"Phoenix!" I say as I sprint over to her.

She curls further into a ball and mutters, "Help me Theta Sigma."

The world stops spinning. Time stops. My hearts freeze as my blood turns to ice. "What," I whisper softly. My name. She. Knows. My. Real. Name.

My brain goes into panic mode and on autopilot I fly the Tardis into the Time Vortex. I turn around to an even greater shock and see Phoenix glowing with a blue light. It almost looks like- No it can't-

She explodes with blue regeneration energy and I have to block my eyes with my hand it's so bright. It fades away after a minute but when I open my eyes all I see are white spots. After rubbing my eyes they behold a tall ginger woman where Phoenix just was. Wearing the same clothes…

"Phoenix?"

The Doctor's POV

What just happened? Am I dreaming because this human just regenerated into a Time Lady… I pinch myself hard and yelp. Ok...not a dream then.

Some functioning part of my brain realizes I need to do something, so I run over to Phoenix and scoop her into my arms. "Medbay, medbay, medbay," I can't help but mutter. Her head rolls over to rest against my chest and I pause a second to study her new face.

Her porcelain face is bare except for a few light freckles across her nose and across her cheekbones. Lush lashes exaggerate her already large eyes. Full lips bend dramatically with a cupid's bow. Her ginger hair is so bright I'm surprised it isn't radiating its own light.

Stop ogling her, my brain scolds and a blush rushes up my neck and into my face. I wasn't ogling her, I was...studying her beauty. I mean I was looking at her face! Her perfectly average, last Time Lady in existance face. I mean-!

I mentally facepalm. This is not going well.

I walk briskly to the medbay, careful to not disturb her during her post-regeneration coma. That never ends well for anyone. Neural implosions are one of Rassilon's favorite things.

The door opens automatically, revealing a sterile room filled with hovering beds and a plethora of medical equipment. I lay her down on a bed and start applying electrodes to monitor her hearts' rates. Her vital signs look good and I let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding and fall into a nearby chair.

Three days later

Phoenix has been stirring more often and I eagerly wait for her to wake up. Also three days straight of sitting has left my mind to wander to unpleasant things.

"Shhhh," she slurs out sleepily. She's awake! This is great! I was starting to worry about how long she had been recovering.

I gently shake her shoulders and try to coax her awake by saying, "Phoenix. Phoenix wake up now."

"Just fiftween more mins," she groans and rolls onto her side to face me. The heart monitors beep a little faster as she wakes up. "Mooommm! I'm sleeeeeping." She squishes up her face and says annoyed, "Why is someone tawking at the same time I'mmm talking? Stahp itttt."

I let out a chuckle that is one part from how funny this is and one part from the release of stress.

She shoots up in bed and the beeping of her heart monitors combine to form one long beep. "Woah there. You were in a coma after your regeneration. You're in the medbay of the Tardis and you're perfectly safe," I state calmly and put my hands up.

She studies me a moment and then throws herself onto her back. "Oh, yeah. That…" she says breathlessly.

"How about we find you a room and you can lay down an' rest some more. Or, if you're feeling up to it, you can explain part of your story." Please pick option number two. Please pick option number two.

Phoenix sits up and stretches. She stands up and walks towards the medbay door. Well there's my answer then. I follow next to her and start a conversation. "How about we start things over. I'm the Doctor. This is my Tardis that I recently learned is a she. Say hello to the Tardis."

She giggles and runs her hand along the wall. "Hello old girl. I'm glad to meet you." She then turns to me and says, "I'm Phoenix. My real name is Florence if you want to call me that. I blurted out Phoenix because that's my superhero name." She blushes slightly but continues nevertheless, "I've always dreamed about meeting you. You're my first Doctor and I do have a slight preference for you."

Has she met other mes? She likes me the best?

"That probably sounds really weird right now but it'll make sense once I tell you my story."

We walk in silence till I spot a door with 'Phoenix' written in Circular Gallifreyan in gold. "Here's your room. If you don't like-"

She opens the door and both our jaws drop to the floor. It looks like someone took all the best things from an architectural magazine and morphed it into one room.

The walls are a deep, soothing blue and the carpet is a light beige. The bottom level has several wooden bookcases and a circular sunken area in the floor filled with a multitude of pillows and blankets. The wall in front of the-I'm just call it a couch pit-is one large TV screen.

A door off to the left leads into a bathroom fit for a God, complete with a huge clawfoot tub. A spiral staircase leads up to a loft area that has another couch pit-let's call this one a bed pit. In the corner is a desk with an egg chair and already looks lived in with the amount of things skewed about on it. A walk in closet finishes off the bedroom loft area.

