A/N- This took far too long! I am so sorry! Gah! I suck. Go ahead and yell at me. I deserve it :/

Anyway, I am so happy that this idea has gotten so much positive feedback. Thank you all so much! I've been craving to do this prompt for a long time now. My goal with the premise of Emma being pregnant is to create crazy amounts of Charming family feels. But fear not; I'm going to be careful to keep our favorite fairytale family members in character.

As far as Emma/Neal pairing goes, I think they have the potential to fit well. First loves can last… sometimes. I chose Neal for this story because of what happened in S2 finale. Neal and Emma made their feelings clear for each other. They've both made their mistakes in the past. I like the idea of Swanfire very much, so I'm going to go with this pairing and see where the story takes these two. Join me for the ride?

Hope you enjoy! Sorry for the annoyingly long a/n. Don't forget to review before you go!

Down the Rabbit Hole

Chapter Two: Little Secrets

Emma couldn't help a flashback. She couldn't stop her mind from rewinding back eleven years ago, when she sat in a prison cell holding a white stick in her hand. She never thought she'd be going through it all again. It wasn't even supposed to happen the first time. But it did. Now history was repeating itself.

Emma pulled the zipper of her hoodie up to her chest as she walked from her apartment building and out onto the street. She needed some air, to be away from the house to try and get her mind thinking about something else.

"Coffee," Emma murmured to herself while walking along the sidewalk. "Irish coffee."

With the diner in sight, Emma picked up the pace. She sped the rest of the way, eager to get some alcohol into her system. Lots of alcohol… and maybe just a touch a coffee. But as Emma stepped up to the door and grabbed the handle, her face frowned in defeat. She couldn't have any alcohol. Not a drop.

"Day just keeps getting better," Emma grumbled while walking inside. She dragged her feet to the counter and plopped down on a stool.

"Emma!" Ruby cheered while hurrying around the counter. With arms open wide, she barreled into her friend, a big smile on her face.

Emma groaned in response at Ruby's fierce hug.

"I know; I've been hugging you guys for days, but I'm just so happy that you're back! I can't promise that my enthusiasm will die down anytime soon. Sorry."

Emma worked to curve her lips to a small smile. It was the best she could muster.

"So, what can I get you?" Ruby asked while pulling away.

"Jack and coke but apparently that's not an option," Emma grumbled.

Ruby's brows furrowed in confusion.

Quickly, Emma realized her mistake and covered the truth by saying, "stomach bug."

Ruby nodded in understanding. "Soup it is. What kind?"

"Whatever you have."

"Okay," Ruby agreed. Before turning to walk away, she couldn't help but linger for a moment. "Are you sure that's all that's wrong?"

Emma looked to her friend to find concern in her eyes. "I'm fine. I Just… you know, Neverland sucked."

"Well, don't worry. You're home now."

Emma did her best to match Ruby's smile. With Emma's order in mind, Ruby turned away towards the kitchen.

A handful of minutes went by when Emma found herself growing antsy. The bar stool was getting uncomfortable. The worries crowding her mind wouldn't allow her to sit still. So she stood on her feet and walked over to a booth, her eyes wandering around the room when she spotted Ashley and Sean, their baby daughter in her mother's lap. Their fussy baby daughter who looked like she was about to wail. Emma sighed.

Xoxo

It took every fiber of her being for Snow to keep quiet about her daughter's little secret. It also took all of her strength for her to stop herself from going after Emma when she fled from the apartment.

Having gone through a mental struggle for the last few minutes, Snow's thoughts were interrupted by Henry's voice. Snow looked to the doorway to find her grandson wearing a frown.

"Mom left."

"Did she?" Snow asked, feigning surprise. "She must have went out for a walk."

"Is something wrong?"

"No, of course not. Why would you think that?" Snow asked quickly, trying to hold a smile.

"Because mom looked upset and you seem nervous. What's going on?"

Snow sighed. "You're too perceptive for an eleven year old boy."

"So there is something wrong," Henry said without question.

For a second, Snow thought about telling her grandson the truth. Or at least a version of the truth. But then she realized that spilling the beans wouldn't do any good in her quest to build a mother-daughter relationship with Emma.

