"I'm freaking BORED!!!" A voice yelled. That voice actually belonged to the Descendent of Hikaru Suzumiya, Haruhi.

"So what else is new?" Her friend, Kyon, responded.

"You're being sarcastic! PENALTY!!" Haruhi yelled.

"I am in shock and awe." Kyon responded. Kyon knew Haruhi since the first week of high school, when he ACCIDENTALLY gave her the idea to create a club named the SOS Brigade. It's been around ever since.

"HEY! YOU SAY ANOTHER WORD IN THAT TONE, IT'LL BE A DOUBLE PENALTY!"

"Uh... S-Suzumiya-san," Mikuru, another member of the SOS Brigade, said, "Maybe Kyon-kun's stressed."

"Mikuru-Chan, stay out of it, please," Haruhi asked Mikuru, then turned to Kyon, "Kyon, if you don't find anything entertaining, you're out of the SOS Brigade."

Kyon immediately widened his eyes, then smiled. He then got up and ran out the door of the North Gate College SOS Brigade HQ, whooping as if it was the happiest day of his life.

Everyone blinked at this, wondering, "WTF?"

Kyon ran out the door, thinking like crazy. 'Oh, God! I FINALLY got out of Suzumiya's grasp! I'm free! I think I'll buy a car to proclaim my newfound independence!'

Running into the Business section of the city at 30 MPH (Dang...) He ran into a used car dealer, and looked over the selection.

"Whadaya doing here?!"

Kyon turned and said, "I'm getting my first car, sir."

The man, who seemed to be both African-American and a red head, said, "Ah, the passage to manhood. Lemme tell you something, son. The driver don't pick the cars," The man said, putting his arm around Kyon and walking with him, "The cars pick their drivers. It's a mystical bond between man and machine."

"Cliche." Kyon said, rolling his eyes. "… can I have a look around?"

"Sure thing, kiddo, but don't even think about touching the black Mitsubishi Lancer; that's mine!"

Kyon walked around the numerous displays of cars. He wasn't very impressed; most of them were rusty beyond repair, with doors and wheels that looked like they could fall off at any moment. There was even an old Mercedes Benz that looked like it could collapse at a single touch. He turned around, about to walk back to his father and Setsuna when he suddenly froze, backtracking a few steps before turning right. Between a red Porsche 935 Turbo and a white Lamborghini Countach was a yellow-and-black Volkswagen Beetle.

The car looked as though it'd seen better days: its bonnets and sides were covered with dents and rust. The windshield was covered in a thick coat of dust from neglect, and its wheels looked close to flat. On a sudden impulse, Kyon opened the car door, seating himself at the driver's seat.

"Feels good," he muttered; the seats, although torn, were comfortable, and there was a strange symbol in the center of the steering wheel that resembled a face of some sort. Kyon supposed that it was the logo of the company that made the car. He didn't know why, but for some reason he had taken a liking to the Volkswagen.

"I'll take it," Kyo replied, his tone stating that he'd made his decision, and it was final. "How much?" he asked.

"That's odd… I don't remember having this car here," the man murmured to himself, scratching his head. "Eh, whatever. ¥60,000," he announced.

"Sixty thousand?" Kyon raised an eyebrow. "Why so much?"

"The price was decided based on the classic nature of the vehicle, and the black racing stripes on the front, back, hood, and side doors."

"Well... I like it, but I only got 450."

The man frowned. "Get out of the car," he spoke.

"Didn't you just say something about cars picking drivers!" protested Kyon.

"Well, sometimes the car picks a cheap driver. Now out!" Grumbling Kyon reluctantly exited the Bug. "Now this one here –" (he moved towards the Lamborghini) "– now this has a classic engine –"

BANG!!

There was a sudden explosion as every car window in the lot shattered, spraying glass everywhere and causing Kyon and the guy to quickly duck down, covering their heads. The air was suddenly filled with the noise of multiple car alarms going off. Oddly, though, the Bug was the only one unharmed. When it was finally safe, the man looked up, only to gape in horror at the mess that had befallen his car displays.

Whimpering, he turned around to face the ex-Brigader, holding up four fingers. "400 grand."

Ministry of Defense Building, Shinjuku, Tokyo

After two hours the chopper containing 24-year-old Konata Izumi and her escorts landed on a field outside the Ministry of Defense. As she clambered out from the chopper she was quickly led into the building by her escorts. Her head was buzzing with excitement and questions; she was inside the Ministry of Defense, the place holding the country's military secrets and forbidden to most civilians. But why had she been brought here?

She was about to find out a few minutes later: as she was walking down a corridor, another agent appeared holding a clipboard, which he handed to Konata. "Welcome to the Ministry of Defense, please sign this," he spoke.

