Thank you all for your wonderful feedback! To assure this goes off without a hitch, I may have had to warp the timeline (and canon) "a little bit". So, without further ado…

Chapter 2

"What is this thing?!" Garrus asked.

"This, my friend, is a karaoke machine." Kaidan said without even averting his eyes from the machine.

"I've taken the liberty to add a few songs to the collection." the disembodied voice of Kasumi piped up. "Mainly turian stuff, to even out the odds."

Kaidan made big eyes. "But… but… I don't have subvocals! I couldn't sing any of those songs."

"Aw, don't worry, Kaidan," Shepard assured him, "this isn't just a karaoke machine. We can make dance-offs, too." Now you could even hear the smirk on her face. "And my female friends and I will be the judge of your dance performances. Isn't that great?" she asked with way too much enthusiasm for the taste of the two contestants.

Garrus furrowed his brow and nudged Kaidan. "How many 'friends' did Shepard invite?" he whispered. Somehow, they both had lost their overall confidence by now.

"We even got the best commentator we could get." the commander said. "Please welcome… Samara!"

"Shepard, I don't… I may have lived for almost a millennium, but the code never said anything about this kind of tournament."

"Hey, it's kind of like a duel. Surely a justicar knows how to conduct a duel?"

"Well, yes… of course… but I doubt these two men are quite familiar with ceremonial asari duels."

"Nonsense, Samara. Just tell the audience what is happening and what will happen and we are golden. I didn't make you watch those old 'American Gladiator' vids for nothing."

"No, Shepard. You ask too much. This is cruel and degrading. You can't ask me to be part of this."

Shepard sighed. "Fine. Anyone else? Jack?"

"No, thanks. I'll enjoy watching it, but hell if I commentate the damn thing." the former convict laughed.

"What about you, Rachni Queen?"

The two men shared incredulous looks. Shepard smuggled the Rachni Queen on the Citadel for a sing-off?

"We are honored by your proposal, Commander Shepard. The use of songs to find a mate has a long tradition for us. But we'd rather not be the one to comment it. This is far too intimate."

"Ugh, alright. I'll do it myself. Welcome, contestants, and audience of course. We gathered today to bear witness to the duel between Kaidan Alenko, buttchinned biotic, and Garrus Vakarian, rocket-eating former vigilante."

A spotlight lit up, revealing a sign with big pictograms on it.

"This, dear contestants, is the rule board. This contest consists of at least five rounds of one sing-off and one dance-off for each contestant. Should we have a tie at the end, the game continues, with sudden death rules. Not a rule per se, but old earth music yields bonus points with me."

Another spotlight illuminated a rather large wheel whose spokes were in different colors.

"We could have used a digital one, but I felt nostalgic when I got my hands on the karaoke machine. Let's spin the wheel of misfortune, shall we? Don't worry, no diaper duty on it." She chuckled on her own inside joke, but as no one else laughed, she rolled her eyes and just pushed a button that let a mechanic arm set the wheel in motion.

When the wheel stopped, Shepard let out a little laugh of joy. "Wow, we get to the good meat right in the first round. The first category is… 'Songs about Sex'! I swear, I didn't rig the thing. Who wants to go first?"

Kaidan and Garrus shared a look and a silent conversation. Every bit of confidence had been swallowed up by Shepard's game. In the end, they waited too long.

"Gabby, what do you say? Brilliant! Gabby here has an idea! The first to come up with a song doesn't have to start."

"Like a Virgin, by Madonna." came the answer after a few moments awkward silence.

"Bold choice, Garrus. You do know that you have to sing it, right?"

The turian's cheeks turned a deep shade of blue. This was a promising start.

"Now what about you, Kaidan? Drawing a blank?" Shepard taunted. They should know from the start there was no backing out now.

"I take 'You Can Leave Your Hat On' by Randy Newman." the biotic said with surprising confidence.

"Ouh, I like this one! It's perfect for… um, well, things I like. Let's leave it at that."

The whole building quirked an eyebrow, but was wise enough not to comment on it.

"Anyhow… Let. The. Games. Begin!"

Ugh. I hate being sick. This is what I scrounged up when I was still somewhat able to write. Now, I only made a little ending transition to the next chapter. As I don't think that I can finish it in time (being sick sucks), this or the next chapter will probably the end. I have a little ending planned that I want to bring in for the competition.