Chapter Two (Refreshing Silence)
Three Years Later
"So Buffster…plans for the weekend?" Xander asks as he shoves a handful of chips into his mouth, chomping away.
"Yeah Buffy, we were thinking of going out to a club this weekend… what do you say? It's been a long time since you've been out with us… or out at all really," Willow chimes in, making a move to get a handful of chips from the bag. Xander pulls it out of her reach just before she gets any though and she makes a funny little pout.
"Get your own patrol snacks!" Xander says, making me chuckle.
It is just the three of us on patrol tonight, something we don't get to do very often anymore. Everyone has moved on with their lives after Sunnydale here in Cleveland and has their own thing going on so our best friend bonding time is limited at best. We spend all day every day together, but usually we are all hard at work dealing with one problem or an apocalypse or something like that. It feels like we never get to just hang out anymore.
Xander got married to one of the slayers that came to train at the facility, Melissa, just about a year ago and they are expecting their first baby in a few months. They live in a nice little house on the property of the training facility that he built for them, as Xander still runs the security for the place. Willow and Kennedy are still together and still living at the house with the rest of us. I have grown to love Ken as the years ticked on and she has been a great help in getting the young girls trained. She is my second in command and I trust her beyond what I ever thought possible. Willow is still the head of the magic department and Giles' eyes and ears around the school. He mostly stays in his office doing work and researching… I guess not much has changed with him. He has aged quite a bit, but the stress of the training facility was a lot for him to handle. Plus… it is like we are all his children and raising us has definitely been a journey all in itself. If that doesn't age you I don't know what will.
It's been three years and we are just now starting to get the hang on what it is like on a daily basis. Dawn is living away from us now… going to college somewhere nearby but far enough away she feels like she can have her own life. She graduated early right after we moved to Cleveland and has been living in the dorms at the college for over a year now. She comes to visit from time to time and stays with us on breaks. Actually, we expect her tomorrow because it is the official start of Christmas break. She said she is bringing a surprise with her… and I'm hoping it isn't a new boyfriend. No matter what anyone says… I do not and will never like the boy that is sleeping with my baby sister. Even when she's 30. It is just disgusting.
"I miss this," I say as Xander and Willow continue their little banter back and forth. "Us I mean… hanging out on patrol. It is so Sunnydale."
"It does feel like it's been forever since it was just the three of us on patrol. Now a days with the patrol schedule and the fifty plus slayers to handle it. You're right Buffy, it's like old times," Willow says as she uses her magic to pull the bag of chips from Xander's hands and into her own. She takes a large handful and shoves some into her mouth with a girlish giggle.
"That's cheating!" he says as she hands it back to him and I can't help but laugh. We continue walking through the cold December night.
"So Dawnie comes home tomorrow huh?" Willow asks me as we shuffle our feet through the thin layer of snow that covers the ground.
"Yea.I guess so. It's been a while… I haven't even talked to her… I've tried, but you know…" I say as I glance around the graveyard. I am having a strange feeling in the back of my neck… a little tingle. My head darts back and forth as I squint to see into the distance. There is no movement though… nothing.
"You okay Buff? You look a little spooked," Xander asks and states as he rests a hand on my shoulder.
"Uh… it's nothing… I just… I just thought," I stammer as the wind picks up. "Never mind," I say pushing the feeling aside and shrugging his hand off of my shoulder. I know what I thought, but I didn't want to say it to them. "What were we talking about?"
"Dawn coming home for the holidays. About how she doesn't talk to you. Maybe this will be a chance for the two of you to mend the fences… things haven't been the same since…" Willow breaks off as she says the last of the sentence and her words fade into the night.
"It's okay Will… I'm okay talking about her. "The truth is I am not okay talking about her which is why I didn't tell them what I was thinking just a few seconds ago when I had that strange tingle in the back of my neck. It is one I only used to get when Faith was near. I could feel it so strongly when we were together and I haven't felt it since.
Willow is right… it's been three years since Faith walked out on me. Left me without giving me a chance to explain or tell her how much I love her. I spent six months in a deep depression. Willow even found her once and went and tried to talk some sense into her. Nothing worked. She had convinced herself that I didn't love her and that I was just using her. Willow barely got a sentence out before Faith was gone again and we haven't heard from her since.
I should say that I haven't heard from her since. She keeps in touch with Giles, letting him know her location and what is going on with her slaying and vampire situation. It was a rough time for us, Giles and me… because he refused to tell me where she was. It took a long time for me to come to terms with what happened, and even now I don't think I really have. I still love her. With every fiber of my being I love her. I miss her and wait for her every moment of every day and hope that some miracle will bring her back to me… let me see her and tell her once and for all just how much she means to me.
I spent a large part of the time being angry with her too… blaming her for the way things ended between us. I was so conflicted for so long… being so in love with someone who hurt me more than anyone else I have ever known. But after time I let the anger go. It was hard to move on without her and not just for me either. She really had become a part of the family and everyone missed her presence. It put a huge strain on my relationship with Dawn. They had grown close since the battle, almost like sisters. Dawn blamed me for Faith leaving and I don't know that she ever has fully forgiven me for that day, hence the reason that it has been a little over a year since we have actually spoken words to each other.
"Buffy? Did you go off into Faith land again?" Xander asks softly as the sound of his voice brings me out of my thoughts and back to reality.
