Chapter 2. In which Andy has no choice (once again)
"Good afternoon, Miranda Priestly's office."
"Hi Emily, it's me, Andy, I…"
"Oh my god. Get in here! Now!" Emily shrieked so loudly, that Andy had to move the phone away from her ear.
"Emily, I don't know if…"
"Didn't you hear me?! I said get in here right now! I've been trying to call you all day and I will be fired if you don't show up here like right now! Do you have any idea…"
Andy sighed. Some things never changed: even though it was her face all over page 6 it was still all about Emily somehow.
"Ok, Em, I'll come over. This is so crazy."
"You are crazy. Period. And wear a hat or a scarf or something! You know, be discreet? I mean seriously please just try not to make a show out of it, would you?"
Andrea smiled to herself sarcastically: "Got it. Bye now."
Half an hour later she got out of a cab and entered Elias Clark. As soon as she stepped through the large glass doors the craziness began. A young very attractive brunette all but grabbed her:
"Hello, Andrea, my name is Katrina, please follow me."
"I know where the elevator is" Andy mumbled under her breath, but the brunette paid no attention. She walked her to the elevator, calling someone with a short "She's here." Andy caught herself admiring Katrina's haircut which was a short pixie with a long bangs to the side. She looked incredibly stylish and had a french air about her.
Soon enough Andy released they were not going to the main offices - they exited at the third floor and soon Andy found herself in a large conference room. Katrina sat down and blatantly ignored her: Andy chose to do the same. In about two minutes a hurricane of a woman whirled into the room.
"Hello, I'm Leslie, nice to meet you, Andrea."
Andy shook the extended hand and answered out of habit: "You can call me Andy."
"All right, Andy." The woman sat down on the head chair and leaned back, studying her. "I have to tell you this is quite a mess we're in now."
In spite of her words Leslie was smiling as if she was somehow enjoying the situation. Two guys entered the room and Andy was surprised to find they didn't look gay at all. 'Wonders at Runway never cease' she thought, gripping the armrests of her chair. She shot another look at Leslie and decided that she definitely liked the woman. First of all she wasn't freakishly tall, secondly she was not a size 2 - a solid four. Leslie was in her late thirties and looked dashing with her bush of seemingly unruly curly hair, piercing green eyes with a twinkle and glowing tanned skin. 'She looks like a glamorous surfer girl' Andy thought and chuckled at that: Head of PR at Elias Clark must be a shark that eats surfer girls for breakfast, talk about deceiving looks.
Suddenly Andy noticed the silence that fell in the room and realised she was supposed to say something.
"Er… Yes, I know. I'm sorry if…"
"Oh, it's too late for that." Leslie smiled at her again, juts as charmingly as before. "Lets get down to business."
"Ok."
"I have already spoken to Miranda and we have her version of events - now we would like to hear yours."
A Dictaphone was turned on by Katrina as the girl said:
"Interview with Andrea Sachs with regards to Paris lesbian crisis on April 23rd 2006, 1 pm."
Andy couldn't help but shoot her an incredulous look:
"Are you seriously calling it Paris lesbian crisis?"
Katrina didn't bat an eyelash: "Well isn't it?"
Andy didn't really have anything to say to that.
"Andy, please tell us in your own words, what happened, leading up and during the incident."
"Ok." Andy recited the events as factually as possible, explaining the betrayal of Nigel and her deciding to quit. "And then I just felt I had to stop. So I got out of the car, walked away. Then my phone rang - it was Miranda calling. I didn't pick up. Instead, I threw the phone into the fountain, and headed off. Went to my hotel room, collected my things, got myself a ticket back to New York. Spent last night at my friend's. Read this morning's paper. Called Emily. And now I'm here."
"Hm…" Leslie studied her carefully: "Let's go back a bit. What exactly was the reasoning for your decision to quit?"
"It's hard to explain… I felt like I was losing myself to the job, It was all too intense. I just knew I had to do it." Andrea tried to explain, but Leslie just shook her head.
"Couldn't you quit like a normal person, Andy? Give a two-weeks notice? Why did you have to make such a big exit?"
"I didn't have to!" Andy cried, cursing her own stupidity. "I just did, I had all this feelings and I just…"
"Feelings? Lesbian feelings?"
"What?" Andy stared at Leslie in shock. "No! Not lesbian feelings! I was angry and confused and disappointed and angry and… I'm sorry, ok, it's not like I meant for all this to happen!" Andy began to feel trapped in this huge room with three silent people and ever-smiling Leslie.
"I'm sorry if this makes you uncomfortable Andy, you don't have to answer the questions you don't want to answer, ok? We're just trying to get to the bottom of this." this time Leslie's smile was reassuring and Andy felt a bit better.
