This piano has like a magic spell on me. It makes me remember very happy things. One of them, my granny.
She used to play the piano for me, when I was sad. Now that she is no longer alive, I play everyday a tune for her. Her favorite melody was Claire de Lune, I still can't understand why she did like it, but that doesn't matter to me. I play it everyday for her. I sometimes don't play it for my granny. Sometimes I play it for myself; it makes me feel in peace.
Alex, are you listening to my song?
Isn't it beautiful? Today I'm playing it because it something good happened. Is hard to believe, but indeed this situation is real.
There is this guy named Anthony, he is new at school. For the first time someone treated me like a normal person. I am so, so…
I can't even describe the joy I feel because of this. It's so wonderful.
Playing the piano helps me chill.
Today im playing Love Story from Beethoven. This exquisite melody is nice and calm, but at some parts it transforms from a sweet melody into an intense one. Right now this melody im playing is my warm up. Im getting ready for the Christmas concert. So I got to have my fingers well prepared because im playing one of the hardest melodies in the whole program, the 8th Symphony of Chopin. Thanks to Mrs. Mendez im halfway of getting the melody dominated. Im still having a lot of work left, but I know I will rock at it!
This feeling is completely different of what I always feel. This piano makes me feel in a way I have never experienced before. This always happens when I play the piano. This feeling makes me think of everything more clearly. Makes me think that there is always a solution or a reason for the things that revolve around me. It makes me think that my life is not as horrible as I use to say, but it is.
The main problem starts on my family. I live with my mother and my little sister. My father left us when my mother was pregnant of Sophia, my little sister. To help my mother economically, I have a part-time job. I always wonder how my life will be if my dad didn't leave us. Will we be happy? Will I be happy? Will Sophia be ok? Until now I don't have any answers, but I know one thing for sure.
I don't want my father to appear. I want him to be lost as he always is because we don't need him. We are happy just the way we are.
"WOW! Good job Hannah im really feeling your piece. Is beautiful, keep working! Mrs. Mendez said as always. She is my piano teacher since I was 5. At first she thought I wouldn't be able to play even a simple piece, but with the years she admits I am one of her best students.
"Thanks! I appreciate your opinion, but I still need to practice a lot. Im not quite sure if I am ready to the concert. So that's why im going to practice harder to be sure." I said really enthusiastic.
"Oh Hannah you never change. Still your piece is very beautiful. Did something good happen today?" Mr. Mendez said very curious.
"Ha ha. Why do you ask Mrs. Mendez?" I said getting nervous and curious at the same time. How weird to feel like this.
"No, for no special reason is just that you seem… happy" sha said in her proud-mother tone.
"Oh, you think?" was all I could manage to say. This was making me feel a bit uncomfortable. Why?
"Well, yes I do. Ha ha" she said. "I better leave you. Keep going you are doing just fine, but pay attention to the tempo here is allegro and here in this sad tune you have to play it arpeggio. Ok? She said. She is one of the best piano teachers. She is really good.
"Ok and thanks" I said happy because my melody was taking form.
The two things that ended my happy hour are that: one, the piano lessons are over; Two, I have to go to work.
As I walked towards my job, I noticed that the place was really calm. Its not usual quiet. I wonder why, maybe because is early or not.
I can't believe it! Why is this sign here?!
As I try o enter to the café, I notice a sign that says that the café is closed. What the Heck? Why did nobody told me anything? Can't this day go normally? A while I ago I was just so damn happy and now this happens. What am I going to do now? I work part-time on a café. My boss is called Jane she was the one who told me that I can come to work half shift. She is a good person, but that doesn't means she can just ignore me!
"Oh! Hey Han!" Jane said as i tried to open the door by force.
"Hi Jane. Can you explain me what the heck is going on?" I said sourly as I stopped fighting with the door. "Why didn't you at least call me?"
"I called to your house twice, but no one picked up" she said a bit sad.
"Sorry, my bad, but can you explain me what's going on? I said a bit scared that I had made Jane sad. I can't afford making her sad when she has been really kind to me. I am really thanked to her.
"Well, someone bought the café and yesterday they kicked us out. I'm so sorry Han I know how much you need this job, but I can't do anything. They just won't agree. I tried to talk to them, to at least let us be here and offered them to pay something, but they didn't agree. They just told me to remove my stuff from this place." She said between sobs. I can't understand. Damn bastards!
