Meet the Class

After some effort Yukari managed to look less like a bomb about to go off and more generally angry at life in general. It was only a mild improvement, but it would have to do under the circumstances.

She wasn't naïve. She'd been expecting trouble. She'd maybe even been expecting a fight. However, she'd expected that fight to have the decency to wait until break time. Apparently the new mixed class couldn't even tolerate each other for that long. It wasn't a good omen.

Her carefully planned orientation went out the window. It was improv from here on out. Yukari forced her hand away from her face and made herself confront the situation.

The crying wasn't going away. That had to change soon or she was going to have an aneurism. Yukari folded her arms and put on her best winning smile, but it came out as more of a stern frown. There were many, many good reasons why Yukari didn't teach elementary school. The national education budget couldn't afford the counselling fees, for one.

The crying little girl approached, quieting down slightly in relief as she saw an authority figure. It was to be short-lived.

"Miss, miss, there's a fight in-"

She saw her teacher's steely expression. Her voice dried up.

The girl was adorable, even by elementary school standards. Two teardrop-shaped pigtails sprung from a shock of almost ginger hair. It was well-parted above two great big shining eyes, a cute little nose and a frightened little mouth. The way that mouth curled up in fright was to make the viewer feel like they'd hurt a puppy.

She was certainly giving Yukari a big enough puppy-dog look at the moment. Perhaps the most impressive thing was that it was completely unintentional. She really was that cute when upset.

This little girl would have melted the heart of a demon and a sociopath's love child. Yukari's heart, of course, remained as stony as ever. She was tougher than the afore-mentioned son of darkness; she'd killed him before. He'd gone by Yoshi; Damien was so 1976 apparently.

From a distance, the girl looked mostly normal. What stood out from far away was the fact she was wearing a heavy overcoat despite being indoors. It was a relatively warm April day; the Japanese school year had only just started. She should have been sweltering, yet there wasn't a drop of sweat on her skin despite her unsuitable clothing.

Her skin was also impossibly pale. Almost albino, despite the natural colour of her hair. It was as if she had never seen the sun, let alone set foot under it. It was almost disturbing, but this was a common enough sight to Yukari. She was more bothered by the way it clashed with her hair.

What stood out for Yukari was the girl's eyes.

They were gold. Brilliant, lustrous gold. Gold was definitely not a natural eye colour for humans, and it announced her non-human status like a herald. They were striking, and instantly clashed with her otherwise cute demeanour. The more susceptible individual could probably get lost in them. The fact that they were so big didn't help.

The girl continued to stare up at Yukari and Yukari stared right back. They were akin to a startled deer and a truck.

Yukari sensed that this interaction was going nowhere. She had the information she needed and was about to move towards the developing crisis. Enough time had been wasted.

Then, to her surprise, the girl composed herself and opened her mouth.

As she did so, she revealed two cute little fangs. Yukari might have taken some interest in the implements had she not been too impressed by the girl speaking at all. Despite present circumstances her expression softened a little. Not enough to actually smile, but enough to look bored instead of angry.

The girl's voice came out firm and strong.

"Miss, there's been a fight in-"

Then she saw the bloodstains.

"…is that?..."

Ah, that could take some explaining. The girl's eyes had dilated visibly with shock. Yukari watched in idle curiosity as she slowly lifted a shaking finger.

She pointed to one of the many dark red patches on her… was this her homeroom teacher?... this terrifying stranger's jacket. As she touched it, she drew back with a yelp and looked up at Yukari in stunned silence.

A dozen scared explanations were clearly on their way through her mind, each more sinister than the last. Just what kind of hellish corner of the universe had she stumbled into? Why were the classrooms full of angry giants? Did or did not the homeroom teacher double as a mystery-meat woman? Was her butcher's shop on the gluttonous or rage-filled level of the underworld? Did they do deliveries or did you have to pick it up yourself?

Did that shop specialise in vampire and if so, what was her policy on kids? This was critical information right now!

As impressed as she was by her young student's ability to absorb these terrifyingly urgent questions, Yukari couldn't help but prod her over the edge.

"Don't worry, it's not my blood."

Yukari said this with such impassiveness she might have been talking about the weather. As for the vampire, she was now switching rapidly from staring at the bloodstains, to staring at Yukari, to staring at the bloodstains again.

Judging from the stunned expression on her face, something seemed to have short-circuited within her head.