"Are you having an affair with your boss Miranda Priestly?" Leslie asked the next question and added: "I'm sorry I have to ask just in case."
"No, I'm not. the relationship is purely professional."
"Great. Now how would you describe your actions? Running away and throwing your phone into the fountain - that's a lot of anger, Andy."
"I'd say that it was an overworked, tired, pissed off and confused personal assistant deciding that this job that a million girls would die for is not worth it and let them have it and being fed up with the whole thing and just running away from it. That's how I felt." Andy knew she was stepping a bit over the line, but she couldn't help herself.
To her surprise Leslie laughed softly: "Honestly Andy, I'm surprised that a person as outspoken as you are lasted 8 months at that job."
"I had to shut myself up a lot." Andy confessed. "Like all the time. Honestly, I felt like I was going crazy from all the things I didn't say out loud. It was like a constant buzz in my head."
"Ok" Leslie laughed even more. It was weird since she was the only one laughing in the room - the other three people including Katrina didn't even crack a smile, "I like you. Surprisingly. Although please refrain from repeating any of the above to the press, a lot falls under the NDA and you could be easily sued."
"I'm not planning on talking to the press!" Andy's eyes widened. "Really, I don't want to cause more trouble then I already have."
"Oh, but you will have to." Leslie said softly. "Please understand that you made this whole crisis happen and now you will have to help us fix it."
Andy heard someone chuckle. 'Thank god' she thought, 'they are alive'. However Leslie wasn't as happy as she was:
"Something funny, Derek? You find this situation amusing?"
One of the guys paled considerably and Andy realised that the cool, smiling surfer Leslie was gone - the woman talking to Derek was very Miranda-like.
"No, Leslie, I…" he stammered and she stared him down immediately.
"Keep your explanations to yourself please: the only thing that interests me now is the strategy of how we're going to get out of this, am I being clear?" Her green eyes were shooting flames and Andy shivered at the pregnant silence in the room.
"Yes, Leslie." He said quietly, getting back to making notes.
Leslie turned to Andrea once again, shaking the anger off and getting back to her surfer self. "Sorry Andrea. The thing is: you don't have to be here: you quit, your employment has been terminated yesterday. You can just go home and try to forget about this."
"Can I really?" Andy eyes her suspiciously.
"Not really, no." Leslie shrugged and continued: "We will work out an angle and the strategy of how we will handle this. If you choose to… participate, you will be included in the decision-making process and you will have our help with all the interviews and the paparazzi. If you decide to leave now, you will be on your own."
Andy swallowed. Being on her own was what she was going for after all.
"I think I'd rather not be involved. I don't see how I can help."
Leslie's smile faded and Andy prepared herself for the woman going ballistic on her this time. 'Anyway', she told herself, 'i don't own them anything anymore.' Deep inside she knew she was wrong - after all she was responsible for the situation, but the desire to get away from Elias Clark, the Runway, this whole world and especially Miranda Priestly, was too great.
"Well you're free to go." Leslie said, instead of yelling at her. "Be careful, there will be paparazzi at your house - they've been waiting since 6am this morning."
Andy just stared at her.
"I'm sorry? At my house you said?"
Leslie played with her curls and shot Andy an innocent look: "Well yes. You and Miranda are the biggest news in town so there are certain… perks, you know."
"Your sarcasm is not helping." The retort at least made Andy happy. She realised she didn't have to micromanage her every word now and it was liberating. The thought of paparazzi following her around wasn't as liberating though.
"Also, I suppose you'd be looking for a new job." Leslie continued calmly, "which may also prove difficult under the circumstances."
"I see." Andy realised now this was not as simple as she'd hoped. "And if I… cooperate… would you see to that it would be easier?" she couldn't believe she was about to play this game, but there didn't seem to be a choice. Having no choice was something she had run away from two days ago and it got her into this. Great, just great.
"Of course!" Leslie beamed, encouraging her line of thought. "We will also take it upon ourselves to provide you with comfort and protection, as well as the statements etc. We will represent you and Miranda fully."
"Great." Andy's tone was as unenthusiastic as ever, but Leslie choose to ignore it:
"Great! Now moving on to business. We have twenty minutes until the conference call with Miranda. Get to work people, get me some fresh ideas! Andy, could you wait outside please?"
"Sure." Andy got up, heading for the door.
"Just try not to run into Emily." Leslie warned her with a chuckle. "We can handle the media and all, but she is fierce."
"Oh, I know!" Andrea laughed. "I'll try to avoid being beaten to death with a crutch - that is bad PR after all." She winked at Leslie and left the room.
This was going to suck.