"No, is fine Jane. Ill find another job, I mean I just have to look in the right place on the newspaper. So please don't worry im going to be just fine" I said trying to make her feel better. Yes sure I can't even convince myself "But what about you? What are you going to do" I asked her worried because I know she has a little girl and she has to maintain her.
"Me? Oh don't worry for me I am also going to be fine. Haven't I told you? Im getting married! So my fiancée and I are going to move. So don't worry about me, but I know you will so please Han if you have any problems just call me" she said really worried.
I don't know how this will go, but I have to try if not Sophia… No I have to do it no matter what! "Sure, but don't worry. Everything is going to be fine. Don't make that poop face ok?" I said to stop making her worry.
"OK. Take care I have to go, but let's stay in touch ok?" she said thoughtfully
"Sure!" was I could say without making me look suspicious.
"I have to go now, im sorry…." She said trying hard not to cry. Not in front of me. I guess.
"Is fine, go! I'll go home too. Im in a new mission right now, I'm going to search for new jobs so don't worry. We'll see ya later then!" I said trying to make her happy.
"Ok and oh Hannah ……" she said a bit nervous.
"Yes?" I said trying to read her face so I could decipher what was she going to say.
"Please take care" she said. She sounded a bit disappointed and sad, but there was some hope in the bottom of what she meant. It made me happy.
"Ok! Bye!" I said trying hard not to cry. Of course my voice broke, but she didn't realize that. Thank God she didn't payed attention.
"Bye!" I said as I runned to escape that place full of sadness.
SHOOT! NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO? I thought this as I runned back home. First I have to go and find another job, which is going to be really hard.
Oh Alex if you where her what would you do?
I can search in the newspaper and look for jobs. That's the easy part. The hard one is that how am I going to convince this new boss to let me work part-time. That's the thing that's going to be the challenge for me.
What can I do? Well if it's impossible, I'll have to work the whole time. I know is going to be hard, but if it's necessary I'll have to leave the piano lesson and maybe miss some days of school. I don't care what I have to do, but I have to get another job now!
Oh well, I have to go home and tell mom. I can't tell her. It will make her worry even more. Probably this is the best idea, but I still feel a little uncomfortable not telling her this. It's going to be hard, but I have to keep it a secret. As I made this last thought a promise, I entered to my house.
Ah sweet home….
As I arrive home I thought of a fake façade for my face. Here we go. Oh god how will this end?
Better this work "HI I'm home!" I said trying to sound as convincible as I can.
"OH, hi honey!" my mom said as she got ready to go to work. My mom took several jobs. She is a super woman I can't believe she is my mother. Im so glad I have her.
"HI Han!" Sophia said. She is my little sister.
"Hi how are you all?" I said. Emphasizing this question especially on Sophia.
"Good" mom and Sophia said at unison. This make me laugh really hard.
"Today I had no pain, that's so good!" she said smiling at me.
"Indeed!" I said relieved and actually happy.
"Yeah! Honey, I have to go to my job. Can you take care of her?" she asked distracted and hurried.
"Sure mom! Don't worry; go, I'll take care of her!" I said happy about the fact that Sophia was ok.
"YAY! Can I have spaghetti for dinner Han?" she said pleading.
"Yeah! Ill make it right away!" I said relieved that I found some dorky excuse to be able to think in something else.
"OK girls take care, bye!" Mom said as she walked outside into a sea of worries and stress.
"BYE MOM!" we said at unison. This make us laugh even harder.
"OK let's make the spaghetti" I said happy as I putted the apron on me. I know is hard to imagine, but the only two things I'm good at are: cooking and playing the piano.
"Yay! Han why are you sad?" she said. The only thing that kinda bothered me from Sophia is that she was really intuitive so she realized that I was worried for something.
Dammit she got it…"Me? Why do you say that?" I said trying to act natural, but of course I wasn't a good actress. This time I just prayed that she wouldn't notice.
"Is because you are have a face that shouts, IM SO FREAKING WORRIED!" she said looking me in the eyes
"OH...Well is not that im worried, is just that…."Invent something Hannah invent something… "Is just that today at the piano classes I remembered Granny, but that's it! But im fine ok? Please don't tell mom" I pleaded.
"OK still you know you can tell me anything ok?" she said moving her watchful eyes back into the TV. Thank god she buy that. Oh god I don't know how much I will stand this….
I can't tell you this even if I wanted "OK!" was all I could say in a I'm-happy-everything-is-perfect tone.