"Woah," Phoenix drawls out. "The first floor is an entertainment center where I can hang out with all our friends and then when I get tired I can go up the goddamn spiral staircase and sleep in the pillow slash blanket explosion. This is fucking perfect!"

My room is probably the same size as this and just as elaborate. Her's might be slightly bigger… slightly.

"Do you wanna sit in the couch pit and talk?" I ask.

"'Couch pit', I like that, sounds comfortable."

We make our way down and Phoenix surprises me by running and launching herself into the couch pit. "It is Florence approved," she states and imitates stamping a seal of approval on the closest pillow.

I follow her example and flop into the pillows. "'Florence'. That's such a beautiful and unique name. Why did you switch it?" I ask. Phoenix and Florence are both ethereal names in my opinion. But what power does my opinion hold?

She blushes and says, "Thank you. I don't know. Maybe I just wanted to start a new life in this universe and leave my past behind me. Phoenix just popped into my head and I just thought 'what the hell'."

"You can never truly forget your past, it's what makes you who you are, like it or not." I brace myself and open myself up for the first time in a long time. "I've done some terrible things in my 900+ years. I've become someone, something, I hate to look at anymore." I don't know why I told her this but it just felt right.

She gets a look of pity and I have to look away. "Oh Theta," she says comfortingly. I suddenly find myself on the receiving end of a hug and hang on for dear life as flashbacks of the War hit me like a ton of bricks. "You are the best man I have ever known."

"We just met," I say confused.

She pulls back and says, "About that…" What… "This isn't my universe. In my universe there are no aliens, no time travel, no Time Lords. Your life is a popular TV show that has been running for 50+ years."

I bolt up and start pacing the room. "No. No. This is not happening. You just ate some bad Chinese and have a really, really, bad case of food poisoning. Or maybe the crazy has finally set in." I look back at Phoenix who looks heartbroken. "It's ok, she's just a hallucination Theta."

"Doctor?"

"You're not real. The stress is causing me to hallucinate. Mother said this would happen. 'You're too imaginative Theta.' 'You're going to end up like your Father, Theta. You don't want that to happen, don't you?'" I pull at my face and scream at the walls, "Look what finally happened Mother! I'm crazy, just like Koschei and Father!"

"Stop it! Please!" Phoenix wails and falls into a sobbing fit.

I run. Just like I always do. I sprint through halls and slam into corners, but most importantly, I keep running.

The Tardis's POV

Fire curls into herself and sobs after my Thief sprints out of her room. Oh Thief, what will-I mean have-you done? Fire is here to heal you, and in turn heal herself with your help.

I put on Monty Python and the Holy Grail and gently shake the floor to get Fire's attention.

"Huh?" she says and looks up. A huge grin filled-fills, tenses are so hard-her face when she recognises the opening credits and she reads along with the subtitles with her attempt at a Swedish accent.

"Monti Python ik den Holie Grailen. Wik. Also wik. Also also wik. Wi not trei a holiday in Sweden this yer? See the loveli lakes. The wonderful telephone system. And mani interesting furry animals. Including the majestik moose. A moose once bit my sister… No realli! She was Karving her initials on the moose with the sharpened end of an interspace toothbrush given to her by Svenge-her brother-in-law-an Oslo dentist and start of many Norwegian movies: "The Hot Hands of an Oslo Dentist", "Fillings of Passion", "The Huge Molars of Horst Nordfink"... We apologise for the fault in the subtitles. Those responsible have been sacked. Mynd you, moose bites Kan be pretti nasti…"

She starts uncontrollably laughing and starts rolling and flopping around like a fish out of water. When Fire remembers the lines, which was-is-most of the time, she says them along with the actors.

Now that I've got Fire calmed down I have work on Thief. If I had a physical body I would crack my knuckles and shake out my hands. For extra luck I would crack my neck and jump up and down a few times to get my blood pumping.

Thief is currently still running around my halls like a chicken with its head cut off. Oh dear, this was worse than I thought. I change my halls so that the next corner he runs around ends in a dead end. He slams into the wall and pounds on it several times. "Let me go! I have to keep running!" He hiccups and slides down onto his knees. He rests his head against the obstacle and says softly, "Must keep running."

I teleport a sleeping pill and a cup of water next to him and he looks at them sadly. This isn't the first time this has happened. Last time I had to blow dart him in the ass with sleeping medicine. Yeah…

He takes the meds and crawls into the corner to wait for it to kick in. Luckily he doesn't fight it and after he's out cold I teleport him to his bed.

