"Spike?" Buffy, who had gone from weeping to gawking, asked incredulously, "You want *Spike* to be the caregiver to my little sister?" she paused, "Are we talking about the same Spike? Undead, evil vampire with a bad bleach job?"
"You said it yourself, there's no one else. And plus, he hasn't been evil for a long time. He took care of Drusilla even when he was evil." Willow argued.
Drusilla is a mentally challenged, psycho *killer*, Dawn is my little sister. Who knows what he'll tell her. He'll pervert her. There's got to be somebody else. I know, Angel!"
Willow frowned, "What about Dawn not liking him?"
"To Hell with that!"
"Buffy, Angel's busy, he has the detective agency to run and he already has to look after his son-"
"SON? *Angel* has a *son*?"
"Didn't Cordelia tell you?"
"No! It's not her baby is it? Oh, so she's got herself pregnant and she's trying to blame Angel." Buffy ranted.
"It's not Cordelia's," Willow interjected, "It's Darla's."
"DARLA? That slut?" Buffy fumed, then added as an afterthought, "I thought she was dead. Dieing really does throw you out of the loop."
"Buffy we're getting a bit off track. Focus."
"Right. Willow, I'm not having Spike as Dawn's foster father."
"He's your only choice, and it's not like you have to sleep together or anything, you don't even have to sleep in the same room."
"He's not a good influence on Dawn."
"He has changed. After you died he came over every night to take care of her. It will be just the same as that but you will be here to keep him in line. Buffy, he's the *only* way for you to keep her."
Buffy relented. "Fine," she said, "but he sleeps on the couch."
*~*~*~*
As usual, Buffy stormed into Spike's crypt, without bothering to knock and spat a cold greeting.
"Spike."
"Come for another helping, love?" he said with a leer.
Buffy thrust the letter from Social Services in his face.
"What's this?" he asked.
"Just read it."
"Is this for real?" he asked after a while.
"No, it's all part of my elaborate scheme to get into your pants." Buffy snarled.
"Already done that, pet"
"UGH!"
"Don't get your knickers in a knot, I was just kidding," Spike said as Buffy headed for the door.
She turned around, "Yes, Spike, it is for real."
"Is there anything I can do?"
Buffy so did not want to do this, she squared her shoulders, looked Spike in the eye and forced the words out.
"Actually, there is something."
Spike raised an eyebrow in surprise, "You're asking me for help?"
"Look, I don't want to do this anymore than you want to take up sunbathing, but you're my only hope. I need you to be Dawn's male caregiver. I wouldn't be asking if there was any other way."
"You know I'll do it, pet. I love Niblet. I don't want her to be sent away."
"Well...good," Buffy said harshly, "But there's a few things you need to know first. One, no kissing or sexual innuendos of any kind. Two, you're there to help take care of Dawn, and *nothing* else." Spike opened his mouth to interrupt, but she held up her hand to cut him off, "And three, you're sleeping on the couch!"
The vampire chuckled.
"Wouldn't have it any other way, pet."
"You said it yourself, there's no one else. And plus, he hasn't been evil for a long time. He took care of Drusilla even when he was evil." Willow argued.
Drusilla is a mentally challenged, psycho *killer*, Dawn is my little sister. Who knows what he'll tell her. He'll pervert her. There's got to be somebody else. I know, Angel!"
Willow frowned, "What about Dawn not liking him?"
"To Hell with that!"
"Buffy, Angel's busy, he has the detective agency to run and he already has to look after his son-"
"SON? *Angel* has a *son*?"
"Didn't Cordelia tell you?"
"No! It's not her baby is it? Oh, so she's got herself pregnant and she's trying to blame Angel." Buffy ranted.
"It's not Cordelia's," Willow interjected, "It's Darla's."
"DARLA? That slut?" Buffy fumed, then added as an afterthought, "I thought she was dead. Dieing really does throw you out of the loop."
"Buffy we're getting a bit off track. Focus."
"Right. Willow, I'm not having Spike as Dawn's foster father."
"He's your only choice, and it's not like you have to sleep together or anything, you don't even have to sleep in the same room."
"He's not a good influence on Dawn."
"He has changed. After you died he came over every night to take care of her. It will be just the same as that but you will be here to keep him in line. Buffy, he's the *only* way for you to keep her."
Buffy relented. "Fine," she said, "but he sleeps on the couch."
*~*~*~*
As usual, Buffy stormed into Spike's crypt, without bothering to knock and spat a cold greeting.
"Spike."
"Come for another helping, love?" he said with a leer.
Buffy thrust the letter from Social Services in his face.
"What's this?" he asked.
"Just read it."
"Is this for real?" he asked after a while.
"No, it's all part of my elaborate scheme to get into your pants." Buffy snarled.
"Already done that, pet"
"UGH!"
"Don't get your knickers in a knot, I was just kidding," Spike said as Buffy headed for the door.
She turned around, "Yes, Spike, it is for real."
"Is there anything I can do?"
Buffy so did not want to do this, she squared her shoulders, looked Spike in the eye and forced the words out.
"Actually, there is something."
Spike raised an eyebrow in surprise, "You're asking me for help?"
"Look, I don't want to do this anymore than you want to take up sunbathing, but you're my only hope. I need you to be Dawn's male caregiver. I wouldn't be asking if there was any other way."
"You know I'll do it, pet. I love Niblet. I don't want her to be sent away."
"Well...good," Buffy said harshly, "But there's a few things you need to know first. One, no kissing or sexual innuendos of any kind. Two, you're there to help take care of Dawn, and *nothing* else." Spike opened his mouth to interrupt, but she held up her hand to cut him off, "And three, you're sleeping on the couch!"
The vampire chuckled.
"Wouldn't have it any other way, pet."