I DONT OWN SOUTH PARK
Dear Kenny,
It's been 4 months. Exactly 4 months since you died. 4 long sorrowful months I've been without you. 4 months I've lived with Stan, cause you weren't here. I claim to love him. And I do! Just not the way I love you. I love you with a burning passion. You were my one and only. When you died a part of me did too. Stan knows I don't love him like that. Stan is pretty much my coping buddy. I've used him these past 4 months for a shoulder to cry on and ears to listen to my vents. 4 months is too long. I've been without your love for 4 months. 4 months I've regretted leaving you go to the grocery store on your own. 4 months I've been searching for the bastards that shot you. 4 months I've had no success. You're gone. I might as well face it. There is nothing I can do but cry about it. I can't change anything. I know you still loves me up in heaven.
I hope you still loves me up in heaven.
Kyle Broflovski
"Kyle! Time for bed" Stan yelled.
It is 11:00 PM in South Park, Colorado. It is time for Stan and I too go to sleep. I closed my diary, where all entries are addressed to you. I got out of my desk chair and gently placed the diary in the center of the vanity in my home office, which is more like a shrine dedicated to you. I left my office, went to our room and put my pajamas on. I laid in bed next to Stan. I don't want to sleep. I miss you too much to even think about sleeping. Stan was horny, I could tell from the little lump in the bed. He was seducing me and it felt wrong. I don't want him. I want you.
"Stan, I'm still not ready yet. You know I'm not over Kenny." I sighed
"alright, sorry babe." he kissed the top of my head and turned around on your side of the bed to avoid the same speech I give him every day.
I hope you're not angry that I let him sleep there, but you know I don't like to sleep alone. Maybe 20 minutes later I heard him snoring. Good. He's asleep. I tried to fall asleep myself but I heard my name.
"Kyle." I heard a soft hushed voice say.
I'm hearing things. There's no one calling me.
I heard it a few more times.
"Kyle, Kyle, Kyle." it whispered almost seductively.
It sounded too familiar. But I couldn't put my finger on that voice.
Wait! what? I'm not hearing voices! It's all in my head. I thought to myself. My lose of you had finally driven me to insanity.
I got out the bed and heard Stan rustle under the sheets. I went into the adjacent bathroom. I stood in front of the sink and looked at myself in the mirror that hung above it.
I opened the faucet and cupped some water in my hands. I splashed my face with the cold water then shook my now wet bangs.
The voice came back. I heard it. It changed it's phrase though.
"Kyle, it's me Kenny. Can't you see me?" the voiced sounded like it was positioned right behind me.
Honey why you calling me so late It's kinda hard to talk right now Honey why you crying is everything ok Gotta whisper cause I can't speak too loud
"Kenny" I whispered worried I would wake Stan, "No Kenny I don't see you" I closed and locked the bathroom door and looked around me, then back in the mirror
"Babe, look again." the voice whispered
I looked at the mirror and saw you. You were ghostly, almost like wispy clouds. But you were beautiful.
My eyes filled with tears as you made your way over to me. You were right behind me. I saw you in the mirror, and I turned around to look at your ghost directly. I looked into your now ghostly sapphire eyes and almost sobbed at how happy I was to see you.
"see me now?" you smirked
"yes, yes, I see you." I cried out.
It was really you! You were really here. I could see you. The same way you left me. You blood was still on your clothes. But that was okay. You were there.
I could touch you. I laid my hand on your shoulder and I felt you. I didn't slip through you like I suspected. I could feel you. And you could feel me. I knew you could. You moaned as I ran my fingers up and down your back. Like you had when you were alive and we were together. It turned you on. Even if it was in the afterlife, you were still you, hadn't changed a bit.
I laid my head on your chest like I did when I was upset. You now ran your fingers down my back as you asked what was wrong.
Well my girls in the next room Sometimes I wish she was you I guess we never really moved on
"I miss you Kenny." I sobbed out, "I miss you a lot."
"I know you do, I miss you too babe." you laid your head on mine and kissed the top of my head, "damn fate for taking you from me." he smirked
We stayed quite for a while until we heard snoring from the other room.