Around this time Fire's movie finishes. I open her door and put lighted arrows on the floor to guide her to Thief's room. He needs an actual person's help right now, not just me.

"I assume you want me to follow the yellow brick road?" Fire asks rhetorically and starts walking. "I'll try my best to help him. I imagine the last few years-or however long it's been since the Time War-have been rough for him." It sure has.

She opens his door and walks over to sit on the edge of his bed. "I'm sorry for freaking you out. I should have taken it slower. If I learned my life was a TV show I would freak out too." She sighs and runs her fingers through her hair. "Wait a minute… Why does my hair feel so soft?" She brings the end of her hair in front of her and gasps. "I'm a ginger?! You regenerated stupid, you could be a ginger girl version of John Barrowman for all you know," she says and facepalms.

"Bathroom? Bathroom? Bathroom!" she mutters to herself and walks into Thief's en suite. "Woah…" Fire twists and turns to check her new body out in the mirror. "I am hot?! Damn, I must have grown a few inches too." She leans in closer to the mirror and squeals, "I have green Jensen eyes! Oh my Chuck, Sherlock, Watson, Sam, Dean, Cas, everyone."

Ha ha ha! She is so adorable! Oh Fire, I could listen to you all day. Your soul is so pure and light hearted. Please do one thing for me: never change. No matter how awful the world is to you, hold on. There is always a light, or friend, at the end of the tunnel.

I almost forgot! I have to get Fire ready for her next adventure! I teleport a huge pile of clothes into the bathroom next to her. "I guess I need to change. Right Sexy?" I hum in agreement. "My clothes are a little tight now." She sifts through all the different clothes and occasionally holds something up against herself to see if she approves. "Lederhosen?! You thought I might want to wear lederhosen?!"

Hey! I wanted her to be able to pick out her new outfit herself so I gave her a variety of styles...lederhosen included. Team Free Will for life.

"A military trench coat?!' she exclaims and throws it on. "Finders keepers!" She keeps digging and finds a vintage 1950s cream colored silk chiffon dress. It has a scoop back, wide neckline, fitted waist with matching belt, and an airy pleated silk skirt that goes just below her knees. "Please fit! Please fit!" she whispers as she changes into it. "Victory screech!" Fire squeals and dances around.

"Shoes… My shoes don't match anymore." Her Victorian era burgundy boots do not match at all.

She pulls out neon orange gogo boots and puts them on for funsies. "Oh yeah, I am rockin' it. John Barrowman/Jack would be so proud!" After some more digging she exclaims, "Ooo! Knee high grey converse?!" She hops on one leg as she puts them one. "Does this look ok?"

Surprising it works in a very eccentric way. It's vintage with the grey woolen military trench coat over the 40s cream dress, but also hip with the knee high converse.

I flip on one the lights on and off again and she grins. "One blink yes, two blinks no, three blinks maybe?"

I flip the light off and on again once to signal 'yes'. It's so nice having someone interact with me. Sometimes when Thief is gone for a long time I think I'm back in the museum wasting away on display.

It's not too much longer! Phoenix's stomach says, "Mlurk, berve, vlurm!"

"Shhh stomach. God, you can be so annoying," Phoenix replies and pats her stomach.

After some wandering and exploring she finds the kitchen. I put into action the plan I had been concocting for decades, ever since I saw Phoenix in the Time Vortex.

A previous stray that Thief and I, mostly Thief, had picked up a few hundred years ago had been really good at baking. Like make-Mycroft-lose-the-stick-up-his-ass-and-abandon-his-diet-for-good good at baking.

I put two cherry pies he made, yes it was a he, into stasis so they wouldn't go bad and waited. And waited. And waited, all for this moment.

Fire opens the fridge and sees two steaming hot pies. "Pie. Pie. Pie. Pie. Pie. Pie. Pie. Pie." She goes to sit down and the second part of my plan comes into play. "Ow! My messenger bag? How did you get on my chair?" She shrugs it off and slips the strap over her shoulder. "Do I want to get a plate for my pie like a civilized person or eat it out of the-" She interrupts herself by grabbing a fork and shoving pie into her mouth straight from the pan. "Mmmm. Good choice," she purrs.

And take-off.

"What the fuck? Why do I see a shitty motel room and the kitchen at the same time?" Fire looks down at herself and screams, almost dropping the second full pie she's holding. "I'm turning invisible?! What the hell is happening?"

She disappears just as my Thief wakes up muttering, "What the hell just happened?" Why Thief, something fantastic just happened.

That was...interesting. Leave your love in a review! PM me with questions or if you just wanna chat.

Special thanks to BethyQuake for beta-ing and being fucking awesome!

~Squidtastik