Disclaimer: Twilight is NOT mine *sigh* by the way this takes place post breaking dawn and the first two chapters are in holly's pov.

Lost

As I drove along the freeway with my windows tinted and the music firing out of my sound system I wondered where I was going. I had decided to go exploring again much like I had done when I left the company of Casper and Theo in 1967, I grew bored of their games and left.

My ice hands on the steering wheel tightened slightly I winced at the thought they had no respect and were reckless that is most likely the reason they headed south. They had always had appetites for danger and blood Mexico seemed ideal lots of land up for grabs loads of people...

And blood.

I last heard from them a two decades back a plea for help as the volturi closed in, I was at this time in Canada so was unable to do anything anyway I wouldn't help them I was disgusted for years with myself after they changed me. My life gone never moving standing still forever I never quite forgave them for that so I was not sad to see them passing.

It was amazing after the change I didn't recognise myself before I must have been blind all the colours they mesmerised me for weeks and the beauty.

I have long bronze hair with subtle hints of my old chestnut, my face before still slightly round and childish now defined cheekbones took their place. My skin pale white; and hard as rock, glitters like diamonds in the sunlight.

For that reason I stole a tinted window car just in case I needed it you couldn't be too careful.

In my early years as a young vampire I too was reckless with Theo and Casper quenching my thirst whenever I needed playing and giggling as the life was sucked out of my victims. That was long ago before I saw the true cost of my thirst killing innocent people, I had been just like them I knew how they felt because I could see their memories all the happy times, all the tragic ones and now the last as I ended their life. I knew everything about them their name their lovers their enemies, first kiss, marriage and kids I saw their whole lives and I wanted it bad maybe that is why it was just bearable to get revenge on what had happened to me to blame them and to end their happy lives to quench my thirst to satisfy my need.

I have seen lots of happy families hundreds of Christmases, just like the ones I used to have with my family surrounding me laughing joking discussing new jobs, new homes, new arrivals that was gone now, lost in time I could never get that back. My mum my dad my auntie my cousin

Gone

Lost

Never coming back I was a stranger to the world which I now had an eternity to explore, it seemed pointless to me if you had no one to share it with.

Maybe that was what I was looking for a companion to share my existence with to make forever worth living not that I was living as such but to have some meaning some purpose.

Was this existence even worth living? If I fed off humans with lives, and futures! How did that balance out my worth against theirs how should I be the one to decide who was good and who got the death penalty?

It had been exactly 32 years since I had drunk the blood of an innocent human seeing their spotless lives doing nothing wrong. I could see the bad ones to that is why I only ate when I needed to desperately I put it off for as long as possible and only killing men who (if you can call them men) had committed the most vile crimes I only served out a kind of justice to end their time on this world to prevent others suffering because of them.

But still I could see their memories and they still haunt me every person I have killed my photographic memory stored every memory of theirs.

I shook my head I don't want to go down that path to let my mind wander on my bloody past.

I wasn't even watching where I was going very carefully as the speedometer hit 105 mph I glanced briefly at the sign post WASHINGTON STATE north would be best it rains more and a good place to hunt.

I shuddered at that last thought once when I had been so thirsty and I was in the woods hundreds of miles from civilisation a deer had run across my path instinctively I lashed out and killed it obviously it didn't taste anything as good as human blood but it almost satisfied my thirst after about 7 deer.

So when I struggled to find men who had committed really bad crimes I fed on animals occasionally, I continued on my path north through the night only needing to fill up on gas once as I arrived in a town called Port Angles.

It had a few shops, restaurants it seemed ideal lots of back alleys and dark corners I parked the Mercedes at of the back of the parking lot and made my escape into the woods.

The fresh damp air was fantastic to my senses after all for the past week all I had to look at was road and smell the air freshener which was disgusting humans didn't have a very good sense of smell. I ran for a few miles till I could sense a few elk a couple of hundred metres away, my muscles tensed as I prepared to pounce on them. I wasn't looking forward to the taste but I didn't fancy murdering somebody with a life time of memories either.

The trees swayed in the evening breeze, they were covered in green moss the scent was amazing it slightly distracted me but I went in for the kill landing on one of the elks back my teeth ripping it apart from the neck slashing its throat its pulsing heart only made it better as I took in the hot blood from the animals neck. After I was finished I wiped my mouth with the sleeve of my jacket funny I hadn't even noticed it was blue, I hadn't really been concentrating on what clothes I took from the store in Seattle; the last place I had been since making my way north. I would have to change it again as it had speckles of red blood on now maybe at that clothes shop I had seen just before I parked there had been a lovely blue dress..