"What's this?" Konata asked quizzically, taking the clipboard.

"Oath of Secrecy," replied the agent. "A necessary procedure here; even the Prime Minister has to follow it."

"The Prime Minister? He's here?" Konata spoke, surprised, as she signed the paper and handed the clipboard back.

"Well… no," the third agent replied.

"The Minister of Defense is, though," the second agent added. "That's why you're here."

"Izumi-san, this way," the third agent said, beckoning her towards the Briefing Room.

Many other analysts like herself were present, filling the room fit to bursting. Konata recognized several people in the room, including a couple of members from the Imperial Household. Just then she spotted – to her surprise and delight – Miyuki Takara, Kagami and Tsukasa Hiiragi waving to her. She made her way towards them.

"Hey Kona-chan," her old friends greeted her.

"Hey yourself," Konata replied, "So, they brought you guys here too?" she asked, taking a seat.

Tsukasa nodded as she sat down beside her. "Yeah; dunno why though. Must be the same reason for each of us here," he replied.

At that moment the door opened, causing the room to quiet down. Three men entered the room: Konata recognized the first two as the agents who escorted her here. The third gentleman, however, came as another surprise to her. It was a short bespectacled man with a mustache and a stern expression on his face. It was the Minister of Defense himself, Utamaro Kubo. He had his job for a good seven years now, due to his tactful negotiation with terrorists and saving the lives, as well as jobs, of countless people.

"Konnichi-wa, ladies and gentlemen," Utamaro began. "I apologize for summoning you here on such short notice, but we have an international crisis on our hands." There was a buzz of puzzled murmurings at that statement. Tsukasa and Kagami exchanged a look; a strange feeling of dread was welling up inside them. "Now, I'm sure all of you analysts are wondering why you are here.

"At 2133 hours, the joint US-Japanese SOCCENT Operations Base in Qatar was attacked!" Utamaro spoke loudly. A sudden hush descended upon the room as the news sank in. "According to reports, a Pave Low IV helicopter arrived at the base shortly before the attack, and we lost contact with. Until now we do not know if there are any survivors. However, just before we lost contact, one of our files was being downloaded by the attacker. Fortunately they managed to cut the hardline before any important information was stolen."

Utamaro paused to take a deep breath, as though steeling himself. One of the agents beside him switched on the computer at the desk, and inserted a disk inside.

"The only lead we have… is this sound," said Utamaro, reaching forward and pressing a button. At once a horrifying noise blared from the speakers and reverberated around the room; an unearthly noise that sounded like a mechanized bat's scream.

The room was now dead silent, its occupants chilled to the bone by the sound. Konata wasn't in one of her brave moments, her face had gone white as a sheet.

Utamaro, his face grave, turned to face the audience. "That was the last thing we heard from the base before its power was sucked out," he continued. "Until now, no one has claimed responsibility for the attack. Whatever it is, we now have the Secret Service, the United States' FBI and our Agency of National Security analyzing it. Hopefully we will be able to track the attackers down and stop them. We brought you here as you are the best the country has to offer, and we need all the help we can get in figuring out and diffusing this crisis. Thank you."

With that, everyone rose and began to depart. The four friends made to follow them, but just as they approached the door, they were stopped by two agents. "You four, please remain for a moment. Utamaro-san would like to speak with you," one of them spoke.

The four exchanged a puzzled look, but complied nonetheless. With growing trepidation they followed the agents down the steps towards the Minister. One of the agents whispered a few words to Utamaro, who turned and smiled a fatherly smile at the four analysts.

"A pleasure to meet the both of you," he greeted, shaking their hands.

"It's an honor to meet you in person, Minister-sama," returned Miyuki. "What did you wish to talk to us about?"

"Well, I was told that you four were quite the prodigies when you worked for the Agency. At least, until the little fiasco with the sprinkler system…," he added with a sly smile. Tsukasa blushed at this. "Anyway, I have decided to give you a second chance. When I said that everyone was the best, I actually meant that the four of you were the best."

"Really?" Kagami asked, pleasantly surprised.

"Hai," replied the Minister. "Do you accept?"

"We will do our best, Utamaro-sama," Konata replied, bowing, "But there are certain conditions."

"Conditions?"

"Should we need to look REAL close at the signal, I know a hacker that could help. However, he refuses to work with any government, so I'll need special permissions for him to look at it should the need arise. That work for you?"

"Hai. Some of my advisors think all of you are security hazards, but I sincerely hope that you prove them wrong," at that statement the Minister strode off, the two agents guiding The four along with them.

Konata sighed. "That went better then the anime CyberForce." she asked.

"Welcome to reality, Miss," one of the agents spoke.

Soon, the battle for Earth begins. Now Review! Your ribbon-wearing Goddess DEMANDS it!