Sure enough…

*WHUMP!*

Yukari sighed as Chiyo Mihama passed out sideways onto the floor. She'd managed to make one of her students faint and she hadn't even entered the classroom yet. Normally that took at least a term.

Chiyo had at least had the decency to conveniently fall straight into the recovery position. That saved some time at least. Without missing a beat Yukari stepped over her passed out student. Chiyo would be fine. Probably. Yukari was sure she'd do better next time. It would build character. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Other clichés…

She strode towards the door. A fight was unfolding and that was bad enough. With non-human children things could be getting very ugly in there. Yukari had to act now.

She reached for the door handle of class 1-3.

Go in fast and lou-

*WHAM*

Yukari was thrown from her feet as the door handle hit her hard in the stomach. She landed painfully on her back with a growl… or what would have been a growl if the blow hadn't winded her. As it was it was more of a pathetic wheeze.

Yukari was not the kind of person who took getting knocked down lightly. She killed demons at night, taught high schoolers by day and was hard pressed to say which was the more harrowing. She launched herself into the sitting position, eyes alight with fury.

The expression on her face carried the promise of instant doom for the next eternally-disappointing idiot she encountered. Whoever opened that door was…

…running as fast as they could in the opposite direction?

Yukari watched helplessly as what appeared to be a large wolf bounded down the corridor and rounded a corner. Trails of shredded clothing colourfully littered the ground behind her and it didn't take too much time to guess why it, or rather she, had fled the classroom. As Yukari saw the last piece of a skirt detach and fling itself unceremoniously into a corner, she made a mental note to retrieve one of the school's many spare uniforms after homeroom.

Her mind updated her with the latest on the swiftly deteriorating situation. Chiyo Mihama was unconscious from shock and Koyomi Mizuhara had treated every man and gay woman in the classroom to a humiliating strip tease. Though they'd probably been too terrified of the exotic, bestial element to enjoy it properly. It would be days before she entered a classroom without blushes and catcalls.

Today was off to a fantastic start!

The worst part was there was no time to attend to either of these crises because the source of them was still unfolding inside the classroom… which Yukari still hadn't managed to gain access to. She picked herself up and this time, instead of launching herself into the unknown, listened for a second at the door. She wasn't going to die of a ruptured organ via door trauma.

Shouting. Two girls, clearly having a bitter argument. No screams of pain or alarmed cries, so any physical violence had either never started or had stopped by itself.

That was good. At least no one was leaving in a stretcher. If someone had been badly hurt there would have been dead silence or tears.

Now to keep it that way. Without hesitating another moment, Miss Tanizaki threw open the door.

"What the hell is going on in here?!"

Yukari's voice instantaneously filled the entire room, reaching every corner, every ear and every turned head. It was the kind of voice Yukari used only in an emergency; the kind of voice which drowned out all other crises and instantly fixated all attention on her.

Its results were immediate. Eighteen pairs of stunned eyes turned to face the live grenade that had thrown itself into the classroom with them.

Yukari could see the abnormality of what had just happened sink into every boy and girl assembled. Everyone knew there would be consequences now. Discipline and decorum re-established themselves in a moment, and Yukari even registered the sound of one girl breaking into tears.

Excellent. Still got it after the long holidays.

That short sharp shock would only bring a respite. The class would quickly get over their initial shock and start arguing again. That would set the tone for the entire term and then, the entire year. She had to act, but acting rashly would just embroil her in the fight.

With the class at attention, Yukari tensely scanned the room, taking in every detail. It wasn't a pretty picture.

Two human school girls stood at the centre of the furore, both visibly seething with anger.

A girl with black pigtails and a girl with short, spiky hair that almost made her look boyish. The spiky-haired girl looked scared, though she was still red in the face from what had obviously been blind rage earlier. She didn't look like the kind of girl who was used to getting into trouble regularly.

Pig-tails, for her part, was still stealing rapid glares at the object of her anger even if she too was visibly intimidated. Yukari could also see the swollen beginnings of a black eye on her face. That would warrant immediate investigation.

A further look around the classroom rapidly assembled pieces of the puzzle. A girl with shoulder-length black hair stood at the front of the classroom. Her hair was parted by two large feline ears and she had a fur-lined arm clutched to her cheek. A long black tail extended out from under her skirt, rising high enough to reach her ears. Not particularly remarkable then, for a cat.

What was remarkable, and what made her stand out, was the fierce expression on her face.