Oh my! I forgot to explain you the I'm-worried-about-Sophia part. You will be wondering what's wrong with Sophia. Well she has leukemia, which is cancer on the blood .When she was born, the doctor diagnosed her with that, so she has been sick all her life. Because of that, my mom and I took as many jobs as we could to get enough money to buy all her medicines and take her to chemo and that stuff. Every day I just wake up and I pray that she is still with us.
I always wonder why does she has to suffer, she is such a good girl. I know everybody has their bad times and gets mad, but still she is just a very kind and adorable girl.
Still she has to suffer. Why? Why her?
It doesn't matter if I cry, it's worthless, she will die not matter what we do. That's the reality, but I know that with the medicines she maybe just maybe last a little longer with us. I don't care the amount of time she will have left, I just want to say good-bye.
That's what I want to do is she dies. I know she will die. I'm not stupid, but I just want to say goodbye to her. That's my wish. I don't know why I have to do this, but I just want her to remember me.
As I rethink of what am I going to do when she...goes…? I clean the kitchen and do my homework (not that I really care about school and that stuff, but I don't want my mom to have a heart attack because of my lack of responsibility). As I go upstairs to sleep I think of my day, which was awful if I may say, and start to prepare myself fro another good night dosis of Alex. Every night I dream of him he is like my guardian angel. OMG I love him so much. It's sort of ridiculous because he actually doesn't exist, but hey some magic won't hurt anyone?
As I crawl in to my bed, I start to pray for Sophie. I want her to be another day with us. She will, I am sure of it because she is strong, but just in case. As I deepen into my world, I feel that Alex is waiting for me. He is willing to give me strength for my next day…
Aghh! This morning really sucks! Is not only because as usually I woke up late and I arrived late at school, but THIS?! What the heck is wrong with the people? I can't believe this! Yesterday Rina and I were like best buds and that stuff and now she doesn't even look at me. What is wrong with her?
This morning she was supposed to pick me up from the hospital, but she didn't appear nor called. I got worried so I decided I will go on bus to school. As I arrive to school I saw her talking with Samantha and Miranda! I got freaked out I have to admit it. I knew she talked to them so I thought she runned late or some lame excuse. When I tried to approach to her she gave me "the look" and told me to get lost because I'm no more her friend. I was shocked, well I am still shocked I just can't believe SHE did this to me...
In chemistry class I just cant hold it anymore I just couldn't talk I looked normal, but inside I was destroyed like if someone had pierced my heart from me .I think im not good enough for her, is it because I am ugly or that I wear black all the time? Is it because I don't have a father or that I don't have money to go shopping and stuff?
Im so lost. I can't think I'm just going to the same stuff trying to find what my mistake was.
Why is this happening to me? Why? Since this morning's event everything went down.
First I woke up in the middle of the night because Sophie was feeling bad, so we took her to the hospital. Then when I waited for her outside the hospital, she didn't come to pick me up. When I finally arrive at the school she was like don't even look at me. What is it with her and with this people?
I can't understand it…. Is the only thing I can think at this point. As I arrived to my next class, Literature with Mr. Ferguson, I sit in my place not caring of what other people may say or think. I don't care anymore of anything I just want to go home. This feeling is weird and it makes me want to cry. Indeed im crying.
I can't hold it anymore I need to leave. So I ask Mr. Ferguson if I can go to the restroom that is a safe place where I can cry without being bothered. I need to get out of here now, or im going to break in sobs, I have to get out of here!
"Mr. Ferguson, Can I go to the restroom?" I said restraining myself from crying.
"Yes you can, just take the pass" he said looking weirdly at my face. I guess I couldn't stop my tears from falling. That's why he looked at me like that. I can't stand another minute there, as soon as I got the pass I just ran off the classroom. I can't be here anymore!
I didn't care. I stayed in the bathroom the rest of that day. I couldn't face the reality; it was just too unreal for me, more than the usual. I cried there all the time. I never stopped; when I tried to I remembered her face and what she said to me "you are not my friend anymore. So get lost" I repeated, but my voice wasn't as acid as hers. Mine was cracked and pained. I heard the girls' conversations, the giggles, the laughs, and the happiness in the bathroom. Everything seemed so bizarre, like I was an outsider. It was horrible.
As the last bell rang, I decided that it was enough crying for the day, so I left the bathroom and went to try to find my stuff. To my surprise Anthony was waiting for me outside of the bathroom. He was listening to his ipod. When he saw me he automatically standed up and approached to me.
"HI Hannah, here are your stuff" ha said as he handed me my back pack. He putted all my books and he also packed my homework. What?