"Grams?"

Snow blinked her thoughts away and focused on Henry. "Sweetie, your mom is okay. She just… well, she-"

"Is she still having nightmares?"

Snow gave her grandson a look of curiosity. "She's having nightmares?"

Henry's brows wrinkled in confusion. "You didn't know?"

"No," Snow murmured, trying to hide the hurt from her voice. "She didn't tell me."

"Oh, well, she didn't tell me either. I heard her at night. That's why I've been sleeping down here on the couch. She kept waking me up. I tried to talk to her, but she never wanted to. She wouldn't even let me light a candle, like gramps did for me when I thought I was having bad dreams."

Snow put on a brave face while putting her hand to Henry's shoulder. "Don't worry about your mom, okay? Everything is going to be just fine. I promise."

"Okay, but please don't tell her I told you about the nightmares. She might get mad if she finds out I told you. I guess she doesn't want anyone to know."

"Well then it will be our little secret."

Henry nodded, a small smile on his face. With a look of encouragement from his grandmother, Henry turned to the door. But before leaving, he had a second thought and turned around.

"Do you think you can talk to mom? Without giving the secret away? I don't want her to have nightmares anymore."

A small smile appeared on Snow's face. "Of course, Henry. Already planning on it."

"Thank you," the boy said gratefully.

Xoxo

It was just ten minutes before the welcome home party was set to start when Snow was pacing through the living room, trying to hide her nervous demeanor from her husband, who was in the bedroom getting ready. Henry had gone back to Granny's with his father a few hours ago, leaving a lopsided cake on the counter for the party.

"When did Emma say she would be back?" David asked while coming from the bedroom.

"Any minute."

"She's been gone all day. I thought she wanted to help with the cake."

"I guess she changed her mind."

Before David could ask another question, the front door opened and Emma appeared.

"There she is," David said with a smile. "Just in time."

"Yup," Emma murmured, her sights set on the loft. "Give me a minute."

Snow frowned as her daughter hurried to the second floor. She looked to David but found he disappeared back down the hall. The guy didn't have a clue. Good, Snow thought.

After quickly taking the stairs to her daughter's bedroom, Snow stopped in the doorway and said, "knock, knock."

"I need to get ready. And I'm sorry, but I really don't want to talk."

Snow followed the voice to find Emma standing in front of her closet, lifting her sweater from over her head. Snow quickly turned around to give her daughter privacy.

"You were gone all day."

"Yeah," Emma agreed while putting on a blue dress that she had no desire to be wearing.

"I was worried."

"No reason to be."

"I think there is."

"I'm fine. I'll figure something out," Emma countered. "You can turn around."

Snow looked to her daughter and said, "I'd really like to talk."

"Why? What's the point? Talking won't undo… it."

"Yes, you're right. But, honey… you have to face the truth at some point."

"I am facing the truth!" Emma yelled angrily, her emotions having taken over. "And the truth is that I can't be a mother, not to a baby. I just… I can't have a baby!" Emma explained in frustration, tears welling in her eyes. "I'll screw it up. That's why I gave my kid away. That's why, even though it hurt like hell, I gave Henry away to someone else because he was better off without me. But now here I am, thrown into the same damn crappy situation all over again. And I can't deal with it!"

"Emma, sweetheart, no," Snow argued softly, having taken a few steps towards her daughter. "You have come such a long way. You're not the same person you were back then. You can-"

"How would you know?" Emma fired back. "You didn't know me then. You don't even know me now."

Snow fought as hard as she could to keep water from clouding her eyes. To keep the hurt from showing on her face. But at Emma's frown, she knew she failed.

"I'm sorry," Emma apologized. "I didn't mean-"

"Yes you did," Snow interrupted gently. "But it's okay. It's how you feel. You never have to apologize for that. You know that, Emma."

Emma closed her eyes, her mind going back to the conversation she had with her mother on Neverland. When she admitted to Snow that she felt like she'd always be an orphan.

"Emma," Snow said softly, pulling her daughter from her thoughts. "everything will be okay."

Shaking her head, Emma said, "you don't know that," before disappearing from the room.

TBC…

Thoughts before you go? Please and thank you!