Yukari could almost feel the waves of anger and humiliation emanating from this girl. She was obviously making an effort to hide it behind an all-business expression, but the narrowed eyes and taut mouth gave her true feelings away. This was an outraged and intensely angry young woman.

Aside from anything else, she couldn't control the shaking, though she was clearly giving it a damn good try.

The source of the outrage was obvious. Beneath her hand a nasty black complexion was obviously forming on her cheek. Someone had slapped her, and hard, just a few minutes ago.

Yukari felt black anger seethe up inside her.

Whoever had done that was the world's biggest coward. Cats were not allowed to fight back. If this girl had tried, she could be facing a lifetime of hard labour. Hopefully she'd stayed her hand and literally turned the other cheek.

Thankfully this girl seemed to have an extraordinary amount of self-control. If she was afraid of Yukari then she certainly didn't show it. In fact, she appeared to be sizing her teacher up. Given the titanic power difference between them, both from their stations and their species, Yukari couldn't help but be impressed. Whoever this girl was, she had guts.

It was becoming clearer why the fight had begun. Yukari continued to scan the room impassively.

Internally, it took all her years of training to suppress her growing anger and disgust.

The other students weren't embroiled in the current conflict but Yukari passed over them anyway. A lot of scared human faces, male and female. All attention was still on her. Good.

Near the back of the class, a colossal young woman stared back at Yukari.

Even Yukari had to take pause at this one, though her expression would never betray it.

This girl was gigantic. She barely fit behind her desk. This was not due to any excess weight, but because of the enormous snake tail that was coiled tightly below her human torso.

Had she fully extended herself Yukari figured she had a good chance of being able to touch the ceiling. As it was she merely towered over every single person in the classroom, with the exception of the standing Yukari. She still reached her teacher's shoulders.

Even by the standard of lamias this girl was a giant.

The rest of her features weren't any less striking. Long, straight black hair flowed down her back. The eyes were human enough, but the dark red irises had an otherworldly property that would have been distinctly unnerving to the uninitiated. Yukari couldn't tell if the intense frown on her face was from anger or carefully arranged nerves.

She didn't look like she belonged in a school, despite the normal, if gigantic uniform. In the Special Forces perhaps.

The only weakness the girl gave away was that she seemed extremely tense. Her eyes, while focussed on her teacher, occasionally glanced sympathetically towards the front of the room. Despite her enormous size and firm disposition Yukari found it difficult to imagine her getting angry.

There was a certain gentle grace about her, Yukari thought. She continued to scan the room.

What she saw next made her blood boil.

Near the back, just one desk away from the rear door, was a young woman.

Her appearance was truly alien.

Her skin was dark blue, for a start. Short, wavy green hair extruded from her head, the same colour as seaweed. Her face might have seemed quite pretty by human standards, but it was marred by two narrow slits that served as a poor replacement for a nose. Pointed, elf-like ears pointed straight back behind her head. She could no doubt hear what was happening behind her more clearly than what was happening to her front.

Her body, or what was visible of it behind her desk, was no less bizarre. Her arms were graced by striking, graceful fins, and yet they ended in webbed hands that looked nothing short of awkward… and incredibly fragile. In fact, her entire slender frame looked incredibly fragile. She was slender, to the point of seeming frail, yet Yukari knew better than to judge by appearances. It was blindingly obvious even to an amateur that this girl's body was not designed for the land. She belonged to the sea.

Confirmation of this was slightly more subtle but still easy to detect. To the sides of her chest Yukari could see ridges under her clothing. She instantly recognised them for what they were. This girl had gills. As for her school uniform, it had quite obviously been heavily modified. Large slits were torn in the sleeves to admit her fins and the proportions of her shirt would have been very hard to find in any normal clothes store. She was taller than average despite her meagre frame.

None of this affected Yukari. What made her blood boil was the fact that this girl was having a mental breakdown. A mental breakdown hardly anyone in the class had noticed.

They'd been too distracted by whatever stupid fight had taken place at the front of the classroom. There were moments where Yukari wanted to grab her students and shake them violently till they grew working eyes and a heart. This was one of those times.

The girl was tensely gripping the far end of her desk, her eyes as wide as saucers. Very human tears were dropping from her face. She shook violently.

To Yukari's relief she wasn't alone. Two girls were by her side, obviously trying to get her to calm down. They were the only ones who seemed to have noticed what was going on.