"I'm sorry," I whisper as I fight back the tears. He wraps his arms around me soothingly and lets out a sigh.
"It's okay Buff… I know you miss her. "I relax into his arms and smile when I feel Willow wrap her arms around me from the other side.
"Felt like a group hug time," she says with a giggle. We are lost in our little moment together and it makes me feel safe and calm. It's moments like this that I feel like I can conquer the world. The moments when I am in the middle of a we-love-Buffy-sandwich and nothing can hurt me.
"Oh, isn't that cute!" I hear a deep voice say from behind Willow. We quickly release from our embrace and stand side by side. Years ago I would have pushed Willow and Xander behind me, and taken the lead. There is a group of four vampires all hungry and thinking we are going to be their next meal. But like I said… things have changed since Sunnydale. Xander is no longer just the boy that gets the donuts… though he still does that better than anyone I know. He has become a valued member of a patrol squad, knowing more about most of the weapons we have than I do. He can hold his own in a fight and I know that now without a doubt. Willow has grown to be more powerful than I could have ever imagined. It would be a lie to say I was stronger than her, because she could take me in a heartbeat. She has learned to control her use of magic though and she rarely uses that much of her power unless she absolutely has to in order to save a life.
I glance over to look at her and she has a small smile on her face. I glance over to my right and see that Xander's eye is dark and ready for a fight. We haven't gotten to do this in a while, fight… just the three of us. I slide the stake out of my jacket sleeve and I see that Xander has his in his hand as well, his patrol snack resting at his feet.
"Slayer…" what seems to be the lead vampire hisses out at us.
"Where?" I ask trying to sound like I am looking around for a movie star. Xander and Willow chuckle with my joke. The vampires just snarl at us and within seconds we are all fighting. Willow is having fun tossing a vampire around with just a wave of her hand and Xander manages to knock his down with just two punches to the face and one solid kick taking his feet out from under him. The leader lunges for me first and I throw him over my shoulder, immediately staking the un-expecting vampire behind him. Just as I make my way to the leader, I see a cloud of dust as Xander stakes his vamp and tosses Willow his stake with just a flick of his wrist. She plunges it into the chest of the vamp she is torturing and tosses it nonchalantly back his way. I throw one solid right hook and a roundhouse kick to the leader before easily shoving my stake through his chest. What is left of him blows away into the night wind. Once again, after a mere five minutes, it is just the three of us standing there.
"That was fun," Xander says, picking up his bag of chips from the ground where he set them so he could fight.
"Like I said, old times," Willow says as we start walking again toward the house.
"Let's call it a night… I'm freezing," I say shivering a little bit and linking arms with Will only to have Xander link his arm with her other one.
When we finally get home, Xander hugs us both at the door and heads off to his little house in the back of the property, surely wanting to check on his very pregnant wife. As soon as he is out of sight, Will's arms are wrapped around me in a tight hug.
"I'm sorry I brought her up tonight Buffy, you've been doing so well," Will says. I sigh slightly and she releases me from the hug.
"I have been keeping a lot of it in Will. I miss her… I really do," I say quietly.
"I know you do… we all miss her."
"I don't know why I can't snap out of this Will, it's been three years!"
"You love her Buffy, you can't just snap out of love with her."
"You think?" I ask seriously.
"I know," she says with a little chuckle. "But…"
"Oh here it comes… the but face…"
"Hey!"
"You know what I meant," I say with a big smile and a small laugh.
"Okay now, don't be mad at me for saying this but…"
"It's okay Will, just say it."
"It has been three years and maybe it is time to… I don't know… try dating again… I understand that you love her and that you don't want to be with anyone else, but you can't spend the rest of your life waiting for something that might or might not happen… maybe you weren't meant to be and you are meant to be with someone else but you will never find that someone else because you are too busy waiting for the one person who isn't the right person to come back to you and instead of realizing that you are going to waste even more time and years of your life just waiting around for her, you will miss out on the right person whoever that may be," she says in one long breath. If there was ever a class on babbling, she would be the teacher for sure.
"I'm not ready to let her go yet Will… not yet."
"I didn't think so but it doesn't hurt to try," she says putting her hand on my shoulder.
"And for the record… she is the only one for me," I say with a grin. She smiles back at me and we both take a moment and find ourselves sitting on the steps of the house staring into the dark night sky, silence filling the air. She is one of the only people that I can do this with… sit in complete silence and feel comfortable.
Xander, Kennedy and Giles are the others that make the silence bearable. That is how I know that our friendship and bond is unbreakable. My mind wanders back to Faith… the silence that was always there between us. That silence used to drive me insane as I would wonder just what was going on in her mind. I think about her and all those unspoken words between us. If only we would have said them… instead of sitting in silence… maybe things would have been different.
"Did you see that Buffy! Right there… a shooting star!" Willow says as she points it out to me. I look up just in time to see it falling and another one to fall just behind it.
"Wow! That was beautiful," I say a little in awe. Believe it or not I have never seen a shooting star before in my life.
"Make a wish Buffy," Willow says as she looks over at me and smiles. "That's what you are supposed to do when you see a shooting star… it's supposed to be good luck," she says nudging me with her shoulder.
"But you saw it first… so shouldn't you be the one making the wish?"
"I'm passing my wish on to you… you need it more than I do right now." I close my eyes and wish with all my heart for the one thing I want more than anything in this world. For the love of my life to come back to me... for Faith to come home.