East Texas
Sheldon Cooper, Age 5
"What you're saying is that the world is only 6,000 years old, and that dinosaurs walked on the Earth with man?" I asked.
"That's right, God created the Earth and animals in six days, and he rested on the seventh," my overly perky Sunday School teacher said.
"If what you're saying is true, how is it that they all died out? If man really walked among dinosaurs, wouldn't the large carnivorous reptilians make us their mid-afternoon snack? How would the ark hold all of the animals as well as the largest animals to ever walk the earth, such as the brachiosaurus (which is my fourth favorite dinosaur behind the pterodactyl, tyrannosaurus rex, and the velociraptor)?!"
"Ummm..."
"It's preposterous to think so! The boat would have sunk, leaving everything on the earth to die and ending all of humanity as we know it!"
All of the kids just stared at me with the jaws hanging down. Finally, the truth was finally to be acknowledged to my peers! Perhaps they would finally believe me whenever I say cavemen existed way before Adam and Eve were ever created!
5 minutes later...
"SHELDON LEE COOPER!"
There was no reason to look up at my mother as she screamed down the church hallway. I had once again been kicked out of class. I knew what horror was coming to me.
"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE SPREADING LIES AGAIN STARTED BY THOSE EVIL COMMUNISTS SOVIETS!"
"But Mother, they're not lies, they're scientific facts. And fossil dating is done everywhere, certainly not a Russian plot."
"That does it!" My mother exclaimed as she grabbed my ear and dragged me down the hall. "I will not have you spreading such hicky hockey in the Lord's house! It's off to the nursery for you!"
"Not the nursery," I begged, "the odor they produce is most excruciating!"
"And no Professor Proton for a week! I'm tired of that crackpot hooligan putting ideas in your head!"
"NOOOOOOOOOO!"
Just so everyone knows, I am a Christian so I am not trying to portray them as a whole poorly. I am not a fundamentalist or a new world creationist, however (Google it if you don't know the difference between them and mainstream Christians), so I don't mind bringing out that stereotype since that's how Sheldon was raised.
I wanted to get this up sooner, but someone hit a street pole here last Friday and my internet and television was out for 5 days.
And how about that new episode tonight?! I won't post any spoilers, but Oh. My. Gosh. That was really sweet! Go Shamy! =)
Up next is Ms. Penny :D