I was lost in my own little world trying unsuccessfully to remember who I was when I noticed movement in the hallway. Glancing from the corner of my eye I saw three guards placing a prisoner in the cell across from me. Deciding it was much too fun to live in my imagination at the moment I paid him no more attention and instead withdrew into my mind once again. Within myself I felt as if there were three different personalities. Not as in multiple personality disorder but like three branches that made up my overall personality. The three were very distinct and just for fun I decided to name them. Lulu was goofy and silly and somewhat childish. This part of me enjoyed imagining myself in my own little world where I was far away from Arkham. Trixie was a badass and could handle her own. This part of me was aggressive and emotionally distant. When Trixie came out I was confrontational and was prone to my little episodes, as the shrinks called them. Rayne was wise and the most levelheaded. This part of me was smart and clever and was constantly watching and observing. Rayne was the most prominent part of my personality and kept Trixie in check most of the time.

Over the next few days I noticed the guy across from me studying me. Most of the time I paid no attention but a few times I would stand at the glass and just stare at him, trying to figure him out. He had traces of face paint around the edges of his face and I could only imagine why. He was obviously a major criminal since he was housed in the maximum security block. A few times I swore I should know who he was but every time I tried to recall my mind was blank.

The schizophrenic let out another ear piercing scream but I barely flinched. I knew that at any moment guards were going to arrive to take me to my first therapy session of the day. Seeing as how I have decided against talking with them I like to play little games during my sessions. I think my games are some part of the reason I go through so many different shrinks. Lulu has fun pretending to stare madly at them and thinking of new ways to try and freak them out. Dr. Raynor, one of my current shrinks, is the only one to be on my case for more than a week. He has been attempting to work with me for about a month now. My other shrink quit yesterday so my afternoon session should be interesting seeing as I meet yet another bright, young, doctor who wants to be the one to crack me.

Soon enough a guard approached and punched in the code for my door. I did not move causing him walk in and grab my arm. Trixie flares up. How dare he just manhandle me like that. I would have gotten up when I was damn well ready. Sorry for not being fast enough. Rayne quickly stepped in and put Trixie in check. No need to show off for the new guy, who I have decided to call 623, just yet. A look of boredom quickly spread across my face, leaving no sign of my angry streak, as I trudged out of my cell. The walk to the therapy room was short and soon I was sitting inside across the table from Dr. Raynor. As usual he had my file and a notepad ready in case he made any progress.

"Hello today. I hear the cell across from you is now occupied," he said trying to see if I would respond.

I stared at him as Lulu slowly came to the surface. While I was contemplating what game to play today I vaguely registered Dr. Raynor say something to the effect of if I do not talk at all I might forget how. A silent snicker fell across my face as Lulu decided to have a little fun. Getting up slowly I began to walk around the table. Being used to me walking around the room Dr. Raynor did not seem too interested at first. I came to stand right next to him and stared blankly down at his notepad.

"Do you want my notepad? Is there something you want to write down?" he asked hopefully.

I continued to stare as he pushed it slowly in front of me then set his pen down on it. Today I had decided to see if I literally spelled it out for him if Dr. Raynor would be smart enough to figure it out. Though Rayne was against the idea, fearing I would give too much information, Lulu was far too excited. As for Trixie, well she was still pissed about the guard. I grabbed the pen and notepad then walked over to the corner and took a seat on the floor. Dr. Raynor turned and watched me curiously but did not move from his chair. I tapped the pen against the notepad playing as if I was deep in thought. In reality though Lulu was laughing on the inside wondering what Dr. Raynor would think of the clue I was going to give him. Noticing a small spot on the top sheet I quickly ripped it off and crumpled it up. I wanted a clean sheet for what I was going to write. Finally bringing the pen down I began to write. It took a few minutes but eventually I managed to fill the page writing 'Lulu' over and over again. Tearing off that page I gently set it down then filled two more, one with 'Trixie' and the other with 'Rayne'. When I was finished I got up and walked back over to Dr. Raynor. I set the notepad and pen down on the table then handed Dr. Raynor the three pages I wrote on. He looked at them confused then back at me. I smiled widely down at him then started for the chair on the opposite side of the table.

For the rest of our session I sat there and stared at him with the smile still plastered on my face. By the time we were done I could tell that I had made Dr. Raynor feel uneasy. When time was up he hurried out of the room. Lulu was feeling playful still and when the guard came to take me back to my cell I was lost in my imagination. I was pretending I was on the hunt for my memory and that I had to make my way through a forest to find it. As we walked down the hall I would duck or jump to avoid imaginary obstacles. When I was finally back in my cell I decided that trying to get through the forest was too hard so I walked out of it and into a field of flowers. I spun around a few times before collapsing on the floor with a playful smile spread wide across my face. Tilting my head back slightly I looked across the hall at 623. He was staring intently at me with his left eyebrow cocked in a look of intrigue. Lulu found it extremely funny so I pretended to giggle without making any sound. I ended up silently laughing so hard I had to clutch my sides because they hurt.

Eventually Rayne surfaced and calmed Lulu down. For the moment I was actually quite comfortable lying on my back on the floor. Rayne decided to try and figure out who I was again so I was concentrating deeply on attempting to pull any information from my memory. It seemed like every time I got close my whole brain would shut down. This is usually when I had a so called episode. Trixie would surface right before but I could never remember why I would have one. During them was the only time I would talk but whenever I was told what I said none of it would make any sense.