Just as the image of the blue dress flashed across my mind something in my perceptual vision moved, my body in immediate response got ready to fight in case there was any danger, I could sense it already there was danger to the south west I turned as soon as it had registered my body flowing in one movement I immediately let out a warning hiss displaying my white teeth which glinted in the moonlight.

Movement was now coming from the south east of the trees definitely something there and it wasn't human about two seconds had passed since the first movement was registered.

Then the smell hit me urgh! I recoiled from it naturally.

That is when I could see IT

It came from the trees emerging slowly at first it looked like a bear but as it approached...

Was it a mutated dog? No way, no dog could get that BIG!

My eyes widened in shock it was a giant WOLF no, no, no it could not be a werewolf they were nearly extinct and were not in this part of the world so what was one doing here staring at me with dark eyes it looked deeply confused.

Run

That was my first thought, but I had heard the tales nothing could out run these, it had sandy fur and suddenly it sat back and let out a howl.

Why would he do that? Here I was a perfect target and all it did was howl??

What good would that do it why wouldn't rip me to shreds?

I could hear feet pounding against the earth correction not feet paws.

Another wolf

Great it was calling its mates to come and join the snack that is all I would need oh well I had had a good run 106 years of existence more than most if it had to end now at least I could end on a high I had tried to be a good person and a good vampire well I did try to be good to not kill innocents all I could hope for was it had to be quick and then maybe even though I had done bad things there might be something after I was gone at least I would hope to see my mother, father, auntie and cousin.

I closed my eyes picturing the happy last Christmas with my family, mother cooking the turkey, father reading the newspaper Auntie Lizzie singing as Edward played the piano to a jolly tune; at least they would see me very soon. I reopened them as the second wolf came closer

The second wolf now came into view; he had reddish brown fur and looked quite a bit bigger than the sandy wolf if that was possible. His dark eyes bore into me questionably. This was it my end I looked up at the moon once last time waiting for them to attack.

A few seconds passed.

Nothing.

No attack, my eyes re- focused on the wolves the stood side by side as if waiting for a command. Again I heard rushing footsteps but they were different not paws this time feet. Could there possibly be an escape a vampire to my rescue? Surely the wolves could also hear this approach but they stayed in their position a second passed and there stood another vampire but this vampire was not surprised by the wolves and stood in front as if it was guarding them.

It took me a millisecond to be sure it was a vampire.

What was a vampire doing here?

What was he doing here? He was medium build with blonde curly hair; he reminded me so much of Carlisle I figured he was not human when I met him but I never did understand why he was at the hospital that day... I winced again at the memory.

He was there standing in front of me, his eyes! That was the resemblance they were the same as Carlisle's had been 91 years earlier slightly darker I noted.

"Hello" I spoke half dazed still trying to understand the situation.

"Hi ... er? What is your business here?" He spoke as dazed as I was to find me here he must not be used to visitors authority rang in his voice, so confident as he stepped closer I saw the horror of his face covered with scars

Dangerous that was my first thought how many had tried to kill him?

"Yes, I was just leaving, I was just passing through, I don't mean any harm" I tried to explain still struggling for words.

"Hunting?' he seemed confused. That's when I saw his eyes honey, not blood red as I had suspected after all most vampires are.

"Yes" I nodded sheepishly what else should I say just popped by for some fast food? Well deer wasn't actually that fast but still.

"That is very surprising' he must have been looking at my eyes they were brown a mixture of human blood an animal. I looked through his recent memories, his last feelings shock, surprise, relief? Was there something or someone he was protecting?

"Yes well I will just be going now"

My words came out in a singing voice I was very anxious to be away from this vampire he made me feel...

That is odd I felt calm yet still wanting to leave.

"Yes, well these are our hunting lands we would appreciate If you hunted further away we hold a permanent residence nearby and we want to remain so..." He trailed off in concentration.

"Jacob, Seth escort ..." he seemed to be searching for a name took me an extra 1/8 of a second to reply he was dazzling.

"Holly..." I paused what else was there to say?

"It was nice to meet you Holly, but I must get back it is not a very convenient time for us I hope we met again Seth and Jacob will escort you back to Port Angles." There was conflict to his voice but I did not understand it, it was harsher he must be protecting something...

