why would Max go to the cave now? Many a reason. Why were you there for five years. Maybe there are memories for her to remember. Yup not Angel. I was going insane. I really needed the flock. See I'm imagening Angel talking to me when she is probably in France with Gazzy eating chocolate, remembering Total going into cafe's and wondering if the flock is alive.
Who or whatever you do
Don't let anyone love you
Touch them where it hurts
And then you'll leave
I'm only gonna let you kill me once
I'm only gonna let you kill me then some
I was getting closer. Nudge would of loved to come flying with the hawks. That would of been my last visit before I died. I had planned on when I was going to die I would return one last time. Don't you think Max might do that? The little voice asked. Max. She'd go to the graves write letters to us all and then die beside her family. Is that really how lowly you think of her? You don't think she'd visit the places with the best memories? I am going to land in a mental institution soon, real soon. Or I could die. Nope, wouldn't do that. Max didn't save me for that reason. Max didn't save you so you could run off either. This time the voice had a point. Now I know how Max felt except this is my insanity. It also sounded like Angel, which is why I'm sure I'm going insane.
I'm only gonna let you kill me
Once, Once, Once, yeah
Once, Once, Once, yeah
Once, Once, Once, yeah
I landed gently in the cave and went to where I left my letter. Only to find a different one laying there.
To Fang,
How could you? I have collected you original copy of the letter. You'll get this when you land. Your letter hurt Fang. I wish I had let you die now that this has happened. But no matter what I love you. When/If you find my baby and little trooper tell them I love them and always have. Even when I was kicked out the flock. This will be the last letter written by me. I have had enough the flock died because of me. Because I didn't let you die, because I let Dylan in and you listned to him which led to you leaving, because I didn't stop the fire, because I didn't tell Nudge, Dylan and Total to leave and the same with Mom, Dad and Ella. But mainly because I loved you to much that I can't do anything without you.
I love you and will see you when/if you die.
Love Maximum Ride.
She called herself Maximum which meant this was her meaning it. She blamed everything on herself. She's dying to be with the others. Still the leader though making me find Ange and Gaz. But really it was my fault.
I'm only gonna let you kill me
Once, Once, Once, yeah
Once, Once, Once, yeah
Once, Once, Once, yeah
Once, Once, Once, yeah
I heard soft breathing from behind a rock. like someone sleeping. I walked round and gasped. Then a pair of shocked eyes opened and she jumped into a standing position.
That has to be the easiest cliffy to guess ever.
Anyway.
REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!