Today Rayne was digging and digging but I knew that if I did not stop it would get bad. I could not bring myself to pull back though. I was desperate. I wanted to know who I was and what had happened to me. Suddenly Rayne disappeared and Trixie came forward. I could feel my whole body tense up as rage washed over me. I brought my hands up and gripped my head. It felt like a raging fire was consuming my brain.

"Get it out of my head, get it out of my head," I suddenly screamed, digging my nails in hard enough to draw blood.

I let out a guttural scream and thrashed against the floor. Something bad had happened to me. I was sure of that.

"Why did you let them do it? Where were you? You were supposed to protect me!" I screamed angrily at the top of my lungs.

Rolling over and getting to my knees I jerked my head up and stared at 623. It was only for a split second though as I slammed both fists into the concrete floor.

"Oh god no. No! What did you do? Why? Why?" I yelled harshly.

I barely had time to register the guards unlocking my door before they were inside trying to restrain me.

"Get off me! No don't do this to me! I need to know. Don't hurt me," I screamed as they tried to grab me.

Rage filled my eyes and I lashed out at all of them. I kicked one hard in the shin and managed to scratch another on the arm before they knocked me to the floor. They had left my door open, following protocol, and I fell halfway out into the corridor. Trying my best to grip the smooth concrete floor I looked up at man in the cell across from mine. Suddenly all the sounds around me faded and the edges of my vision blurred so I focused solely on him.

"Help me," I whispered.

It lasted only a second and then it was over. One of the guards had a hold of my ankles and dragged me back into my cell. My fingernails ripped across the concrete leaving small trails of blood until I was forced into a straight jacket. I was screaming madly, my voice growing hoarse with each passing second. Trixie was furious and I was doing everything I could to get away from the guards. One of them grabbed my shoulders and another one my feet. I thrashed around as they did their best to carry me down the hall.

After getting checked out at the infirmary I was put back into a straight jacket and placed in one of the temporary padded isolation cells. Lulu was frightened and scared. Whatever it was I was trying to remember was something terrible. Silent tears streamed down my face as I sat in the corner trying to forget everything that had just happened. My whole body ached and the tips of my fingers burned where the nails had been torn or ripped off. Feeling exhausted and wanting to be rid of my throbbing headache I lay down on the padded floor and drifted off to sleep.

The sound of the cell door opening pulled me from my uneasy slumber. As I sat up and shook the sleep from my still puffy face I saw a young female shrink walk in. A fake smile was placed flawlessly on her face with her clipboard in hand. She peered at me through her thin rimmed glasses then took a seat on the floor and leaned against the wall opposite me.

"Hi. I'm Dr. Georgina Buford. I'll be your new therapist for your afternoon sessions," she said cheerfully.
I stared at her blankly, trying to figure out how easy she would be to scare away.
"In looking over your file it says you haven't actually talked, minus your episodes, for almost five months now. When you were first admitted and still talking I see a few notes stating how incoherent your speech and thought process were," she paused, seeing how I would react before she continued, "Anyway, I also see that ever since you've stopped talking you've been through quite a string of psychologists. I just want to let you know that I'm not like the others. It doesn't bother me that you don't talk. I figure that you will when you're ready and until then I'll just try my best to reassure you that you're in a safe environment and I'm here to help you."

I continued to stare at her. I have heard this all before. Each new shrink that gets my case thinks they will be different than the last and that they will do things on my time.

"I see noted here that you gave Dr. Raynor three pieces of paper this morning during your session. On one you'd written Lulu, another Trixie, and the last Rayne. None of those however are your name. You do know your name don't you? Well if not I could tell you but I think it'd be best for you to figure it out on your own."

I was still in my straight jacket but Lulu was feeling feisty. Slowly I got to my feet and began walking around the edge of the small cell. When I reached where Dr. Buford was sitting I leaned down and stared at her. I could tell she was tense and nervous; probably debating on if she needed to call for the guards.

"Is there anything you'd like to know about me?" she asked seemingly gaining courage.
I smiled slightly then shook my head no.
"Alright, well anything I can do for you?"
I tilted my head up, playing at being deep in thought then stared back at her and shook my arms.
"You want the straight jacket off?"
I nodded fervently.
"Well, alright, turn around," she said reluctantly.

Once I was free from it I walked to the corner furthest from her and sat down. I stared at my hands, turning them over a few times to examine them. My fingers had been bandaged at the infirmary and there were tiny abrasions along my knuckles from when I punched the floor. Just wanting to forget what had happened Lulu was feeling playful. Glancing towards Dr. Buford I noticed she was watching me curiously and scribbling something on her clipboard. I darted my eyes all around the room then decided to stand. Walking to the middle Lulu decided I should spin in circles, as if I was back in the field from my adventure in my imagination earlier. A playful look crept over my face as I let go of every thought except what it would feel like to be spinning in circles in a field of flowers, free from this place. Dr. Buford was watching me intently and when I was done I crouched down in front of her and pointed to the three sheets of paper that I wrote on. She looked at me quizzically then down at the sheets.

"What do these have to do with you spinning in circles?" she asked me.
A child like smile slipped over my lips as I laughed silently in my head.

I retreated to the corner furthest from Dr. Buford for the remainder of our session. Rayne wanted time to analyze her and Lulu just wanted to be back in my regular cell.

My opinion of Dr. Buford so far was that she wanted to seem like she truly was different but she really was not. It was interesting though that she did not bring up my episode at all and instead kept questions to a minimum. In all reality she did not seem to know what exactly she was doing. It was as if she was just kind of making it up as she went.

This won't turn out to be the typical Joker story. This is not a Joker romance.

Let me know what you think!