"who are you sleeping with?" You asked disappointedly
"Stan, he lives with me now. He takes care of me. You know I don't like to be alone. I hope you don't mind he sleeps in our bed." I sounded apologetic
"it's fine, babe, but you don't love him...right?" he questioned
"not like I love you. I'll never love anyone like I love you. Not ever, promise!" I kissed you
"I trust you, Kyle"
"how long can you stay?" I asked, hoping it would stop the current conversation
"until sunrise. Then I have to go back to hell" you sighed out
Hell, my lovely was is hell? I thought to myself
"Hell?" I asked
"only Mormons are allowed into heaven. Hell actually isn't that bad." you laughed
"will you ever visit again?" I asked
"hopefully very often, maybe even every night." your face said otherwise.
"you're lying to me." I pointed out.
he sighed, "this will be my first and last visit. Sorry Kyle." you were sobbing now
"what? Why?" I panicked
"Satan only gave me this visit because I beat him in Chess and that was the deal. I won't be coming back." you sat on the floor.
"can't you play again?" I sat across from you.
"one game every 100 years. you'll be dead too by the time I get to come up again." I took your hand in my own and kissed it.
"then we will make the most of the night we have together." I smiled.
I tackled you and kissed you senseless. I have missed your skin, your hands, your lips, your hair; even if they were all ice cold.
It's really good to hear your voice saying my name it sounds so sweet coming from the lips of an angel hearing those words it makes me weak
"What have you been up to?" you asked, trying to make conversation
"I've been coping. Trying to keep up with my job, but my pain is too much to handle sometimes." I rubbed my head against your chest.
You ran your fingers through my hair, "I'm sorry I've caused you so much trouble. I always wanted your life to be simple." you said sympathetically.
And I never wanna say goodbye but girl you make it hard to be faithful with the lips of an angel.
"I miss you." I cried into your chest
"I miss you too." you tried to comfort me
"I dream of you, all the time." I sobbed some more
"I think about you all the time. You're never not on my mind." you confessed whole heartedly
"Why can't you stay here? We could live like this forever." I whispered through a yawn.
"You're tired. Why don't you sleep?" you ran your fingers through my hair.
"Not a chance. I only have one night with you. I'm not wasting it sleeping." I looked up you.
It's funny that your calling me tonight And yes I dreamt of you too He doesn't know your talking to me Will it start a fight No I don't think she has a clue
"Kyle." you kissed my forehead, "It's a Monday night. You have work tomorrow. I don't wanna be the reason you lose your job. Sleep. I'll hold you all night long. I promise."
"Will you wake me before you leave?" I asked, worried I again wouldn't get to say goodbye or tell you how much I love you.
"I promise. I will wake you before sunrise." you positioned me in your arms in a way that made it impossible for me not to fall asleep.
Well my girls in the next room Sometimes I wish she was you I guess we never really moved on.
I fell asleep in your arms. I haven't felt this at peace for the longest time.
It's really good to hear your voice saying my name it sounds so sweet Coming from the lips of an angel hearing those words it makes me weak
"Kyle." you whispered like you had last night.
My eyes shot open and I looked up at you.
"The sun is rising. I'm gonna be leaving soon." I sensed the sadness in your words
"Already." I sounded like a child.
"Yes, my love." a single tear fell from your eye, "I really done want to leave, but Devil's orders."
And I never wanna say goodbye but girl you make it hard to be faithful with the lips of an angel
"Kiss me." I exclaimed, "one last kiss before you leave forever."
You obeyed. You always had when I asked such a simple task. You picked up my head and gently pressed your icy lips to mine. The last time I'll ever get to taste you. And you made it perfect.
It's really good to hear your voice saying my name it sounds so sweet coming from the lips of an angel hearing those words it makes me weak
Our lips parted and the dimmest rays of sunlight peeked through the bathroom window. We had to hurry. You would be called soon.
"Kenny. Just know I'll always love you. And I miss you like crazy now that you're gone! And know that I will never have anyone replace you in my heart." I saw you fade before my eyes, "It is for you and only you! I love you too much for words! Goodbye my love." I said as quickly as I could before I could no longer see you.
You never got to say goodbye to me. Now I feel selfish.
And I never wanna say goodbye but girl you make it hard to be faithful with the lips of an angel
I cried myself to sleep on the bathroom floor. You had only been gone for a few seconds and I already missed you again.
never wanna say goodbye but girl you make it hard to be faithful with the lips of an angel