One of the girls was definitely human. Short and slender, with short, black hair cut in a bob, she definitely fit most people's definition of cute. Of the two girls she was the more active, sitting right up close to the strange girl. She was whispering reassurances to her and was the only one, in fact, that wasn't paying any attention to her teacher.

Yukari grimly noted that at least one of her pupils had their priorities sorted out.

She seemed to be trying to convince the mergirl to quietly leave the classroom, which Yukari silently agreed was the best course of action. However, she clearly lacked the will to physically carry her out of the class. Yukari could see from the terrorised expression on the mergirl's face that she wouldn't be leaving under her own steam. She would have to be guided.

Yukari was no stranger to difficult classes, but even to her this was turning into a nightmare.

The last girl appeared to be trying to get her attention, though she was clearly unwilling to shout. Yukari was silently grateful for that, though she wasn't sure if the girl was being tactful, was far too polite or was simply too scared to do anything more proactive than raise her hand. At any rate, she was quiet, for now.

She was also an elf, which was strange enough on its own. They had equal rights to humans and inhabited their own cities near the old Mori Clan domains. The elven capital, Osaka, was specially built for their unique environmental requirements in mind. Outside the ever-present requirements of business and trade modern civilisation demanded, few elves visited human cities. They still swore loyalty to the president though.

The elves were one of the few races that humanity regarded as equals. It wasn't racism but biological differences that kept the two races apart.

The problem was that human environments poisoned elves.

This girl couldn't use a plastic pen. She couldn't wear artificial clothing. If she took off the enchanted surgical mask she was wearing the lingering pollution in the air would start to irritate her lungs. Outside it would slowly start to poison her, and as for breathing in a mouthful of car fumes…

…that would be enough for a hospital visit. If she was lucky and the paramedics got there in time.

Plastic was toxic to elves. So was tarmac and every other product of the oil age. Radiation was just as fatal. They had specialised dietary requirements that excluded all kinds of man-made flavourings and preservatives. Alcohol was deadly, drugs worse and all of this was just the tip of the many natural restrictions elves had around products of the modern age.

This girl was literally surrounded by things that could kill her.

She was even sitting in a wooden chair. A plastic one would leave a rash for days.

In other words, there were very few rational reasons for this girl to be in a human city, studying in a human school. There were far healthier environments for her to spend her senior education in. Even to Yukari, who had read her file and background, her presence here was a mystery. Did the elven council send a girl here just to prove a point?

If so, it was an odd point. Elves were stereotyped as being snooty, arrogant and incredibly beautiful. Tall, graceful, beautiful silvery-blonde hair, and the voices… oh, the voices of refined angels.

None of that applied to this girl.

She was incredibly, unbelievably plain. Not ugly, not the kind of girl who would send every potential date running for cover in moments. No, just… incredibly average. A slightly chubby face contained two big, vacant eyes that seemed dreamy and away with the fairies even as they urgently tried to draw attention towards an emergency. The way the muscles around her mouth relaxed despite her urgent gestures… everything about this girl shouted "space cadet, eleven o'clock."

Graceful would never describe this girl and neither would sharp, for that matter. Both of which were fundamental parts of being elvish!

On top of that she had plain brown hair and a dumpy, square body that had absolutely nothing of interest to speak of. Yukari wondered if she had found the no doubt proud owner of the most boring body on the planet.

There was literally nothing there to talk about; this was the most average girl in the world. If she didn't have pointy ears she would be indistinguishable from humanity.

She was so average, she stood out.

As she waited patiently with her hand in the air, Yukari forced away her wonder at the total non-wonder and examined the mess in front of her. She broke it down into its elements.

A girl was having a panic attack. Two girls had been hit. The atmosphere of the class was poisoned and the students were more focussed on the species divide than they were on their studies. More enemies and bitter rivals had been made in five minutes than would have normally been made in three years.

On top of that an elementary school student was passed out in the middle of the corridor seconds before homeroom was due to empty out. And somewhere, another student was probably crying in a bathroom somewhere wondering how many years it would be before she could show her face in a classroom again.

This was a teacher's worst nightmare. There were some teachers who would probably have had a panic attack. More would have been reduced to yelling and others would have simply gone for help.

Yukari wasn't any of them however. She knew exactly how she was going to deal with the crisis.

Without shouting, in words that were almost a whisper, she gave the class their instruction so quietly that the ones in the back had to lean forward to hear it. It was not repeated.

"Everyone write your name on the board, now."