"Thanks" I said shocked because there was one human person after all.
"Are you ok, because you don't seem like" he said concerned. "HE" was concerned for me? O god this can't be real.
"I'm…I'm…I'm not in the mood of talking Anthony" I said. It wasn't totally the truth; I wished I had someone to cry. I wanted so desperately to find that someone who will consolate me, who will hug me and tell me everything was going to be ok. I wanted that so badly.
"It's ok Hannah I'm right here you can cry now" he said hugging me strongly. I just can't believe this is happening. Anthony hugged me suddenly. I just couldn't restrain myself anymore. I cried like I never did. I cried even more than I did in the bathroom. It was uncomfortable, but for a weird reason I couldn't stop feeling a little happy because Anthony was there with me. He was there getting his shirt wet, but he never moved or complained about it.
"Is just that…she can't…..why…..Rina is…." I managed to say between sobs I mean why can't I say a complete sentence? Anyways at that point the only thing that I capable of doing without needing to think was to nod.
"Everything is going to be ok" he said. OMG! He was sooo sweet! I would have been very happy if I wasn't this damn sadness that invaded me.
"Is just that I thought she was my friend, no, she was my best friend, but now I am not sure of what she is to me" I said in a clear but husky voice still hugged by Anthony. Okay he is not a bad guy.
"I know how you feel. I had the same situation, but don't worry now you have someone who you can cry with" he said in a very weird tone I didn't recognized.
"And who is that person if I may ask" I said not caring what the answer was I was so damn sad I didn't cared for anything else.
"Well that person is me of course" he said smiling at me widely. This was it. As soon as I really reason what he just said I saw that he was no ordinary boy. He was a normal and kind person.
Alex have you seen this? This is so wonderful! For the first time I am no longer a weird creature. I'm a normal person that has feelings. He makes me see this now. He is the main reason for my happiness right now.
He is just a friend to me now.
"Are you ok" he said kinda freaked out. O god this new discovery was the reason of my shock. I didn't care anymore of that damn Rina. This is way better!
"Yes I am" I said as I got as far of him as I could. I have to hide this happiness I felt. Because maybe he is just being nice with me so I don't want to make him uncomfortable.
"Good" he said smiling again. God this is so embarrassing. Alex I wish you were real sometimes. You'll be a good friend and boyfriend… Oh no I'm blushing…
"Are you ok? Your face is really red. Do you have fever?" he said worried, again.
"NO NO!" I almost shouted because of the embarrassment. O god am I getting crazy?
"Okay let's get up" he said helping me get up. He is such a gentleman.
"Thanks" I said as I picked my stuff. I went straight to the street and started to walk to the bus stop when someone reached me.
"What are you doing?" Anthony said to me. Isn't it obvious? I know he is a good person and that he doesn't mind in others peoples business, but I think he has a good vision and by looking at me he can tell where I am going.
"Well if you haven't noticed I am going to get the bus" I said half pissed half curious. This guy was full of surprises.
"Oh no, a real gentleman don't let ladies alone and less at this hour" he said serious, but with a hint of humor.
I haven't realize that, but as soon as I took a look at the sky I saw that it was already sunset. OMG! How long have I been here? OH NO! MY PIANO CLASSES, MY MOTHER! SOPHIA! Can't this day go any worst?
"Hannah?" he said making me lose my focus.
"Yes? Oh sorry, it's nothing and don't worry about me I going to be ok" I reassured him, and it was the truth after all he made, I feel like nothing happened to me so I was okay after all.
"No way I am letting you go. I'm taking you to your house, besides its getting late and I won't let you be around at this hour and even worst, alone." he said in a tone that make me giggle. "I don't care if you laugh, I'm taking you home" he said also laughing. "I am happy you feel better you looked really bad when you got out of the bathroom. I got really scared. But now you are better and that makes me happy" he finished as he pulled me to a car.
"Wait didn't you go home by bus?" I said remembering the first day I met him. Which was a good day? The end of my happiness to be precise.
"No. I got a car now so, Will you please follow me?" he said. I have to say even if he is nice and that stuff, he is so annoying.
"Okay sir." Is said a bit pissed. Can he just feel the mood? He is such a mood-ruiner.
As we got into his car I notice it wasn't just a car. It was a really modern car. Okay is he trying to say I am better than you? Because if he is trying to, I'm going to kick his ass really hard!
What do you think?
Remember that this is my firts story so dont look at it with cery crititcal eyes.
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Rani-chan