Oh well best move on anyway I could always come back if I felt the need to.

After all I did have eternity.

"It was nice to see you I haven't seen another vampire for five years goodnight" My voice was smooth I hope he couldn't hear my pain I did so much want to talk to him the only contact I had had in so long was so very short.

"Goodnight" He turned and ran away off. Our encounter had lasted just over a minute, how odd normally vampires are very talkative perhaps he was just busy, and I didn't even get his name... I sighed.

The Big wolves stood up and started walking in the direction of Port Angeles reluctantly I followed skipping silently behind them till we reached the edge of the parking lot, they turned and nodded I nodded back that was the polite thing to do and headed off to that clothes store and the pretty blue dress.

Here I was back in my car, with designer sunglasses perched carefully on my nose, the sun was just rising the view; breathtaking if I actually bothered breath. Just as I had suspected that blue dress fitted perfectly now my beautiful wavy hair rested lightly on my pale shoulders contrasting fantastically with the colour of the dress. I think getting out of the area back to Seattle? Was that my next move?

I didn't like the sound of that.

Seattle seemed so... what's the word

Predictable.

No I had just come from there and after all these Vampires (assuming there is more than one other than that blond haired beauty) intrigued me I hadn't past any in so long, I felt the need to talk to my own kind. It would have to wait a few months a year maybe then come back when they were not busy whatever that implied.

It wasn't a very sunny day least I could walk around act human, and see what I could find explore a bit before I go.

My eyes flicked through all the colours going past, the signs the buildings one stood out.

NEWTONS OUTDOORS.

Interesting maybe they have a map. I parked up in the lot, what day was it? Monday; yes it should be open it was 10:30 am so there most likely will be someone there humans so predictable they tell you where to find them and when they are available such an easy prey so vulnerable.

That is why I tried to protect them I suppose in the way I can leaving only the good and innocent, I stepped through the doors and was confronted with lines of outdoor goods ranging from cutlery to tents, shoes and outdoor wear as humans are not protected well against all weather they get cold so easily.

Well I am cold to them so I should not complain.

A boy stood behind the counter, maybe 19-20 with light blond hair and blue eyes that were now wide in shock, this was usually the response I got from most mortals who were somehow mesmerized by a vampire's very presence and extraordinarily good looks. I flicked through his memories to see his reaction he had now recovered himself and was beaming wildly he was confident and from previous experiences, cocky but he had not always got what he wanted, a memory of a girl in high school so typical he had a major crush on her since the day she arrived but she had met someone else and surprisingly married him at 18 that was unusual.

Anyway now he had his thoughts in order and was going to ask me if I needed help in .1.

"Can I help you?" his voice surprisingly smooth voice for a mortal.

"Yes, I was looking for a map of this area do you have any?" My voice now that would get him hyperventilating and before I could finish his pulse was quickening pleasing humans came naturally.

"Yes we do, we have several" He bent down under the table shuffling through some papers hurriedly he obviously was trying to impress me with his efficiency he was trying to find the map quickly he forgot when he stood up there was a self in the cupboard his head hit it with a thud, I suppressed a chuckle at the clumsiness he re-emerged looking slightly redder the blood flooding his cheeks, he look soo...

No, he was innocent he was human.

"Here you go I would recommend this one it covers a larger area scale" He said this pointing to a purple map, I took it in my hands balancing it before carefully opening it full length across the counter studying it carefully trying to pin point where I had seen that other vampire and how far I should stay clear for a while before I could introduce myself properly.

"Thank you, Yeah I will have this one please" I was now absorbed with the map scanning for the location I didn't look up, I reckoned he would be a bit bewildered by my less friendly tone.

"That is $6.99 please" He replied still in the same friendly voice with a touch of embarrassment, it was polite to buy the map even if I didn't need it after all photographic memories are quite handy. Still I handed over a $10 note,

"You can keep the change" I said in my sweet voice and turned around his face now dazed I had to let a laugh escape my lips but it was too low for him to hear.

I re emerged from the store and walked across the lot more people were there in hiking gear, mmm... was it really safe for them to hike with vampires close? It was not my problem and anyway that vamp I had seen yesterday did not have red eyes.... now what did that mean?

If you liked that or hated it please PLEASE REVIEW i am new to this an i only write for fun so if anyone has any ideas on how she could meet the Cullens let me know thank you x